


The Descendants

by WaterlilyRose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Curses, F/F, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Inspiration from The Secret Garden, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Multi, Rey Kenobi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 112,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6886240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaterlilyRose/pseuds/WaterlilyRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A curse said in rage and error has haunted the Skywalker family for fifty years. The man on the throne a mystery behind a mask. </p><p>Rey could never anticipate just what role she would play in setting them all free.</p><p> </p><p>'You need a teacher'</p><p>'I need a teacher' Rey nodded. She placed her hand in his. 'But so do you.'</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A Beauty and The Beast retelling in a galaxy far far away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is an idea I've been playing with for a while. It's got elements of an arranged marriage and Beauty and the Beast. 
> 
> It's a total change of pace from my last fic. I really hope it works.#
> 
> EDIT: My tumblr is https://waterlilyrose.tumblr.com/

The Queen's feet echoed in the throne room as she paced back and forth. The medi droids had been insistent that she needed to return to her bed. She was still fragile and her body needed to heal. C3-P0 was standing not far from her, clearly waiting for the moment she tired herself out and he could usher her back to bed. He was in for a long wait. Padme Amidala was nothing if not persistent.

 

She wouldn't rest until she had seen him.

 

Anakin would not let his quest for power rest. Being the husband of a reigning queen had suited him well enough to begin with but the tide had now turned. There was a time when his Jedi abilities and their love were strong enough to sustain them both.

 

She should never have allowed Palpatine clemency. Sometimes being a Queen meant bargaining for peace but allowing him back into the capital and back into her husband's life had been one of her greatest errors.

 

The man may have had thirty years on her but his desire to be her consort upon the throne of Naboo had been as plain as day. Padme had barely been a day over sixteen when he first asked for her hand. She was a dab hand at keeping an impassive face in the face of trouble but even she knew her white make-up and jewels could only cover up so much. Her revulsion must have been there for all to see.

 

She had known Anakin when he came before her as a young padawan when she was still a girl. She had been indulgent of the attentions of the ten-year-old but did not dwell on it too much. He was a child and she had far too many plans and destinies to think of anything but her upcoming reign.

 

They met again ten years later and the tale played out rather differently. A worldwind of passion, declarations of undying love and promises of forever had passed between them and within months the Queen had a King, of sorts.

 

Of course, it could not be that straightforward. The Jedi temple tried to expel him from his training as a result of his transgression and he had been made to take a step back from ever becoming a Jedi Master. His indignation and fury had been terrible to see but Padme's words held little sway in the face of the ancient rituals.

 

We cannot rewrite the rules of the Jedi just because he had the foresight to marry a powerful wife, Mace Windu had stated in response to her pleas.

 

Padme had hoped the news of her pregnancy would be balm to the burn but, while Anakin expressed happiness at the news, it felt and sounded hollow. His eyes were roaming for ways of reclaiming what he had once lost. And Palpatine had stepped into the role of nurturer to this ambition.

 

Anakin had always been arrogant, even Padme couldn't deny the truth in that, but even at the beginning his growing sense of entitlement had started to worry her. She had sought out help in the only place she could think to find it.

 

The approach of a beeping and CP30's cry of “R2! My dear friend, how good it is to see you!” alerted her that help had come.

 

Obi Wan lowered his hood and bowed to the Queen. Padme gave what must have been a truly pathetic attempt at a smile and then turned to the gold droid who had refused to leave her since she had given birth a week ago.

 

“C3P0, why don't you take R2 to see the… the children.” She steadied her breathing with effort. “I must speak to Master Kenobi alone.”

 

“Oh, um,” C3P0 clearly wasn't sure what to make of that but Obi Wan's look of _Go or I will force-push you out the door_ seemed to help the decision-making process, “very well. Come along R2. You must see what we have done with the nursery. I really do believe it is...” The droid's voice faded as they left the room and down the corridors.

 

Padme and Obi Wan looked at each other.

 

“I came as soon as I could. I was not expecting to see you up.”

 

“I couldn't lie in bed any longer.” Padme explained. “Not now.”

 

“I needed to stay away Padme. He's become… so volatile. I thought my presence would make it worse for you.” Obi Wan looked the closest she had ever seen to uncomfortable. A testament to the times.

 

“I appreciate your efforts but, if ever I need you at my side, it's now.”

 

“What do you need from me?”

 

Padme was silent and went to sit upon her throne. She couldn't believe it had come to this.

 

“I need you to get the children away from him.”

 

Obi Wan was clearly speechless. Even she couldn't believe she had actually said the words.

 

She understood Obi Wan's decision to stay away. Anakin and him had been master and student and as close as brothers. The pain that their marriage had caused the Jedi Master was one of the only things that had given Padme pause in the aftermath. Ten years training over and never to be completed. Even Anakin had expressed regret.

 

Obi Wan had been one of the first to bring Palpatine's motives to the Queen's attention. They had discussed the implications in depth and somewhere along the line Obi Wan had changed hands from Anakin as a mentor to Padme as an advisor.

 

And therein lay the problem:

 

Anakin's temper and possessive jealousy.

 

Again, Padme had know Anakin was a jealous man. To see other Jedis prosper quicker than him had made him bitter and almost infantile in his reactions. Padme had forgiven this as youthful impatience. He had even been hostile to Palpatine for a time when he found out about his attempts at matrimony with her though Padme had almost encouraged that. Anything to stop this power-play between the two. But, when Anakin began questioning why Obi Wan was always being called to the palace, Padme was horrified.

 

She had hoped that distance from her friend may help and bring Anakin back to her side. But now that she knew how much the dark power he coveted was corrupting him…

 

“Padme, think about what you're saying.”

 

“I have done nothing but think about it. And I can't think of any other option. I've heard things, Obi Wan. Terrible things. Things that I never thought I would hear. And they've been done by his hand.” She looked at him. “It is true, isn't it? Mace Windu is dead.”

 

Obi Wan could do nothing but nod and watch the last hope die in the Queen's eyes.

 

“The other Jedis?”

 

“Missing. Presumed dead. I managed to conceal myself.”

 

“He means to take my throne. Not by Force but through coercion. He will make it out as though he is doing it for us. I know better.” Tears dripped down her face. “He may take my throne if he must. May take the palace. But the children… I won't allow him to corrupt them.”

 

“What would you have me do?” Obi Wan watched her carefully. Almost as though he was giving her a chance to change her mind.

 

She would not.

 

“Take them with you into hiding. Find a home for them. Homes if needs be. I would rather they were not separated but if it is the only means of protecting them…”

 

“And you?”

 

Padme sat back. Raised her head and fought her grief. “I am a Queen. I belong with my people. I will fight for their freedom from tyranny. Even if I helped nurture the tyranny.”

 

Obi Wan and Padme held each others gaze and then she stood and walked towards the direction of the nursery.

 

She wrapped them up warm. Her precious son and her beautiful daughter. Her treasures. You have to keep treasures safe. And this place was no longer safe.

 

She walked down to the hanger where a shuttle was waiting for Obi Wan. There was a faint tremor outside but she barely heard it. She kissed her children gently on the foreheads.

 

“Have a care with them. They are my world.”

 

Obi Wan held one child while a medi droid held the other. He looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms.

 

“What are their names?”

 

Padme sniffed. “The girl is Leia.” She stroked the head of the baby in the droids arms and then looked down at the child in his. “And the boy is Luke.”

 

Obi Wan nodded to the Queen, terrible and beautiful in her heartbreak and boarded the ship with the children and the droids.

 

Padme watched as they flew into the distance. And only let out a howl of anguish when she could no longer see them.

 

She didn't know how long she knelt there, on the cold floor of the hanger, when she heard a cry.

 

“Padme! Padme, where are the children?” She turned her head.

 

Anakin was running towards her. If she ever needed proof that she had made a good choice, it was now in front of her. His face was contorted with anguish and his eyes accusing. Where had her Ani gone? How had she let him slip away into the night?

 

“Gone.”

 

Anakin stood over her. “Gone?” The voice grew demanding. Always demanding. “Gone where?”

 

“Away. Far from here.”

 

Anakin looked like he had lost his breath then stopped. Looked around. Back at her. The anger was rising rapidly.

 

“Obi Wan was here. I can sense him. What was he doing here?”

 

Padme knew her heart would never heal.

 

“I needed a friend. I need help so I called for him.” She shakily got to her feet, her eyes never leaving Anakin's bloodshot ones. “I pleaded with you. After they were born. I asked you to come back to me. You left. Left us. And went out and committed evil. I know about the Jedis, Ani. I know it all.”

 

“What have you done, Padme? _What have you done!?_ ”

 

“The Darkside has taken you. Do you think I would let it take them as well?”

 

Anakin's rage was bursting out. Lights were exploding around them. Metal starting to dent in the ships surrounding them. Padme didn't move. She knew what was coming. She was ready.

 

The pressure around her neck cut off all air getting to her lungs. She raised her hands to her throat on instinct to pull away some of the pressure. She was forced to look at her husband. Her love. Her children's father. All she saw looking back was hate. Her last thought was of her two babes in the arms of the last hope she had left.

 

* * *

 

Anakin let the pressure around her neck go and Padme slumped to the floor in a heap. Looking on her, he felt mounting horror. She couldn't be… he couldn't have. Not to her.

 

After ten minutes of shaking her and screaming at her to wake up, he was met with the unbearable realisation that he could and he had.

 

He tried to sense his children but they were as far removed from him as Padme now was.

 

Obi Wan…

 

He'd done this. Anakin had know, had always known, that the Jedi had been up to something. Padme was too trusting to see. He had been around from the start, always there, always hindering.

 

Anakin baulked.

 

Had she given Obi Wan the children because… they were his?

 

The more he thought it over, the more convinced he became. Padme would not hand over the children to just anyone.

 

A roar escaped his lips.

 

Every dark energy he had collected inside him built to a crusendo.

 

He looked up at the heavens and screamed.

 

The children in Obi Wan's arms would be cursed. No male descendant of their line would ever know the love of another. The love that had been his. That had been stolen.

 

The power surged out of his body. The ships around him exploded in to flames and the room was engulfed in seconds.

 

Let them hide. Let them run. His power would make sure they never had a moment's rest.

 

The foundations collapsed around him and the legacy began its course.


	2. What's In A Name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you so much for the feedback, kudos and bookmarks. I read every single one and love them all.
> 
> I'm aiming to update about every five days but bare with me if it's sometimes a bit longer.

_**Fifty Years Later** _

 

The wire around the condenser sparked and smoked.

 

“OW!” Rey hissed and sucked her finger that had caught the heat of the wire. This ship was a complete wreck. Unkar Plutt had demanded she have a look at this hunk of junk that he had bought for a steal with the promise of decent portions for every piece she could rescue.

 

Rey was in no doubt after working on this thing for the better part of three days that the reason it was a steal was because it wasn't worth the sand it was sitting on.

 

There had been a certain excitement about working on a Corellian corvette or a Rebel blockade runner as some called it. She had worked primarily on wrecks of the old Empire like TIE fighters or landing crafts. There was a thrill of working on a rebel ship. The thrill had diluted somewhat with the knowledge that it had no special qualities other than taking more hits than Rey could imagine.

 

Rey wiped the grease off her hands and looked down at her sack of saves. It wasn't much (not for what Plutt seemed to expect anyway) but it would suffice that he would uphold her portion promise at least. Well, once she argued her point that this ship was well placed on a junk-yard planet.

 

The spaceship was mercifully close to the Niima Outpost so it saved her the job of dragging it across several miles of desert. These latest jobs had kept her away from her AT-AT home for a few weeks. Plutt had worked her like a dog lately and let her sleep in a hut near his trading station. It was tiny and didn't give her room to stand upright but it keep the worst of the cold out when night fell.

 

There were rumours circulating that Putt was having financial troubles and was in debt to various merchants. It would explain his latest desperate purchases and demands that Rey work miracles beyond even her skills.

 

Plutt was her employer, her main source of food and the bane of her life. Yet she still felt something akin to pity if those rumours proved true. There were some pretty shady characters in the galaxy these days.

 

The dust whipped at her freckled face as she dumped the sack at his trading post. Plutt glared at the bag as though it had insulted his mother.

 

“What is that?” He demanded.

 

“The best I could get out of the left engine. There's a reason it was so cheap, Plutt.”

 

“This stuff can be gotten off of any ship. It's nothing special. How do I make a profit out of this?” He normally sounded angry but actually sounded something akin to desperate. Panicked.

 

“I can only work with what you give me. That ship is over nineteen years old. The parts have been chopped and changed since before I was born!”

 

“Damn it, Rey! I need results.”

 

“And I need food. That's why I haven't given up on it altogether. But Plutt, you know ships and you know as well as me, this one is not going to make your fortune.”

 

She expected more of a fight but something about him seem to deflate. He seemed… resigned.

 

“Fine! Move on to the other ship. The underwater one they used to use in the Gungan city. That hasn't been shot at! Get me results!” With that he threw a packet at her (containing a measly half portion) and threw down the shutters of his desk.

 

Rey stood in shock for a moment before snatching her food packet up before anyone could try and grab it instead.

 

That had been almost calm for Plutt. She had seen him throw people out of the Niima outpost for not delivering his demands. They often returned, he needed all the hands he could after all, but not before a few days of growing weak from hunger. She had enough rations stored to survive that but it was always best avoided.

 

What was so important to get results for?

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Rey ate her portion and tried to settle herself down to sleep on the itchy blanket she had bought from her hideout in the desert. She didn't have anything worth stealing out there and had taken the important stuff, e.g. her staff, with her. She still didn't like the idea of leaving it too long. You never know who, or what, might be living in it once she got back.

 

This was the only life she had ever known or remembered at any rate. Putt had taken her on as an apprentice when she was four. Her parents were dead. She'd held out hope that they would return but fifteen years later the wait was proving rather fruitless. Something must have happened to them. Or they didn't have any intention of returning. For that reason, she preferred to believe they had died.

 

The future was precarious for her. She had always had the intention of remaining on Jakku until her parents returned. She considered taking scavenger jobs on board ships that passed through Plutt's yard but some of the characters that came to Jakku were worse than Plutt himself. She didn't want to trade one level of servitude for a worse one. And there were always worse ones.

 

She had survived through a mixture of determination and cunning. Had always come out of things mostly unscratched. Why mess with success?

 

She did own something though: a name. Plutt was the only one who knew it and he seemed to believe it carried weight. He wouldn't tell her though. It was apparently a dangerous name to have and it kept her loyal to him. Stopped her getting too far from him.

 

It was another thing keeping her here. She needed that name and had to prize it out of Plutt's grip if she was to get anywhere.

 

She closed her eyes and willed herself to rest.

 

 

*

 

 

Screams jerked her away. The air was cold and the lack of light breaking through her hut indicted it was still night. Sitting up right, she heard more cries.

 

Grabbing her staff, she dashed out of the hut.

 

Lights. Lights everywhere. People, creatures of all species from the outpost, running here and there.

 

Rey looked towards the lights in the sky. Ships approaching. A small fleet by the look of it. Nothing substantial.

 

But this was no passing ship looking for parts. It had the signet of the First Order.

 

_Oh Force._

 

The First Order were the personal army of the Monarchy. The suits of white plated armour was enough to send most people running. The first Sovereign of the Galaxy, Lord Vader, had been the stuff nightmares were made of and his footmen hadn't upgraded their uniform for that reason. It kept people in line if nothing else.

 

The small army of helmet faced men were quick to round up everyone. Rey found herself shoved into the crowd while Unkar Plutt was dragged to the front.

 

Dawning realisation turned to horror.

 

_This was who he was in debt to? Did he have a death wish?_

 

The largest shuttle landed almost elegantly. The wings turning upright upon landing. If the circumstances were not quite so terrible, Rey may have admired the handiwork of the shuttle.

 

_If only Plutt had got that for parts, all his troubles would be over._

 

The bridge descended and two figures stalked down. The first was a taller, shinier version of the other Stormtroopers. The armour made out of silver plate signified status but the confident walk spoke more of the promotion they held than the armour. The second figure wasn't a Stormtrooper at all. Dressed in a heavy black overcoat with no show of any other colour underneath, his red hair seemed almost comically out of place with the colourlessness of his character. It was slicked back as though by getting it out of his sight, it might hide it a little better. His face was pale, almost gaunt with eyes a watery blue. He seemed to be the kind of man who had never smiled naturally in his life and despised anyone capable of doing so.

 

The two figures looked around the Outpost with disdain and then approached Plutt who was flanked by two Stormtroopers.

 

“You didn't think I would just let you get away with not paying me what was due, did you?” The man asked contemptuously. Even his voice was laced with disdain. Rey gripped her staff.

 

“General Hux, please!” She had never heard Plutt sound so pathetic. “The terms and time given to me to pay you is just too tight. I have been working all the hours the sun provides...”

 

He's _been working? Oh, that's rich._

 

“We were quite clear of the terms at the time, Plutt.” The man called Hux dismissed. “You seemed happy to agree with them at the time.”

 

“Please, I'm begging you. Just a bit more time. Business isn't what it was.”

 

“My patience has been exhausted. My men will take whatever ships we deem valuable as part of your payment.”

 

“But it's my livelihood. We'll starve!”

 

“Not my problem.”

 

Rey gripped the staff so hard her knuckles paled. How were they going to survive without ships to work on?

 

Hux turned to the men flanking Plutt. “Take him with you to the Outpost. He can point out the best ships. If he runs, shoot him.”

 

Plutt was dragged off between two Stormtroopers.

 

The crowd huddled together as far from the men as they could get. Rey saw an elderly woman who she had seen cleaning parts with her at times stumble slightly out of line. One of the Stormtroopers grabbed her by the arm and shoved her back so roughly she fell into the dirt.

 

Rey swung her staff at the Stormtrooper before she could think much further. The metal hilt caught him on the head so hard it cracked the visor.Another one came at her and got similar treatment.

 

Sadly guns generally beat staffs in a war of weapons. When Rey had at least five guns pointed at her, she had no choice but to drop her only defence in a world as brutal as this one.

 

General Hux's pale blue eyes scrutinized her with even more distaste than they had Plutt.

 

“What gives you the right to brutalize my men?”

 

“What gives you the right the brutalize innocent civilians?” If this was how it ended may as well say her piece.

 

“Discipline her.” Hux barked to a stormtrooper. The man had her staff and raised it above his head. Rey closed her eyes.

 

“STOP! Stop!” Rey looked around. Plutt was running towards her. Well, as much as his guards would let him. “She is valuable!”

 

“Valuable? She is a desert rat!” Hux sneered.

 

“She is of old blood. She… she's a Kenobi.”

 

Both Hux and Rey looked at the junkyard boss. Rey in confusion. Hux in astonishment.

 

“The Kenobi dynasty is dead. Everyone knows that.” Hux dismissed.

 

“Her parents left her in my charge. For a handsome price. It is what bought me this place.” Plutt stepped closer. “It's the truth.”

 

Kenobi. Her name was Kenobi? It sounded vaguely familiar. Like she had heard it somewhere before in an old story. But it didn't bring the sense of belonging she had always hoped.

 

Hux was looking at her with disbelief. “If you are lying Plutt-”

 

“I'm not. Not about this. I wouldn't. I'm in enough trouble as it is.”

 

Hux circled Rey, surveying her like a prize Nerf.

 

“You may have just made yourself a new deal.” Hux intoned. He looked at Plutt. “We clear the debt. In exchange for the girl.”

 

Rey snapped her head at Hux in disbelief. _What?_

 

Plutt looked momentarily stunned. “What do you want with her?”

 

“That's none of your concern.” Hux spat.

 

Plutt looked at Rey and Hux and back again.

 

“Very well. Take her.”

 

Rey had never wanted her staff back more. Just so she could fracture Plutt's skull.

 

Hux smiled. Yep, he looked worse when he smiled.

 

“I'll give you a moment.” He turned to the Stormtroopers. “Keep an eye on her.”

 

Fairly redundant command. Most of them were edging away from her encase she kicked as well as she fought with her stick.

 

Rey looked at Plutt.

 

“I'm disappointed Plutt. You didn't even haggle.”

 

“I had no choice. What was I to do? Let them stave your head in with your own staff?”

 

“You know the stories about these people...”

 

“Your name will protect you. It's what they want you for.”

 

“What does my name mean? Was my family important?”

 

“Important? Yeah, you could say that. There are many stories you haven't heard. But you will soon enough.”

 

“Time's up.” Rey turned to see the shiny stormtrooper looming over her. “You are to come with me.” She realised… Holy hell, she was a _woman_?

 

“I want my staff bought with us.” Rey declared. Something dangerously close to a scoff left the female leaders mouth before nodding her head at one of the men. He picked it up off the floor like you would pick up a disease.

 

Rey approached the gangway, looked back at the only home she had ever know one more time and climbed aboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you think guys? Let me know.


	3. Into the Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, just wow. Thank you guys so much. You are so sweet with your feedback and kudos. I appreciate it so much. 
> 
> In response to questions about the universe this is set in, the Force exists, Rey has it and the history is more or less unchanged. The only difference is the Skywalker family are the Royalty of the Galaxy and hold the most power. So Kylo Ren's status is similar to that in the film.
> 
> I've hurt my foot so I'm writing to fight pain and boredom. So here you go...

Rey looked all around her from her seat as the ship took off. It was a beautiful shuttle ship. Controls were immaculate. She tried to concentrate on the interior of her surroundings as she felt the presence of dozens of Stormtroopers watching her.

 

They hadn't put her in cuffs at least.

 

The trip was quite short. On a purely childish level, Rey was even a little excited. She had never left Jakku in fifteen long years and knew no other planets. She wondered what she heading towards.

 

The gangway was lowered as they touched down and Rey followed the shiny female stormtrooper and General Hux off the ship.

 

Rey suddenly wished she had a few more pairs of eyes. The landing bay where she had been bought to was enormous. Illuminated by bright lights and slate dark surfaces, the ships it housed were all the more impressive. TIE fighters stood every which way. She'd seen them before, had dismantled several, but they had been shot down, broken and rusted. _These_ were a scavengers dream.

 

Maybe if she was good, they would let her keep some engine pieces they didn't need.

 

General Hux and the female stormtrooper led her down several corridors. So many storm-troopers passed her. A few looked at her with intrigue.

 

She kept her eyes down. Men staring at her from behind a mask unnerved her.

 

She was taken to a small room. There was a bed and a basin and nothing else. It was clearly a cell but Rey had never slept in a proper bed before. She'd take what she could get.

 

“You will stay here until we come for you.” Hux announced as she looked around the cell. “You won't be harmed but we expect obedience. Anymore stunts like that one on Jakku will not be tolerated.”

 

Rey tilted her chin up. “I'll behave. I think you'll find you have my staff.”

 

Hux's nostrils flared and he turned out of the room. The female stormtrooper not far behind him.

 

The cell door closed. She was alone.

 

She walked to the bed and lay down upon it.

 

She was still afraid but she was mostly exhausted. Within moments, she was asleep.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

A perk of being a prisoner: they have to feed you.

 

Rey opened her eyes the next morning to a stormtrooper coming in with a tray. It was nothing special. Fruits common to the galaxy, a bread roll and a slab of nerf meat. The stormtrooper hadn't even put it on her bed before she was grabbing it and chewing it noisily. She didn't see the stormtrooper back out of the room quickly and she wouldn't have cared if she had.

 

The portions kept you alive but only just. To eat food, actual food, was incredible.

 

She almost felt prepared for whatever was coming next. Almost.

 

Rey was left alone in the cell for a long time. Once the novelty of a physical bed and food that wasn't originally powder had died down a bit, she began to feel a little restless. She had never had a day off that wasn't plagued with the worry of starving.

 

Now she had worries of the unknown.

 

With her back to the wall and her elbows on her knees, she sat on the bed and thought over everything she knew about these people. Piecing together every story she had heard about on Jakku, Rey contemplated the history of this world.

 

The First Order were a relatively new brand of enforcers for the Monarchy of the Galaxy. They seemed to have risen to prominence once again in the last five years. Rey vaguely remember them stalking through the Niima Outpost when she had been fourteen.

 

The Monarchy of the Galaxy was a complex affair. They had never had one ruler of the whole galaxy fifty years ago. They had been a ligand of politicians; a republic. Rulers were elected for each planet.

 

The last elected Queen had been Queen Amidala of Naboo. A good Queen. Strong, kind, just. She had made the mistake of marrying a Jedi. Not only were they not allowed to marry but a thirst for power and paranoia had driven him mad. He had killed her and bought the palace down around him in his rage.

 

They had found him burnt and broken and put him in a suit of darkness. He became more machine than man. But his power just seemed to grow in his grief and he took his late wife's throne without pause.

 

He had ruled with only the great Emperor Sidious being higher than himself. Twenty years of tyranny passed before Vader's fall.

 

Vader had a son and daughter. His son had even been present at his death. Some even said he caused it. His children had fought him for years and were loved by the Galaxy. The girl had been raised by a prince whose throne Vader had dissolved and taken for himself. The girl had taken the Galactic throne when her brother would not.

 

No-one called her a Queen. Not even a Princess anymore. They called her the General. She was like her mother in many ways. They looked alike apparently. Their methods of ruling were similar too.

 

The General had married unconventionally like her mother too. To a pirate. A hero though so exceptions were made. They had a child. And, for a while, all was well.

 

Which bought her to now where things were far from well.

 

The General didn't sit on the throne any longer. Her son did.

 

The man had a temper that made Vader pale in comparison. It was said he spent much of his time, when he wasn't travelling the Galaxy, at the old palace of Naboo. They say the place was starting to fall into ruins. Some corridors weren't safe to go down from his fits of rage apparently. He wore a blade of fire that was as unpredictable as him.

 

He wore a suit and mask like Vader. It was said no-one had ever seen his face.

 

The General had handed over her throne when her son came of age hoping the duty it presented would tame him. Bring him towards the Light. She had been wrong.

 

The power seemed to have driven him mad. Like his grandfather before him.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It was perhaps a day and a half before they came for her again.

 

The female stormtrooper was at the door of the cell.

 

“Come along, girl.” She ordered. “We mustn't keep him waiting.”

 

Rey didn't particularly care if Hux waited forever but followed her black cloak anyway.

 

She was bought to a room that had a long table and many chairs. Hux was standing at the head with two storm-troopers.

 

“Thank you Phasma.” He nodded to the female stormtrooper. “Please let him know we are ready.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Phasma replied crisply and sauntered off.

 

Rey turned to Hux.

 

“Am I going to finally find out what's happening?”  


“All will become clear, Miss Kenobi.” Rey sucked in a breath. She actually had a name at last.

 

Hux then smiled. It was completely humourless.

 

“You really don't know who you are, do you?”

 

“I know who I am.” Rey snapped. “I'm Rey. That's been good enough so far.”

 

“'Good enough' is not a term that will be used to describe your life from now on.”

 

Rey felt a tendril of fear grow inside her. She wasn't going to show it to this upstart though.

 

“Who is it that Phasma is going to get?”

 

Before he could answer (or sneer) the doors opened. Phasma returned with another person. At least Rey thought it was a person. If she had thought that Hux had been colourless, he was nothing compared to the shadow that strode into the room. From head to toe, all six towering feet of them, he was bathed in black. Not a single inch of flesh was on display. _Not one inch_. He wore a mask too although with a more intricate design than Phasma and the others.

 

His presence was immediate. Even Hux stood a little straighter. Everything about him was huge from his height to his width to his very self.

 

Rey may have been bought up amongst thieves and scum but she knew immediately who this was.

 

His Majesty, Lord Kylo Ren. The current ruler of the Galaxy.

 

Rey couldn't move an inch.

 

Ren looked at Hux and then looked at her. For a face that didn't have eyes, that she could see anyway, his stare was fathomless.

 

“Is there any reason you called me here to inspect a prisoner?”

 

His voice was deep and echoing, modified by some kind of device in his helmet.

 

“Lord Ren, this prisoner will be of great interest to you.” Hux was clearly savouring the moment. “She is a Kenobi.”

 

Ren's demeanour went from being irritatingly bored to riveted. His stare was back on Rey.

 

“You are sure?”

 

“The midi-chlorian scan was off the chart. There's no doubt.”

 

The mask stared right at her.

 

“Leave. All of you.”

 

Hux, the Stormtroopers and Phasma left immediately.

 

Rey tried to hold his gaze. There was a strange energy that exuded from him. More than a charisma, almost like his own personal signature. It circled her and seemed to hold her in place.

 

Ren slowly surveyed her. Circling her, his heavy boots the only noise in the room, it was a different sensation than when Hux had done it. The fact he had a good foot height difference on her didn't help ease her apprehension either. Everything about him made her feel smaller, almost fragile.

 

“A scavenger… your family really have gone down in the world, haven't they?”

 

The words were taunting but the voice was almost bored. They didn't sit well with Rey.

 

Lord Ren finished circling her and came to stand in front of her again.

 

“They say you don't know about your family. That you raised yourself amongst machines and sand.”

 

The energy felt like it was tightening around her.

 

“Did you… did you know my family?” Rey's voice was more hopeful than she would have liked.

 

“I know of them. My family… has a history with yours.” The energy around her suddenly felt oppressive. “It's almost impressive how in the dark that trader has kept you.”

 

Rey stood up straighter. “If I'm so ignorant why don't you enlighten me?” People's amusement at her expense was getting tiring.

 

The mask looked impassively at her. “You are descended from Jedis.”

 

Silence.

 

“I can't be.” Rey dismissed. “That's just a myth. Magic tricks and stories.”

 

“The Force is as real as you and me.” Ren declared. “Forget what they know on that junkyard planet. They don't know anything. How could they live alongside you and not sense it if they did?” Ren cocked his head so the mask almost looked coy.

 

Rey shock her head. “I would know. And I'm… I'm normal. I'm no-one.”

 

“We'll see.”

 

Suddenly she felt pressure at her temple. Like the beginnings of a stress headache but more potent. Rey looked at him in fear. What was he doing?

 

“I need to see. Don't be afraid. I will try not to hurt you.” Ren lifted a glove hand to her head and the pressure began again.

 

It was with disbelief that she realised that he was in her head. He could see everything. Every lonely moment, every fear, every challenge.

 

She could feel his footsteps in her brain, his assessing gaze, his judgement.

 

_He must be looking to see if I was really telling the truth._

 

“It's always best if I see for myself.” Ren intoned in response to her thought.

 

_No. Get out. You own the world but not this. Get OUT!_

 

Rey felt the pain stop and, at first, she thought he had simply listened. Then she saw images. Abandoned corridors. A court of faces. A palace that felt more like a prison.

 

It was only when she felt a jolt that felt like a push and she stumbled backwards to the ground that she realised. She'd gone into his mind by accident.

 

Rey gasped for breath as she took in the dark figure above her. The energy was crackling all around him. He was angry. Afraid.

 

There was every chance she may die for that. She'd heard the stories. It wouldn't be out of character. If he tried to, she would fight back. She owed that to herself at least. Even if it wasn't a fair fight.

 

Instead, Ren took several steps back.

 

“This isn't over.”

 

Then he turned and stormed from the room, leaving her on the ground shaken and stunned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know guys. It's how I learn.


	4. A Misunderstood Intention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this Archive so much. The feedback I get is so wonderful and I appreciate every single piece.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, comments and bookmarks.
> 
> Things start to ramp up a bit in this chapter and we see what Ren, Hux and the First Order really want with Rey.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey was taken back to her cell by Phasma. The towering female warrior said nothing to her on the way back to her room. It seemed that not a lot flustered the Captain. It was probably what got her the job. Anyone who kept calm under pressure would go far in the First Order.

 

While Phasma had seemed relatively unconcerned about why the figurehead of the Galaxy had stormed past them all away from Rey, Hux was certainly not.

 

“What did you do?” He'd spat at Rey as soon as he got into the room, clearly unconcerned as to how she ended up on the floor. She'd just shook her head. How could she begin to explain?

 

Rey had lain down on her comforter on the bed and tried to steady her breathing and trembling. If that had been meant to make everything clear to her, they may want to rethink their technique. She now had more questions than she had ever had in her life.

 

She'd been in his mind. She had actually stepped into his brain. She hadn't meant to, it had been a complete accident, all she had wanted was for him to get out of her head.

 

Rey remembered the feeling of fear.

 

_Isolation. Anger. A life dedicated to striving for more. To be more decisive. Sterner. Stronger._

 

_No one can get close. No one must see. No one must see..._

 

See what? She hadn't got that far before being thrown out.

 

She had the Force. _The Force_.

 

They had run tests behind her back. She had felt Ren's signature touch her. By some miracle, she had overpowered him for a moment. If she concentrated, closed her eyes and cleared her mind, she could still feel it crackling beneath her skin like a live wire.

 

To know she had the same level of power as the despot of the galaxy felt both staggering and terrifying.

 

But still her mind kept returning to the initial question: why did they want her?

 

There must be other people in the galaxy with the Force. People without the permanent embedding of sand on their skin and rough hands from ripping apart ships no one would want. Better people to train.

 

A sinking feeling started to wash through her like ice water. What if they had got hold of her… to kill her?

 

From what she did know was that when she asked Lord Ren about whether he knew her family the air had turned hostile. If he had known them, they may not have been friends. Maybe enemies?

 

Her parents never came back for her. It was a fair certainty that they were dead. Were the First Order the cause they were trying to hide her from? Had they caught up with them? And were they now going to finish the job with her?

 

She had to get out. Fast.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Rey forced herself to sit calmly and quietly when she heard the code being punched into the lock outside. She had spent the day trying to find something to fashion a weapon or trying to spot any loose panels around the cell that might show wires that could override the cell doors. It became clear that the First Order didn't take those kind of risks with prisoners anymore.

 

There was only one other option.

 

It was a risk but if it worked…

 

Rey watched as a Stormtrooper silently came into the room with a tray of food for her. She felt a flash of regret that she wouldn't have time to eat it.

 

The tray was sat on her bed and the guard went to turn away when she spoke.

 

“You will hand me your weapon and leave this cell with the door open.”

 

The Stormtrooper stopped and looked at her.

 

“What did you say?” The voice was harsh, biting, tinged with disgust.

 

Rey kept her face impassive. “You will hand me your weapon and leave this cell with the door open.”

 

The Stormtrooper stepped closer to her. “You will know your place. Scavenger whore.”

 

Rey tamped down her anger.

 

_Focus. Clear your mind like before. You have to get out._

 

Looking into the masked face, she raised her head.

 

“You will hand me your weapon and leave this cell with the door open.”

 

A pause.

 

“I will hand you my weapon and leave this cell with the door open.”

 

The Stormtrooper calmly took his gun off his hip and handed it to Rey. Placing it in her hand, he turned and opened the door, walking away without closing it.

 

Stunned and exhilarated, she clutched the weapon close and bolted out the door.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

Rey huddled in corners as she dashed down corridors. There were always panels to hide behind and hidden holes to jump into at a moments notice.

 

She crouched down into a crevice in a wall to breathe properly and think over her options. The adrenaline was thrumming through her body. She couldn't believe she had done it but there wasn't time to bask in glory.

 

She had to get off the ship. There were hundreds of TIE fighters and other ships in the landing bay. They wouldn't miss one. Well, they might but she could live with that if it meant she could get away. She'd never flown a ship but she knew every control and trick that TIE fighters had. And she had always wanted to fly one. They could really move apparently.

 

She couldn't go back to Jakku. There was nothing there for her and they would probably check there first. She would go to a nearby planet to refuel and take it from there. She could maybe find an island in the middle of an ocean. Live completely alone. She knew all about living alone.

 

Rey was about to climb out of her hiding place when she heard voices. Folding herself even smaller, she listened. And felt her stomach drop as a familiar eternally-bitter voice filled her ears.

 

“She is undoubtedly a Kenobi. That little display in the room surely proves it. I would have thought you would find it encouraging!”

 

“And her fear pulses from her. She could prove a liability” The deep echoing voice of Ren responded. Rey shrunk down as low as she could go.

 

“You are not the most relaxing of presences to be around.” Hux dismissed.

 

“What you are suggesting is ridiculous.” Ren growled.

 

“And what you are suggesting is to do nothing. A complete waste of an opportunity!”

 

Despite her unbridled dislike for the man, Rey couldn't help but be slightly impressed by Hux's ability to hold his own in front of the most terrifying man in the galaxy. Say what you will: he had balls.

 

“She is a girl. Practically still a child.” Ren countered.

 

“Hardly. She is at her eighteenth year at least. Old enough. And, let's be honest, what other option is there?”

 

“You know the barriers that stand in our way, General.” There was a hint of warning in his tone. Like Ren was daring Hux to contradict him.

 

“There were barriers in your grandfather's way as well. That never seemed to hinder him.”

 

A silence. Rey daren't breathe.

 

“It is your best chance, Ren. And so she should be. She has by extension cost me three-hundred credits by clearing that damn debt!”

 

The footsteps passed and faded. Rey waited a full ten seconds before moving again. She needed to get the hanger – now!

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

She got about two corridors away from the hanger before it all went to hell.

 

She had managed to avoid detection by using her scavenger techniques of climbing down the walls of a pit to get to the lower levels. She spotted a lone ship on the way down. She could nearly taste freedom.

 

Her method of hiding in gaps in the walls worked well enough up to a point. But the problem is you can't see around corners without exposing yourself to the spot you can't see.

 

And when a Force-sensitive dark figure is waiting for you there really isn't much of a way to come back from that.

 

Panicked, Rey shot blindly at Ren. His next move stunned her. With a lift of his hand, he froze the bolt in mid-air. And by extension, froze her as well.

 

With a calmness that made her shake despite the restraints, Kylo Ren walked around the bolt that still stood perfectly in mid-air and came up close to her. The mask covered his face but he was undoubtedly angry.

 

“You really don't make this easy on yourself, do you?”

 

Rey's eyes welled with tears. Frustration at getting so close to her escape and fear at the inevitable punishment she would face. Still, she tried to wriggle free to no avail. He stood directly in front of her. He was so tall. He eventually walked to the side of her.

 

“I will clearly have to keep an eye on you myself.”

 

And, with a flick of his wrist, everything went dark.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

Rey's eyes opened abruptly. She looked around her. She was lying on a black couch in a room that seemed a little more domestic than the rest of the ship. With a sinking feeling, she remembered what happened. And looked to the side to find Kylo Ren kneeling and watching her.

 

With a gulp, she sat up a little.

 

“Where am I?”

 

“You clearly can't be trusted with standard security.” His voice replied. He sounded surprisingly calm. “So I have bought you to my chambers. You will be my guest.”

 

Rey looked around. The room did seem a bit more decadent than the others but not by much. It looked like the room of a General. Not the man who was, for all intents and purposes, King. It all seemed sterile.

 

There was the couch that Rey was lain on, two matching chairs on either side not far from her to give a semblance of a living area, and a large dining table with two chairs on the other side of the room. One of the walls was made completely of glass and, had the circumstances been different, she would have wanted to go up to the glass and see the stars up close. There was a door in the corner which probably led to his bedroom. Rey felt a rush of relief that he had not lain her on his bed.

 

She turned and looked at him again.

 

“I'm impressed.” He spoke softly. “For a girl who had no idea how the Force worked not a day ago you are quite adapt at mind control.”

 

Rey sighed. She suddenly felt so tired.

 

“Can you just get it over with?” She asked.

 

“And what would that be?” Ren asked.

 

“Just kill me already. I'm sick of waiting.” Rey stared at the masked figure. God, she hated that thing. Was he even a humanoid? “I heard you and Hux talking. Discussing me. About how there was no other choice. I take that means I have to die or you have something even worse planned for me? Why not put that saber to good use and do us both a favour? I promise I won't scream.”

 

The silence echoed in the rather bare chambers.

 

“You think I want to kill you?”

 

Rey gritted her teeth. She wouldn't cry. She was stronger than that.

 

“I have no intention of harming you.” The tone brokered no argument. Rey looked at Ren. The mask stared back. “You think I'm lying.” Again, not a question.

 

“Then what do you want with me?” Her voice was weaker than she could bare.

 

“I have a proposal. One that will need to be discussed openly. You will be hungry, no doubt. Your appetite is famous amongst the crew.”

 

Ren stood and walked away from her. Rey watched him punch a code into the wall. Not a minute later, a droid entered with a tray. It placed it on the table and left without a word. Ren walked back to where Rey was still sprawled on the couch.

 

“Come. Eat. You need your strength.”

 

Rey got to her feet slowly, careful not to show any signs of needing help. The last thing she needed was for him to offer a hand in support.

 

Sitting down carefully and eyeing the food, Rey looked at Ren. He sat himself in the chair at the head of the table.

 

“Eat.” It was more of a command this time.

 

With a sigh, she picked up a bread roll and started to pick it apart. She made a conscious effort to not be so noisy with her chewing this time.

 

Ren didn't touch a single piece of the food. Not that he could with that contraption on his head.

 

When she had eaten enough to satisfy them both, Ren started talking.

 

“You are not in danger from me. I mean you no harm. Your power surprised me yesterday but I should not have underestimated you. The Force runs strong in your family.”

 

“Your family and mine were enemies, weren't they?” Rey thought she better get her answers.

 

“They were friends once. And then they weren't. They went from brothers to enemies.”

 

“What is this proposal you speak of? What does Hux think I can do?”

 

Ren leant forward, resting his arms on the table. Rey couldn't help but lean back.

 

“I am in a position where I am now in my thirtieth year. And I have responsibilities that can no longer be ignored. Hux finding you has given him an idea as to how we can both be a use to one another and ensure the best possible outcome for my empire. Your family history makes you a good option for me. And it would ensure you the best possible life.”

 

“And what is this idea?”

 

“That you return to Naboo with me. As my wife-to-be.”

 


	5. A Deal Is Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you promise you will do something productive with your day off but just sitting in your pyjamas, eat pizza, watch Star Wars and write. Oh, what a perfect day.
> 
> On the other hand: OMG! Who has seen the new Beauty and the Beast trailer??? I can't tell you how excited I am. It's my favourite story of all time. 
> 
> Here's my latest chapter of my version. Thank you all for your wonderful support.

Rey likened it to passing out from heat-exhaustion. A ringing in the ears, tunnel vision, an undeniable need for a drink. Tip for survival: know exactly what's going on around you.

 

“You… want to marry me?”

 

This opened the question wide open for him to either laugh at a superbly played if slightly on-the-nose joke or recoil at her misunderstanding.

 

Instead the masked figure simply replied, “Yes.”

 

Rey would remember it always. The first moment in her adult life where there was food in front of her that she had absolutely no appetite to eat.

 

Her open-mouth and rapidly blinking eyes may have given away her astonishment but Ren remained silent, clearly not in the mood to help her along.

 

“Why?” Rey cried. Let's get to the point.

 

“It makes sense.”

 

“To who? And don't say Hux.”

 

“You may have only had possession of it for a day but your name is popular with the Galaxy even now. It will inspire loyalty. Deference. Respect. And, if I _must_ have a Queen, I want one who doesn't have to cling to my coattails.”

 

Rey was shaking her head. To illiterate the ridiculousness of it all and to hopefully shake her awake. “You've known me for less than two days!”

 

“Would it help if you had known me any longer? You, who seemed to be under the impression that I had plans to impale you on my saber?” There was a hint of mockery in Ren's mechanical voice.

 

This was officially the worst marriage proposal in galactic history.

 

“If I'm so stupid, I don't see why you would want me as a wife. You… you don't even like me!”

 

“Like has little to do with it.” Ren dismissed. “We don't have to like each other. We just have to work together. Running an empire is a lot of work.”

 

“'Like has…' Of course, like has something to do with it!” Rey got to her feet. All her previous fear of this man was evaporating in place of her indignation. “I would be your wife! You would be my husband. And I don't know even know what you look like!”

 

“I hadn't counted on a scavenger being so shallow.” The mockery again. Just what the galaxy needed: a despot with anger management issues and a tendency for sarcasm.

 

“Oh, I'm a scavenger now. Two minutes ago, I thought I was a Queen-in-waiting.” Rey sat down again.

 

“If you are worried about what lies beneath this helmet, don't. You will never see it.” Ren's stare pinned her to her seat. There was no room for any kind of argument.

 

“So I wouldn't even get to look into the eyes of who I am marrying?”

 

“You are looking into my eyes. They just happen to be behind this visor.” Rey didn't have any comeback for that. Ren stood and began to walk around the table. “Would you rather I lie to you? Declare that the moment I saw you with dirt and sand embedded in your face and wearing a dress of rags that I had to make you mine? Would that make it better or worse for you? You clearly feel no affection for me either.”

 

Rey didn't say anything. She had no illusions. She had doubted she would ever marry at all. Love had no place on Jakku. It was trust that she couldn't afford to give. Trusting another person not to betray her, not to steal her portions and her meagre possessions and disappear into the night, trusting them not to leave. She had always thought it would have to be a pretty extraordinary love that would coax her out of her shell.

 

She never thought it would be like this.

 

“I could give you everything you want. Food, shelter, clothing, money. Nothing would be too good for you. You'd never know hunger again. You could train your Force abilities. You would matter. Even if I can't offer you much else, I've seen enough in your head to know that you want to matter.”

 

Rey was grinding her teeth. “What would be expected from me?”

 

“I expect loyalty. Fidelity. Support. Other than that, not very much.”

 

“I know nothing about running a planet.”

 

“You wouldn't be running anything.” Ren snapped. As though the very idea was absurd. It probably was but Rey wasn't going to just sit quietly.

 

“So what is the point of me even being there at all?” Rey snapped. “You've made it clear you don't actually want to be married. You'd rather be alone. So why bother? And with me no less.”

 

“It's my duty to continue the Skywalker line.”

 

Rey suddenly felt dizzy. She knew that was a part of marriage but…

 

Ren scoffed beneath his helmet. “Don't look so frightened. I don't require a progeny straight away. You are still very young. That can come in time. Probably a few years yet. But you may as well know what's expected. Who knows? You may even come to like my mask by then.”

 

Rey felt cold. Not only was she signing up to marry a man with a reputation as dark as his clothes and taking on his dynasty but now it look more likely that she would have to lie down with him with the mask still on.

 

“It still begs the question: why me? Surely you can have other women bare your children?”

 

“Other women don't have a force signature as strong as you. My children by you would be unstoppable. The greatest rulers the Galaxy has ever seen.”

 

There was a sound of awe in Ren's voice at just the idea of it. Rey wasn't feeling the wash of maternal earning herself.

 

“You say this is a proposal but it's really a command. I don't have any say anyway, do I?”

 

“You do.” Ren replied sounding calm. Like he foresaw her reluctance. “I'm not up to the challenge of dragging you to the alter by your hair.”

 

“So what happens if I say, 'No'?”

 

Ren cocked his head to the side to look at her. “Then I return you from where you came from. You can go back to Jakku. Back to your wrecks. Back to the life you've lived for years. All as it was before.”

 

Rey looked away from his disarming stare and swallowed. Somehow he made what other's would see as a get-out clause sound like a punishment. And it would be. Regardless of the prospect in front of her looking dire, going back was as far removed now as could be.

 

Her family weren't coming back. There was nothing left for her.

 

Taking a shaky breath, she forced herself to look at Ren.

 

“May I ask a compromise?” Rey breathed.

 

Ren was silent.

 

“If I come to Naboo and I don't cause trouble… could I have some time? A trial, if you like. You can tell people we're engaged but engagements can be broken. And it gives us a chance to see. For me to see if I can do this and for you to see if I can as well.”

 

“How long?”

 

“A month should suffice. We'll both know by then surely.”

 

Another silence.

 

“Please. Give me this at least.”

 

Ren continued to stare at Rey. Then finally: “Very well. One month. Until then you are to travel with me to the palace of Naboo. You will present yourself to my court. And you will act the part of my bride-to-be.”

 

Rey closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. “Okay, deal.”

 

Ren nodded. “Good. That's settled then.” He walked around the table. “Come with me.”

 

Rey stood up in something of a trance and followed him out of his chambers.

 

She followed him down a corridor to another set of doors. She noticed as she walked behind that he tended to stalk everywhere. Like he was marching to battle in everything he did.

 

He punched a code into the wall and the doors opened.

 

The room was a smaller version of Ren's own. Clearly meant for guests.

 

“This will be your room until we arrive. If you need anything, you are to press the button on the wall and someone will come. Don't try and escape this time. My quarters are just down the hall. I'll be able to sense it straight away. And I won't be quite as calm next time.”

 

Rey said nothing. She stood there until she heard the door close.

 

She slowly padded to a closed door in the corner. It revealed a large bed with black bedding, a desk and a wardrobe that seemed to take up the whole of one wall. There was also a door beside her bed that led into another room.

 

In any other circumstances, Rey would be rifling around, looking at all the new things she had freedom to play with or even trying to fashion another weapon. These weren't normal circumstances.

 

Lowering herself slowly onto the bed, she tried to get her head around what had just happened. She was trapped in a trial-engagement with the Sovereign of the Galaxy and was now sitting in chambers more suited to a senator or chancellor.

 

She had every worldly comfort at her fingers. Everything that she had ever needed to survive.

 

She had never felt less comforted.

 

He had not been unkind to her so far but that could all change. His temper was famous. She didn't trust him. His attempts of being conciliatory had made her more uneasy than if he'd ignite the sword at his hip.

 

Stroking a hand over the bedding, a gasp stole from her that was the beginning of a wave of emotion. Ren seemed in no hurry to reveal his face to her. Seemed to be under the impression that she would never see it if he had his way.

 

How was she meant to be married and give children to a man she didn't even know without his regalia?

 

A longing crashed over her for someone to talk to. For the mother she couldn't remember. For a gentle touch, a hand stroking through her hair, a whisper that it was all going to be okay. Even just a smell, like a perfume, associated with love.

 

She had nothing except a bedding that had never been slept in. She hadn't had love for such a long time she probably would recognise its smell anyway.

 

Letting the loneliness and misery take her, she lay down on the bed and cried softly into the pillows until there was nothing left to do but sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Hux paced backwards and forwards in the control room. Phasma was watching him.

 

“You should stop pacing General.” Her perpetually bored voice advised. “You're wearing marks on the floor.”

 

“How am I meant to stop?” Hux snapped, still striding backwards and forward, “They've been in there for about two hours. And that's even if she's come around yet! That girl is harder to keep track of than Ren's temper!”

 

“He stopped her escaping. He will keep an eye on her from now on. If anything, your duties have been lightened.” Phasma countered.

 

Hux went to snap that his duties wouldn't be lightened until someone finally carried him out of here in a ceramic pot when Kylo Ren emerged. The other workers kept their head down. Avoiding eye contact was a good method of survival.

 

“It's done.” Ren announced. “We have reached an agreement.”

 

Hux thought he might fall over in shock.

 

“She has agreed?”

 

“Of sorts. She needs a little time to get her head around it but she will comply. She will come to Naboo as my betrothed.”

 

“Well then,” Phasma nodded, “all is well.”

 

“What if she's just buying time for herself to escape?” Hux demanded.

 

“Escape where?” Ren dismissed. “She has no family, no future. There is nothing for her to go back to Jakku for.”

 

“That didn't stop her before.”

 

“She seemed to be under the impression that we meant to kill her.” Ren explained walking to the window of the control room and looking out at the stars.

 

“What of her powers?” Phasma asked.

 

“She will need training but she shows potential. It would not do to waste it. Once I get her back to the palace, we can begin.”

 

“We should send word back home to expect another guest. The announcement of a Kenobi descendant should be met with enthusiasm.” Hux felt the stirrings of pride begin. This could do much for his status within the First Order.

 

Hux didn't notice when Kylo Ren didn't participate further in the conversation and let the plans go on around him.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey woke slowly and reluctantly. She had woken up several times in the night not knowing where she was. The bed was soft and comfy but she may as well had been trying to sleep on a rock.

 

Turning over in bed, she opened her eyes with the intention of facing whatever the hell today was going to throw at her when she came face-to-face with the latest: a gold face staring at her.

 

Leaping into a sitting position and letting out a scream, Rey sprang away. It seemed to have given the thing staring at her a shock too as he seemed to recoil back as well.

 

“Oh dear, dear me!” It cried out. It had a strange, oddly camp voice.

 

Gasping, Rey pulled the covers up to her chest. “Who are you?” She demanded. Upon closer inspection, she could see its entire body was gold and it looked like a service droid.

 

“Oh. My. Do forgive me. I am C3P0, human cyborg relations. How may I serve you?”

 

“Okay, C3P0 Human Cyborg Relations, what are you doing in my room?”

 

“I have been sent here by Master Kylo Ren to be of service to you. I am here for anything that you need.”

 

Rey's eyes widen. She had a droid now?

 

“Um… I don't know what to ask for?”

 

“Would you like to have a bath, Mistress?”

 

Rey sat up a little. “A bath? You have baths?”

 

“Oh, yes mistress. There are currently 2348 baths on-board the ship. Yours is just through there.” The droid stiffly pointed to the door by her bed.

 

Rey threw the covers off and dashed to the door. Looking inside, she saw black slate everywhere. There was a huge walk-in shower, toilet, sink basin, mirrors and an enormous bath in the middle of the room. Rey had never had a fresher of her own, being forced to use the communal showers at the Niima Outpost once a week.

 

“I have been instructed to take your clothes and destroy them. I will choose a new outfit for you from the wardrobe, Mistress.” C3P0 announced.

 

Rey whipped around. “Why do my clothes need to be destroyed?”

 

“Master Ren's orders, Mistress. He explained that he would not use them to clean dirt of his boots so he does not believe they are suitable to wear.”

 

Rey took a deep breath with her fists clenched. Yes, the dress and her bindings were old, dirty and worn but they were hers. And she'd been taught to protect what was hers.

 

“Did Master Ren exactly say to destroy them even if they can be fixed?”

 

“Oh. Um.” The droid was clearly trying to think. “I do not recall him putting conditions.”

 

“Right. Well, how about rather than destroy them, we wash them and see if they can be fixed?”

 

Well, they said marriage was all about compromises.

 

“Oh. Very well Mistress. Please leave them on the floor and I will collect them when you are finished.” With that, the droid waddled out, leaving her alone.

 

Rey dashed to the bathtub and, with reverence, pressed a button. Fresh clean water gushed from a tap in the centre of the bath. Rey stuck her hand out in awe to feel it cascade through her fingers. She then pressed another button and the water turned warmer by the second. Standing up, she began to take off her clothes.

 

There were soaps and little bottles along the sides which Rey picked up and examined. When she opened them, they all smelt of different scents. Rey couldn't decided which one she wanted to use so just grabbed them and threw them all in.

 

Sinking into the hot, sweet-smelling water was one of the favourite moments of Rey's life. She let out a gasp of joy to feel her tired muscles soothed. The liquid in the bottles had created bubbles and she giggled as she scooped some up in her hands and blew so they floated in the air for a moment. She rubbed special soap into her hair and felt like she had lost three layers just from scrubbing off the dirt.

 

For ten minutes, Rey forgot about where she was going. Forgot about the promise. Forgot about Kylo Ren and his dark mask. She was just a girl in a bath and it felt good.

 

Eventually there was a timid knock on the door.

 

“Excuse me Mistress.” C3P0's voice called. “Are you alright? You have been in there some time.”

 

“I'm fine.” She called back but started to push herself up. The water was getting cold and she needed to face the world eventually. She would have another one tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after. She would spend all her spare time in the bath, she decided with glee.

 

Wrapping a bathrobe around her chilled body, she opened the door and handed C3P0 her old clothes.

 

“Please look after them. They are all I have.”

 

“Of course Mistress.”

 

There was a change of clothes on the bed. A tunic, a type of waistcoat and soft trousers. Rey ran her hands over them. They looked like a smarter, well made version of her old clothes. Maybe this droid wouldn't be so bad to have around.

 

Picking up her new clothes, she stepped back into the fresher and got to work transforming herself.


	6. Adaptation and Contemplation

Days upon The Finalizer passed without incident for Rey. She made no further attempts to escape the ship and Hux had tightened security around every shuttle with a functioning engine anyway.

 

Rey found herself encountered with a new problem: boredom.

 

Rey wasn't meant to sit still and be quiet. She had survived her entire life climbing around wrecks that were in danger of collapsing on top of her or risking slicing important limbs from sharp metal shrapnel when climbing for a particularly promising area. All in a days work for her and all with the promise of the ultimate reward: food.

 

Now the threat of hunger had evaporated like a puddle and she found herself being sent more food than she knew what to do with. She had actually thrown up once from eating another portion of a stew that had tasted particularly good. C3P0 explained that, as Mistress had spent her life eating the bare minimum, her body was not used to substantial food and an extra plate had the potential of making her very ill.

 

Rey had accepted the glass of water he had waddled off to get her and said nothing.

 

This had left her at something of a loss. She now had the freedom to sit down and not worry. She had every comfort a button away. She hated it.

 

C3P0 was proving something of a problem too. The gold droid was nothing but personable and was actually the friendliest interaction she had had since she'd boarded the ship. His constant questions of whether Mistress needed anything however were beginning to drive her mad. She also wasn't used to constant company and had started sending C3P0 on jobs that didn't actually need doing just so she could have five minutes uninterrupted peace.

 

Rey soon developed new techniques for keeping herself busy. She took apart appliances in the kitchen and pocketed anything she thought might come in handy. She collected anything that wasn't instantly perishable from the dinner table and hid it in her bedside drawer. Maybe she was paranoid but Rey couldn't shake off a lifelong fear that her food would be stolen out of her mouth just like that. C3P0 didn't quite understand why Mistress was keeping stale bread and fruit but he didn't question it too much. Maybe he was coming to the conclusion that she was a little odd.

 

She made a grand ritual of washing herself every day. She discovered that she was very fond of the walk-in fresher as well. This one didn't dribble cold water and didn't have to be shared with the other women of the Niima Outpost. C3P0 kept trying to get her to change her clothes every day which for Rey was ridiculous. Her new outfit suited her and she had hardly done anything that would warrant even a hint of dirt to sully it. C3P0 had also shown her images of some of the fashions that the Queens of Naboo were known to wear. Rey had actually laughed out loud. If Kylo Ren thought she was going to put on white face paint and wear a gown that looked like it weighed more than him, he was in for a bit of a shock.

 

Something else Rey started doing was give up trying to sleep in the bed. It was too big for one person and it provoked her to feel lonelier than she was already.

 

Instead, she took the blankets and pillow and lay them out on the floor of the living area. She also had an enormous window that reached floor to ceiling and gave her a most wonderful view of the stars. She lay out her blankets right next to the glass and would lie on the floor, watching stars soar across the sky. It gave her a strange sense of safety and wonder in a world that she was barely recognised.

 

Circumstances change, the stars live on.

 

It helped her get a few hours sleep at least.

 

It also proved somewhat embarrassing when Kylo Ren visited her chambers for the first time in three days and saw her blankets on the floor.

 

She had seen surprisingly little of her...fiancé since he had left her alone in her rooms. She had half expected to see him stalking in and out of her rooms every half an hour. So, when he arrived late one night as she had settled down on her blankets by the window, it caught her off guard.

 

He looked as she remembered: same all black outfit. Helmet still in place.

 

She stood up as her only means of greeting. It felt like how a soldier greeted a captain. With deference and fear.

 

“Can I ask why you are sleeping on the floor?” He didn't sound angry at least. Just confused and interested.

 

“I like being by the stars.”

 

Ren said nothing. Didn't move an inch. God, she hated that mask. Not only was it creepy but it robbed her of her chance of reading his mood. He could be smiling ecstatically and she wouldn't have a clue.

 

“I see you have made use of the fresher. I can actually see the face underneath the dirt now.”

 

“It must be nice to see a face that's been hidden.” Rey snapped before she could stop herself.

 

“Yes, it is.” His response was clipped. Rey said nothing for fear of driving him from irritation to rage. “I am here to inform you that we will be landing in Naboo in the morning. We will be taken straight to the palace.”

 

Rey couldn't do anything but nod. So this was really happening.

 

Ren had turned away before Rey spoke again.

 

“Am I to be confined to one room there as well?”

 

Ren stopped, his back still to her. His head turned slightly to the side.

 

“No. The palace will be your home. You will be allowed to go where you please. But you are not to leave the grounds or enter my own private part of the palace.”

 

“Which part is yours?”

 

“The North sector of the palace. You are not to ever go in there, do you understand? Ever.”

 

This was the Kylo Ren she had heard about. The dark energy and repressed rage made her step back. He didn't turn back or come near her though. He was out the door before her back hit the glass of the window.

 

* * *

 

He rarely turned the lights on in his chambers. It was a similar story at the palace. The darkness was where he belonged.

 

Ren sat down on his bed and thought over the past week. When he had started this journey, the only objective had been to visit the planets harder to reach to check his reign was being adhered to and snuff out rebels. Now he was returning home with the intention of being a married man in a month.

 

The girl. Rey they said her name was. And wasn't that just fantastic to marry a woman whose first name was just hearsay to him.

 

Her first name was of little matter really. Her second name meant everything.

 

There had been an understanding for many years that the Kenobis had died out. Her parents were believed to have died running from old followers of Vader. There had been rumours for years that a child had been born to them but no news as to whether she had been with them when they had been captured.

 

To not only find her, alive, fully grown and with her force signature awakening rapidly was staggering. And too good an opportunity to miss. No matter what his reservations were. Dislike it he may, even Ren had to admit on this occasion Hux had a solid argument.

 

The girl was young. Very young. Still had a touch of innocence and wonder in her eyes although she was by no means soft. She was smaller than him and thin from years of fighting for survival. Yet even Ren could see when she had first been bought to his attention that there was potential.

 

She was certainly pretty. Maybe some would call her beautiful.

 

Her fear was expected. Her utter contempt for his mask was surprisingly potent. She believed he wore it to look imposing.

 

He wasn't going to correct her.

 

If she had any idea of what exactly Ren was forced to do just to walk amongst others…

 

Ren got to his feet and found himself striding into his fresher. Closing the door and triple-checking it was locked, he walked to the mirror and pressed the releases on the side of his mask.

 

Lifted it off. Look at what was underneath.

 

Nothing extraordinary. Nothing special.

 

She still couldn’t be allowed to see.

 

Ren dropped the mask to the floor and let his forehead rest against the mirror. Breath steaming the glass, he allowed himself the cold sensation of a touch on his skin.

 

He stayed like that for fifteen minutes not ready to pull away from the embrace of an object that only reflected misery.

 

* * *

 

Rey packed lightly. She packed some clothes that were comfortable and her own understated style, her stash of food and electrics and her old, washed and mended dress and bindings.

 

Lord Ren came to collect her from her rooms half an hour before they were due to land in Naboo. His presence was enough to stop even C3P0's constant chatter.

 

“Come with me. We are flying over the city shortly. We need to be ready to enter the palace.”

 

“Will I just see the palace?” Rey asked.

 

“You should get a good look at Naboo as we descend.”

 

Rey followed Lord Ren towards the control room of the ship. Hux and Phasma were present as where other commanders in control of the ships movements. Men and women dressed entirely in black just like Hux and all wearing the same pinched, hardened look on their faces. A life of striving to beat the universe into submission and teaching people their rightful place. Rey hated them more than she had ever done Hux or Ren.

 

Hux started talking to Ren about diagnostics and landing parties and other things Rey wasn't interested in. She saw that they had entered a new atmosphere and were approaching a planet. It was the colour of a mottled blue. Rey slowly walked away from Ren's side and approached the glass of the window at the front of the control ship.

 

She watched as the planet's shape became less prominent as they approached and she started the catch sight of land and water. Soon they were close enough that they were only a few miles above the ground. They flew over green fields, rolling hills and seas with untold creatures. Rey could only stare in wide eyed amazement. So much lustre in the landscape she had never seen. She did not notice Hux keeping an accusatory eye on her or Ren's watchful gaze on her delighted eyes.

 

Maybe she would like life on this planet after all.

 

The main city of Theed was astonishing. Structures, halls and grand houses made of stone and marble met her eye. The colours seemed to be dominated by beige and brown for all the stone and blue for the glass domes that seemed to decorate the roofs of all she could see. The whole city stood above an enormous waterfall. Rey's nose was practically up against the glass in order to see as much as she could.

 

The palace was the largest structure in the whole city. A huge spherical building, its outside were decorated with pillars, stone statues and ancient carved marble. Rey could not see many windows and there seemed to be an element of elegant disrepair about it. The ship flew over the palace and entered into the main hanger.

 

Ren led her from the docking station and out onto a courtyard. It was large and intricately carved with ivy growing up the walls and stained glass in some of the windows she could see. Rey found herself ignoring the Stormtroopers that they passed in favour of looking all around her. The sun shone down on them and bounced off Ren's helmeted head. It felt almost satirical that he should chose to live in a place of such beauty when he seemed to relish being a figure of fear.

 

She wanted to see everything this place offered..

 

Hallways of gleaming marble and staircases of dusty stone were passed and climbed before they came to the main hallway of the palace. Rey looked up at the ceiling which was so far away that she felt her neck protest at tipping her head that far back. There were elements of decay about this place that couldn't be hidden.

 

A group of people were waiting for them in the hallway. People, not Stormtroopers.

 

At the forefront was a tiny creature at least half Rey's size. Skin the colour of orange and wrinkled like a prune, she wore clothing that almost resembled overalls and goggle-like spectacles that looked like she was about to go pod-racing. She was the first to step forward to great the sinister Master of the Palace.

 

“You were gone longer than I expected.” Her voice had an air of worldliness and wisdom. “I was expecting you back a month ago.”

 

“Plans change.” Ren's tone was clipped.

 

“Yes, I can see that.” The tiny woman looked around Ren to look at Rey. Rey didn't know what to do or say so looked at the ground instead.

 

Ren turned back to Rey to address her. “This is Maz Katana. She is in charge of the palace in my absence.”

 

“A glorified housekeeper.” Maz pitched in wryly. Ren turned and looked down at her. If she was half Rey's height, the difference between Ren and Maz was comical. Maz paid him no heed as she approached Rey. “They tell me you are to be the new mistress of this place. What's your name, child?”

 

“Rey.”

 

“A Kenobi they say.” Maz reached up and started to play with the massive goggles covering her eyes. They widen and emphasised her eyes until they were as big as the lenses. She peered closely at Rey with no hint of subtlety before nodding. “Ah yes. You take after him. Your grandfather. Very much so.”

 

Maz looked to Ren. Ren stared back. “You may take her to her quarters and settle her in.”

 

“She is not staying with you then?” Maz asked. Rey watched this exchange with wide eyes. She got the feeling that Maz could say things that no-one else dared. It made Rey like her even more.

 

“She will have her own rooms. She knows not to come near mine. I leave the rest to you.” And with a turn of the heel, he disappeared down a corridor with the Stormtroopers flanking him all the way.

 

Rey was left with Maz. The little woman took Rey by the hand.

 

“Come along I will show you where you are to stay.”

 

“How did you end up in charge of this place?” Rey asked as they walked in the opposite direction.

 

“He blew up my palace. So he gave me this one to play with. Not the same as having your own of course but I appreciate the effort.”

 

Rey could only follow Maz in stunned silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A good song for Kylo's POV is Nighty Night by Louise Dowe.
> 
> This is more of a filler chapter for me. I tried to make it as entertaining as possible but its always hard for these type of chapters. More details of the curse will come clear in the upcoming chapters. Forgive the vagueness at the moment but it builds an interest.
> 
> Comments and kudos are everything to me. I read and love every single one.


	7. A Walk Along The Labyrinth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive the delay guys. I've been swamped with real life work lately. Thank you all again so much for all the feedback its overwhelming.
> 
> I've struggled a lot with this chapter but I think it runs as smooth as I can get this section of the story. I'm still not entirely happy with it but then I rarely am. It will get more exciting soon though I promise.
> 
> I've also opened an account on FanFiction.net to post some of my stories but I think I prefer Archive so everything will be updated here first. 
> 
> Anyway hope its okay...

It was too big. Too opulent.

 

Those were Rey's first thoughts as she looked around the new living space she was meant to stay in. It was roughly the same size of the entire body of the AT-AT that still lay waiting for her back on Jakku. There was a reason she only used a quarter of it… because she didn't need any more. She was a small girl who could survive on the smallest means.

 

This room, these apartments, the whole damn palace… who could spend their time and lives in this place without drowning in it all?

 

It was fairly similar to the rooms she held on The Finalizer in terms of size and contents. The sitting areas and bedroom remained the largest spaces in the apartments with a bed that seemed to so large it bordered on the ridiculous and soft furnishings adorning the sitting areas with cushions and heavy silks. All black and red and brooding.

 

The fresher was still present and was made of black tile once again. Rey turned the taps to make sure her precious water was stilling present and correct. The kitchen area was the smallest area. She clearly wasn't expected to do much cooking.

 

Maz was busy walking about the place, throwing open the blinds and heavy curtains to reveal the windows and let some much needed light into the room. The sudden sunshine bought to Rey's eye the amount of dust floating about the room. These quarters hadn't been used for many years clearly.

 

“Forgive the staleness of the room.” Maz ventured, opening more windows with the helping of a latch stick reaching what she couldn't. As she barely reached three foot, the device did most of the work. “Kylo isn't a fan of giving us much notice on big changes. The droids had cleaned the room and changed the curtains and bedding but they don't think of things like letting in air.”

 

“That's okay.” Rey mumbled.

 

Maz finished opening every window she could and turned to Rey again.

 

“Remember child, you are not confined to your rooms. You can explore the grounds and the palace. Just refrain from going into Kylo's rooms.”

 

“What's in Kylo's rooms?”

 

“Nothing that would be of interest.” Maz looked at her with something like imploring magnified in her eyes. “It's a fairly easy request. He does not appreciate company. I believe he would avoid seeing anyone if he had a choice.”

 

Rey didn't have the energy to argue. The annoying thing was it was a relatively understandable condition. Rey would not be happy if she came back from wherever she may go to find Ren's snooping through her drawers.

 

“He will not bother you in the day. He has asked that you join him for an hour at night to see you.”

 

“What will he want in that hour?” Rey asked with a feeling of dread.

 

“Probably just to check you are still in the castle and haven't stolen a ship.” Maz replied honestly. “He will also want to start training you to use your Force abilities soon too.”

 

Force abilities… there was an undeniable hunger in Rey to learn more. To feel the beginnings of power tingle at her fingertips was exciting. But with it came the remembrance of how her name gave her so much to live up to.

 

Maz spoke about all the devices in the room and how to use them while Rey only half listened. She would probably end up pulling them all apart anyway so it was a little irrelevant. Eventually Maz made for the door but not before touching her hand.

 

“You have friends here. You need only be willing to look.”

 

And with that the tiny orange creature left Rey with the decision as to whether she was willing indeed.

 

 

***

 

 

Conventionally speaking, it would have made sense to just open the door and go exploring that way. But none of this made sense to Rey.

 

So climbing out of the window seemed as good a way as any.

 

Clutching any gaps in the walls that she could spot, Rey managed to shimmy down the wall without very much difficulty. She had climbed 300 feet to get certain parts out of a Star Destroyer once; in comparison a fourth floor window was a walk in the gardens.

 

Speaking of gardens.

 

The colours had called to her like the air to the drowning waters of the black and red room. The perfume of the petals wafting into her room was more enticing than food suddenly.

 

She walked down a gravel path towards what looked like a gate into a labyrinth. Walls of green surrounded her as she walked amongst hedging and trees. The awe she felt when she had touched down on Naboo was quickly returning to her as she took in the palace of flowers that the garden seemed to be. With a gentle breeze on her face and pink blossoms falling onto her head like confetti, she started to feel the rising sensation of hope come back.

 

There was a crunch of the gravel behind her. Rey whipped around and had to look down to find the culprit. It was a droid though it was a strange looking one. Effectively two balls with the smaller one acting as its head, the white and orange droid seemed to sway almost shyly. In its own way, it almost reminded Rey of a child.

 

“Where did you come from?” Rey asked.

 

A series of beeps emanated from the droid in a form of reply.

 

_Classified._

 

Rey rolled her eyes.

 

“Apparently I'm the lady of this place now so there's no need for that rubbish.”

 

The droid beeped and seemed to tilt its head in contemplation of that before giving another number of beeps.

 

“You belong to Maz?”

 

Another beep.

 

“Were you following me? Is she asking you to spy on me?!”

 

Another series of beeps. They almost sound hurt.

 

“Oh. No, I'm fine. I don't need company.” Rey went to turn away only to hear gravel crunch behind her. She turns around to find the droid looking at her expectantly. “No! I said, I'm fine.” Rey pointed to the palace. “Go back to Maz.” She turned away and carried on walking off. A cry of beeps echoed behind her. Rey stopped and turned around. Despite a wish to explore alone and enjoy some quietness, this droid seemed intent on following her. And, much like C3P0 who no doubt would be worrying about her when he found her gone, she didn't have the heart to turn the little droid away. So with an irritated jerk of the head, she let the droid happily roll along with her.

 

“I'm surrounded.” Rey mumbled as the little sphere rolled along happily beeping.

 

*****

 

As luck would have it, BB8, as the droid was apparently called, was quite pleasant company. There was something undeniably cute about the way it rolled around the flowers and it didn't try and engage Rey in conversation when she was preoccupied.

 

They had settled underneath a tree overlooking some purple and pink flowers. Rey had her back against the tree and was enjoying the quiet and the beauty of the view. To be sitting on fertile earth, well-fed and clothed with the sun shining on her face rather than assaulting her senses was a strange sensation. It helped the pangs of loneliness and unease. BB8 soon rolled over to sit by her side quietly and was silent. Rey looked at the little droid and quirked a smile. She wasn't so bad after all.

 

Rey had her eyes closed against the sunshine when she heard a rustle behind the tree. Sitting upright while BB8's head spun around, Rey listened. Footsteps. Clumsy but trying to be quiet. A spy.

 

Enough with the spying!

 

Jumping up, she grabbed a branch above her and yanked to break it off. Clutching the wood which would have to stand in place of her staff, she ran around the tree and struck out at whoever thought they could get an insight on her that she wasn't willing to give.

 

She was shocked to find not a Stormtrooper or First Order member, but a young man who was now flat on his back and groaning from the blow she had landed to his shoulder.

 

Slightly thrown off but still pissed, Rey held her stick defensively.

 

“Who are you? Why are you spying on me? Answer me!”

 

Another groan escaped him as pushed himself up on his elbows. He was young, not much older than her by the looks of it, with dark, smooth skin and bewildered eyes. He was dressed in black with a brown rather worn jacket on.

 

“I wasn't spying! I just… I wanted to see you for myself.”

 

Rey furrowed her brow as the man righted himself and stood up. He was about her height as well.

 

“Maz told me that Kylo Ren has a… fiancée.” Rey tried to stem the flow of amusement at the man's clear bafflement that anyone would want to marry the masked figure. “I wanted to see if its true. Turns out it is.” He rubbed his shoulder to emphasise that it was a rather painful discovery.

 

“You a Stormtrooper?” Rey asked, not willing to make nice just yet.

 

“No. Well, I used to be. For a while. But I managed to get out.”

 

“What do you mean 'used to be?' Stormtroopers never let people leave. Hell, Stormtroopers never want to leave.” Rey snapped.

 

“Well, I did!” The man snapped, clearly defensive. A series of beeps came up from behind Rey. BB8 seemed keen to confirm the man's story. The droid clearly didn't seem him as a threat. “Maz vouched for my life. I'm not allowed to leave the palace either. I have to work for Maz and keep my head down or Kylo Ren may decide to not be quite so lenient.” His eyes flickered to her.

 

“You don't have to worry about me.” Rey said, letting her makeshift weapon drop a little, “I'm not interested in getting anyone in trouble.”

 

The sigh of relief was audible and feeling of awkwardness fell between them.

 

“Is it true then? You're going to marry him?”

 

Rey was tempted to explain to the lapsed stormtrooper that she didn't even know how to explain the situation between them. But remembering Ren's words that she had to keep their month long trial to herself, she nodded.

 

“Looks that way doesn't it?”

 

The man chuckled. “You sound really happy about it(!)”

 

“Would you?(!)” The pair shared a chuckle. At least they seemed to share the same feelings towards the people that were effectively their captors.

 

“They say you were a scavenger. That you can take apart any ship.”

 

“That's true.”

 

“They say you have the Force. That you are descended from the Jedi.”

 

“True again.”

 

“And they said that you killed thirty men with your mind when they raided the Outpost on Jakku.”

 

“Ummm. No. That's a little off-the-mark, um...”

 

“Finn. My name's Finn. It's new. I've only had it three months.”

 

Rey didn't quite understand how a man in his twenties could have a name for only a few months but he looked so genuinely pleased that she could only nod. Against all her natural survivor instincts, she found herself warming to this man. There was an honest quality about him. A good quality to have.

 

“I'm Rey.”

 

“Rey.” Finn repeated before nodded. “That's nice. They have just called you the Kenobi girl in the hanger.”

 

Finn and Rey absently started to walk together as Rey started to clear up some stories by confirming Yes, she had attacked a pair of Stormtroopers and tried to escape and No, she couldn't stop lasers with her eyes or strangle a man with the flick of her wrist. With BB8 rolling along behind her, Rey started to feel more like her own person again as she started to make a new friend in Finn.

 

None of them noticed the figure watching them from a window overlooking the gardens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I always see BB8 as a girl. 
> 
> Comments and kudos strengthen me like the Force.


	8. A Windowside View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly I can only apologise for the delay. My computer decided to play havoc and turn off every time I would try and type and work has been pretty hectic. 
> 
> I will probably be slower updating but I want to double the length of chapters as I don't think mine are as long as I would like. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your continued support. I love you all.

The rooms he frequented blocked out all unnecessary light. All the shutters were strong enough to give the feeling of perpetual night. A small fire would burn in the corner of the room to give some semblance of light. No point turning on the lights. Never any need.

 

Her signature was potent enough for him to sense her anger. He had approached the window and opened a shutter to look out onto the gardens. No-one could see him up here anyway.

 

Ren had watched with a sense of amusement as she had knocked FN-2187 onto his backside with a branch from the tree. Despite Hux's reservations, her feisty nature appealed to him. At least life was unlikely to be boring. So long as she didn't push too far.

 

The amusement gave way to confusion and almost disgust when Rey seemed to lower her weapon and talk in an almost friendly manner to the boy. He noticed the tiny droid that Maz seemed fond of was rolling around her feet as well.

 

Ren watched Rey's body language with some fascination. She didn't look relaxed per say but certainly less tense than she had ever been with him. Whenever he came into her presence, she was wound tighter than a drum.

 

Ren was used to those kinds of reactions. Something about how the girl seemed incapable of hiding her trepidation of him however… it irked him.

 

“I doubt the girl will appreciate you spying on her.”

 

Ren didn't even turn to face Maz. Another thing he had grown used to: her instance on letting herself in.

 

“Then she shouldn't conduct personal business in an open area. If she wants privacy, she can keep to her rooms.”

 

“I doubt anyone can take to that as you have.” Maz didn't move from behind him and Ren didn't turn to face her. His eyes still on Rey through the window. “You haven't told her, have you?”

 

“This is a marriage purely for convenience. I've promised her nothing other than what I can give.”

 

“That's not the same as showing her the full picture. Ren, she is only young. If you must marry, and Hux seems to be under the impression you _must_ , it's only fair she knows everything.”

 

“What difference will it make?” Ren barked. “It can't change the circumstances.”

 

“So what excuse will you use? That you are conscious of your ears?”

 

Ren did turn then. “Mind you place, Katana!” The device in his helmet made his tone more menacing. “I allow you certain liberties but don't think you are above yourself.”

 

“So throw me out then. Get someone else to shoulder this. Except that's exactly the problem. You can't. Or more to the point wont.”

 

“And you know exactly why.” He hissed down at her.

 

Maz held his gaze. The helmet and her goggles locked in a stand-off. Eventually Maz sighed and shook her head.

 

“Kylo, don't you realise this might be a good chance for you? The girl is young, stubborn and afraid but with a kind heart and a fighting spirit. I sense there is something about her… that we have only hoped for. You know the prophecy-”

 

“Enough.” Ren tried to keep his voice threatening but a tremor of wariness and defeat fell through instead. “We have been through this far too many times. This is my path. Some chit of a girl who happens to have a useful surname isn't going to change that.”

 

“Then at least be kind to her.”

 

“I have done nothing to hurt her!” Ren spat. “I've not harmed her, I have agreed to give her a month to collect herself, anything she now wants is hers, what more can I do? What more would you have me do?”

 

“You know what. But, seeing as we are at an impasse there, I would ask you to try and act more like a suitor than a jailer.”

 

Ren turned back to the window. “She will be treated with respect. But if I consider her a threat or with the potential to escape I will do what I see fit.”

 

Ren anticipated another argument but a defeated sigh and a closed door greeted him instead. When he looked back over to the tree where he had spotted her, Rey and the turncoat were gone from view.

 

* * *

 

Rey and Finn walked together for a long time around the gardens, the shining sun warming them nicely with BB8 rolling along at their feet, beeping now and again to join in on the two young outcasts' conversation.

 

Finn seemed genuinely interested in Rey's life. He found her stories of scavenging and survival to be fascinating and was in general agreement that Unkar Plutt sounded like a complete slave driver. Apparently, if he hadn't been in debt to her superior, Plutt and Phasma would have got on quite well, according to Finn.

 

Rey was tempted to ask Finn what he knew of her family legacy but she had a feeling he may be in the same position as herself: knowing the basics and legends but little else.

 

They walked amongst the flowers as the sky started to turn from blue to a dusky pink and the air began to feel cooler. Finn was wise enough not to query too much about Rey's personal life before she came here and seemed satisfied to just know how she had survived a life on a desert heap. Rey listened with genuine interest to Finn's life though.

 

He had been taken from his family as soon as he was born. The purpose of his life had been to train him to be a minion of the First Order army. Shoot first, ask questions never, seemed to be the motto to live by. But Finn had had questions. Lots of questions. Never voiced but always there. Until they had handed him a gun and told him to shoot and he couldn't.

 

Maz had stepped forward to save him from death. The tiny orange woman was the only person who was known to change Ren's mind about anything and, even then, there was never a guarantee Ren wouldn't change it back again. Something must have worked because Finn still had possession of a heart beat.

 

Rey and Finn had made an entire circuit of the vast gardens by the time they had traded their stories. They were soon back by the palace doors right below her bedroom window. A part of Rey considered climbing back up but didn't relish going back to a room shrouded in black. Especially after seeing so much green and multi-colour.

 

Finn, seeing her reluctant expression, looked down a path that led to another level of the palace and spoke.

 

“Hey, wanna see where all the best people in the palace hang out?”

 

 

**

 

 

If the floors above are meant to show opulence and beauty, the floors below the castle are a complete opposite.

 

The kitchens are huge and mainly coloured in shades of brown. Windows are narrow and high up on the walls to let out steam and smoke and let in light. The place is loud with noises of chatter, shouted instructions, laughter and the clanging of pots. Creatures and humanoids work together to get the work done while conversing and gossiping.

 

Rey finds that the activity and energy of the small unglamorous living quarters and kitchens shed more colour on the otherwise dark and dank place than a shower of petals.

 

Finn walked confidently through the kitchens with Rey and BB8 following behind. Sitting himself down at a long wooden bench that serves as the table of the kitchen, Finn threads his fingers together on the table and smiles at Rey.

 

“Say what you like for democracy. This is where the real decisions are made.”

 

“What is this place?”

 

“It's the kitchens, the washing rooms, the living quarters for the workers of the palace, the heartbeat of Naboo.”

 

Having entered more or less unnoticed, Rey became aware that more and more people were starting to steal glances her way. The whispers are hushed and unsubtle. Rey sits down at the bench and keeps her eyes down.

 

There is food on the table such as bread rolls, fruit and various meats.

 

“What do you do down here?” Rey asked, on reflex taking a bread roll and shoving it into her pocket. It would go with the rest.

 

“Mainly cook. Sometimes run errands around the palace for Maz. Nothing major. There isn't much I can do here that doesn't bring me right back into direct contact with Stormtroopers.”

 

“It must be difficult.” Rey felt genuine empathy for the boy. “Were you friends with them?”

 

“It's complicated.” Finn shrugged. “We were almost like brothers. All of us. We had one purpose to defend the legacy of the First Order, to protect our sovereign and to keep order amongst it all. But we were well aware that we could die at any time in duty. We couldn't get too attached.” Finn sighed. “They probably would have preferred if I had died. At least they could remember me as one of them. And not a traitor.”

 

“Would you go back?” Rey asked.

 

“Never.” The reply was instant and made Rey's lips tug into a smile. “It was the right thing to do. And sometimes you just have to go with your gut.”

 

“Wise words if ever there were any.”

 

Finn and Rey looked to the side to see Maz approaching.

 

“Glad to see my advice wasn't completely ignored.” Maz smiled at Rey. Rey could only look away sheepishly. Maz touched her elbow to make her look back at her. “I was hoping I would find you. You will need to come back to your rooms. I need to get you ready to face the court.”

 

Rey previously relaxed and happy feeling starting to wither like flowers in winter. She had completely forgotten her deal to face the gentry of Theed Palace.

 

“Don't look so frightened. It is only to show your face. You will probably have to only sit at Ren's side so they can see you actually exist. As soon as they have, you can retire back to your rooms if you like. But I will need to get you ready.”

 

The idea of being paraded like a ship in a show was not a welcome one.

 

“I'm not wearing a dress.” Rey thought she better make that clear.

 

“Fine by me.” Maz shrugged. “I always found Naboo fashions a little… eccentric anyway.”

 

A flash of gold caught her eye as a figure waddled awkwardly into Rey's sight.

 

“Oh Mistress!” C3-PO cried. “Where have you been? I have been so worried!”

 

BB8 beeped a series of noises that caught the service droid's attention.

 

“Oh I see. Well, thank you for keeping her company BeeBee-Ate.”

 

Rey smiled down at the little ball of a droid and then back at C3-PO. “I'm sorry for worrying you but I wanted to see the palace for myself. Besides, turns out the people are interesting.” Finn smiled proudly at being described as such.

 

“Oh this palace has quite the history. Did you know that fifty years ago when I served here-”

 

“How about,” Maz interrupted loudly, “we walk and talk?” In a quieter voice, “Otherwise Rey will be in her thirtieth year by the time you finish.”

 

“What was that?” C3-PO asked.

 

“Nothing.” Finn and Maz chimed.

 

Rey stood up slowly and looked to Finn.

 

“I will see you again?” She asked guardedly. Her trust in people wasn't easy to give but something told her that Finn would be as good and as genuine a friend as any.

 

“Of course. I'm normally down here. Or in the hanger sometimes. I have some… friends there.” Rey didn't quite know why he was blushing all of a sudden but shrugged it off.

 

Following the two droids and Maz back up to the palace floors, Rey wondered whether this court she would have to face would be anything like as comforting as the kitchen's felt even with the stares.

 

She already knew it wouldn't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos keep me going.
> 
> We are very much in the build-up stage and more details of Ren's life and the curse will come to light. A decently paced build up is something I insist on though even when I want to dive in myself.


	9. Councils and Corridors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support. It's quite overwhelming and humbling. I really hope you like this chapter as I worked hard on it.

Rey scrubbed herself in the bath for a good half an hour. Mainly because she could but also to stave off going in front of the court for as long as possible. Leaning her head against the edge of the bath, she finds a childish pleasure in the sight of her long brown hair floating in the water. Cutting her hair would have been more practical in her scavenging trips (less chance of catching it and scalping herself when making risky descents) but she'd never got as far as bringing a knife to her hair. It was a last grasp on her femininity. And the three bun hairstyle kept it mostly out of the way.

 

After finally hoisting herself out of the water, pink and wrinkly, Rey gazed at that long brown hair in the mirror. And at the tiny orange lady who was brushing it.

 

“I know a few hairstyles that will suit the occasion. And won't annoy you too much.” Maz chimed as she sectioned off parts of her hair. Rey can only shrug and let Maz create a little variety of braids. Catching Rey's eye, Maz smiled. “If you are marrying into this family, you better get used to braids. You've already got the hang of buns.” Maz didn't elaborate and Rey didn't ask.

 

C3-P0 fussed in the wardrobes as Maz worked. Rey could hear him converse with himself.

 

“No, I don't think so… no, not right… oh dear, she'll use her staff on me if I suggest this!”

 

Rey didn't have her staff yet but she was confident C3-P0 knew her enough to be rightfully afraid.

 

Finally Maz stood back. Rey's hair looked fairly similar to her normal look from the front. It was only when Maz held up a mirror at the back of her head that Rey saw the variety of twist, plaits, braids and pins that had been put to the task of making Rey look regal yet practical. She was no liar; she was impressed.

 

Maz didn't try and apply any of the white paint she had seen previous Queens wear. Instead she curled Rey's lashes and painted her lids with a soft brown colour. Despite the slight itchy feeling it provoked, the brushes fanning across her face was quite soothing and ticklish, prompting her to close her eyes.

 

Opening them had been a revelation. Her face looked the same tanned colour, but her cheeks were pink, her eyes were larger and her lips almost inviting. For the first time, she looked in the mirror and didn't feel indifferent. She felt… pretty.

 

C3-P0 came back in with a velvet coat and matching trousers with black boots. It was a dark burgundy colour.

 

“I am at a loss Mistress Katana!” The droid moaned. “I have looked through all the old gowns and the only one I can find to match Miss Rey's character is this one.” He held up the find.

 

The coat gave the impression of a dress yet it looked more commanding and almost practical.

 

“I'll wear it.” Rey announced, eyes still on it.

 

“Yes.” Maz nodded, eyeing it too. “I think that will do very nicely.”

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren was sat upon the throne in the room where members of Theed's richest residents and the several members of the First Order mingled together. His expression was hidden along with his eyes and this was one of the rare moments he was grateful. His eyes could peruse the room, sizing up, looking for agendas with people's attention being caught. It was good to keep the emotions hidden in politics.

 

You show your hand and they will show theirs. And it normally had a knife in it ready to stab you in the back.

 

Hux had arranged this farce. He had thought it would be a good opportunity to show her off as a Queen. Naboo had been without one for long enough, the general had insisted. The people needed a figure to bind them with love. Ren knew this was a thinly veiled jab at his own lack of popularity. Ren let this one go as he was not blind to the fact it was true. He was feared and by extension obeyed; he didn't need to be popular.

 

He knew the First Order had a reputation and he knew they played up to it. Hux and Phasma were a fairly intimidating duo and commanded respect.

 

Kylo was no saint either. The north wing of the palace, his own personal quarters, were more or less destroyed. Only his room and living space was more or less unscathed. Hux and Maz had come to an agreement that it was fruitless to keep fixing the damage. The pair rarely agreed on anything so it was something of a momentous occasion when they joined forces.

 

Hux had the majority of control over what actions were undertaken when fighting enemies. Ren insisted upon being the one to exact justice on proven traitors. Other than that, Hux was left to his own devices. Though Ren wasn't so stupid to not keep a close eye on him all the same.

 

The galaxy said Ren was unhinged and without remorse.

 

Unhinged. Probably.

 

Remorseless. They didn't have a clue…

 

There was a frisson of excited chatter in the crowd as an approaching party entered the room. There were two Stormtroopers, Maz (still in her dungarees – her contempt for the members of Naboo's elite was well established), C3-P0, who Ren had been more than happy to give to Rey (the gold plated droid was a well-mannered menace!) and…

 

Ren couldn't help sitting upright.

 

She wasn't wearing the excuse for a dress they had found her in or the grey ensemble she'd arrived in Naboo in. He recognised the coat and outfit as his grandmothers. Padme Amidala's uniform had not been aired since she had retaken this very palace against an invasion. It was even said his grandfather had been present as a young boy. He'd hijacked a speeder and blown up a space station.

 

Rey walked towards the throne, through the throng of people openly gawking at her, with a tilted head and a set jaw. Her hair was braided and elegant and her face radiant. Ren conceded if only to himself that he had been wrong: she was a beautiful women. Anyone could see it.

 

She looked like she was prepared for battle. Prepared for a fight.

 

Ren wondered if the world was prepared for her.

 

Rey walked to the throne where another matching chair was waiting for her. She raised her eyes to meet his through the visor. At some point during her entrance, he had stood.

 

Together, they sat down. As rulers and soon to be spouses.

 

* * *

 

Rey felt like her teeth would be reduced to stumps if she carried on grinding them any more. All her bravado, all her courage, that certain spark that had always kept her alive during her worst days was being used to remain impassive. Almost bored by the spectacle. To be haughty and mirror the despot at her side with a straight back and an upright chin.

 

She was supposed to play the role of a Queen.

 

She wasn't a queen. She was a scavenger. That was all she knew.

 

She was scared and uncomfortable and this make-up made her face feel strange and she wanted to go back to the chambers and never come out again.

 

It also didn't help that Ren insisted on gripping the armrests of his throne with both hands. To hold hers would mean risking touching his gloved hand.

 

She folded her hands on her lap, looking rather prim no doubt, but not caring much.

 

“I'm getting a rather strong inkling that you are uncomfortable.” Ren's voice interjected. Rey wondered if his default tone of voice was sardonic or whether it was intentional.

 

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

 

“Because there is a vein on your neck that I haven't seen before and you seem a little flushed.”

 

Rey snapped her neck to glare at him.

 

“It was made clear that I was to play a part here. I'm trying. Isn't that something?”

 

Ren nodded. “You do seem to be playing the part as well as you can. Don't believe I don't appreciate the effort.” Rey blinked. Did he just… compliment her? “However, you still have a lot to learn. I intend to start training your force abilities as soon as possible. And clearly a new wardrobe is needed if that's your choice of outfit.”

 

“What's wrong with it?” Rey looked down at the coat. She thought she looked quite smart.

 

“It's meant to be worn during fighting. And was last fashionable about fifty years ago.”

 

“All the other dresses… they're too much.” Rey ducked her head. “They're not me.”

 

Ren didn't say anything for a moment and Rey wondered if he was considering her difficult.

 

“Then I shall commission you some new clothes. Clothes you are comfortable in.”

 

Rey looked at Ren in shock. The metal mask looked back. Rey was momentarily lost for words. He hadn't mocked her but offered to do something compassionate. Even kind.

 

Rey opened her mouth to say something. Thank him maybe. But the words wouldn't come. The cynic inside her shouted that he was only doing this to butter her up and make her more agreeable. The other part, a more human part, wasn't so sure that would even make any sense.

 

Ren turned his head to look back at the room and the moment was gone.

 

Rey and Ren sat together in silence for a long while. If Ren noticed her discomfort again, he didn't acknowledge it.

 

Hux approached the throne and whispered something to Ren. Ren nodded.

 

“This cannot wait. I will be a few moments.” The words were directed at Rey before he stood and walked away with Hux. Leaving her alone on her throne.

 

If it was uncomfortable when Ren was sat with her, it was intolerable when she was left to face the staring people alone.

 

The truth was she had never been with this many people in her life. The Niima Outpost had held maybe thirty scavengers at most. This place was pushing closer to over a hundred. The room was feeling hotter and she badly needed air.

 

Standing quickly, she walked past the people and towards a table with food and various drinks. Grabbing one goblet, she tipped the contents down her throat and grimaced at the taste. Wine was something she wasn't used to.

 

Why people drink this stuff out of choice is a mystery, she thought.

 

Walking to a window that showed the city of Naboo bathed in night, she sighed and closed her eyes. These people would think her a fool if they realised just how completely out of her depth she was. At least Ren had a presence. A dark one but still. At least he didn't look like a teenager playing dress-up.

 

Rey looked at the reflections in the window. The night meant she was forced to squint to see the shapes of Theed. Instead her own face looked back at her. Along with various others looking at her behind her back.

 

They all looked so strange. So many various fashions she had never seen before. Harsh make-up, elaborate clothing, hairstyles so intricate they must have taken hours.

 

None of them looked out of place in this palace. They looked confident, powerful, connected. She hated them all.

 

Sipping at her wine for lack of anything better to do, she want to the table and looked at the food. It was what they had been preparing in the kitchens when she went there with Finn and BB8. She remembered the rich smells and the rather downtrodden colours of the kitchen underground.

 

“Miss Kenobi, I assume?”

 

Rey whipped around. A man a little bit taller than her with brown hair and a somewhat roguish look on his face was standing before her.

 

“Yes?” Rey asked cautiously.

 

“Battle garments suit you quite nicely.” His mouth quickened into a smile that seemed cheeky. “I hope for all our sakes Padme Amidala didn't leave her guns in the pockets.”

 

Rey wasn't sure whether she was being made fun of and she didn't like it one bit.

 

“Sorry but who are you?” Rey demanded.

 

“Captain Dameron. My friends call me Poe.”

 

“Good for them.” Rey took a deep swig of her wine. It still tasted horrible but it made her care less about her circumstances.

 

“Don't worry,” Poe chuckled, not looking offended, “I'm not some politician. Haven't got the tact for that. I'm a pilot.”

 

“Unless you can give me a lift somewhere far from here, I'm not interested.” Rey sighed.

 

“Maz was right – you are tough.”

 

Rey looked at him from the corner of her eye. He knew Maz. Immediately, she felt a little less defensive.

 

“It's alright, you know.” Poe leant back against the wall by the window and took a calm sip of his own drink, surveying the room like he owned it. “You're wise to not trust me. Or anyone else. This isn't a place to be making friends. Not with this lot anyway.”

 

“For someone in their company and drinking their wine, you don't seem too fond of them yourself.”

 

“You would be right.” Poe nodded. “I'm from the other side. So they hate me too. Just to be fair.”

 

“Other side?”

 

“Resistance.”

 

Rey forgot her haughty act and let her eyes open wide. She had heard of them of course. The General may have handed the throne to her son but that hadn't meant she had headed off into a happy retirement. The Republic lived on through the Resistance and opposed all that the current monarchy and its army of enforcers stood for. The General had simply gone from one throne to another.

 

“I've never met a Resistance pilot before.”

 

“Well, we tend to be a bit thin on the ground at the Niima Outpost.” Poe smiled cheekily. He was very handsome. There was a certain twinkle in his eye that would make most women and probably some men weak at the knees. He also had a habit of biting his lip that made even Rey feel a bit warm in the cheeks.

 

Still, no point losing your head over a pretty face.

 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, edging a little closer to whisper to him, “I would have thought you would be housed in a dungeon. Not in the throne room liberating Kylo Ren of his best wine.”

 

“He knows I'm here. Everyone does. The Resistance and First Order are at something of an armistice. When it was announced that the last Kenobi had been found and the General's only child intended to marry her, it seemed prudent to send an envoy.”

 

“So you're an ambassador?”

 

“Of sorts. Like I said, politics aren't a strong point for me. Diplomats have to possess a quality that alludes me.”

 

“What quality is that?”

 

“The quality to behave yourself.” That smile and twinkle were back. Rey couldn't suppress a smile of amusement. Poe's smile melted into something a bit more subdued. “She was curious. She knew your grandfather. He was a General when she knew him too. And every mother should at least hear from a reliable source what her daughter-in-law is like.”

 

“Will I make a favourable report?”

 

“Oh definitely.”

 

Rey smiled genuinely for what felt the first time in years.

 

“How does he treat you?” Poe asked.

 

Rey felt a little winded by the change in direction the conversation had taken.

 

“Um… Absent, mostly. When he is with me…” Rey had to think how to describe the bizarre set-up, “he's not unkind. He's seems interested in my powers. But he's made it clear he's marrying me for my name. Nothing more.”

 

“He sounds like a complete tool.”

 

Rey couldn't help it. She burst out laughing, uncaring that some people had turned around to look at her.

 

“In a way, yes. But...” She thought of his previous offer to get her new clothes. “Maybe not completely.”

 

Poe quirked an eyebrow but said nothing.

 

“Are there any other people here I can trust?” Rey asked, feeling suddenly a little desperate for more friends. She seemed to be having a good day of making new ones.

 

“Not really.” Poe shook his head. “Not in this room anyway. You'll probably see enough of _that one_ in the coming years.” Poe's eyes fixed on someone in the crowd and Rey turned to look.

 

A woman was standing amongst a gaggle of men. She was wearing a black and white patterned dress with black leather design around the neck and shoulders. Her hair was completely covered by a matching black cap and her eyebrows and make-up were harsh. There was something graceful about her, something beautiful and something terrible.

 

“Bazine Netal. Known bounty hunter for the First Order.” Poe explained. “Its said that until recently, she was Ren's mistress.”

 

Rey took a deep breath and a deep drink from her cup. She wasn't stupid. Ren was about ten years older than her and powerful. Most men and women have lovers before marrying. She just didn't think she would be living in the same palace as one of his conquests.

 

“If it was only until recently why would I care?”

 

“Because she doesn't let go of a good thing easily.” Poe explained grimly. “Even if it was purely physical it gave her a special sort of status. Now you've come along and gained an empire without so much as showing Ren your shoulder. Keep an eye on her.”

 

Rey could only nod.

 

She was so busy looking at the dark, sultry figure of Ren's former lover, she didn't notice Hux approaching them.

 

“Mistress Kenobi.” His greeting sounded more like a reprimand. “My business with Lord Ren is complete.”

 

Rey nodded confused. She was about to ask, 'why the hell would I care?' when she felt Poe nudge her with his foot. Darting her eyes around, her eyes fell on Ren. He was sitting back on his throne. And staring right at her and Poe.

 

“Right.” Rey grabbed another glass of wine. The more you drink, the less you care. She realised that might be why it was so popular.

 

“It's been a pleasure, Miss Kenobi.” Poe smiled and bowed, making Rey want to kick him with embarrassment. “I'm sure we will meet again. I spend most of my time in the hanger with the ships.”

 

“Thank you Poe.” She hoped it would suffice for Poe. Hux clearly wasn't moving.

 

Rey walked past Hux without so much as a glance and went to sit back on her throne.

 

Barely ten seconds had passed when Ren demanded.

 

“What did Dameron want?”

 

“To welcome me to Naboo.” Rey stared straight ahead. “He seems very nice.”

 

“Dameron has to excel at something I suppose.” Ren replied sounding spiteful.

 

“He welcomed me here. Which is more than any of your friends have.” If he was going to be petulant, she could play just as well.

 

“Be careful of him.” Ren warned lowly. “He is in allegiance with traitors and cowards.”

 

Rey's breath hitched. The General was _not_ a coward. She turned to look at Ren.

 

“He's an envoy. I am to be a Queen. Surely nurturing good relations will be good for your empire.” Rey inhaled through her nose. “Besides, we were only talking.”

 

“It's never only talking with him.”

 

“You are free to talk to who you please.” Rey snapped. She looked out at the crowd and pointed to a figure. “Bazine's over there. Why not get up and talk to _her_.”

 

The metal mask didn't show any emotion, it was what Rey hated most, but she was fairly sure it was the closest she would get to see Ren appearing stunned.

 

She knew it was a risk to snap at him like this but she was prisoner as it was. She wouldn't let someone dictate who she could and couldn't talk to.

 

Rey stood and fought to appear calm. “I'm going back to my rooms now. I hope my presence was satisfactory. Good night.”

 

And with as much grace as she could muster she walked out back to her chambers with C3-P0 waddling to catch up with her.

 

It was with enormous relief that she was able to shut the doors to her bedroom. C3-P0 bought her a hot drink and set out her sleeping clothes.

 

Rey drank it quietly and thought over the events of the night.

 

Poe Dameron seemed to be charming and brave if a little reckless. His connections to the Resistance were certainly interesting. His connection to Leia Organa even more so.

 

Was that why Ren had got so angry? It was known Kylo Ren hadn't seen his mother in years.

 

Bazine was also a new development. Rey couldn't say she was surprised or upset but rather unnerved and curious. Had they been in love? Had Ren wanted Bazine as his queen? Had she ever seen him without his mask? Somehow the last question bothered her the most.

 

Sighing, Rey reached into her pockets and took out the fruit and bread that she had taken off the table in the council rooms. Say what you will about army fashions: their pockets were nice and deep.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey was dozing in bed when she heard voices outside her door. Getting out of bed, she crept to the door and opened it a crack.

 

“When did this start?” Maz's voice asked.

 

“As soon as he left the throne room.” Hux voice replied curtly. “Not two minutes after the girl. He went to the North wing. Needless to say, our decision to not replace the furniture was a prudent one. It would have been a complete waste of credits.”

 

Maz sighed. “What do you reckon set him off?”

 

“Dameron talking to the girl, more than likely. Then again, this is Ren. Does he need a reason?” Hux snapped.

 

“There is always a reason.” Maz proclaimed. A snort could be heard in reply. “I'll deal with this. Go back to Phasma.”

 

“I'm not-”

 

“I may wear goggles but I'm not blind. Goodnight Hux.” Footsteps receded and the voices were gone.

 

Rey waited five beats before opening the door and looking down the corridor both ways. She could just see Maz's tiny figure turning a corner down one end while Hux went down the other way. She quickly tip-toed after Maz.

 

The palace didn't look so opulent when it was dark. In fact, it felt haunting. Rey followed Maz down a series of corridors before watching her go down one that seemed more shadowed and decaying than the rest.

 

Rey could make out bit of shrapnel on the floor like items that had been destroyed. There was a dark energy that seemed to crackle in the air.

 

Maz carried on walking towards the end of the corridor where there was a door. Rey watched as she opened it and a touch of light lit the destroyed hallway for a moment before the door shut behind Maz and it was dark again.

 

Rey knew what this was. The entry to Ren's chambers. The North Section. She could see there were large pictures on the walls but she couldn't see what they held in their frames. It was too dark to see much of anything.

 

She considered moving closer to see before a sound of a whirring came from behind her.

 

BB8 came rolling up to her, beeping in what seemed to be her version of a whisper, and C3-P0 wasn't far behind.

 

“Oh dear, oh dear. Mistress, please refrain from leaving your rooms at night. I almost short-circuited when I found you gone!”

 

Rey looked back down the hall where Maz went.

 

“I heard something. Maz was saying-”

 

“Please Mistress we cannot stay here.” C3-P0 pleaded. “Master Ren is very particular about this part of the palace. No-one can be here.”

 

“Maz is.”

 

“Yes, well,” C3-P0 stammered, “Mistress Katana knows how to deal with Master Ren.”

 

BB8 beeped in affirmation.

 

“Why is it hidden? Why can't we go down there?”

 

“Please Mistress Kenobi. Come back to bed. Please.”

 

Rey considered questioning more but C3-P0 sounded so pitiful and BB8 kept knocking her foot. Eventually she followed them back to her rooms, looking back over her shoulder the entire time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.bakadeshiproductions.com/anneke/starwars/PadmeNaberrie/PN_03_P3.jpg
> 
> This is the outfit Rey wears. I don't know why but it feels like something Rey would wear or a statement she would make.
> 
> Comments and kudo's are love


	10. Once Upon A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears.
> 
> Please forgive the wait. My computer is still throwing tantrums and I've been busy with work. I hope a nice long chapter where lots happens will make up for it.
> 
> A good song for this chapter is "Once Upon A Dream" by Lana Del Rey. Its got gothic and fairytale elements that are good for this story.
> 
> I'm sorry I don't reply to comments but never think I don't appreciate them. I don't want to inflate the comment count and it would basically be me gushing my thanks. So thank you to everyone who has commented so far and kudos. They mean so so so much.

Hux walked, or more accurately stormed, back to his quarters in the palace. To say he was pissed was an understatement. It was humiliating to have to admit defeat in anything he did. He was a Commander of men and the man who gave orders. Except to a belligerent prince who was prone to wild outbursts of rage even as he approached his thirties. Damn it all to Alderaan, he wasn't paid enough for the amount of shit Ren made him put up with.

 

He couldn't deny though that when Ren was in the grip of fury that even he was out of his depth. Maz was the only one with the bravery to approach him and make him stop. Having to defer to some glorified cook who had lived longer than was decent was sickening but necessary. Maz always walked away unharmed and almost cheerful as though they had sat down to drink Correlian brandy and swap Force management tips. The fact that an entire wing normally had to be cleaned by over ten droids seemed to be swept, quite literally, under the carpet.

 

Opening the doors to his rooms, he shrugged off his coat and tossed it over the sofa.

 

“I take it that its being dealt with?”

 

Hux let his eyes flicker to the statuesque figure standing by the window before given a curt nod.

 

“Maz will take it from here. Nothing else we can do. No point losing any sleep over it.”

 

Captain Phasma nodded sagely.

 

“He was doing quite well too. It's been almost two months since he had an episode.”

 

“Oh, forgive me. I didn't realise we were meant to give him a present for every day he didn't break something(!)”

 

Captain Phasma didn't seem offended by Hux's tone. It was hard to tell when she was in full uniform though.

 

“Take that thing off.” Hux instructed, pointing to her armour.

 

“You've locked the door?”

 

Hux simply pointed at the control to the door that were flashing blue – the sign the door wasn't opening for anyone except him. Why was he surrounded by people who wanted to wear permanent headgear?

 

Nodding, Phasma reached up and pulled off her helmet.

 

Hux silently contemplated the woman in front of him as piece by piece, her armour began to be removed. She wasn't attractive by galactic standards. The best way to describe her was striking. Her hair was blonde and cropped shortly. Her face was pale and her mouth rarely smiled. Yet her eyes were pleasing and quite an agreeable shade of blue. He doubted whether that mattered to her though. She didn't hide due to fear but due to status. She was a Captain and an enforcer. Being a woman in this position was a risky one. Being a woman unarmed and vulnerable in all her human form was nearly suicidal.

 

Soon she was clad only in her black long sleeved tunic and trousers that all officers wore underneath the plates of metal. Ruffling her hair, Phasma sighed.

 

“We should take this as a victory of sorts. At leasts this confirms that Ren find the girl agreeable to some extent. He would not get so angry at Dameron talking to her if he didn't.”

 

“Dameron and Ren have a chequered history at best. The fact the girl seemed taken with him was nothing short of a disaster.” Hux poured a liberal amount of wine into a goblet and handed it to Phasma who took it silently. His own goblet was almost overflowing by the time he finished. He needed every drop.

 

“She is a young girl. Dameron is handsome. It was inevitable.”

 

“Inevitable and bloody inconvenient.” Hux snapped.

 

Phasma walked into his bedroom and draped herself calmly across his bed as though it was her own. Hux simply followed her to the room. Recently she did spend more time in it than her own.

 

This arrangement of theirs had started quite unexpectedly. Hux and Phasma had respected each on a purely professional level for many years but had looked elsewhere for physical satisfaction. After one particularly challenging evening at trying to keep the troops in order though, Phasma had come to the conclusion that the only way to stop Hux talking viciously was to remove her helmet and kiss him. She admitted later on that it was purely to shut him up and she thought the combined shock of a kiss and seeing her without her helmet for the first time would work nicely. And it did. Except they both enjoyed it more than they had bargained for and ended up working up quite a sweat as a result.

 

Hux had anticipated complications the next morning. When he had woken to find Phasma gone however and talking to him like normal in the control room, he was pleasantly surprised at her calm attitude.

 

What was meant to be a one night stand soon became something of a routine. Phasma didn't ask for anything other than someone to satisfy her needs on the condition she satisfied his in return. When Hux felt the need to vocalise that he couldn't offer her anything else, she had laughed out loud. Apparently the very idea of Hux being boyfriend material was ludicrous and he was inclined to agree.

 

Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to in regards to palace matters.

 

“I suppose you noticed Bazine is back too.” Hux sighed.

 

“How could I not? I had to send ten of my troops for reconditioning with half an hour of her arriving.”

 

Hux sat down on the bed with his back to Phasma and rolled his neck wearily.

 

He felt Phasma's hands on him but didn't turn or open his eyes. He just let her undo his tunic and slip it off.

 

“Do you think its true? What they whisper about Ren and about…”

 

Hux sighed. “I don't know.” He admitted with the condescension for once absent from his tone. “It would make sense to a certain extent. But it would pose more questions that answers.”

 

“Could the girl be more significant than we thought?” Phasma asked, leaning her chin against his shoulder.

 

“I don't know which answer is worse. At least Ren didn't seem too attached to the other women. The most we got out of him when Bazine left were a few days of snarling and destroyed consoles.”

 

“There is no guarantee that the girl will back out. Even if its only stubborn pride keeping them from bowing out of the engagement. I'll say this for the two of them: they're stubborn enough.” Phasma finished unbuttoning Hux shirt and pulled it down. “Now, enough about them two. I have had a rather stressful day and I need some relief.”

 

Hux wasn't one to surrender control but, when a six-foot-two leggy blonde throws you on your back and climbs on top of you, even he had to admit that there were times when it could be somewhat enjoyable.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rey slept fitfully that night and seemed to waken at every noise. She tiptoed on more than one occasion to the door of the entrance to her rooms to press her ear to the metal and listen for any signs of what was happening in the palace.

 

C3-P0 seemed to be standing watch as he caught her every time and shooed her back to bed. On the last occasion, BB8 actually shocked her leg with a small electric current to stop her trying to scoot around the gold service droid. The little droid seemed as unhappy about it as her leg had been so she stopped trying to get up but didn't achieve a peaceful hour all night.

 

She left her rooms as soon as she could the next day but the palace seemed quiet and almost calm. Like after a massive storm. Rey snuck away from C3-P0 and BB8 long enough to poke her head around the corridor with the door at the end. There were droids cleaning away shattered glass and various debris from furniture. Now it was light she could see that there were panels ripped clean off the wall and bare wires sparking dangerously. One particular droid was elbow deep in fixing them as she stared at the destruction.

 

Rey wandered away before she was caught again.

 

She went down to the kitchens to take her breakfast. The sight of Finn sat at the long wooden table, happily digging into a bowl of porridge, was far more heartening than she would have expected. His smile of delight at seeing her back even more so.

 

Rey had a bowl of porridge thrust in front of her by one of the members of the kitchen and she dug in straight away. It was delicious.

 

“How did it go?” Finn asked straight away. “Was it okay? Did you feel alright? Did you sit on a throne?” All these questions flew out of his mouth in under ten seconds.

 

“It was… interesting.” Rey conceded. She went about retelling the events of the night, about wearing her battle garments, sitting before the crowd and meeting Captain Dameron. Finn's face lit up at the name. “That friend you were talking about I take it?” Rey deduced, raising an eyebrow at Finn.

 

“...Yeah. Friend.” There was something a little sad in his tone but then a smile came back to his eyes. “He gave me my name.”

 

“Your name?”

 

“Remember me telling you I had only had it a while? Well, I used to be called FN-2187. Poe- I mean, Captain Dameron wouldn't call me that. So he came up with Finn. He gave me a name.”

 

Rey didn't really know what to say. But she knew that she suddenly liked and trusted Dameron a hell of lot more now.

 

The moment was interrupted by Maz walking into the kitchen, looking tired but in rather relieved spirits.

 

“Maz, hows… everything?” Finn trailed off, probably thinking better of it in front of Rey.

 

“All good.” Maz replied calmly. She looked to Rey. “How are you today dear? I was told you may have found it a bit much last night.”

 

“ _I_ was fine.” Rey insisted. “Other people on the other hand...” She looked right at Maz. Maz's large goggle-covered eyes looked back calmly.

 

“Yes. The nobility of Naboo and Ren's hangers-on are enough to test anyone. I hear Miss Netal is back.”

 

“Yes.” Rey's eyes were almost pleading to Maz. She wasn't in a position to announce that she knew Ren had suffered an episode as that would reveal her snooping.

 

_Tell me. Please tell me. Trust me enough to give me the truth._

 

“Keep an eye on her. She's dangerous when she wants something. There's a reason she's a top assassin.”

 

Rey could only nod and stirred her porridge listlessly.

 

**

 

Finn had made it his mission to show Rey more aspects of the palace. As soon as they had finished their food, Finn was leading Rey towards the main hanger with Maz promising to keep C3-P0 occupied. BB8 rolling along side them as he was built with the function of servicing fighter planes.

 

Rey looked around the docking bay where she had touched down into Theed for the first time. It was more or less the same size as the Finalizer but less dark and imposing. The presence of hundreds of Stormtroopers certainly didn't help make it any more cosy though.

 

It was apparent as she walked with Finn that he was uncomfortable being back amongst his comrades. Their stares were obvious but they were silent. Rey wondered if it was purely for the benefit of a future Queen.

 

Amongst the fine weaponry and various TIE Fighters, a tiny corner right at the back of the hanger, was occupied by what Rey recognised as a resistance fighter. This was nothing like the junk on Jakku – this was a gleaming, all-singing, all-dancing piece of beauty. The man stood beside it was of the same variety of beauty. BB8 shot past her and rolled at an accelerated speed to the pilot. The pilot greeted him like a favourite pet and then looked up.

 

“Miss Kenobi!” Captain Dameron's delight was evident and contagious because Rey couldn't help a little smile.

 

“Rey.” She corrected.

 

“Rey.” Dameron smiled. His eyes flicked to Finn. His eyes were still warm yet somewhat softer. “And Finn.”

 

“Poe.” Rey looked at Finn. He seemed animated and almost like he couldn't keep still. Her eyes flicked between the two.

 

Ah.

 

Ahhhhh.

 

So the theory that he could make men as well as women lose their breath was indeed accurate.

 

Dameron seemed to shake himself and turn his eyes back to Rey. Judging by the sheepish look on his face, she must have looked both as fond and amused as she felt.

 

“I'm pleased you look more comfortable now.”

 

Rey nodded. “It helps not to be gawked at.”

 

“I'm sure. Apologises for the lack of space.” Dameron looked around. It did look like he had literally been allocated a corner. “They don't like to give me much room if they can help it.”

 

“Probably think you'll get up to things you shouldn't.” Finn answered.

 

“They'd be right.” Dameron smirked. He looked up at the plane. “Jess! Get down here.”

 

The cockpit of the fighter opened and a red-clad figure jumped to the ground. Long dark hair was tied messily into a bun and the girl in possession of it stood up. She was quite small with brown eyes that were friendly and sparkled with what looked like constant anticipation for adventure. She seemed like the sort of girl whom life would both be exciting and exhausting.

 

“This is Jessika Pava. She's a fighter with the Resistance. She was kind enough to ask to be snuck in-”

 

“-keep you company-” Jess corrected dryly.

 

“-and see how it all operates.” Dameron continued as though not interrupted.

 

“I'm basically here to steal things while they are watching him.” Jessika translated in a long suffering tone that sounded like it had taken years to perfect.

 

“And you'd miss me terribly of course.” Dameron interjected.

 

“Oh, am I really so transparent?” Jess mocked. The back and forth between them was familiar but almost relaxed. It seemed that, in Jess, Dameron had found at least one person who wouldn't swoon under his gaze. Jess turned back to Rey. “Hi. We've all heard a lot about you. Gosh, you really are pretty.”

 

Rey blinked and stuttered a thank you. The make-up, hairstyle and clothes from last night had been left behind this morning and she was back in her tunic, pants and cleanly scrubbed face.

 

“I hear you worked a bit on ships on Jakku. Any good with faulty condensers?”

 

Rey smirked as a means of reply.

 

 

**

 

 

The rest of the day was one of the most relaxed Rey had experienced since the First Order touched down in Jakku. Rey had the condenser rewired, tested and approved by Dameron in under half an hour and the four of them all worked on the plane to check it was up to scratch for when Dameron and Jess would be going home.

 

Jess and Rey worked on the fuel gage while Dameron and Finn checked the runway wheels. Apparently Jess had noticed the attraction too.

 

(“They've been mooning over each other since the day they first met.” Jess sighed. “Still nothing though. They keep dancing around each other which isn't like Poe.”

 

“It's sweet.” Rey smiled.

 

“It was sweet four months ago. Now it's just annoying.” Jess grumbled. “I've tried everything save for hitting them both around the head with a spanner. Boys can be dense.”)

 

The work felt good and almost comforting to Rey. As much as she had hated the means of surviving on Jakku, her work had become something she knew and trusted. She could fix things, pull them apart and make them work again just from her knowledge. It was good to have a sense of control again. At one point when she was checking the engine to make sure it was at high capacity, Jess had left her to it. Jess seemed observant enough to know Rey was in the zone and to not interrupt.

 

The doors to the hanger were open and the sun was setting by the time she had finished. Dusky clouds and waning shadows were a beautiful sight for Rey.

 

Dameron, Finn and Jess praised her work and invited her for a drink down in the kitchens but Rey declined. She liked all of them but she wasn't quite used to the constant company of people. She needed a few hours to reset herself. Company could be a bit exhausting.

 

She took a scenic walk through the gardens to enjoy the last of the sunlight. The air was a little chilly but it added to the atmosphere for Rey.

 

She brushed her hand along the bushes as she walked through the labyrinth and mazes when he finger brushed something hard. Stopping, she pushed some of the ivy away. Beneath of fingers was a steel texture. Further inspection revealed it was a locked door.

 

Rey was intrigued. It looked from the growth all over it that it hadn't been opened or even acknowledged for many years. Pushing it and trying to find a lock pad proved fruitless. The wall was high up at about ten feet but Rey was skilled at climbing.

 

Peaking her head over the wall, she felt almost disappointed but intrigued. The area was closed off and contained trees, statues and grass but that’s where the similarities to the enormous gardens she liked to walk ended. It's abandonment was clear from the dead weeds, overgrown shrubs and general air of neglect. A private garden long forgotten.

 

Curiosity sated, Rey let herself down and walked back to the palace. Her eyes kept glancing back at the hidden area that only she now knew was there.

 

***

 

Rey had just climbed the first stairs when she nearly collided with someone. She went to apologise then saw who it was and thought better of it.

 

Bezine Netal's eyes ran up and down Rey's form slowly. Rey stood all the straighter for it.

 

“I've heard many things about you. Many stories. Such… interesting ones.” Her voice was lazy, almost purring like a cat, soft yet with the potential to show claws. Her grace was feline in sorts as well as she circled Rey. She clearly wanted a full inspection.

 

“All the best stories are interesting.” Rey proclaimed.

 

“Scavenger. Orphan. Jedi Descent. Practically a child. Yes, you could certainly call it interesting.” Rey looked at the woman who had come to stand in front of her. To a man, she could be like an unattainable fantasy. To Rey, she was nothing short of toxic.

 

“You were Ren's lover.”

 

“I was.” The smugness in Bezine's tone wasn't lost on Rey.

 

“Must have been fun.” Rey remarked drily.

 

“Oh, it was. Such fun. We are alike, him and I. The darkness we have… it likes to seek out company.”

 

“I'm sorry such fun had to end then.” Rey replied. “I had heard that you had lost that position not too long ago.”

 

Bezine's eyes flashed but her mouth turned upwards into a smile.

 

“I must admit,” Bezine drawled, “I was a little afraid. And angry. No woman likes what is theirs to be taken from them. I was expecting a vision to appear at court last night. Glowing with power and grace. Imagine my relief when instead you turned up in your funny coat.”

 

“I'd mind your tongue if I were you.” Rey spoke behind gritted teeth. “I am to be your Queen after all.”

 

“The crown of the galaxy isn't on your head yet, my dear.” Bezine replied. “It's a heavy weight. Needs a strong head. And a prepared one.”

 

Bezine passed her and descended the stairs. Rey could only watch as she left her on the first floor. “Pleasant dreams, Miss Kenobi.”

 

 

**

 

 

Rey ran down the corridors as soon as Bezine was out of sight. The woman herself was long gone but she ran all the same. She wanted to run from the confidence of the dark assassin. From her obvious knowledge. From her beauty. From her cunning. She wanted as much distance between them as possible.

 

The night had fallen and she followed the passages that had light in them without thinking. It was only when she felt sufficiently far from Bezine's words that she noticed the corridor she was in was dark.

 

It was with a jolt that she realised that it was the one she had witnessed this morning.

 

The North Sector. Ren's quarters.

 

She should go back. She knew she should. If she was caught here, she would be in a hell of a lot of trouble. But it felt like it was calling to her. An energy that made her steps move forward and not back.

 

The mess had been cleaned up and there were no longer and signs of destruction. The further down she went, the more she could see. She was soon stood beneath one of the large pictures she had seen the night before.

 

It was a painting of a man and a woman. The man had quite long, brown hair and a look of youthful arrogance on his face. He was tall and wore the garb of a Jedi. The woman was young and even through a painting was beautiful. Her dress was elaborate as was her hair yet it didn't take away from her beauty. She was pink cheeked and young.

 

Rey knew enough to know who these two were.

 

Anakin Skywalker and his wife, Queen Padme Amidala.

 

The portrait next to it was of a similar design but terrible condition. It looked as though the image had been slashed. Rey could make out a woman who looked a lot like the Queen in the last painting. Same long brown hair, Queenly demeanour, and strength. Rey reached up and pushed the slash pieces together to see the other occupant of the frame. Again, in ways, he was similar to the man in the opposite frame. Tall, handsome, with an arrogance to his face. This individual wore clothing more casual though and had an almost devil-may-care look about him. Something about him made Rey smile back at him a little.

 

Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa. The General herself. Ren's parents.

 

Letting go of the picture, she looked at the door that Maz had disappeared into.

 

On its own accord, it opened.

 

Rey couldn't turn back now if she wanted to.

 

The rooms were completely devoid of light. And furniture. It was almost like her holding cell when she had first been taken. She took one step at a time as she walked in the shadows.

 

The feeling was still there. Guiding her.

 

_Keeping going. Straight ahead._

 

She walked into a room which was dimly lit but enough for her to see at least. And she did see.

 

Primarily a melted mask.

 

Rey gaped in horror. She had never seen holopictures of Darth Vader but had heard enough descriptions to know the despot. The mask was warped and the mouth piece had stretched and become distorted. The hollow eyes were the stuff of nightmares.

 

It called to her but not in a good way. And it wasn't what had called her to the rooms.

 

Tearing her eyes down, she saw a box beneath the lectern that the mask was set upon. Kneeling down, she opened the box, almost dreading what she was going to see.

 

It was relief and awe that punched her chest. A silver tubular instrument with a button on the side.

 

A lightsaber.

 

This wasn't Ren's. His was black and had cross-guards. This only held the one. It was hypnotic. Rey reached a finger forward to touch it.

 

_Lights appeared from everywhere and in quick succession. Rey didn't know where to look first._

 

_Fire. Fire everywhere. Screams of rage. A woman on the ground, motionless. A man consumed by grief before the building came down around him._

 

_Another man. Hidden away. Experiencing grief of his own. So much potential. Gone. All gone._

 

_A monster made into a machine fighting a man he didn't know to love or despise. The monster is struck down. Realisation. A vow to make it right before death._

 

_The General watching as a teenage boy suffered what she couldn't stop from happening._

 

_A man pleading with the boy now a grown man to come home. Rejection. Rage. A red blade stops the older man. A look of acceptance and then the long fall down into nothing._

 

Rey let out a cry as the blade came closer and fell to the floor. Looking around desperately, she realised that she was back in the dimly lit room. And the blade was held by a man in a mask that she had grown to hate.

 

“I told you never to come here.” His rage was evident.

 

Rey could only stare at him. The man on the bridge. Han Solo. He'd…

 

“You killed him.” Rey whispered.

 

The blade in his hand shock. Fury, fear, grief, it was all palpable to Rey.

 

“Do you realise what you could have done? What you could have done to _me?”_ The last word was practically scream through the visor.

 

Rey shot to her feet. She should be terrified but the adrenaline from the vision was making her vibrate with her own anger.

 

He was a monster.

 

“Get out!” Ren screamed.

 

She didn't need telling twice. She ran faster than she ever had.

 

His voice screamed behind her. “Out! Out! I want you _out_!”

 

With her feet and heart pounding, she flew to her rooms.

 

Screw the deal. She was getting out of here. Right now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know.
> 
> Comments and kudos are love. And I really do love you all.


	11. Into The Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!
> 
> The amount of feedback has been overwhelming and it's all so appreciated. Thank you so much. I'm loving how much people despise Bazine (that's the point of her) and I think they will like this chapter as a result. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey had to punch in the entrance code to her quarters three times due to her shaking. She hurtled into the rooms and towards her bedroom. Wrenching open the bedside drawer of her cabinet, she grabbed hold of the food she had scurried away and bawled it up into a long scarf. Knotting it and tying it to her belt, she looked around desperately for anything else she might need. It was only then she noticed her staff was lying on her bed. C3-P0 must have finally got round to retrieving it for her. She had asked enough times. Perfect timing for her.

 

Running to the windows, she tried to find the latch to get them to open. It didn't take long for desperation to take hold. She launched her staff at the glass, causing it to shatter. Knocking the shards out of the way, she squeezed through the ledge and made the descent into the grounds. As soon as her feet were on the ground, she ran as far and as fast as she could.

 

She didn't look back at the palace. She didn't see the three figures watching her disappear.

 

One with sinking disappointment.

 

One with staggering regret.

 

And one with the taste of opportunity in her mouth.

 

 

**

 

 

The gardens were larger than she had ever explored so it took her several minutes of running before she was even out of the grounds. Rey found herself dashing through the flowers and into a forest. It was vast, dark and endless but she kept going. The adrenaline pumping through her body stopped her limbs from ceasing their speed. She was well within the depths of the trees when her need to breathe took hold. Leaning against a tree, she gasped in as many breaths as she could. Sweat had plastered her hair to her head.

 

Minutes passed and her heart began to beat a bit more normally. Looking around, she saw only darkness and trees. She didn't have a clue where she was or where she was going.

 

Now she was away from the palace, reason was coming back to her and it wasn't drawing a very comforting picture. She had food but no money. She could sleep under a tree for the night if needs be but it didn't protect her from the elements. And what after that? She couldn't live in a tree for the rest of her life.

 

She could keep walking when it was light. Find a place where there were civilians, human or alien, it didn't matter. See if she can use her Force abilities to coax someone into giving her a ship. But where then?

 

The Resistance wanted to befriend her, Poe had said as much, but he wasn't so kind as to divulge their base. And, more importantly, he wouldn't have a clue where she was either. Even if he was the best pilot in the Resistance, he couldn't find one tiny human girl with just a plane. Not even with Jess's help.

 

Rey slumped down against the tree, gripping her staff for inner strength. She had been in worse situations that this before. She was a survivor. She could survive this. This planet was much less harsh than Jakku. But were the planet's occupants? Was she now considered an enemy of the First Order? Were there Stormtroopers approaching at this very moment? Would Kylo exact the same fate on her as he had his own father?

 

Rey winced. The vision had been very forthcoming about Han Solo's fate. He had not been seen for many years but many argued that he wasn't a man to stay in one place for long. The General and himself were rumoured to have had a tempestuous relationship. Did she grieve him with the same passion in which she had fought with him? And did she still love her son in spite of his actions? Rey felt vindictive in hoping she didn't. How could she forgive that?

 

Rey was better off alone.

 

It was just a pity she wasn't.

 

“I wasn't expecting you to make it _quite_ so easy.”

 

Rey whipped around. If the sight of Bazine Netal circling her in the palace had been unwelcome, it was nothing compared to seeing her now. With four Stormtroopers at her back.

 

“Have you come to arrest me?” Rey spat, gripping her staff, ready for action.

 

“'Arrest you'? That would be slightly time-consuming, wouldn't it?” Bazine replied.

 

“He's all yours!” Rey announced. “I want no part in any of this. You can have the damn crown. If it means a lifetime with him, you're welcome to it.”

 

“Ah. Well, as sweet as your generosity is, it's not quite that easy.” Bazine drawled, arching a harsh eyebrow.

 

“I'm leaving. How can it be any easier?” Rey demanded.

 

“Because you see,” Bazine approached, leaving her little gang behind her. Rey backed away with every step forward, “it's not up to us. It's up to him. And for some unknown reason, he seems quite taken with you.”

 

“Well, he's doing an excellent job of hiding it.”

 

“He wants you for a wife. Your name holds power. But you do as well. He… he finds you intriguing. He has compassion for you. I'm even starting to suspect… he may even like you.”

 

Gentle words. Delivered with a disgusted tone. As though the concept of these things was not only lost on Bazine but repugnant.

 

“I'm sure you can ease his broken ego.” Rey offered.

 

“Oh I've tried. Whenever I have left before, he has waited for me. Welcomed me back even if he is always initially angry with me. But this time… he won't even see me.” Bazine's eyes were sparkling dangerously. “You left the throne room that night and I went to him. He...” Her face was twisted with the memory. Rey could only watch. “He turned me away. Seemed bemused as to why I would even approach him.”

 

Rey couldn't help but stare at this woman.

 

“If you care so much, why leave him?” Rey didn't quite understand love having never had it but the number one rule in her book was never leave them behind.

 

“I had targets to dispose of. And it is good to keep men interested.”

 

“Did he have any say in whether that was a good way to keep him interested?” Rey demanded.

 

“It would invalidate the point, you foolish girl.” Bazine hissed. Some of her calm demeanour was slipping with her rage. Rey grimaced.

 

“So, he finally stops letting you play by only your rules and you don't like it?”

 

“He had no complaints at the time.”

 

“Maybe because he didn't care enough to complain.” Bazine stepped forward but Rey would not back away this time. “What's worse Bazine? Losing him to a scavenger girl? Or losing him because he didn't care enough to be kept?”

 

Bazine slowly pulled the dagger from her belt and pointed it at Rey.

 

“Regardless of him, I will get what I want. And the best way to do so is to make sure you are permanently disposed of.”

 

Rey held her staff in a fighting stance. Bazine may be an assassin but that didn't mean she was going to make it easy.

 

“Why do you need them then?” Rey nodded her head to Stormtroopers.

 

“Back-up. Always best to be prepared. Normally I use a Kanjiklub Gang but they will do. Fighters are so easy to manipulate.”

 

Rey reminded herself, if she ever saw her again, to remind Phasma to rethink the reconditioning techniques. They clearly didn't work too well.

 

“Screw that. You want to kill me? Do it yourself.”

 

“Oh trust me. I want the pleasure.” Bazine made a gesture with her hand to the Stormtroopers which probably meant 'Stay'.

 

Rey and Bazine circled each other and then advanced.

 

Rey had a lot of experience beating the living shit out of thugs but a lot less with assassins. She was able to block Bazine's jabs of her knife but the slim woman was fast and agile. She seemed to be treating it like a game. It just made Rey more determined to win.

 

For what felt like hours, Rey had been slashed at with the long knife and Bazine would receive hits from the end of her staff. Injuries were sustained by both but not enough to gain a victory.

 

It was with an under-leg kick that saw Rey finally lose her balance and pinned to the ground with Bazine on top of her.

 

Rey caught hold of the wrist that had Bazine's knife and used all her strength to keep it away from her. Bazine was equally matched to her and just as determined to carve her face. Her muscles were screaming and Rey could only watch as the knife started to slowly get closer…

 

Then suddenly Bazine was gone.

 

Sitting up, Rey looked to her right. Bazine seemed to have flown off of her and into a tree with a powerful force. The woman had only had a chance to give a quick scream before colliding with the unforgiving wood and crumpling to the forest floor.

 

Rey looked to where the unexpected aid had come from. And saw a red glow.

 

The Stormtroopers had clearly had the same idea and had all been cut down by Kylo Ren's sabre. The dark figure stepped over the fallen men and advanced towards her. Rey was a perfect mixture of grateful and scared.

 

Clutching her side, Bazine staggered up. Ren had positioned himself so he was blocking Rey from Bazine. Like he was protecting her.

 

“I never had you down as a hero, Ren.” Bazine hissed.

 

“I never had you down as anything other than what you were: an assassin.” Ren replied. “I should never have allowed you back into the palace.”

 

“She doesn't want you.” Bazine taunted. “You repulse her. She can never give you what I can. She doesn't understand the darkness.”

 

“And you will never understand the Force. I would have trained her so she could take out ten of you with a flick of her wrist. And what will you be? A mercenary?” Ren stepped closer and said with a dangerous softness: “You would have never gotten near my throne. Even if we hadn't found her. Never.”

 

Rey could only watch as Bazine gave a shriek of rage and ran at Ren. Ren grunted and then bought down his saber in a graceful sweep. It was a quick end for Bazine.

 

Rey looked at Ren. He turned away from Bazine's lifeless form and looked at Rey. She was still sitting on the ground. He took a step forward but then stopped. He looked like he was swaying.

 

Then Rey saw the handle of Bazine's knife embedded in his side.

 

He went down quickly and went still upon the ground.

 

Rey flew to her feet and, for a moment, considered running away. For all she knew Ren had come out to the forest to find her and finish her off. Or drag her back for an even worse punishment. This could be her one chance of freedom.

 

But…

 

He'd saved her life.

 

She knelt at his side. Even now she hesitated to touch him. When she did lay a hand on his arm, she was surprised at how warm he was. It was a good sign.

 

She knew enough to know not to remove a weapon from the body as it risked him bleeding to death. Reaching for her belt, she let the stale food fall from her scarf and used the material to stop the flow of blood. It didn't do much but she had to do something.

 

She looked at his masked face and felt something else. He could die right here in the forest with her at his side and she didn't even know his face.

 

Rey knew she shouldn't but, damn it all, what harm could it do now?

 

It took several attempts to find the opening device on the side of his helmet. The mouth piece lifted and loosened enough for her to pull it off his head.

 

She didn't know what to expect. Maybe a mutilated and melted face like his grandfather.

 

Rey wasn't expecting what she saw.

 

Black thick hair that fell to his shoulders. A pale face speckled with freckles and moles. A large pair of lips, full and pink. Almost sensitive. Almost sensual. His nose was long and quite prominent. As were his ears. His eyes were closed so she couldn't see them.

 

She touched his hair and was shocked at how soft it was.

 

He was just a man. Not a monster. Not a despot. A young man.

 

The wind whipped around them both as Rey continued to stare at this brave new world before her and she didn't feel the change in the atmosphere until a glow caught the corner of her eye.

 

At first she thought she was going mad. Stood before her, slightly transparent and with a glow, stood a man she recognised. His physical features were the same as in the portrait. Same brown hair and Jedi garb. But the arrogance and entitlement in his features was absent. Instead lay a look of hard-earned wisdom and regret.

 

The ghost of Anakin Skywalker looked at her beseechingly.

 

“It's almost poetic that you would be the third.” Skywalker smiled sadly.

 

“What?” Rey couldn't be more confused if she tried.

 

“A Kenobi and a Skywalker. We are always meant to be together in some form.” Anakin looked at his grandson. “He will try and push you away when he wakes. Don't give up on him. He will need you.”

 

The young man started to fade away.

 

“Wait! What are you talking about? What do you mean? _What do you mean_?!” Rey cried but to no avail. By the end of her cries, he had already vanished.

 

Before she could scream in frustration, another light from the other side of the trees illuminated both of them. Rey could see spotlights. A ship was coming. Quickly, Rey grabbed Ren's discarded mask and, as gently as she could, slipped it back over his head.

 

She waved her arms desperately to show where they were. She could have cried with relief when Maz came marching through the trees with several helpers behind her.

 

No-one asked any questions when they were loading Ren into a medi-capsule. The only indication Rey had that Maz knew anything was when Maz discreetly refastened a clip on Ren's helmet that Rey hadn't got around to doing. When Rey looked at her, Maz looked back with understanding.

 

“Later, child. Let us get him back. And then I shall tell you everything.”

 

 

**

 

 

The medi-droids worked on Ren to heal his wounds in his private chambers. Rey was left waiting in her rooms as Finn applied bacta to her own cuts and bruises. He asked her what happened but soon deduced that Rey was too overwhelmed to talk about it just yet. It was half true. Rey didn't know where to start or even what to tell. She didn't even understand what had happened herself.

 

C3-P0 urged Rey to rest but Rey refused to listen to him this time. She sat on the settee in the living quarters and waited until BB8 was sent by Maz to go and get her.

 

Rey followed BB8 down to the kitchens where Maz was waiting for her. It was the middle of the night so the kitchens were empty and dark. Only a small light above the kitchen table was on.

 

Rey sat down as Maz poured them both a drink. It looked strong and Rey was in no doubt it was needed.

 

“Is he okay?” She asked.

 

“He will be.” Maz replied, screwing the cap back on the bottle. “The medi-droids are still working on him. They are confident that they can replace the blood he lost and minimise any internal damage. He will have a nasty scar but that will be the most of it.”

 

Rey nodded. Despite everything, she felt relieved.

 

“You've seen his face.” Maz said it matter-of-factly.

 

“Yes.” Rey whispered.

 

“And Vader came to you, didn't he.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Maz took a deep drink.

 

“I want to know what's going on.” Rey proclaimed. “I want to know what has happened to Ren. And the whole family. I want to know what 'you are the third' is supposed to mean. And I want to know _now_.”

 

Maz topped up her drink.

 

“In order to do that, child, I will have to take you back fifty years. In short, we need to go back to the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback are like portions on Jakku.


	12. A Tale of Loss and Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kriffin hell! Thank you so much for the feedback. It's left me beaming. 
> 
> I worked pretty hard on this and I hope it works with the themes of the story. I think I've covered everything. 
> 
> One thing I am leaving out is Snoke. I feel Ren's got enough problems to be honest and I'm not a fan of Snoke to be fair. 
> 
> I wrote this while listening to 'Lily's Theme' by Alexandre Desplat
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

“What do you know about the Skywalkers?” Maz asked.

 

“Enough. I know about Vader killing his wife and all that stuff.”

 

“Hmm. Well, that is true but it's not the whole story.”

 

“What is the whole story then?” Rey asked, taking a sip of drink. She had been right: it was strong stuff.

 

“Anakin Skywalker married Padme Amidala when he was a Jedi apprentice and she was the reigning Queen. Their marriage was as controversial as you would expect. Anakin wasn't permitted the power he believed was his due so he turned elsewhere for it: Palpatine.”

 

Rey nodded and tried not to show any frustration. Everyone knew this even on Jakku.

 

“What is not so well known was that Padme also turned elsewhere for help and support. And there was only one person left in her life who she could trust completely – your grandfather Obi Wan Kenobi.”

 

Rey leant forward with her elbows on the table. Maz calmly took another sip of her drink on the other side of the table.

 

“Obi Wan could see what was happening to his apprentice. Padme tried to get him to help turn Anakin back. She had just found out she was pregnant with Luke and Leia and she was vulnerable. Between the two of them, they worked together to try and pacify the young man. Without much success. If anything, their partnership alienated him even further. Anakin had always had an underlying resentment for his Master. He felt he was not treated fairly in terms of his abilities and now he felt that his wife, who he did love, was siding with him. Not only that he felt they were spending an unprecedented amount of time together. His resentment turned to jealousy.”

 

“He… he thought they were having an affair?” Rey gaped.

 

“Not a physical one to begin with but he believed that their feelings were getting the better of them. Maybe even straying from the boundaries of friendship into a more grey area. It was more than Skywalker could stand. In the end, Obi Wan left Naboo on his own accord and tried to put as much distance between them as he could. He knew that their relationship was much too fractured to be repaired by his own hand and Palpatine had done a superb job of dripping poison in his ear.

 

“The Jedi council had had their suspicions about the Senator for a long time but, it was when his influence on Anakin became all too apparent, they were soon certain. They didn't have the power to control the young Jedi any longer. Not after he had been dismissed from the academy following his marriage but they could take on the Senator. Or so they thought.

 

“They were killed. Every one of them. Except two. Obi Wan himself and Master Yoda.

 

“Master Yoda battled Palpatine, now calling himself the Emperor, for dominance but it ended in a stalemate and Yoda going into exile. Obi Wan considered battling Anakin but was instead called by Padme.

 

“She had just had her children and knew the crimes her love had committed. She'd been passive long enough. So she charged Obi Wan with one last task: take the children and hide them.”

 

Rey watched as Maz adjusted the lenses of her goggles in a weary gesture.

 

“He took them, I take it?” Rey asked.

 

“Of course. They were powerful in the Force and his loyalty to Padme meant he would do this last request for her. He probably believed it would only be for a short time and then they would go home to their mother.

 

“No sooner had the shuttle left the base with himself and the two babes did Anakin find out what she had done. He lost control of his rage and took it out on her.”

 

“He murdered her.”

 

“He killed her, yes, but I don't believe he meant to. If he had planned it, what happened next would make no sense.”

 

“What did happen?” Rey asked breathlessly.

 

“When Anakin had seen what he had done, he lost what was left of his mind. He flew into madness and grief. He blamed Obi Wan for what had befallen his family. And then, he jumped to a conclusion, that Padme would only give her children to their father. And therefore the twins were not his.”

 

Rey's eyes bulged.

 

“But… but they were. Weren't they?” Her heart was pounding.

 

“Of course they were. Padme was absolutely besotted with her husband. Even when she had to act against him, it was only for love of their children, not out of hatred for him. Besides a midi-chlorian check on The General before she ascended the throne proved without doubt she was Skywalker's daughter.

 

“His fury caused the Force to manifest inside him and explode. He made a pledge. A curse. That the children in Obi Wan's arms and their male descendants would never know peace. Would never experience love. He meant to curse the descendants of the Kenobi line, which by extension would have meant you, but he didn't say those words. He said 'the children in Obi Wan's arms'.”

 

“So he cursed his own family by accident?”

 

“Exactly. The power was enough to blow up the palace and send it crashing down on top of him. He was burnt beyond recognition. The Force was still pulsing out of him at the time. As a result, that became the main part of the curse. Vader became a man hidden in a suit of armour. And now his descendants would too.”

 

Maz topped up her glass for the third time.

 

“Leia went to live with royalty loyal to the Republic cause. Luke was sent to Tattooine to live with his other family. Obi Wan stayed close by. Padme's death and Anakin's fate left him broken but the fate that awaited the children left him appalled. He felt responsible and stayed close to Luke.”

 

“How did the curse work?”

 

“It came into effect on their twentieth birthday. The year that he met Padme again.”

 

“What happened to Luke? Why did they have to hide themselves? They weren't burnt or broken.” She remembered the young man's face that she had seen lying unconscious in her lap. His porcelain skin didn't have so much as a blemish. He could have been carved from marble.

 

“Obi Wan came when he was nineteen to prepare him for what was to happen and to begin his training. Luke commissioned a suit of his own that covered all of his skin from view. By the time, his twentieth birthday came he was as prepared as he could be.” Maz leant forward and looked right into Rey's eyes. “Has it never struck you as odd that not an inch of flesh has ever been seen from Ren?” Rey tried to think but had to agree. She had never even seen him with gloves off until tonight.

 

“If anyone ever laid eyes on his face or body, he would experience pain. Agonising pain. Luke told me it was like a fire had been lit under the skin. To mask himself was to save him from that.

 

“Obi Wan finally faced Vader and was struck down. Luke found out the truth of his parentage from Vader himself. Coming into his presence alerted Vader to the Force bond between them. And Luke came to learn of his mother's fate from Obi Wan. He also reunited with Leia as his twin though they had battled together for many years.

 

“Vader and Luke finally faced each other. Luke could still sense a piece of goodness in him. He refused to kill Vader so the Emperor tried to finish him. And Vader finally realised his error. Any doubt that Luke was his son disappeared and he sacrificed himself.

 

“Vader tried to lift the curse but he was too weak from his injuries. So he added something of a clause to the curse.”

 

“What clause?” Rey whispered.

 

“Instead of an eternity with this fate, he allowed them three people who could look upon them. All of them, to touch and live and be human with. Three people for the three he had loved and wronged: Padme, Luke and Leia. If the male descendant proved himself capable of a true, unselfish act of pure sacrifice for one of the three and have that person prove their love for them, the curse would lift. If not, it would pass down through the generation until the world implodes.

 

“It was all Vader had the strength to do and Luke took it. He died seconds later.”

 

Rey stared at Maz then poured the contents of her glass down her throat. Grimacing, she asked:

 

“So what happened after that?”

 

“Leia ascended the throne and was able to see her brother's face for the first time. The three Luke chose were her, Han and, when he was born, Ben.”

 

“Ben?”

 

“He didn't always go by the name Kylo Ren.”

 

Ben. There was a softness to the name. _Ben_. It didn't strike fear or deference. No wonder he didn't use it.

 

“Did Luke never try and find love?”

 

“He felt he had no use of it. He was tempted for a time if only to ease the suffering of generations. To save his nephew. But it was hopeless. Luke was born to be a Jedi and he believed in adhering to the rules of the old temple. He felt affection hindered him so he used the mask and armour as an advantage. Eventually he opted for a life of solitude. He lives completely alone on an island now. It's said Leia visits him once a year.”

 

“What about Ren?”

 

“Ren...” Maz sighed, “Ren trained in the ways of a Jedi. He wanted to master the power and be as powerful as Vader. As you can imagine that just made people nervous. Ren wasn't neutral enough to be a Jedi. He was passionate, impatient, fiery. No amount of preparing could brace him for what would come. Locking himself away killed the light inside him. The darkness blossomed. He took the throne as was his birthright. And he became too much to handle.”

 

“Han was the first to see him without his helmet after he turned twenty. Some sort of cosmic joke as they weren't close. They were the furthest thing from it. The bond between mother and son was stronger. Not that he would ever admit it.

 

“Han pleaded with Ren to turn away from the darkness and to let himself and his mother back in. Ren believed attachment had to be severed. And you saw what happened.”

 

Rey felt the tears drip down her face but didn't try and hide them. She was too tired and overwhelmed. She never anticipated such a mess.

 

“It was meant to make him stronger. But it didn't. He was weakened and sickened by his actions. He wanted to be like Vader but he wasn't dark enough. He was never evil. He wouldn't hate himself so much if he was. After that, he refused to see anyone. He accepted that he would live and die in a mask. He believes he deserves it. His mother was sent away. He has left the general enforcement of his reign to Hux and his cronies. He fights his mother's attempts with the Resistance only out of habit now. And pride. He's a shadow of who he was. And who he could be.”

 

“How did you get to see him?”

 

“Again, a total accident. He was hunting for a man who had worked against the First Order and came across my castle. It was a watering hole but a good one and he ended up destroying it. I was bought on board his ship for information but I managed to get out of my cell. A similar trick that you played as a matter of fact,” Maz smirked, “anyway I felt something call to me. I went to his chambers. And I saw him as you did. Anakin's ghost appeared to me as it did you. I was the second.”

 

“What did he do?”

 

“He was furious. But I refused to leave him. Despite all he had done, even to my friend, his father, I saw only a boy trying to be a man.”

 

“Is that why you go to him when he has a rage?”

 

“Of course. He knows I won't betray him. Despite everything, I think he has learnt how to trust me.”

 

“And now...”

 

“And now, there is you. You're the third.”

 

Rey knew. Of course she knew. But it didn't stop the stone from dropping into her stomach.

 

“Bazine… she never...”

 

“No. Kylo is many things but he's not a fool. He never trusted her enough for that. She was company and she seemed unafraid of him. It must have been quite refreshing.”

 

“I was under the impression that they had...” Rey tried not to go pink.

 

“They did.” Maz nodded as though they were discussing whether Finn had finished his cleaning duties.

 

“But how...”

 

“I assumed that they just moved aside the sufficient clothing. And there are potions Ren has to lessen the pain to a more tolerable ache. Besides, the face is always the most excruciating. And that's the one that really counts. His helmet never came off for her.”

 

Rey grimaced. It sounded so clinical. But then again that’s what Ren's life had become.

 

Maz leant forward. “You still have a choice, you know.”

 

“No I don't.” Rey knew enough to know that.

 

“But you do. You can walk away if it's what you want. If I know Ren, he will try and push you away anyway.”

 

“Well, tough. Because I'm staying.” Rey snapped.

 

How could she leave him now? When he was a creature in a mask, easy. Now she knew how he come to be what he is…

 

“Take me to him.” Rey ordered. “I want to see him.”

 

 

**

 

 

Ren's chambers were still dark but there was a little bit of light now. Rey followed Maz down a hallway. Ren's bedroom was almost devoid of human influence. There were no photos, trinkets or mess. Just a large bed, a desk and a chair. And a six foot three, large man lying on the bed.

 

The droids had bandaged his wound but had left the helmet on his head. Rey supposed in his unconscious state it was safe to see some of his flesh.

 

Maz gently undid the clasps and removed the helmet, setting it down on the night-stand. Rey could only stare at the man before her. He was still unconscious but would undoubtedly come around soon enough.

 

She sat herself in the chair next to his bed and prepared to wait it out.

 

It gave her more than enough time to contemplate his face.

 

There was something striking about him. Some may not deem him conventionally handsome but many would deem him desirable nonetheless. Rey couldn't help but count the freckles on his face. A part of her almost wanted to touch the skin on his cheek to see if it was as smooth as it looked. She wasn't feeling that brave right now.

 

Within about half an hour, Ren started to stir. Rey kept perfectly still as he grimaced in pain before letting his eyes flutter open. He looked around at his room, no doubt wondering how he got there, before spotting Rey sitting next to him.

 

The expression of shock, disbelief and horror were evident in his eyes.

 

He tried to sit upright with all the gestures pointing towards him trying to get away from her, but his injured side put that idea to rest.

 

“Maz!” His voice wasn't distorted or mechanical any more; it was much worse.

 

Maz came in quickly and held up a hand.

 

“Ren. Calm yourself, it's alright.”

 

“What the hell's she doing here? Where's my mask?”

 

“Ren… she's already seen. She's the third.”

 

His eyes were so dark they were almost black. There was a power behind them and they were almost hypnotic. Now though, they were filled with despair and, worst still, devastation.

 

He really didn't want anyone to see him, did he?

 

The grief turned to rage pretty quickly.

 

“I want her out. Get her out now!”

 

“No.” Rey didn't recognise her voice but was glad it sounded stronger than she felt.

 

“You were pretty keen to leave earlier. I should have left you to Bazine. Now get out!” He roared.

 

“No!” Rey cried. “You wanted me here, I'm here. You don't like it now? Tough. I'm staying.” And to illustrate the point, she crossed her arms and legs in her chair.

 

Ren looked like he wanted to throw her, chair and all, out the door with his bare hands. Being incapacitated in a bed played havoc with that desire though. So Rey had to endure him grinding his teeth and looking at her like she had just insulted his grandmother.

 

“You had no right to remove my helmet. Or to enter my rooms without permission.” He spat.

 

“You're right. I didn't and I'm sorry for that. But you had no right keeping all of this from me either.” Rey insisted.

 

“Your family has caused mine enough grief.” Ren snarled.

 

“As has yours to mine.” Rey snapped. “Unlike you, I don't intend to live in the past.”

 

“Oh, I'm sorry(!) I don't remember my grandfather putting a curse on you!”

 

“It wasn't for lack of trying.” Rey hissed.

 

“Enough!” Maz cried. “You're both not helping.” Sighing and putting her hands on her hips, she looked at them both. “The two of you need to talk together properly. There will be time enough to hurl insults at each _after_ you're married.”

 

Ren stopped glaring at Rey long enough to look at Maz.

 

“What are you talking about?” Ren snapped. “She's not going to marry me now!”

 

“Says who?” Rey asked. Ren looked at her again. “A deal is a deal and I'm still here, aren't I?”

 

“I don't want your pity.” Ren snapped.

 

“You saved my life.” Rey insisted. “I can't ignore that.”

 

“Try a bit harder.” Ren muttered.

 

“Ren...” Maz's tone promised another few cracked ribs but Rey held up her hand.

 

“Maz, give us a minute.”

 

The tiny orange woman left them alone in the room. Taking a deep breath, Rey looked at Ren.

 

“I think we can make this work.” Rey explained.

 

“Why?” Ren demanded.

 

“Because we've both been alone long enough. We may not like each other but we can work together just like you said. You need a Queen and, whether you like it or not, you need an ally.”

 

“And what do you get out of all this?”

 

“A home. And maybe an ally too.”

 

Ren's eyes were still scrutinising but a little less harsh.

 

“I'm sick of fighting the world. I like having friends. And I think we could be friends.” Rey admitted.

 

“I don't have friends.” Ren stated.

 

“Neither did I until I came here.” Rey shrugged.

 

“Oh yes, _Dameron_.” He said it like a swear word.

 

“He's nice to me. And kind. And I don't have to defend my choice in friends to you.”

 

“Nor do I have to defend my choices to you.” Ren snapped.

 

Rey grit her teeth and forced herself to breathe calmly.

 

_He'll try and push you away._

 

He was certainly making a valiant effort so far.

 

“I'm still valuable. And you said yourself that I have potential.”

 

Ren didn't say anything to that. His eyes were still as black as coal. There was a wariness, an unwillingness to believe her, a refusal even.

 

“We've still got about three weeks until we get married. We should at least know each other a bit better. But I'm not putting up with your temper.”

 

Ren's eyes flashed. “Anything else?”

 

“Thank you. For saving me.”

 

Ren looked at her. The look in his eyes was unreadable.

 

“You're welcome. But don't ever try and leave again. Or you won't be allowed back.”

 

They sat together in silence contemplating each other.

 

It wasn't perfect but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments = 60 portions!


	13. Breaking Barriers and Bread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys never cease to amaze me. To my loyal reviewers, thank you so much and I adore you for your support. For all the new readers, kudos and reviewers, a kiss to each of you. 
> 
> I've been enjoying the new Lego Star Wars game a bit too much. I've wasted two days off work running around as BB8.
> 
> I wrote this listening to "Sound of Silence" by Disturbed. It's perfect for Kylo Ren in any universe and represents the loneliness he feels.

Rey didn't see Ren again that day. The adrenaline, intrigue and shocks of the previous day had worn out her body completely and she didn't fight C3-P0 when he ushered her to bed. Her eyes itched and stung as C3-P0 tucked her blankets around her as best he could and yet she couldn't close them. The game had changed so much and she couldn't help but wonder what else could happen if she succumbed to something as simple as sleep.

 

Maybe Maz and Hux would declare their undying love for each other and then the world would explode. It was clear nothing was impossible in this place.

 

Not a monster; a man. A living, breathing, cursed, black haired, pale skinned man.

 

The prospect of befriending him made her head spin even more than it already was. He seemed determined to live as lonely a life as possible. Which, being his wife-to-be, would mean she would live a lonely life by default.

 

To hell with that.

 

She didn't last so long on a barren planet like Jakku only to wither away to nothing because a prince with a psychotic grandfather wants to hide away.

 

With that last thought, Rey let her eyes close and slipped into the soothing embrace of sleep.

 

* * *

 

The wound fucking stung no matter how Kylo tried to lie. Maz had administered fresh bandages, creams and sleeping draughts methodically to try and ease the discomfort but Kylo could only grimace when he had to move in any form. By the next evening, he was exhausted and irritable.

 

Not to mention the general feeling of disbelief that things had spiralled out of control so quickly.

 

Bazine was dead by his hand. He would be dead by hers if she had succeeded in her final act. Rey had ran from him only to come back with him. And she'd seen his face and his grandfather. Which meant he would never be rid of her now. Not that he wanted to but the option would have been nice.

 

What was still completely staggering was her determination to still marry him. If she had any sense, she would have run off into the trees before Kylo had even hit the ground.

 

Maz had not said a word as she had taken care of him and for that he was grateful. She would either admonish him for scaring Rey off in the first place or spout some nonsense about how these things rarely happen for no reason. He was truly not in the mood for either.

 

Injuries like these weren't uncommon in Kylo's life. On the battlefield, he could work with the pain to fight harder. Pain was a great incentive to win. It wasn't so good when you needed to sleep.

 

Hux had come to the door to enquire as to Ren's health. He hadn't come into the rooms but his voice carried down the hall so Kylo could hear everything anyway. News had evidently got out about the events of the night. It wasn't concern that Hux showed towards his Lord but agitation at having to deal with other aspects of the palace and Ren's general rule on top of his usual duties.

 

Kylo's relationship with Hux was one of necessity; not friendship. Hux offered nothing more than order and a firm hand to his troops. A little too firm at times as there were moments when Kylo found himself disagreeing with Hux's single-minded ways of gaining absolute power for the empire. He never voiced them but he knew his mask could only hide so much and Hux's pale blue eyes were hawkish at times. In the end, Hux often had his way. The world saw him as a monster so he may as well play the part. It kept the rebellions at a minimum even with his mother still out there somewhere…

 

Ren was lying propped up on his pillows feeling something reminiscent of comfortable when the girl came back in the late evening.

 

She looked a little more rested and put together. Her insistence in dressing herself in rather plain tunics and pants hadn't ebbed away. If not for her freshly washed complexion and the lack of threadbare quality of her present outfit, you would not be able to tell the difference from the scavenger to the queen in waiting.

 

A small vindictive part of Ren considered greeting her with his mask firmly in place on his head. But that would require movement and he doubted that Maz would be willing to assist in that request.

 

The girl – Rey… she stayed on the threshold of his room, staring at him. To feel the eyes of another person, let alone a young girl, on his face after so long made him want to squirm. No doubt she found him lacking in some areas. His teenage years hadn't been fun.

 

After a while, he lost patience with her sudden shyness.

 

“It's not contagious. Just so you know.” He didn't know whether he meant his wound or his appearance.

 

Rey squared her shoulders and walked towards him. She sat herself in the chair she had occupied the previous night and rested her hands in her lap. She looked as uncomfortable as she had the night in the throne room when forced to sit beside him in front of the court.

 

“How… I mean, are you… okay?” She asked tentatively.

 

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “Peachy, thanks.”

 

Rey frowned. Her freckles were more pronounced and she had a tendency to grind her teeth when she was annoyed. There was something almost funny about watching her get angry. She looked so small and delicate that it reminded him a bit of an Ewok having a tantrum.

 

They _had_ helped his parents take out the shields of a Death Star though. And Bazine was known to kill her enemies in under twenty seconds so maybe it was a more accurate comparison than he originally thought.

 

“I thought we might discuss how we can start… working together in all this.” Rey declared.

 

Kylo stayed silent. The floor was hers on this one.

 

“We should try and spend some time together. Even if its just for a little while each day. Since I've been here I think I've seen you twice. And part of the deal was to see if I could do a good job as a Queen. How are you going to know that if you never see me?”

 

“I'm used to being alone.”

 

“So am I. Doesn't mean it's a nice way to live.”

 

Kylo stayed quiet. She had him there.

 

“We should eat together each night. Dinner is my favourite time of the day.” Kylo knew he wasn't paranoid to understand that what went unsaid was: “… so even you can't ruin it.”

 

“It will have to be here in my chambers.” Kylo announced.

 

“Obviously.”

 

“I would have thought you preferred spending time with your little kitchen worker friends.” Kylo couldn't help but sneer.

 

“I would.” Rey snapped back. For a girl who had only had friends for little more than a week, she was clearly protective of them. “But, at least if you have to eat, your helmet will have to stay off.”

 

Oh, she was good.

 

“You need to train your Force abilities. There is a reason you could sustain against Bazine for so long but there is so much you don't know. If you insist that we must spend time together, then we may as well be productive.”

 

Rey raised her eyebrows but didn't seem put off by his suggestion.

 

“Okay. I would like to learn.” Her face then tensed a little like she had to keep her resolve. “But you have to give me something too.”

 

“What?”

 

Wasn't agreeing to eat in her company enough?

 

“You have to answer a question. Any question. Whatever I want to know. Each night.”

 

Kylo tried to sit up but was forced to stay still when he couldn't contain a grunt of pain.

 

“For the love of the Force! You've seen my face. What more do you want? Blood?”

 

“Do it or you don't train me. And I know you want to just as much as I want to learn.” Rey's jaw was tense and Kylo wondered how she had any back teeth left. Something about the utter contempt on his face must have been too much for even the Scavenger to ignore. “I will answer one too. Just so it's fair. Any question.”

 

Kylo didn't see how any of this was fair but something told him this was as good as it was going to get. And she was right. He wanted to teach her. The power was practically thrumming off her the previous night in the woods and the thought of being the one to harness that power… He felt more anticipation than he had in years. Plus there was something about the girl that made him want to prove his power and strengths. He wanted to… win her round.

 

“Very well.” He said it so quietly she looked like she was wondering if she misheard. He wasn't going to repeat himself.

 

“Good.” She breathed clearly relieved and a little stunned that her approach had worked. She got up from her chair. “I'll let you rest then. Is there… anything you...” She trailed off at the look on Kylo's face. He may be agreeing to break bread with her but he wasn't about to appoint her his nursemaid. Sighing, she left him alone in his room. When the door closed, Ren let his eyes drift shut. For some inexplicable reason, he finally managed some sleep that night.

 

If the last thought that went through his mind before sleep took him was her hazel eyes looking at him with no disgust or hatred… well, he'd never admit it.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey was determined to have as nice a day as possible. She woke early and walked in the gardens with BB8 enjoying the early morning sun. She ate breakfast with Finn in the kitchens and listened to the little stories that Finn always seem privy to (and if they all seemed to include Poe in some form, then Rey was tactful enough not to mention it). She went to the hanger to help Poe and Jess fix a fault on the left wing of Jessika's rebel fighter plane. She took a long bath and added four different kinds of bubbles.

 

Her three friends seemed like they were literally clawing back questions from the tips of their tongues. She noticed more than once that Poe tended to frown when he glanced at the cut on her arm from Bazine's blade. Rey knew that something that normal people do with their friends is share experiences. Both good and bad.

 

Yet Rey couldn't help but feel protective of what happened that night. She knew her friends would paint Ren in a negative light for scaring her away in the first place. And somehow that didn't feel fair.

 

He was difficult, capricious, had anger problems and a chequered past.

 

But he wasn't evil.

 

A man doesn't risk his life to save someone else's if he was truly without redemption.

 

It didn't wash away the sins but it made the stain of them seem less potent.

 

Rey was torn between letting C3-P0 dress her up a bit more by styling her or turning up in her old scavenger dress. She didn't know whether she wanted to look like she was making an effort or making a point by looking as dishevelled as when they found her.

 

In the end, she went for the happy medium that was wearing one of her tunics and pants as usual and letting C3-P0 braid her hair. He wasn't as good at it as Maz but it was still smart.

 

Maz showed her into a room in Ren's chambers that she hadn’t ventured into before. There was the same air of neglect to it that had inhabited her own chambers when she had arrived. The rooms comprised of a long dining table with a chair at either end. It was clear Ren hadn't had company while he ate for a very long time.

 

The walls at the far end of the room were lined with holobooks. The blueish glow of them all lined up made the room more eerie than it already was. Rey tried to rectify it by open a window at the far end of the room. The sun had began to set and the sky was painted with swirls of pink, blue and yellow.

 

This place was truly beautiful. If Rey let the darkness take her, in any aspects of her life, she would be lost.

 

Ren walked in not long after. He held himself so stiffly that Rey could clearly see he was in pain even if the bacta administered allowed him to move up and about now. He was fully dressed in his usual garb. All except the mask.

 

His eyes flicked accusingly to the open window.

 

“It's one window. We're on the fourth floor. No-one's going to see.” Rey defended.

 

Ren didn't look in the least bit happy but sat down in the chair closest to him. Rey remained standing as Maz sent up their food through a hatch. Rey placed the plates on the table reverently. She'd not been without decent food but it was clear the kitchen staff worked extra hard to make sure their Monarch got the best portions of everything. There were meats so tender they were practically falling off the bones, ripe fruits with juices that would drip down your face at the first bite, potent wines and rolls of bread still hot from the oven. Rey wanted to dive face first into it all.

 

“Sit down. Eat. You clearly want to.” Ren instructed.

 

Rey went to sit down at the other end of the table then stopped. She could feel his dark eyes on her.

 

“What?”

 

“That chair is a bit far away.” Rey pointed out.

 

“Have your legs malfunctioned?” Ren quipped. She turned around and glared at him. There was the smallest quirk of his lips. He liked people to be angry with him, she realised. It was the one thing he could control: inspiring people's ire. Rey wondered what those lips would look like laughing. They would be too large for even some girls' faces but not him. They looked soft…

 

Rey shook herself quickly.

 

“The purpose of this is to try and find some common ground.” Rey reasoned. She'd worked hard on her argument and wasn't going to give up on it. She had got this far. “It will be hard to find that ground if I have to shout just for you to hear me.”

 

“Then move it” Rey smiled and stepped forward. “with your mind.” Rey stopped.

 

“What?”

 

“If you want to move closer, you can use your powers to do so. Move the chair.” Ren sat back in his seat as though expect a show. One Rey knew she wasn't capable of performing.

 

“You know I can't. You haven't even started teaching me yet!”

 

“I was moving things around this palace when I was four.”

 

“Well, good for you(!) I'm afraid Jakku didn't give me too many things to send flying around. Primarily because I had to sell those things to eat!”

 

“Those born with the Force have the ability to do anything they set their mind to. You don't believe you can therefore you can't.” Ren sounded almost smug. Rey would have thrown a bread roll at his head if she didn't believe in wasting good food. And if it wouldn't just lead to a comment about how Ren could probably do that with his mind.

 

“If insulting me is your best teaching method, I'm not impressed.” Rey snapped.

 

“It's a good first lesson to have: allow the Force to consume you and you will be able to direct it.” Rey could only stare back. “So that will be your first challenge: until that chair glides closer to me with only your powers, it won't move an inch.”

 

Rey ground her teeth together and sat down at the end of the table. The meal that followed was probably the tensest of her life. At least when she had eaten in Ren's presence on the Finalizer she was so convinced it was her last meal she hadn't thought much about anything but enjoying her last moments. The food was delicious and Rey refused to waste it nonetheless. She made a conscious effort to try and use a knife and fork but she knew her chewing was too loud. She refused to look up. Either Ren was the quietest eater on Naboo or his eyes were on her.

 

Eventually she put the cutlery down and sat back. Even from a distance, Ren's presence touched her. She was still having difficulty assigning this striking man with the legend who had captured her.

 

“I assume you want to ask me a question now?” Ren spoke expectantly if not happily.

 

Rey nodded.

 

“Go on then.”

 

Rey opened her mouth.

 

Nothing. Now she was put on the spot, the thousands of questions she had wanted to ask over the last week had vanished from her brain.

 

“Why do you have so many holobooks?”

 

It was something of a victory to see Ren showcase an emotion that wasn't anger, boredom or smugness. She just hadn't planned on it being genuine surprise at a clearly stupid question. Rey wanted to pull the words back into her mouth.

 

“I like to read.” Ren responded after a stunned pause.

 

“You don't strike me as an intellectual.” Rey hoped by displaying some kind of confidence it would take attention away from her hot cheeks.

 

“Knowledge is power. You'll learn that soon enough.”

 

“They can't all by factual. There's not enough history in the galaxy.” She looked at the shelves that bathed the room in a pale blue glow.

 

“Some are stories. Written for the purposes of teaching moral lessons. And some just for enjoyment.”

 

Rey looked at them with trepidation. The truth was Rey had never read a book. She'd heard enough stories on Jakku but never seen anything written down. Her reading ability was quite basic. She could understand warning signs on ships and which control to pull when a certain noise beeped on a console but that was it. When she tried to read long paragraphs with small font, her head hurt with trying to understand it all and it gave her a feeling of frustration rather than enjoyment.

 

She looked back at Ren.

 

Ren cocked his head to the side and then spoke.

 

“Why do you refuse to wear anything remotely womanly?”

 

Rey blinked. She probably looked similar to his stunned look a moment ago. She considered barking that it was none of his business what she wore but she had promised.

 

“I don't feel comfortable in them. They are too complicated and fussy.”

 

“You will be Queen one day. Fussy is what is expected.”

 

“Not by me. They wouldn't suit me. Too elegant.”

 

Ren raised an eyebrow. Rey sighed and continued.

 

“I've never had anything pretty. Pretty things weren't meant to survive in Jakku. All the pretty girls I knew as a girl were either kidnapped, or sold, or worse. Swinging my staff and wearing dirt on my face protected me. I was as invisible as it was likely to be while working for Plutt. I can't just switch that off.”

 

Ren looked at her and Rey waited for the ridicule.

 

“Now you know how I feel; sitting in front of you without a mask.”

 

Rey felt winded at that.

 

They had come here looking for common ground. And they had found it.

 

 

**

 

 

Rey returned to her chambers and slipped quietly into her bedroom. C3-P0 agreed to let her have the night to herself. He agreed that Master Ren was quite challenging even for his circuits.

 

She unbraided her hair and slipped on a white sleeping shirt. She felt like the battle had only just begun yet instead of feeling scared and daunted, she felt anticipation. Hope.

 

Hope was all Rey ever really needed.

 

Rey fished into her bedside cabinet and took out heavy circuit she had taken apart from one of the kitchen appliances on the Finalizer when she had been bored.

 

Placing it on the table, she sat down on the bed and focused.

 

She would move that chair or die trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment and kudos is like a declaration of love from a shirtless Adam Driver. 
> 
> Yeah... I like them THAT much.


	14. Night Teachings And Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello fellow humanoids. 
> 
> I'm well aware I'm a broken record in this respect but I cannot thank everyone enough for their beautiful feedback. I love it all so much. It's like a hug off Chewbacca. 
> 
> To answer some questions, in this universe I've tweaked Rey's learning somewhat. We know she can work controls and tear apart ships like a pro and can speak multiple languages but for the sake of this plot she can't read very well. I never saw her read too much in the film and even though in cannon she taught herself with pilot manuals, allow me poetic licence this once. Beauty and the Beast isn't the same unless someone introduces the beauty of reading and it makes more sense if Rey is the one that needs help. As Ren is more or less a prince, he would automatically have the best education in that regard. 
> 
> I'm a bit self-conscious about this chapter. I really hope it's not crap. I wrote it to "Walkaway" and "That Next Place" by Thomas Newman who is the most stunner composer and can make me cry at the drop of a hat.
> 
> Anyway, forgive the rambling and enjoy.

The following week fell into something of a familiar pattern. Rey would wake, have breakfast with Finn, tinker on the ships with Poe and Jess and then have dinner with Ren in the evening. They were sometimes broken up by walks in the garden with BB8 rolling along happily with her and finding something she could dismantle in her little kitchenette. The scavenger side of her mused how a few appliances in this vast palace could be so inconsequential when on Jakku they were the difference between starving and prospering.

 

She needed to build up her food collection again after losing what she had foraged away after the fight with Bazine. Rey knew that it probably wasn't a healthy way of giving herself reassurance but she was too wise to rely purely on Ren's good graces. They may be at something of a reluctant truce at the moment but that could always turn. His moods were not exactly reliable and, though she doubted he would do something so cruel as deny her food, the presence of food in the drawers of her bedside cabinet would give her a sense of ease.

 

The dinners had continued and Rey was almost used to the tense atmosphere now. Every night they came together, would eat in almost silence and then ask one another a question.

 

Ren's questions tended to be quite benign and basic ones about herself like how old she was exactly, what memories did she have of Jakku, how did she learn to dismantle ships, etc. All quite basic and not particularly deep. Rey considered that maybe the frankness of her answer at their last meal had surprised him and he was trying to steer back into safer, more neutral territory.

 

Sadly for Ren, Rey was in no such mood and continued to ask questions:

 

“ _Did you have any childhood friends?”_

 

“ _Why did you bring back the Stormtroopers?”_

 

“ _What was the most powerful thing you have ever done using the Force?”_

 

“ _Have you always been such a stubborn arsehole?”_

 

To his credit he always answered.

 

“ _None that stayed.”_

 

“ _They help bring order to the chaos. Through any means.”_

 

“ _Stopped ten blaster bolts at once. With my hand.”_

 

“ _Yes. Pass the bread rolls.”_

 

The training began to take form a little more too. Ren wanted to start by teaching her the importance of meditation. To feel at one with the Force. To let it guide you in all that you do. Rey had closed her eyes and listened. She had been able to feel the live wire sensation beneath her skin for some time. It took a few attempts to centre herself but Rey soon found a deep calm sweep through her. All the anxieties, concerns and doubts began to melt and there was only her.

 

Oddly Ren found her blissful calm rather unnerving. Rey soon discovered that Ren wanted her to not tamp down her anger but to use it to become more powerful. That sounded like it was teetering too close to the Sith side of the Force. She would take soothing over blistering any day.

 

Ren also wanted to see her fighting skills. Rey explained she fought best with her staff and agreed to bring it with her one night to show him. There had been a tense moment when he had held out a hand to take the staff. She had handed it over reluctantly and watched as he appraised her only defence growing up. He concluded that he'd seen worse which Rey concluded was glowing praise indeed coming from him. She'd perked up significantly when he mused that it would be easier then to train her with a double-ended lightsaber. That was followed by a list of improvements that needed to be applied to her fighting stances.

 

Rey was tempted to knock him on his backside and see if he had any feedback after that.

 

Rey kept her practise with her telekinesis to herself. She practised before bed every night and her progress varied. Some nights she could move the tool back and forth across the vanity table smoothly. Some days it wouldn't even rattle for her. Rey tried not to get frustrated but wasn't going to show Ren anything until she could do it without even meaning to.

 

Rey was still trying to get her head around Ren. He was still cold, arrogant and emotionally-distant but just when Rey thought she was going to crack and finally kill him, he would do something that would make her pause and almost break her heart.

 

Rey had woken one morning not long after the first dinner to find a package waiting for her. Opening it, there were several tunics, pants, armwraps and various other little things for her to wear. All of them were plain in appearance. Closer inspection saw that the seams were threaded with gold and the material was soft to touch. All well-made yet nothing that would draw unnecessary attention to her. They were perfect.

 

That night when Ren had made his usual quips whenever she tried to steer towards more personal ground, she would just brush her finger over the threading of her new top and smile placidly.

 

He may be as close to impossible as it was likely to be but she had always liked a challenge.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo sat upon his bed and played idly with the clasps of the helmet upon his lap. She would be here any moment. He could sense her coming closer to him.

 

In the most curious way, Kylo had almost started to look forward to her visiting for dinner. It was still awkward and strange but it was an almost comfortable awkward and strange. Rey never seemed perturbed by the silence that inevitably fell and seemed happy enough to dig into her food with single minded enjoyment. It made him feel invisible and, when you are invisible, you can observe.

 

He knew that he made her frustrated at times. At times he even felt anger. This was promising. She may not be keen on using that anger but the knowledge it was there was tantalising. If she would only open her mind to the power she could harness by using it…

 

What was so baffling was her ability to be positive and rational. She was so unlike other women that he had encountered. She was utterly practical in her ways and realistic in how to achieve them. Her clear-minded nature was something that Kylo had never grasped himself. It made him feel envious of her.

 

He could be flippant at times with her. It wasn't even something he did on purpose. A part of him wanted to test her patience with him to see what it would take for her to throw in the towel and storm off in a huff. No matter what she wouldn't move until the meal was finished and the questions were asked. She would question him, challenge him and refused to take anything he said at face value. Kylo wasn't used to people questioning him. He wasn't used to having to be solicitous and friendly.

 

It was difficult.

 

It was strange.

 

It was… oddly exciting.

 

He'd felt a swell of pride when she had shown up wearing the clothes he'd had ordered for her. She clearly liked them otherwise they wouldn't have graced the skin of her back and the little smile on her face throughout dinner made him feel itchy.

 

Rey never smiled for the sake of it. To be gifted one… even a timid one… felt like an achievement.

 

It almost made Kylo angry. The girl would be his wife soon. A measly smile shouldn't feel like something to celebrate.

 

He heard her come into his chambers and waited a moment before entering the dining room. He knew it made more sense to just sit in his chair on his side of the table and wait there. But there was so little he couldn't control about this situation that he took what he could and held on to it.

 

Rey looked up at his approach and gave him a little smile. Kylo immediately tensed and looked at the food on the table. It had been so long since he'd genuinely smiled that he worried that he might do it wrong if he tried.

 

They sat down and began to eat.

 

* * *

 

 

“Will you be teaching me about combat today?” Rey asked as she dug into her bowl of stew.

 

“Not today. Your fighting style is in a relatively comfortable place. You will need to know more about the history of the Force first.”

 

Rey took a gulp of her stew to stop from grimacing. She was eager to learn, of course she was, but history sounded rather dull in comparison to getting better acquainted with her own laser sword.

 

They finished their meal and Rey asked her question:

 

“ _How old were you when you started to train with the Force?”_

 

“ _I was six. My uncle refused to train me any earlier. My power unnerved him.”_ Rey couldn't help but feel like his uncle probably had a point.

 

Rey waited for Ren to ask his question. She had a suspicion that he found asking her quite difficult.

 

“Is there anything else you require? Clothes-wise?”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. This was the first time he had acknowledged verbally that she was wearing the clothes he had commissioned.

 

“No, nothing. Thank you.”

 

Ren nodded and looked down at his plate. Rey had to suppress a smile. Was he… shy?

 

They finished their food and Ren went to his holobook collection. Taking one from the shelf, he inspected it.

 

“There are many great pieces on the Force but I find this is the best to start with. I read it as a boy.” He held it out to Rey. “Study it.”

 

Some of the reluctance must have shown on her face as she took it as his hand didn't let go.

 

“Is there a problem?” His tone seemed dry.

 

“No.” Rey snapped defensively. She could do this. She understood many languages and could speak them fluently. Reading couldn't be much different.

 

“The text is relatively easy. It won't confuse you too much.”

 

“I'm not stupid!” Rey snapped. “I just…” Oh, this wasn't fun. “I'm just a little new to reading.”

 

She studied the holobook in detail. Anything but look at him.

 

“You can't read?”

 

“I can! A little. It's just we didn't have much reading material on Jakku. Plutt removed anything like manuals from the ships before we started work on them. He was worried that it might give us more knowledge than he could control.”

 

Rey flicked her eyes back at Ren. There was no mockery on his face. His stare was intense but not judgemental.

 

“I see. Well, I shall have to rectify that.” He turned back to his collection. He perused the books and took another out. “This is a good place to start. You have taught yourself many things over the years and have proven yourself gifted. This should be no different.”

 

Rey examined the second book he had given her. It didn't look as official as the history book.

 

“What is it?”

 

“It's a book of old Jedi tales. Mostly fictional. A good place to practise.”

 

Rey looked at the first book. “What about this one?”

 

Ren held out his hand and she gave the book back to him. “It wouldn't be prudent to slow your training down. I will read it to you until you are up to speed.”

 

Rey nearly dropped the second book in surprise. Ren walked back to his seat at the other end of the table and sat down. Rey could do little more than sit in her own seat and listen to his words as he began to read.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey found that reading was not quite as daunting as she had feared. She had always been a quick learner (you couldn't live alone on Jakku and not be).

 

She had sat herself down in bed that night and started to read to holobook with the stories that had been Ren's only companion during boyhood. It was slow going and frustrating as trying to make things move had been. But whenever the words began to slowly make sense, Rey would feel a gushing of pride.

 

The holobook had been so preoccupying to Rey that it was soon the early hours when her attention was pulled away.

 

Looking up, she went still. She'd just felt something. It was like a voice. Like a feeling. Like a pull. Like a cry. And, in the same breath, it was like absolutely nothing at all.

 

Getting out of bed, she went to the windows to look out into the gardens. She looked in her living area, her bathroom and then out in the hallway. It was out there that the sensation grew stronger.

 

It was coming from the direction of Ren's rooms…

 

“Mistress Kenobi!”

 

Rey spun around and almost growled.

 

“Three-pee-o! You startled me!”

 

“Oh, do forgive me, Miss Kenobi.” The gold droid apologised. “But I was frightened you were going to sneak out again.”

 

“I thought I heard… I mean I felt… I mean...” Rey didn't know how to describe it.

 

“Oh please spend just one night in bed, Mistress. I hate to complain but, since you have been my charge, I have had to undergo three oil baths and my fuses have short-circuited four times. I haven't had this much trouble since Master Ren was a teenager!”

 

Rey's compassion for the droid allowed her to follow him back into her room. The feeling was begin to fade from her psyche.

 

She slept very little nonetheless.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey never would have thought it possible but it was: she loved listening to Ren reading to her.

 

A week had passed since she had been given the book. Every day she would read what she had learnt and Ren would check how accurately she had got it and corrected anything she hadn't quite grasped. Ren was surprised and seemed pleased at her fast progress yet warned her to not rush too much. Rey tried to bear that in mind but ended up studying the pages until her mind felt like a cloud.

 

The history book was left with Ren and he read a chapter from it every night. His voice was oddly soothing and his deep tone made even the rather complicated and long winded history of the Force sound like an adventure. Rey had insisted that they do the reading in his sitting area. Ren had resisted but eventually gave in when she complained often and loudly that she couldn't hear him from down the table. It wasn't exactly true but it got her what she wanted.

 

There was something that Rey had noticed that troubled her a little: Ren was starting to look a little ill. His face was paler than usual, almost grey, and there were dark circles under his eyes. His temper was still there but almost diluted down due to wariness. It was as though he was too tired to get truly angry about anything.

 

It should have felt like a reprieve to Rey. It felt more like a concern.

 

She wondered if he was experiencing the same distraction as her. Every night she woke to the same pull. Every night she wondered what in the galaxy it meant.

 

* * *

 

 

Ren had been reading for about half an hour when he realised that Rey had gone quiet. Looking up from the holobook, he was startled to find Rey asleep on the sofa she had curled up on to hear him read.

 

Putting down the holobook, he observed her. She looked incredibly young curled up. He had a sneaking suspicion that she had not been listening to his warnings to not take on too much with her reading and learning. The girl was tenacious to a fault.

 

He contemplated waking her up and sending her on her way but that would mean shaking her awake. It felt wrong somehow.

 

He could carry her to her rooms. The prospect of walking through the halls with her in his arms somehow felt like the world would be encroaching on something private. Something delicate.

 

The relationship felt too fragile for that. And the idea of bumping into Hux and allowing the General to see her curled up and vulnerable in his arms…

 

Grabbing an old comforter, he draped the material over her frame to keep her warm.

 

It was one night and she was on the sofa. It would make no difference.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was dark when Rey woke up on the sofa. For a moment, she had no idea where she was. Ren's sitting quarters looked haunting in the moonlight. Rey felt vaguely embarrassed when she realised that she must have fallen asleep. She wondered if that had annoyed Ren. The blanket lying on top of her indicated he couldn't have been too upset.

 

She would have settled back down into sleep had she not realised just what had woken her up.

 

The feeling was back and it was pulsing so strongly she was practically vibrating.

 

The pull of the Force. It was calling her. And it was coming from Ren's room.

 

Rey pushed off the blanket and crept down the hallway. There was a dark sense of foreboding for Rey. The last time she had gone creeping around Ren's private chambers, she had been chased away in the woods and had to fight off an assassin. She still doubted that Ren would look too kindly on her even if he had opted to let her sleep here this time.

 

Rey stood in front of his closed bedroom and placed a hand to the door. It was now shooting like an electric shock up her arm.

 

Collecting her courage, she pressed the button that opened the door to her. It was calling to her for a reason and she had been taught to listen to the Force.

 

Peering into the darkness, Rey's eyes adjusted with some effort.

 

There was a rustling in Ren's bed and Rey panicked for a moment that he had woken up. Some of the moonlight from the living room spilled into the bedroom and Rey could finally see the source of the energy.

 

Ren was tangled up in the sheets of his bedclothes and seemed to be twitching. His breaths were heavy and almost gasping and his black fringe was plastered to his forehead. He was dressed in a black tank top under the sheets covering him and the sheen of sweat on his body made the muscles in his forearms bulge.

 

Despite the look of anguish on his sleeping face, Rey found her own breathing matching his.

 

He'd always been striking. Now he looked tormented. Godlike. Breathtaking.

 

A groan from Ren's mouth shock Rey out of her perusing. He was babbling.

 

“ _No… Nnn-o…. Please... I can't._ ”

 

Rey understood at last.

 

Ren was suffering nightmares. That’s why he was always looking so tired. That's what she was sensing from across the palace.

 

“ _I'm… I'm sorry… please.”_

 

His voice was sounded more desperate. Forgetting her previous reservations, she stepped closer to the bed.

 

“Ren. Ren, wake up.”

 

He kept twitching and trashing.

 

“Ren, you're dreaming. It's just a dream.”

 

She reached out a hand and touched his arm.

 

“Ren!”

 

Within the space of five seconds, Ren's eyes had flown open and Rey had been forced to dodge his arm as he fought against her.

 

“Ren, it's me! It's okay!”

 

His breath was still panting, his eyes were darting and Rey's heart clenched when she realised he was trembling.

 

Climbing onto the bed, she made Ren look her directly in the eyes.

 

“It's okay. You're okay.” She carried on whispering. She ran her hand across his forehead to wipe away his sweaty fringe and he flinched so violently that she was frightened he would jerk right off the bed.

 

The combination of his half dazed state from being suddenly woken from a horrific nightmare and the surprise to find her in his room seemed to have rendered him speechless for once. In that moment, he looked so young and helpless. Rey continued to stroke his forehead when she realised why he had jerked away.

 

She was touching his face.

 

Not his mask, his face.

 

She was the first person to touch the skin on his face in years.

 

The first skin on skin contact both had ever had with each other.

 

Rey was closer to him than she had ever been. She could feel his breath on her face and she was sure her breath was caressing his own skin.

 

“You're safe now. Try and rest. You're safe.” She whispered.

 

A noise too loud would have shattered the moment like a stone on glass. And she wanted to keep this moment. She would be greedy for moments like this for a long time.

 

Eventually, Ren's eyes closed. His breathing was still shallow but a little calmer. She continued to stroke her head and face. Partly to calm him. Partly because she wanted to.

 

It was so soft, so worthy of being explored, a gift she wasn't sure she deserved but wouldn't give back even so.

 

Eventually his breathing and body went still enough for Rey to be convinced that he was now asleep. He didn't thrash or grimace this time. He looked the closest she had seen to peaceful since falling unconscious in the woods.

 

Resting her head on the pillow next to him, she continued to stroke his skin until her body was too tired to lift her head any longer.

 

Calm was restored and, with the new calm, Rey allowed herself to find rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is like water on Jakku.


	15. Mysteries of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To each and every one of you, thank you to the stars and back. 700 kudos!!! I literally punched the air.
> 
> I was overwhelmed with the previous responses to the last chapter so I decided to update a bit earlier as a thank you. I love the feedback and without gushing, I love you all!
> 
> I wrote this to Blair Douglas - The Landlord's Walk (for the party scene) and Thomas Newman's Road to Perdition for Rey's star gazing. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kylo likened it to being underwater. The world was on the other side but muffled and far away. Kylo had roused a few minutes previously but for once was unwilling to open his eyes. He'd slept… so well. It had been so long since he had slept that deeply and calmly. Such a long time that opening his eyes seemed like a battle to fight and he pushed his head back into his pillow as though he could back away from the waiting world altogether.

 

It hadn't started that way of course. He'd suffered the usual images, the flashbacks, the past coming back to play havoc with his psyche where he was powerless to stop it playing out again and again. He had always suffered them but the past few nights they seemed to be worse. The noises were louder, the smells were pungent and he could taste metal.

 

_Come back… Ben… we miss you._

 

But it had faded. A new addition to his dream. A face calling him to wake up. A hand stroking his brow. Sweet face. Freckles doting her nose and wide hazel eyes. It had been as strong as the nightmare but like a different breed of dream. He had been able to feel the touch and smell the scents of this one too.

 

A touch so gentle and almost nervous. A smell perfumed with soap, cotton and innocence.

 

_You're safe. Try and rest. You're safe._

 

After that, there had been nothing. Just a blissful nothingness which he had sunk into like a hot bath.

 

Sighing, he realised with a sense of loss that he wasn't going to get back to sleep no matter how hard he concentrated. It was strange because he could still smell the sweet scent a little…

 

He could still feel the touch -

 

He could still feel it.

 

Because it was still there.

 

Opening his eyes and turning his head to the side, he could only stare in disbelief.

 

Rey was curled up next to him in a foetal position. Her eyes were still closed and her breaths were steady and calm. Her hand was still rested on his arm as though she had stroked it and fallen asleep like that.

 

He hadn't been dreaming at all.

 

_The reading. On the coach. She fell asleep. I left her. She must have…_

 

She'd seen him like that. She'd seen him weak. Pathetic.

 

Kylo leapt from under the covers and was on his feet. He needed to put as much distance between himself and this girl as possible.

 

The jolt off the bed caused Rey to sleepily blink awake. For a moment she seemed confused as to where she was and what had woken her.

 

By the time, her eyes fixed on Kylo, he had already thrown on his tunic.

 

“What are you doing in here? In my bed?” The words were demanding and accusatory. It caused Rey to flinch away.

 

It was at times like these, when she looked so delicate and small and good, that he was reminded that she was still so young.

 

“I…” She was struggling but Kylo was still too disturbed by what had clearly taken place to help her, “I felt something. It was calling. It's been calling for a while. You...” Her eyes were understanding. Too understanding. “You were suffering. I just wanted to help.”

 

“Would you deem it help if I broke into your rooms and you woke up with me next to you?” He demanded.

 

“I didn't break in!” She sounded angry and maybe a little hurt. Kylo ignored the part of himself that remembered the calmness she had bought him last night. Now wasn't the time. “I was in the other room. I couldn't leave you like that. It would have been cruel!”

 

“The galaxy is cruel. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better things will be.”

 

“I know damn well the galaxy is cruel. Jakku taught me that.” Rey was off the bed and on her feet. They were now both standing yet separated by the place where for one night they had lain together as equals. “It also taught me that compassion can buy you more friends.”

 

Kylo glared at her. Her hazel eyes were hard but he'd seen them harder.

 

“You will speak of this to know one, do you understand? If I hear even a whisper about this...” He couldn't let this get out. The idea of Hux knowing just how weak he had become made him want to smash the entire palace to pieces.

 

“Of course not! Kriff, I would never...” Her eyes were now purely hurt.

 

“Good. We won't speak of this. It will be like it never happened.” He turned away and tried to calm himself.

 

She won't tell. _She won't tell._

 

“I wouldn't ever tell. Not ever.” Her voice was small, but filled with her usual conviction. “You told me to listen to the Force. So I did. And it led me here. To you.”

 

Kylo couldn't argue with that so said nothing.

 

“I'll leave you alone then.”

 

And with the close of the door, he was left as she bid.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey knew she should feel more angry, and she did feel anger, but it was with a dejection that made her body feel heavy that she dragged herself back to her rooms. She was greeted by a frantic C3-P0 who had been looking for her everywhere apparently. She couldn't even be bothered to apologise.

 

Turning on the fresher, she stripped herself of her clothes and stepped under the stream of water. The water always gave her clarity and she closed her eyes and let it soak her as she thought over what had happened.

 

Something had changed. She had touched his skin, felt how soft it was beneath her own hand, and slept by his side. He'd been vulnerable for the first time beneath her gaze.

 

He hated her for it.

 

And she didn't know how she felt.

 

She had known, had known for a while now, that he had a kind side. Even if he would rather throw himself on his own saber than admit it. Saving her from Bazine, allowing her to spend time with him, ordering her clothes he knew that she would like and teaching her how to read a little better had all showcased that side. But he'd never been more human than beneath her hand that night.

 

Rey wasn't so starry-eyed that she would allow herself to forget who he was. What he was capable of. But it was hard to keep associating the dark masked figure she had met on The Finaliser with the gasping, sweating creature she had comforted last night.

 

The more she learnt about him the harder it got.

 

Switching off the water after a while, Rey wrapped a towel around her body and started to dry herself off. Picking up her discarded clothing off the floor, she caught a scent of something off them. Putting her face to the clothing she breathed in.

 

It was a musky scent. Strong yet not overpowering. A smell of exhaustion and dominance and man.

 

She could smell _him_ on her clothes.

 

Rey pulled her face away. C3-P0 could wash her clothes. The smell would be gone. All evidence of last night destroyed. Like it had never happened.

 

A knock on the door.

 

“Mistress, would you like me to put last night's clothes in with the other laundry?”

 

“No, thank you, Three-Pee-O. They're not really dirty. I'll wear them again today.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The kitchens were noisy and bustling as Rey went down for breakfast. Finn was eating his food at the wooden table and started to speed up chewing when he saw Rey coming.

 

“Rey!” He exclaimed, nearly choking on some food he hadn't quite swallowed in his hurry to start talking, “I'm glad you're here. We're having a party tonight for my birthday.”

 

“Oh, happy birthday.” Rey acknowledged. “How old are you?”

 

“Um, I'm about twenty two, I think.”

 

“If you have a birthday, you should know.” Rey teased, helping herself to some toasted bread.

 

“Yeah, well, this year I have one. It will be my first birthday.”

 

Rey stopped but then nodded slowly with understanding. She was also unaware as to when her birthday was and only knew her age because Plutt had made a note of it when he had taken her in.

 

“Why today then?”

 

“Why not? Poe says there's never a good enough excuse not to have a party. He was quite insistent on a party. I think he was a bit shocked when he realised I didn't have either a name or a birthday.”

 

“He likes you. Of course, he would be.” Rey reasoned.

 

“Poe likes everyone.” Finn replied. There was a hinted of moroseness in his tone. As though he'd had this discussion with himself at least a hundred times.

 

“Not everyone.” Rey argued.

 

“Yeah, he's not too fond of Ren.” Finn smiled wryly. “Not that I could blame him.”

 

Rey lowered her head. Which inadvertently meant her nose was closer to her shirt which was swimming in his scent.

 

“So where's the party?” Rey asked keenly.

 

“Down here. We're going to move the tables and everything. You'll come?”

 

“Of course I will.” She smiled. “As long as I don't have to wear a dress.”

 

“No, just come as you are. Hey, didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?”  


“It's still pretty clean. Would be a waste of time to wash it yet.” She hoped her cheeks stayed relatively the same shade.

 

“Hmm. Fair enough.” Finn shoved some more nerf bacon into his mouth and Rey repressed a sigh of relief. It wasn't that she was ashamed but Ren had made her swear. Plus she wasn’t sure if she could explain even if she was allowed.

 

Finn and Rey chatted happily as they helped themselves to their breakfast until they were interrupted by Maz.

 

“Ah Rey. I was hoping you would be here. I have a message from Ren.”

 

Rey straightened up and tried to keep her face neutral.

 

“Hux is required to go to Coruscant and Ren has decided to go with him. He will be back late so you won't be required to have dinner with him tonight.”

 

It shouldn't hurt and it shouldn't make her angry. But Rey knew enough about the running of things in this palace to know Ren wasn't really required to go with them when Hux could take control. Even though she had Finn's party, she would have at least gone to him in person to explain why she wouldn't be at dinner. She wouldn't send a message like he didn't matter.

 

“Thanks for letting me know Maz.” She took a deep drink of milk to stop herself from snarling.

 

Maz's eyes lingered on her. Rey briefly wondered if she had felt the pull of his nightmares too.

 

Rey also couldn't help but wonder how he would sleep tonight.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The day had all the trappings of being quite pleasant. The sun was warm so she sat herself under a tree in the gardens with BB8 rolling around happily to practise reading the holobook. The words were beginning to form enough sense that she could follow the stories a little better. They were relatively innocent in their teachings. Preaching about the virtues of feeling only the Force and no emotions. Charming yet Rey couldn't help but think it would have given Ren a lot to strive for. His passionate nature must have made it feel like a mammoth task.

 

Maybe true understanding and control only came in books.

 

The morning passed quickly as it often did when she was teaching herself and she moved to her rooms to practise using the Force to move objects.

 

Rey tried to centre herself to allow the Force utterly become her and consume her. It proved hard to do that and concentrate on moving an object at the same time. About half an hour in she had given herself the beginnings of a tension headache.

 

If she gave up every time things got difficult, she wouldn't be alive. That's what Rey kept repeating to herself as she forced her brain through the challenges. Over and over again she pushed until suddenly…

 

The appliance she had been practising with flew off her vanity desk and into her hand.

 

She whooped so loud she scared BB8, causing her to dash out of the room and omit a shriek of her own.

 

Throwing the appliance up in the air and catching it, she grinned until her face ached. She made a mental note to practise with heavy items next time.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey had thought she was used to seeing the kitchens packed but it was nothing in comparison to the raucousness that was taking place now.

 

The lights had illuminated the brown and normally damp underground bunker with something of a warm glow. The chatter was loud which meant the music had to be louder just to be heard. A bunch of kitchen workers had a variety of instruments out and were playing with a gusto that made Rey worry they were going to hurt themselves. The sounds emitted were like none she had ever heard before: they sounded happy and joyous.

 

Music that seemed to cry: _We're here! We're alive. It's wonderful. Come and join us._

 

Everyone seemed to have a glass in their hand which was filled to the brim with drink. Laughter was everywhere. It wouldn't be a hardship to join this at all.

 

“REY! You came!” Finn was barrelling towards her. His face was showing no mystery at all: he was drunk and he loved it. He enveloped her in a hug so tight she was worried he might fracture a rib.

 

“Of course!” Rey yelled back to be heard. “I said I would!”

 

“Come on over! Jess and Poe are here!” She was pulled into a throng of people and soon came face-to-face with the Resistances pilots who both cried simultaneous greetings.

 

Rey had many drinks pushed into her hand which help contribute to the feeling of geniality. She talked with Jess about everything and nothing that she couldn't really talk about with the boys. She discussed the engine that she had been working on with Poe. She listened and laughed as Finn told her thirteen times in a row that he was having a great night. Rey couldn't blame him. She was too.

 

This was nothing like the throne room with all the First Order cronies. There was no-one judging her for her clothes. No-one eyeing her for political advancement. No false sense of ceremony. This is how the galaxy thrived: through people just living and doing it very well. Because what other choice did they have?

 

Jess and Finn were preoccupied at one point with doing a bit of dancing which left Poe alone with her.

 

“You've done a good thing for him.” Rey announced. “Giving him a name. Giving him a birthday. It's a good thing to do.”

 

“Well, we haven't had a party for a while down here.” Poe shrugged.

 

“This place strikes me as not exactly needing an excuse.” Rey challenged. “You did this because you wanted to. You wanted to make him happy.”

 

Poe looked a bit wrong-footed at Rey's blatant assessment. “Yeah, well...” It was a rare thing indeed to see the great Captain Dameron looking bashful. Rey just let the moment hang there as she enjoyed it immensely.

 

“We'll give you one too. It's only right.” Rey looked at him curious. “I know its not likely you know your own birthday so we'll give you one too. Everyone should have a day that's just theirs. We have to share so much in this galaxy.”

 

“Thank you.” It came out as a whisper and over the noise she doubted he heard her.

 

Poe looked around and then back at her. “I've received some communications from… my base.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“The General. She liked the report I sent on you. She would like… to maybe send you a message.”

 

Rey went very still. “What kind of message?”

 

“Just to welcome you. She may not be close to her son but you will still be family. She wanted me to get your permission first though.”

 

Rey thought hard. She'd never actually been told by Ren that she was to have no communication with his mother. And it was just a message. The General had always been a women who intrigued her and whom she'd admired. A woman in a man's universe.

 

“Okay. But you are to keep it quiet.” Rey warned.

 

“Of course.” Poe nodded.

 

They watched the dancing in silence before Jess shot out of the crowd and grabbed Rey's hand. “Get in here now!”

 

Rey was yanked into the crowd before she had a chance to respond.

 

The music swirled around her like it was her partner in the dance. She had absolutely no clue how to dance so just jumped around like everyone else. Waving her arms and laughing madly, she forgot the world up above her head. With Jess, Finn, Poe and Maz (who looked as though she had got her hands on one of the instruments and was playing with an enthusiasm that was almost frightening) she danced badly and just let the music play.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey woke in the night to a pull. Lifting her head off her pillow, she listened to the Force.

 

Ren. He was back. And he was having the nightmares again.

 

With a reluctance, she let her head drop back on the pillow. He'd made it clear he didn't want her help. And he wouldn't appreciate it if he woke to her again.

 

She was a woman of her word. She stayed in her room. Even if the prospect of sleep had now evaporated into nothing.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey regretted her decision the moment her eyes fell on Ren the next day at dinner. His posture was haughty and he seemed determined to act completely normal. But the tiredness in his eyes spoke volumes.

 

Rey didn't ask him to read that night and also refrained from asking any questions. It felt like they were balancing on a tight rope and the slightest shake could cause them to fall.

 

The meal was fairly miserable as a result.

 

She took her leave of him and got ready for bed. Not that sleep would come. The bed was still too big for her. It made her feel more lonely than ever.

 

Her position lying down in her bed gave her a view upwards at the night sky from the window to her left. With wide eyes, she watched as a constellation of planets and stars twinkled, winked and beckoned to her. It was the one thing she missed about The Finalizer: it had given her a view to the vastness of the world.

 

She wanted to see it all. She wanted to explore the galaxy that one day she would jointly own. If she was going to be Queen, she should feel the sand, rock and grass beneath her feet of each individual location. She wanted to look at the people, inhale as much of their air and live.

 

A jolt. The pull. It had started again.

 

Rey sat up. This was ridiculous.

 

What was the point of this? Pride. Was it worth being miserable?

 

Throwing off her duvet, she marched out of her room. C3-P0 had powered down for the night so she only had to instruct a nervous BB8 to stay where she was before striding to the North wing.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey felt a moment of nervousness once she was outside his bedroom door again. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe this would shatter what they had fought so long to build.

 

Or maybe it's what they needed.

 

Following her memory to his bedside, she watched as Ren was twisted in the bedclothes. He was grimacing again and the sweat was back on his brow.

 

Without preamble, she climbed onto the bed and shook him to wake him up.

 

She didn't speak this time. She let him come to slowly. His eyes blinked and then adjusted. Then he saw her.

 

In a way, Rey felt more exposed than him in that moment. The first time she had been fully dressed from falling asleep on the sofa. This time, her hair was braided to the side and she was wearing an oversized white tunic and soft black pants. This was the most vulnerable he had seen her.

 

She let him look at her all the same. He may as well know that this was actually happening.

 

“I thought I told you-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it never happened. Well, guess what: it _is_ happening.” And to illiterate the point, she pulled the duvet back and climbed under with him.

 

Ren shot up and nearly off the bed.

 

“What the-”

 

“I can't sleep. You can't sleep. We're both making ourselves miserable. I'm sick of being miserable.” Rey argued.

 

His eyes were fixed on her. The light from the hall made the muscles on his arms stand out. And she knew what they felt like beneath her hand…

 

“It's just sleeping. May as well get used to it.”

 

Ren went still and quiet. He wasn't breaking anything so that was a victory.

 

Then slowly… he sank back down onto his pillow. They lay still for what felt like an hour. Neither moving. Neither daring to breathe too loud. Then Rey reached a hand out and stroked his fringe away from his forehead.

 

“Does it feel okay?” Rey whispered, not stopping.

 

The slightest nod of his head was all she needed.

 

It took longer to get him back to sleep this time (probably because he knew she was real this time) but eventually he melted under her touch and went boneless.

 

Rey inhaled deeply.

 

The smell was back in her nose. It hugged her warmer than the duvet ever could.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are the equivalent of Wookie Cookies for Chewwie!


	16. Where Flowers Have Light To Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening guys. 
> 
> Thank you. Thank you. A thousand times Thank you. I love all of you. You're my sunshine. 
> 
> I've been writing a lot lately and have started a new Reylo fic called 'Ileenium Manor'. It's a Victorian era fic so if you like my writing, give it a look. All support is as welcome as Rogue One teaser trailers.

Rey woke the next day slowly. She'd slept deeply and without difficulty. It had been the best sleep she could remember having since… well, ever really. Stretching under the covers and groaning gently, she opened her eyes. The room was so different in the day time. There still wasn't much light due Ren insisting the shutters remain down but it was a little softer to Rey. Not quite so oppressive. Not quite so haunting. Looking around, Rey saw that this place was as devoid of a human touch as all the rest of his living space.

 

She'd never really appreciated before how much ornaments or photos or even mess made a place a home. Force, even her AT-AT still lying in the sands of Jakku had a more homely touch than this place. She'd insisted on making it liveable and had used to save up her portions when she could to trade them for little touches. Silly things like a solitary cushion or flowers when she could.

 

What really stood out to her in that moment was that she was alone. Touching the sheets beside her, they were cool to the touch. He'd been gone a while.

 

Sighing, Rey pushed the duvet back and padded across the room. Her bare feet were cold on the floor. The material underfoot rough and unforgiving.

 

Rey opened the door and went to head for the doorway.

 

“I didn't have you down as a heavy sleeper.”

 

Rey whipped around. Ren was standing at the window, fully dressed. Back in black. Back in his regalia. The king of the galaxy once again.

 

Looking at him now, Rey was reminded again of her first impression of him. It felt like a lifetime ago. It had only been over two weeks. How could so much happen and yet not happen in that time?

 

She'd been frightened of him. Angry at him for simply being who he was. Despised him for masking himself.

 

She looked at him now. He still had the ability to unnerve her. He still angered her at times. But she now felt crushing guilt for despising his mask so openly. As she watched him peaking out at the grounds, from behind the shutters, she wished she could apologise for that. To never be able to join in on the world… to be judged for something you had no control over… she hoped that he at least slept better last night.

 

“I thought you'd gone.” Rey replied.

 

“Where would I go?”

 

“Anywhere. This is _your_ palace.”

 

“It will never be mine.” He still hadn't looked at her. He spoke softly like he was talking to himself. Rey shuffled feeling both awkward and exposed. It got ten times worse when he finally looked at her. If she had felt vulnerable when they were both in their sleepwear last night, she felt practically naked now he was fully covered. “We need to discuss what to do next.”

 

Rey wasn't sure what to say to that so said nothing.

 

“We can't have you sneaking across the palace every night. Someone is bound to see and there are some conversations I would rather go to my eternal rest never having with Hux.”

 

“So what do you suggest?”

 

“There is a spare room at the other end of the hall. It hasn't been used in years and much smaller than what you have previously had-” Ren stopped upon seeing Rey's expression. If there was one thing she wasn't likely to complain about, it was about lack of comforts. She'd slept inside an engine for the past five years after all. “You can move into there. If you want.”

 

He suddenly looked shy. Like he hadn't considered what would happen if she rejected him. It was a strange sensation to roused itself in Rey's chest at this.

 

“I suppose that makes sense.” Rey agreed.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

And so it went that Rey set up her items in her new room. It felt more homely to her than her stupidly big apartments on the other side of the palace ever had. It had an excellent view of the gardens and from this angle you could even see the waterfalls in the horizon of Naboo. Rey found that the apartments were actually quite light and airy when the shutters were open. And she had unscrewed the shutters on the window the first day she was in there.

 

C3-P0 seemed much grieved to lose Rey as his mistress or prisoner. BB8 also looked somewhat forlorn though she seemed appeased by Rey's promise that they could still walk in the gardens.

 

Hux looked the closest Rey had ever witnessed to being pleased at the news. Rey knew it had next to nothing to do with whether Ren and Rey were getting on at all. Hux was a political being through and through and an arranged marriage between two slightly less reluctant individuals was always a short-cut to an easier life.

 

Finn had been stunned when he heard that Rey was now sleeping within Ren's rooms. Rey had shrugged and said it was better to adapt slowly to things than being dumped in the marriage bed on her wedding night. Besides, she reasoned, it was comfortable and she slept wonderfully.

 

Not that she was ever sleeping in her own room.

 

Ren and herself never spoke of their arrangement or the real reason she had been moved into his rooms. They carried on with their normal activities; they ate dinner together, asked a question a night, practised Rey's reading abilities and went over the mental disciplines of the Force. Rey also made a point of practising moving things with her mind when Ren was out of the chambers.

 

It was the same routine every night. They would both bid each other good night and go to their adjacent rooms. Rey would undress for bed and get under the covers. She would wait until silence was almost ringing in her ears and wait a further five minutes. Then she would tiptoe out of her room, across to Ren's room and slide wordlessly under the covers of his bed. The door was always unlocked. They rarely spoke and it was always done in the dark.

 

They would fall quickly to sleep once they were in the same bed and Ren rarely had nightmares now. If he did, it was more of a twitching kind of terror than a shrieking and thrashing one. Rey always woke as soon as it started and found that she didn't need to wake him. All she had to do was lay a hand on his flesh and he would instantly calm.

 

Ren was always gone when Rey woke up and always fully dressed. Rey would creep into her own rooms and dress for the day. Then she would stop trying to be quiet and resume her normal footfalls to stride out of the room and start the day. As though she had been there the entire time.

 

To an outsider, Rey was confident that they probably looked insane.

 

They probably were but there was a certain happiness in madness.

 

It also helped Rey to get her head around what was happening. He had let her in, had shown himself to be vulnerable and allowed her to be his comforter. He'd opened the doors of his personal space to her and didn't seem particularly bothered whenever he came home to find an appliance from his kitchenette missing because Rey wanted to see how it worked.

 

To demand any more from him, to make his vulnerability (and to a certain extent hers) visible in the cold light of day seemed both unnecessary and quite callous.

 

There was a feeling of rest about him now. He still had boundless energy and still maintained a temper to make people cower before him but he'd not broken anything for days and had even let some things that would normally anger him go (providing they didn't happen again).

 

Rey wasn't hoping for miracles but as far as progress went… it was just that.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey was sitting under the very same tree that she had sat under the first day she had arrived in Naboo, enjoying the morning sun, when she had a sense of deja vu. Someone was coming up behind her again. Even now she wasn't utterly confident they wouldn't be a spy.

 

Until the voice spoke cheerfully.

 

“You're going to take root there one day.”

 

Scoffing, Rey looked at Poe sardonically. He had come to lean against the tree and was looking down at her like a fond and annoying big brother.

 

“Hardly. I think you find I spend more time in the hanger than out here. I thought my days of saving planes from graveyards were over.”

 

“Hey, my plane's a beauty.” Poe defended.

 

“Yeah, and so am I(!)”

 

“You are. Don't ever doubt that.” He sounded almost shockingly sincere. Rey suddenly felt self-conscious.

 

“Careful Dameron. Flattery won't get you a new engine.”

 

“Not if those bloody Stormtroopers have their way.” He sat down heavily on the grass. “Jess thinks they are sabotaging the plane on purpose.”

 

“Why would they do that?”

 

“Do they need a reason?” Poe asked. Rey nodded her head in a salute of 'touché'.

 

Poe slid his hand across the grass and took Rey's. She froze. For a moment she thought he was trying to hold her hand.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Don't fuss. Just take it.” It was only then that she felt something was in his hand and being slipped into hers. “The General's message. It arrived today.”

 

Rey's hand closed around the cool holograph chip. In a strange way, it was less daunting and frightening that thinking Poe was trying to hold her hand.

 

“Force take me, Rey!” Poe laughed. “Am I really that dire a prospect?”

 

“No.” Rey huffed a laugh and wrapping her fingers around the chip before placing her hand in her lap. Safe and untouched. “I'm just… a bit wary of touching people. Years of living alone, you see.”

 

The hypocrisy of this made Rey almost colour again. She was grateful of her vow to never tell what really happened with Ren at night. She knew that, as good a friend as Poe was, he would never understand what she was doing. The enmity between himself and Ren was almost famous on a galactic level.

 

“Rey, I must ask you: why did you move into Ren's rooms?”

 

Rey looked at him and it always struck her dumb when Poe asked her a serious question. To see his normally cheeky and playful face so serious… well, it was like walking in on Hux singing lullabies from Endor.

 

“It's good to ease into things. Better than if I just turn up on the wedding night-”

 

“Did he force you to do it?”

 

“What?” Rey whispered.

 

“Did he force you? I swear to the stars Rey, I will get you off this planet within the hour. Just say the word.”

 

“No!” Rey's voice rang through the gardens, “No, it's not like that. It's _not._ He would never… _I_ would never… he's many things but he's never so much as presumed to shake my hand. He's not the monster you imagine.”

 

“Ren?”

 

“Yes, Ren. Believe it or not, he's… well, he's courteous. Kind at times. He wants me to learn what I don’t know and improve what I do.”

 

Poe was looking bewildered and she wasn't surprised. When Ren came up in conversation in the early days, she would roll her eyes and pull a face. But to hear her friend who was a source of all the goodness in the world think the worst of a man that she barely understood at times but had seen that there was good in… well, she couldn't keep quiet.

 

“Are you growing to care for him?”

 

“Is it so bad if I am? He will be my husband one day.” Poe looked away as though nothing on this planet made sense. “Poe, I can't even begin to explain what is happening. I can only say that I don't hate him. Nor do I fear him. And that’s more than I hoped for. You don't want me to be shackled to a man I hate, do you?”

 

“Of course not. It's just so-”

 

“Weird? Yep. Makes no sense. But I'm actually happier than I have ever been. And a happy Queen means a happy reign.”

 

“You shall be a great Queen. The best since Amidala herself.”

 

“You won't catch me in one of those dresses. Or those silly head pieces she wore. They looked like they weighed more than she did.”

 

“Well, you've got to wear something on your head. It's tradition.” Poe ripped some daisies out of the ground and started to thread them together. Rey watched in amusement as the best pilot in the Resistance made a daisy chain. Finally he had made a large one and placed it on her head with a flourish. “A crown for a Queen.”

 

Rey laughed heartily and felt her happiness begin to bloom like the flowers she sat amongst. Poe seemed back to his usual cheerfulness too.

 

A movement caught Rey's attention from the corner of her eye. Looking in its direction, Rey's blossoms started to fall from the stems in her mind.

 

A flank of Stormtroopers were on their way to the other side of the palace. The garden was the quickest route. Ren was at the head of them. Masked and like a shadow, he was looking right at them.

 

Rey didn't have to see his face to know that this wasn't going to go down well. The holograph chip, hidden in her palm, bit into her skin.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey returned to Ren's chambers, now _their_ chambers, at her usual time. She didn't want to hide but she didn't want to run after him either. She knew she had done nothing out of the ordinary or even particularly flirtatious. She could honestly put her hand on her heart and say she felt no romantic attraction to Poe.

 

As she walked through the palace, she couldn't help but ask: why?

 

On paper, Poe was perfect. Handsome, confident, with a hero complex that meant he would fly his plane through a supernova if it was for the greater good.

 

So why did she look at him and see at most a brother?

 

Maybe because she didn't need a hero. She had learnt long ago that you must never wait for a man to come and save you.

 

Opening the door, she was expecting broken furniture and slashed walls. It was almost more unnerving to be greeted with darkness and silence.

 

She switched on the lights and walked into the room. She wouldn't need her staff for this fight. This one would probably be more tiring.

 

“Pleasant evening?” The words were curious. The tone was accusing.

 

Ren was sat in a chair in the living quarters. His mask was on the other side of the room on the floor. Well, throwing something wasn't as bad as utter destruction.

 

“Quite pleasant, yes.” Rey replied, moving across the room to pick it up off the floor. The plastic was cold under her touch.

 

“Dameron whispered anything interesting in your ear? Or just sweet nothings?”

 

“He mentioned that the X-Wing needs more work.” Rey went to the kitchenette and took out a glass. She felt thirsty.

 

“Do you enjoy making me look like a fool?” He snarled.

 

Rey filled the glass with water and took a drink.

 

“Answer me!”

 

Placing the glass down, she turned around. Ren was now on his feet. His eyes were black with anger and he was clearly not rational. Then again, was he ever?

 

“Poe is my friend. He's been my friend for a while. What you saw today is nothing different to what happens most days with him, Finn or Jess.”

 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

 

“It's not supposed to make you feel anything. I'm allowed to talk to other people.”

 

“He's with the Resistance. He's a traitor.”

 

“Have I ever pledged allegiance to the Resistance? Have ever pledged allegiance to anyone?”

 

“No. Which is worrying in itself.”

 

Rey snorted. “You can't expect me to sign up as a mascot for Hux's little gang. They did abduct me off my planet, after all.”

 

“You will marry me in time. Whatever I command, you will be expected to support.”

 

“I agreed to be your wife. Not your puppet. I will support what I think is right. You won't make that decision for me.”

 

Ren scoffed. It was an ugly sound.

 

“You are to be seen as my representative. If I can't keep my own Queen at my side, _on my side_ , I'll be made to look like an idiot.” He stepped closer to her. Rey stayed where she was. “If you are seen with the opposition, with the enemy, and showing them more affection than...” It looked like he couldn't even finish. “I saw you. He held your hand. Smiled at you like he would a lover. Give me one reason why I shouldn't strike him down where he stands?”

 

“Lay one hand on Poe and I will show you just how good I am at striking too” Rey seethed.

 

“Do you want him to rescue you? Is that it? The masked freak has now lost his appeal and you want someone dashing to play in the flowers with you?”

 

“I didn't think I needed rescuing. You're doing a fantastic job of changing my mind though.” Rey spat.

 

“ _What were you doing with him?”_ Ren bellowed.

 

“Living my life!” Rey screamed back. “You think that because you give me a few books and new clothes that you have the right to tell me how to spend my time? I'm going to say this ONCE: I can honestly say, my hand to the Force, that I have no romantic feelings for Dameron WHATSOEVER. Nothing is going on, nothing ever will go on and I wouldn't let anything anyway! Do you know actually defended you today? I told him that you were not so bad as he thought. That you had goodness in you. That actually being married to you wouldn't be the worst outcome of my life. That I could be happy.”

 

Ren's eyes were still dark but he looked winded. Like he couldn't comprehend what she had admitted.

 

Screw that, Rey was fuming.

 

“I have kept every promise I have made to you. I've kept all your secrets safe. I've tried to be your friend. I actually thought we had made progress. I would never betray you!”

 

Silence fell between them.

 

“I expect loyalty. I told you this.” Ren rasped.

 

“And I expect respect. I told _you_ this.” And with that, Rey stormed down the hall and slammed the bedroom door behind her.

 

Rey had a lump in her throat that burned so much she felt she couldn't breathe. But she didn't cry. She would be damned if she cried over something that shouldn't even have gotten to the stage of raised voices.

 

It was only later that she realised she would have to sleep in her rooms tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

Ren hadn't gone to bed that night. He'd instead locked himself in the training room at the other side of the palace and made short work of destroying everything his lightsaber came into contact with. He pushed his body to limits that he hadn't for some time. He lifted weights that threatened to rip the tendons in his arms, he went through lightsaber forms until he was slick with sweat and did so many sit ups at one point he had to stop to be sick.

 

He wouldn't have slept. She wouldn't have come to his bed that night. So sleep was best avoided.

 

Every practise droid seemed to have Dameron's face. Every droid lay in pieces at his feet seconds later.

 

The problem with contentment was when it was snatched away, you remembered how happy you were and there is nothing but the wish to claw it back.

 

Because he had. He'd been happy.

 

He'd always woke first and started every day studying the girl next to him. In sleep, she seemed to radiate innocence and light. The desire to trace the freckles over her nose made his fingers itch. Her sleeping shirt often fell over her shoulder in her sleep. Her collarbone was exposed. Her freckles had travelled down…

 

Ren had been forced to get out of bed before her to preserve both his sanity and dignity.

 

His feelings for her were beginning to frighten him. He didn't recognise them and didn't want to get acquainted with them either.

 

The girl had begun to change him. To see her would calm him. To feel her touch stopped his nightmares.

 

A purely primal instinct he could deal with. And he was dealing with it (primarily in the shower before she woke up). The tenderness had no antidote.

 

He'd stopped trying to kid himself that she only had the potential of beauty. She _was_ beauty.

 

So to catch her smiling that smile (wide, uninhibited and shining) at the Resistance whelp of all people… she'd never smiled at him like that.

 

He returned to his rooms as the sun was rising. The ache of his physical exertions would hopefully let him fall into an exhausted sleep if not a peaceful one.

 

The place was eerily quiet as he let himself in. His bed too big. Her smell fading from the pillow.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Dinner between them was tense and with a frosty silence. He knew it was wrong to accuse her. She had proved herself trustworthy against all odds but dammit, he had the right to be angry. She knew he hated Dameron. Was this her trying to make a point?

 

Ren was about to retire for the night when he remembered he had taken his gloves off to eat and had left them on the dining room table.

 

Walking in, he frowned at what greeted him.

 

Rey was inspecting the leftovers and slipping a selection of items into a bag.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Rey spun around and hid the bag from his view. Like it was precious.

 

“Why are you scavenging leftovers?”

 

“They are still good enough to eat.” Rey replied stiffly. She clearly wasn't ready to make nice.

 

“Just call Maz if you want something. It won't be stale for a start.”

 

“It's not for now. It's for… emergencies.”

 

“Emergencies?” Ren's confusion was mounting. Her eyes were on him, wary and ready to fight for that bag if needs be. It hit him and all the exercises he had done the previous night didn't hurt this much. “You think I would deny you food?”

 

“No.” Her response was immediate. Her eyes were contradictory.

 

Kriff, she really didn't trust him at all, did she?

 

“I would never starve you.” He wanted to be angry, furious at her ingratitude, but all he could feel was a bone-weary sadness. She would never smile at him like Dameron because she still saw him as a monster.

 

Ren turned away and left the room quietly. He heard her calling him to come back but, for once, he didn't want to look at her.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The door opened that night and Ren wondered if he had finally slipped into a strange dream where he actually got what he wanted for once.

 

It was only when he felt her touch that he decided that he would never have a dream that sweet.

 

“I'm sorry.” Rey whispered at the back of his head. “It's instinct. Survival.”

 

“I don't want to fight. Just stop smiling at Dameron all the damn time.”

 

“He's still my friend.”

 

“I don't have to like him.” Ren replied. “You don't like Hux.”

 

A chuckle caused her breath to brush the nape of his neck. “Hux isn't your friend. You hate him.”

 

“It's a comfortable hatred.”

 

They went quiet after that and Ren was confident that a sense of peace had been restored if only in the form of a truce.

 

Sleep didn't come as easily to Ren as it normally did when she was at his side. He needed to earn her trust yet give her independence.

 

There were military strategies that were easier.

 

Just to see her smile like she had in the gardens. With flowers in her hair. Happy and relaxed and-

 

Flowers.

 

Ren thought it over three times and then nodded to himself.

 

It was a long shot but it might just work.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey had placed the holograph chip into BB8 and told her to keep it safe. She hadn't asked the little droid to play the message. She wanted to be somewhere safe and without the chance of disturbance when she watched it. There was also the question of whether she actually did want to see it.

 

It felt like it could cause a ripple effect she couldn't control.

 

For the time being, it would be protected by her adopted droid until she decided what to do.

 

Herself and Ren were still a little awkward. Like they were trying a bit too hard to be polite. It was so utterly new to them that it was bordering on ridiculous.

 

Ren seemed preoccupied. She worried that her food hoarding had wounded him even more than she had feared. She hadn't expected him to find out or thought over how it would look. It was the scavenger in her coming out to play.

 

Scavengers didn't have much practise in dealing with wounded eyes and shattered confidence.

 

Two days later, Ren approached Rey in the morning.

 

“Would you mind taking a walk?” He asked.

 

Rey nodded and followed him

 

He took her through the gardens. It was so strange to walk through the flowers where she could act like an excitable girl with the masked figure of fear. He took her through the labyrinth that she had explored before. Eventually they came to a halt at a certain point.

 

Ren fished a hand into his pocket and took out a key chip. Rey recognised it as the door she had discovered when she had been exploring. The forgotten garden.

 

The door swung open with some effort. The weeds had grown across the entrance making it harder to enter.

 

Stepping over the weeds and walking into the garden, Rey looked around. There were trees lining the walls with bushes overgrown and brambles that needed care. No flowers survived in this time warp.

 

“This was my grandmother's.” Ren announced. “Her private garden.”

 

“Oh.” Rey nodded.

 

Ren held out the key chip for her. She took it and looked at it.

 

“It's yours.”

 

“The key?”

 

“The garden.”

 

Rey looked up so sharply that her neck was in danger of snapping. “What?”

 

“It's yours. The garden. You can have it. Do what you want with it.”

 

Rey looked around. Ren must have misunderstood her wide eyes.

 

“It needs work obviously. A lot of work. But it will be yours to do what you will. Maz has checked the ground and earth. It's fertile. You can maybe grow plants. Food.”

 

“Grow my own food?” Rey whispered.

 

“Well, if it will stop you stealing stale bread then-”

 

Rey threw her arms around the middle of Ren's torso. He was silent and so stiff it would have been funny if she wasn't so touched.

 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” His broadness dwarfed her and, for the first time, she understood why people allowed others close: it made them feel like they were safe.

 

A gloved hand placed itself on her upper back and stroked gently.

 

Amongst the weeds, new flowers would bloom.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 1am in Britain and I need to be up in five hours. 
> 
> EDIT: The beautiful art is courtousy of http://haloren1st.tumblr.com/post/156633655933. Go to Tumblr and give her so much love! 
> 
> Kudos and comments would soothe the balm of that sting.


	17. Washing Away The Stone Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening fellow Force Fans.
> 
> I'm staggered. Bemused. Humbled. All those and a million other incredible feelings for all the lovely feedback I've had. Writing is one of the only things I've ever been able to do well and without struggle so for people to think my daft stories are good is such a thrill. This is why FanFiction is so important to so many people. It's a community come together to celebrate an amazing world. 
> 
> You don't know what every kudos and comments means. So thank you. 
> 
> I wrote the rain scene to 'Define Dancing' by Thomas Newman. 
> 
> Also... *coughs nervously* it starts to earn its rating.
> 
> Enjoy.

 

The following two days that followed Ren's present saw Rey in such a happy mood that Jess had complained that she was stealing her crown as the bubbly one.

 

She loved her garden. It wasn't so big as to give her too much to do or too small that she couldn't realise everything she could do. For a girl who had spent her life taking things apart, the prospect of transforming and building something of her own into a finished, hopefully pretty, piece was so exciting. Rey had sent off requests for as many flowers as the delivery droids could get their hands on.

 

Rey had felt a brief moment of anxiety that Ren might use this as an excuse to dictate to her what she could and couldn't do again. However, she had continued to have her breakfast with Finn and work on the X-wing with Poe and Jess. Granted, he didn't look ecstatic but she did notice he said nothing in retaliation. His mouth did twist like he was suffering tooth ache and he did look sceptical, almost nervous, when she would come back in the evening but he said nothing.

 

It also didn't hurt that she now tended to spend only two hours in the hanger before running off to start digging up the garden. This resulted in her coming back with mud all over her clothes and talking, with the enthusiasm of a four-year-old on sugar, about how she was going to plant rose bushes.

 

Ren didn't even try to pretend as though he had a single clue about flowers but his stony silence tended to melt into barely-concealed amusement.

 

So, in short, both were back to a contentedness that always made their living arrangement easier.

 

Except there was something that was playing on Rey's mind.

 

Every time she saw BB8, she was reminded of what the little droid held. A part of her did consider destroying it. There was a sense of foreboding about having something directly from the Resistance that Poe seemed keen to keep from Ren. And she didn't want to lie to Ren.

 

He'd shown that he was trying to trust her. It was something that didn't come easy but he was trying. To then go behind his back made Rey feel like she was a wretched person.

 

On the other hand, it had been whether she was encouraging Poe on a romantic level that had got him upset.

 

Nothing about his mother had ever been mentioned.

 

So with that flimsy reasoning, she waited until she was alone in the garden with the door locked and, asking BB8 to keep the message volume relatively quiet, she asked the droid to play it.

 

The holovid was blue and only contained one solitary figure. Somehow, ridiculously, Rey had expected her to be as she was in the portrait outside Ren's chambers. Expected her to be still a young woman with long brown hair.

 

The woman in the hologram was past the age of fifty from Rey's observation and she could see her hair was greying. It was in an up-do that looked somewhat reminiscent to the famous buns she reportedly wore yet more practical. She seemed to be dressed quite casually and would pass for an engineer if there wasn't something, even now, that resonated from her.

 

It was like an aura of a warrior. Of a Queen. Of a woman who had seen and lost far too much.

 

“ _Hello Rey. I trust that Dameron has informed you that I wanted to talk to you._ ” Rey noted that her voice was slightly raspy; it suited her. “ _Before I start, I just want to tell you that I'm not doing this for any other motive other than a desire to know you in some capacity. It's been so long since I had any news from my son that I'll admit to grasping what I can._ _To hear that he planned to marry a descendant of the Kenobi family was the first pleasant news I have had about him in years. I was even more pleased when Dameron delivered such a glowing report. I dare say he may be of the opinion you are too good for… Anyway, this message is just to bid you well and welcome you to my family. If you are ever in need of assistance or any help, you have only to send word. Your grandfather had many friends within the Resistance, myself included, as he was a good man. I must also ask a favour of you: I would be quite obliged to look upon you. No descriptions compare with seeing your face for myself and hear_ _ing_ _a message. If this is not something you are comfortable with I understand. But_ _k_ _now you have friends here. You need only look_.” Leia Organa smiled at her and then the holovid flickered and ended.

 

Rey kept looking at the space that her future mother-in-law's image had occupied.

 

In some ways, it was better than she could have hoped for. And also worse.

 

It was evident, if only to Rey, that The General's desire to get to know her a little better as the last possible link to her son was genuine. She also believed that some communication would be greatly appreciated. And therein lay the problem.

 

If the holovid had been to try and embroil her into betraying information to the Resistance, Rey might have been able to walk away. Yes, she had absolutely no love for the First Order and would love to see it disbanded, but she was no-ones puppet.

 

To be asked for a personal message, one simply saying hello if needs be, was harder to harden her heart to.

 

Looking into the eyes of Ren's mother had bought up some troubling truths.

 

Like the fate that had befallen Ren's father.

 

It wasn't something she had forgotten or likely to ever understand. The very idea still left her cold and was like an open wound. Han Solo was never going to die in a warm bed by all accounts. It was indeed a miracle he had seen the age of seventy at all. But to die at the hands of your only child…

 

The First Order also loomed over them like a thundercloud. Rey's refusal to commit to them remained unchangeable. She would rather go back to Jakku and live off quarter portions for the rest of her life and she never made a claim like that lightly.

 

Yet by the time she had returned to their chambers that night, she was greeted by the sight of Ren sat on the sofa in their living area, engrossed by a holobook. He looked up and gave her a quivering of the lips which she knew to be his attempt at appearing friendly. There was something so awkward yet innocent and well-meaning about the man she had come home to. Compared to the one she knew to exist and capable of being a figure of fear, she felt even more confused.

 

Dinner that night was quiet. Rey pretended to be hungry and made sure her mouth was full at all times so she wouldn't be expected to talk. She wasn't so stupid as to believe Ren wouldn't notice. When you spend the majority of your day in the company of another, you tend to pick up on things a bit quicker.

 

As usual, his question to her that night was fairly non-intrusive.

 

“How is the garden coming along?”

 

Rey couldn't help the smile. “Good. I have a lot of de-weeding to do and the brambles need to see some sheers. But it's neater than it was this morning already.”

 

“That's not hard.” Ren mused, picking up his glass of wine, “Maz mentioned it had become unkempt. She failed to mention that I was, by extension, gifting you a jungle.”

 

Rey shrugged. “More to do. And I don't like to be idle.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

Rey thought for a moment than asked hers:

 

“Did you ever play in that garden?”

 

Ren shock his head. “I knew of it but it wasn't exactly in pristine condition when I was a boy. My mother wasn't the type to enjoy gardening. Running a galaxy tends to take up a lot of time.” There was a hint of bitterness in his tone.

 

“Was she away a lot?”

 

“Not out of the palace so much, no. But just because she was here didn't mean she was… _here._ Her body could be at the dinner table but her mind would be in Coruscant.”

 

“What about your father?” It was whispered but Ren heard. His eyes, which had started to be less defensive and more open in Rey's company, started to shut down.

 

“The deal was one question a night.”

 

The smart-arse part of Rey felt like pointing out that he had already answered an extra question by default but she wasn't in the mood for an argument tonight. She felt contemplative. She studied this man who she had come to know better than she had anyone her whole life and yet whom she barely could scratch the surface of.

 

Ren stood from the table and walked out without a word. Rey didn't try and call him back.

 

* * *

 

Ren wondered if she would stay away from him that night but Rey had clearly come to the point of not letting arguments interrupt her routine. She climbed under the covers of the bed five minutes after the light went out and quickly fell asleep.

 

Ren conceded quickly, if only to himself, that you can't really call it an argument if only one of you has a grievance. Besides, if they stayed away from each other every time they had a disagreement, he'd be lucky to get Rey in his bed one night a month.

 

Ren slept well as he often did now and woke before Rey as usual. He then indulged in his morning ritual of studying her as she slept.

 

Her persona from last night unnerved him. She'd been quiet all night but didn't seem to be angry with him for any reason in particular. (For which he was thankful as Ren, for the life of him, couldn't think what he was supposed to have done this time)

 

Her gaze had been curious, conflicted and weary but not so much hostile. More like she was trying to work something out and didn't have a clue where to start. He remembered her prodding about his childhood and went cold. If there was a door he would like to keep locked and bolted, even to her, that was the one.

 

Anyone else would have encountered more than hostility. Anyone else…

 

He looked at her. There was something so delicate about her, so soft, so fresh.

 

A thread of hair had fallen into her face. He reached a hand to brush it away but froze when he came within inches of face.

 

She lay her hands on him nearly daily now. For him to try and touch her… to feel her hair, feel her skin, to see what his calloused palm would feel like rubbing her, soothing her, calming her, maybe rousing her.

 

Ren got out of bed quickly and headed to the fresher.

 

Gripping the sink, he tried to keep his breathing level.

 

This was ridiculous. The first time he'd felt arousal, he hadn't been too worried. He was a man and there was a young girl lying next to him. It was bound to happen once in a while.

 

Once in a while had unfortunately turned into every-morning-like-clockwork. He glared down at the obvious tent in his pants like he could frighten it away with a glare. He was thirty-years-old. Why was he now reacting like pre-pubescent boy? In fact, he was fairly confident he hadn't had this problem as often then as he was now.

 

Sighing, he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the fresher.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Rey blinked several times and then stretched under the covers. He wasn't in bed with her. Nothing new there.

 

She'd slept quite well all things considered. She had spent the night turning over her options. She decided that she would send Leia a message of greeting. There was nothing political about saying hello. Yeah, if she kept repeating that she might even believe it.

 

She considered turning back over to get a little more sleep when she felt the tug of the Force. It was Ren's signature.

 

Sitting up, she reached out. He was… not in danger. Or suffering. But there was a desperation. A need.

 

Curious and a little concerned, Rey shut her eyes and focussed. And promptly snapped them open again.

 

She could see Ren. He was close. He was safe. And also wet and naked.

 

Cheeks burning, Rey slid under the covers. That was a new trick that she didn't know she could do.

 

The Force was becoming more prominent in her life. Her exercises with moving items meant she was more attuned to how the Force really was a huge part of her life. Even if she had never realised growing up. She'd noticed that if she concentrated she was able to work out where Ren was and what mood he was in. It was a good trick for knowing how to approach him when she came home. But she'd never actually been able to _see_ him.

 

Maybe his barriers were down. Maybe he assumed no-one would bother him. The one place he could be safe and have some peace. It made her feel even worse.

 

Sadly this new found ability was now keen to take centre stage in her mind. So, whenever she closed her eyes, she could see him in all his glory. And when she kept them open she could still sense him.

 

He was… what _was_ he doing?

 

Giving in, she closed her eyes. Maybe by embracing this she could learn to control it.

 

He was so pale. That was the first thing she noticed. It made his black hair, all the darker now thanks to the water soaking it, stand all the proud. She was moved to see that his freckles didn't stop at his face and peppered his shoulders and back too. Rey couldn't help but wonder how a man who had been hidden and covered up for ten years could have freckles all over the place. He must have spent more time outside than he initially admitted. The only other mark on him was the angry red slash that Bazine's blade had left behind

 

The broadness of him had always been a fascinating thing for her and now she could see the source. He was tall, no denying that, but the pale skin seemed to accentuate the muscles they covered. His back seemed to move on its own accord while he rinsed soap from his hair and his arms looked powerful from just that casual motion.

 

A part of Rey wanted to rip her eyes away at that point and another wanted to never stop looking. In the end the scavenger side won. And scavengers don't leave a find until they've examined every crevice.

 

The soap had run down his back and was sliding over his bum. Rey whimpered. It looked… not like a monster's. It look pale and smooth and well-cushioned. It put hers to shame, she mused.

 

Ren turned in the small space to tip his head back against the water to rinse the suds out of his hair. In any other circumstances, Rey would have mused that he looked so young when his eyes were closed. But, in any other circumstances, Rey wouldn't be seeing the main attraction of the show.

 

His muscles were as prominent on his chest as they were his back. She noticed that, although undeniably fit and strong, there was a softness to his torso that was lacking from the rest of his upper body. She'd seen Poe with his shirt off once or twice and noted that the pilot was pure muscle. Having held only muscles herself all her life, Rey was surprised to find her heart didn't race though she had nodded her approval.

 

Now looking at the uncovered form of her teacher and companion, she felt herself relate more to Finn's reaction to seeing Poe with his top off. (And that was to gape and accidentally drop a wrench on his foot as a result.)

 

Her eyes trailed down and noticed his hipbones were prominent if not jutting out. Which was more than could be said for…

 

Rey squeaked and opened her eyes as wide as they would go. So that was why he had felt desperate. Not an unpleasant desperation at all.

 

She couldn't see him after that but she felt like her vision was branded with the image. And every time she blinked it would become more vivid.

 

Rey was practically under the pillows and the duvet when she noticed she was starting to feel a bit strange. Like she was too warm and sweaty. There was a throbbing sensation around her pelvis and when she moved her legs together it sent shocks up to her stomach.

 

Confused, she closed her eyes to block it out and was gifted with Ren's activities again.

 

He had himself in his hand and his hand seemed to be moving at a leisurely pace. His face was contorted in a mixture of relief, resentment and want.

 

Rey was mesmerised by it all. His hand, that seemed to dwarf everything it held, seemed to fit quite neatly around himself. She hadn't seen many naked men close up and the ones she had out in Jakku, normally intoxicated by the heat and any alcohol that was being dispensed out there, had disgusted her. Although undoubtedly not attracted to girls on a sexual level, a naked man had always seemed rather obscene to Rey and she had been happy to not get any closer acquainted. Breaking the nose of anyone who came within touching distance helped things on that score.

 

Ren's blatant masculinity didn't make her want to fight it back with her staff and growl though.

 

Somehow, there was something hypnotically beautiful about the obscenity of Ren.

 

His head was thrown back and his hand moving so fast now she could barely see it. His growls were clearly meant to be quiet and then, after one last grimace and hiss, his hand was painted white.

 

Rey was gasping in sync to him. The throbbing in her pelvis was leaving her sticky. A cursory dip inside her knickers to feel it found her brushing against her lower lips which made her want to wail with pleasure.

 

The sound of Ren leaving the shower and getting dressed stopped any though of exploring more. Pulling the covers over her and assuming her previous position, she squeezed her eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. He didn't even come into the room, normally changing in the fresher it seemed, but Rey lay stiff for about fifteen minutes as he moved about their quarters and finally settled in the dining room for breakfast.

 

By the time Rey got up, her arousal had passed and a world of new questions and fears had arrived.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Rey had escaped to her garden as soon as was possible. Ren didn't seem angry after her prodding last night but did stare at her intently and ask if she was feeling unwell. She seemed a little dazed and flushed apparently. Rey couldn't get out of there quick enough.

 

Her intention was to work on the garden until the sun sunk in the sky. She couldn't face breakfast or the hanger. She had the weirdest idea that her friends would take one look at her and know instantly what she'd seen and felt.

 

Her hands deep in the earth, she tried to contemplate what she had seen and also what she'd felt. Rey had never really gotten over the shock that beneath his mask Ren was just a young man. Now she was facing a similar shock to know just how much of a man he was.

 

It shouldn't come as a shock, Rey mused. You spend so much time with him.

 

Things _had_ changed lately. For the both of them. Sleeping next to each other had opened the doors of intimacy. And now she wasn't completely sure it was just his nightmares that kept her hand from reaching for his. Or whether she would indeed sleep the same if the arrangement came to an end.

 

She noticed his dark eyes and his full lips more. She wanted to see him relaxed enough that his barriers would slip away. She could feel adrenaline pumping through her whenever they fought. Like she was truly alive. When she had caught around him in this garden as a thank you, it had felt right. His body felt good pressed against hers.

 

Sitting back on her knees, she sighed. She had no experience with matters like this. No point of reference. Sex and relationships were forbidden to her when she had scavenged. A vulnerability she couldn't afford and offered more dangers than comforts. So now she was feeling an awakening and there was no wisdom for her to fall back on.

 

And that was assuming Ren wouldn't be utterly disgusted by her thoughts. He'd made it clear he didn't require anything of that nature from her unless it was to have children. And even that was a few years down the line.

 

Rey was so preoccupied with her musings and planting that she didn't notice a change in the atmosphere.

 

Since she had arrived in Naboo, she had enjoyed the beautifully warm weather and pink sky dusks of Theed. The pleasant climate was one of its best features. But like all planets, it needed sustenance to thrive.

 

The first spots that landed on her hand she assumed to be moisture from the overhanging trees. When they began to beat a pattern on her, she looked up. Water was hitting her face. The sky above her was now dark.

 

She stared up and let her face get wet. Another first in her life.

 

Rain.

 

Rey shut her eyes and felt the beats of the rain on her skin. It felt like a benediction that she never realised she craved.

 

She couldn't contain the laughs of joy. Her mouth opened and she stuck out her tongue to taste to the rain. It was different to being in the fresher. It tasted of nothing yet everything. Of planets. Of the elements.

 

A rumble of thunder went across the sky and the rain seemed to dominate everything. Her world was submerged in the beats of it.

 

Tugging at the door, she left her little garden. But she didn't go back to the palace. She walked the other way.

 

* * *

 

 

Ren was on his way back from a meeting with Phasma when he noticed the change in weather. Glancing out of the palace window, Ren mused that a spot of rain was overdue. It had been pleasantly warm for over three months. Time for life to stop that.

 

His mask felt all the more strange on him nowadays. He used to wear it in his apartments as well. There had been no point taking it off and putting it on all the time. Nowadays, it came off as soon as he was locked safely in his apartments. Not just for Rey though. It felt like he had discovered a part of himself that could be unshackled for a while.

 

To wear it in the palace halls now succeeded in making his mood as dark as the clouds.

 

He'd passed a corridor overlooking the gardens when he spotted a strange figure in the green. He stopped abruptly.

 

Rey was walking among the flowers of the royal gardens with her head back to the sky. She was soaked to the bone but looked like she was caught in a dream. She wasn't so much walking as swaying.

 

Taking a detour, Ren descended the steps and approached the entrance to the gardens. It was made up of stone arches and had steps that led down to the main courtyard. He stood at the top step and watched as Rey seemed to draw closer.

 

She seemed to have no direction. She seemed to be twirling and…

 

By the Force, was she _dancing?_

 

Eventually Rey spotted him. Standing in the courtyard, she looked at the fully masked figure he was forced to emulate. And smiled so broadly she might have been the sun herself.

 

A sunshine smile. For him.

 

“It's raining!” It burst out of her like she couldn't contain the words. Lifting her arms with her hands cupped, she tried to catch some and probably show it to him.

 

 

Like the tempest that was still raging wasn't proof enough.

 

“You're soaking wet.” Ren replied for lack of anything else to say.

 

“I've never seen rain before.” She was still staring up at the sky. “It's water from _clouds._ Isn't it beautiful?”

 

Ren wasn't sure whether it could be described quite so strongly but one look at her face silenced any sarcasm that might have sprung forth.

 

“Rey, you need to come inside.”

 

She looked like he had announced she would have to go back to eat food that was originally powder.

 

“Why?”

 

“Walking around in thin clothes soaking wet is not a good idea. You could get-”

 

His sentence was cut off by a loud sneeze that came from Rey.

 

“-ill.”

 

Rey looked startled by the sneeze. Having existed in sand and little else, things like wrapping up against a storm would never be taught to her.

 

Rey did eventually join Ren under the arches and walked with him back to their apartments. Her eyes were fixed on the rain that continued to pound the planet and his eyes remained on the shivering girl that continued to inspire things in him he didn't know possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I hope its okay. 
> 
> I hope as always I keep them as in character as is possible while subtly changing them along the way. They wouldn't be the characters we all know and care about otherwise.
> 
> EDIT: The art again is http://haloren1st.tumblr.com/ who has my eternal gratitude!
> 
> Comments are my Prozac.


	18. The Sickness of the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my actual God. The response on this story is overwhelming. I'm actually stunned. Thank you all so much. All the comments and kudos are so important to me.
> 
> Apologises for the bit of the delay. I can't write for the sake of it. If I do, it turns out crap. I have to strike when the iron's hot. 
> 
> I've got a busy month ahead of me so if I'm slower updating, I haven't given up. I'm just exhausted. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Rey blew her nose for what must have been the fiftieth time and groaned. She hated it when Ren was right.

 

She'd changed out of her wet clothes as soon as she had got back to their chambers and had a hot bath but it was apparent that the damage was done. Despite her insistence she was fine and she'd never been ill a day in her life, Ren called the Medi-droid when she started to shiver so violently in bed that she woke him up.

 

A cursory examination confirmed that she had caught a nasty chill. The floating droid recommended hot fluids and medicine. And a few days bed-rest.

 

If she hadn't been in the middle of a sneezing fit, she might have screamed.

 

She wasn't so sure she liked the rain any more.

 

“What you must understand,” the droid explained in a voice not dissimilar to C3-P0: effective, gentle and almost a little blundering. “is that you have spent your life in a hot climate. Naboo is nowhere near as harsh and is prone to colder spells. Your immune system has not got the wherewithal that your friends have. Even a slight cold could knock you off balance until your body learns to adapt.”

 

“Is it serious?” She asked having never had a cold before and they weren't exactly common on Jakku.

 

“Not if treated properly. You should be back to normal within a week.”

 

A week of doing nothing. Rey couldn't think of anything worse.

 

The medi-droid floated off and Ren re-entered the room (having hid himself away when the droid turned up). He'd insisted she stay in his bed to recuperate. Lying there now, albeit feeling dozy and bunged up, made her feel smaller than she liked.

 

“If you say 'I told you so'...” Rey mumbled, slumping against the pillows.

 

“That would be a little pointless if you have already beaten me to it.”

 

Rey opened one closed eye to glare at him. His expression was resigned but not unkind.

 

“I will have Maz come and keep an eye on you when I'm occupied. Hux has insisted I oversee preparations for the Stormtroopers to begin more extensive training.” It sounded almost like an apology.

 

“You don't have to bother Maz,” Rey dismissed, “I'm fine on my own.”

 

“When I say 'keep an eye on you' I do mean literally.” Rey opened both eyes in confusion. Ren had an eyebrow raised in a way practically sardonic. “Don't think I don't know you well enough to know you'll be out of bed as soon as I'm gone.”

 

“If you have so little trust in me, why are you leaving at all?” Rey had meant for it to sound taunting. It sounded almost unhappy.

 

Ren must have noticed as he went quiet for a moment. Rey feigned weariness and closed her eyes. Hoping her blushing cheeks would be mistaken for a fever.

 

“I can run the galaxy or I can keep you in bed all day. I can't possibly do both.”

 

***

 

Ren was as good as his word and wouldn't leave her alone until Maz had come to their chambers. The tiny woman scrutinized Rey's no doubt haggard appearance and nodded sagely.

 

“Nasty bout of flu but nothing too serious. Saw enough of these on Takodana. I will make you some home remedies that were popular there.”

 

Ren and Maz retreated into the hallway. Rey strained her ears to listen as they hadn't fully shut the door.

 

“The medi-droids have left a list of medicines on the bedside table and a schedule to take them by. They said if she sticks to that, she should be fine.” Ren's voice advised.

 

“No doubt.” Maz agreed.

 

A pause.

 

“Do you think I should consult a second opinion? She's never had the flu before. Her immune system has never had to-”

 

“The girl is strong. Even with things that she's never had to deal with before.” Maz's voice wisely reassured. “It will take more than a virus to steal her from you.”

 

“If she worsens-”

 

“Then I will call for you.”

 

It was quiet for a while and the sound of the door closing indicated that Ren had finally taken Maz at her word.

 

Rey closed her eyes with a little smile. Taking care of one another seemed to be something they were excelling at.

 

***

 

Rey woke a few hours later, more rested but still finding it more difficult to breathe comfortably than she would have liked.

 

Maz appeared and handed her a hot drink.

 

“Old family remedy. Should take the edge off your throat.”

 

Rey drank the liquid. It was hot and sweet with a tinge of what tasted like honey.

 

“The boys have been asking about you.” Maz sat on the chair that Rey had sat on all those nights ago when she had first seen Ren's face after the incident in the forest. She needed to climb onto the seat and her feet were nowhere near the ground but she looked comfortable.

 

“Are they okay?” Rey asked, leaning back on the pillows.

 

“As good as usual. They seemed irritated when I was reluctant to plead their case for them to come and see you.”

 

“Why can't they?” Rey asked.

 

Maz looked at Rey through her goggles with a look that, if it had a verbal phrase, would translate as 'Seriously?'.

 

“Ren may have allowed you into his living space and me by default but the same restrictions still apply to letting people close.”

 

Rey could only nod. In her own bizarre way, the routine that Ren and herself had developed meant that there were times when she forgot about his inability to be with other people. When they were together, eating, talking, reading, sleeping, they were just two lonely people who had found an unlikely companion. A part of her sometimes slipped into thinking what she used to when she first met him. That the garb and helmet was just a costume worn for effect.

 

She forgot in those instances the effect that would come over him if they were taken away.

 

“Do they know? The reason why Ren hides away? Do they know?”

 

“No. There are rumours, there are always rumours, but nothing concrete. They assumed, they all assume, that he is maimed or scarred. Or just not quite human. I think Ren prefers it.” Maz admitted.

 

“Why don't you tell them? Why don't you explain like you did to me?”

 

Maz sighed and put down the medicine bottles she had been examining back on the table. “My hand was forced with you. I would not tell anyone who didn't need to know.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because it's not my secret to tell. And I won't risk Ren's trust. It took me long enough to procure.”

 

“But if it will make Finn and Poe realise-”

 

“Ren doesn't care what they think of him. He sees them as the enemy. It's probably driven him crazy that you are so close to them.”

 

Rey said nothing, remembering the heated argument that had taken place when he had spotted Poe and herself in the gardens talking.

 

“They are still my friends.”

 

“Of course. And you have every right to them.” Maz agreed. “But spreading the truth that Ren has a fatal weakness is never a good idea. There are many who would use it against him. If he was ever overpowered or captured…” Maz didn’t finish. She didn't need to. The very idea of Ren enduring such pain made Rey nauseous and it had little to do with her illness.

 

“Tell them that I'm okay then.” Rey asked Maz before succumbing to a coughing fit.

 

“I will. I'll omit from saying that you are actually in Ren's bed though. Might raise more questions than I can answer.”

 

Rey flushed and waited for an onslaught of questions but Maz seemed disinterested in explanations.

 

“He probably wanted me to be comfortable. More room… to recover...” Rey winced. As far as explanations went, it was as feeble as Finn's spy techniques.

 

“He cares for you child. You can both look the other way all you like. The truth lies where you refuse to look.” Maz smiled. “More tea?”

 

Rey could only nod.

 

***

 

Rey found herself drifting in and out of sleep thanks to the copious medicines she was forced to take. She found for the first time she didn't mind sleeping so much. When she was awake, it was difficult to get comfortable. She lamented about all the times she had breathed freely and without trouble and vowed never to take it for granted again. It was such a wonderful thing to stand up and not feel dizzy.

 

She woke up after about her fourth nap to find it was dark and the sound of heavy footfalls in the living area.

 

He was back.

 

It was with both surprise and shock that she realised she wanted to see him straight away.

 

Luckily, a coughing fit demanded immediate attention and was loud enough to draw Ren's notice.

 

For a man who dressed like a shadow he had become like a candle to Rey: not bright enough to be noticeable in a bright shining city but gentle and offering warmth when close.

 

“You look a little better.” Ren noted.

 

“I feel like shit.” Rey moaned.

 

“Does anything feel worse?” Ren asked.

 

“No, just consistently crap.” Rey replied. He'd come to stand by the bed.

 

Rey watched curiously as he sighed and pulled off one of his leather gloves. She had always marvelled at the size of his hands. They seemed about the size of a shovel.

 

Gently, he placed his palm on her forehead. She suddenly felt what he must have felt the first time she had come into his room and comforted him. His hands were calloused yet his touch gentle.

 

He pulled his hand away and looked at his palm as though about to have an argument with it.

 

Rey could only lie prone and frozen as he sat down beside her.

 

“I need an accurate temperature. My palms are too warm.”

 

Pushing himself up, he loomed over her and finally placed his forehead against hers.

 

“What...” Rey had lost her vocal abilities in the shock.

 

“Shhh.” His eyes were closed and he looked focused. He was so close their noses were nearly touching and Rey could see he had more freckles than she had previously thought. He smelt of leather from his outfit and soap. He smelt like a man. Smelt like a place to safely build a foundation.

 

He eventually opened his eyes but didn't pull away. He seemed almost taken aback to find Rey staring at him. His breath was tickling her lips. The strange sensation that had assaulted her at the vision of him in the shower was coming back. It trickled like water down her until it reached her core. She found herself trying to rub her legs together.

 

He must have mistook it for a squirm of discomfort. He sat up abruptly and Rey could only gasp as though he was taking the very breath from her. That only sparked another coughing fit.

 

Rey managed to right herself after a moment of coughing into her hand and took a glass of water that Ren wordlessly held out.

 

“You are still warmer than I would like but you don't have a fever. As long as you rest, you should recover in time.”

 

“Where did you learn that thing you did?” Rey pointed to her forehead as an indication of what she meant.

 

Ren looked uncomfortable and like he wanted to be anywhere else than standing here with her eyes on him. She wished that she didn't always inspire that look. Like he was burdened by her presence.

 

“Fine. Don't tell me.” Rey sighed and turned over to try and get some rest.

 

Footsteps indicated he was leaving and she could only sigh to herself when she heard him say:

 

“My mother. When I was a child. She used to press her forehead to mine when I was sick. It's more accurate apparently.”

 

Rey turned back over to look at him but in the time it took her to move, he was already gone.

 

 

***  
  
  
The next few days followed much the same routine. Rey felt significantly better but was still forbidden from venturing out of bed. The naps that had been comforting to her was now beyond irritating. She kept dreaming of all the lovely things she could be doing in her little garden or all the things she could have fixed on Poe's X-Wing. The blankets and sheets seemed to be reinfecting her by this point.

 

Ren had continued to keep an eye on her symptoms. He was in some ways more methodical than the medi-droids. He hadn't attempted to try to take her temperature since though.

 

Oddly, he didn't seem concerned himself about catching her cold as he continued to sleep next to her at night. Rey had considered recommending that she sleep in her own room to reduce the risk but, every night as he came to bed, the words would die in her throat.

 

Being left to entertain herself proved difficult for Rey as she was now all to aware of Ren's morning ritual. And all it entailed.

 

Rey tried to block it out, tried to practise reading, try and take a medicine that would make her sleep through it.

 

Towards the end of the week, she had stopped trying to block out the images and stopped pretending that she didn't want to see it.

 

It had its pitfalls of course. As soon as the show was over and Ren got out of the shower to dry himself, she would feel awful. A mixture of dirty and dishonest. She knew she should have told Ren that she was now strong enough to see images of other Jedi actions or at least enlighten him to what exactly she was seeing. Yet he seemed none the wiser. In one way, Rey was proud that she was so good at blocking attacks on her mind. On the other, she felt even more guilty when he looked at her with unsuspecting eyes.

 

The feelings that stirred within her when she watched the images were beginning to bleed through the cracks of their daily life. Sometimes she would watch him do something as simple as eat some fruit with his fingers and would feel flushed and greedy for something she didn't even know.

 

She began to relish the night-time for an excuse to feel the warmth of his body lying next to hers. Would wait for him to be asleep before touching a strand of his hair. Would lay her hands on his skin without waiting for a nightmare to occur.

 

It was becoming dangerous to her sanity and she feigned sleep a lot more just so she didn't have to endure another day of looking and not touching.

 

Maybe Ren was right. Maybe being alone was easier.

 

* * *

 

The first thing he noticed when he woke was her lack of presence.

 

The room was still bathed in darkness indicating it was still in the depths of night-time. Something that Ren could hear was a rumbling sound outside and a lashing against the shutters and window panes.

 

Getting out of bed, Ren left the room and scanned the living room area.

 

Rey was sat on the window seat of the biggest window in his apartments. The shutters were open and the flashes of light from outside were the only light in the room. Her back was to him and he could tell without seeing her face that she was watching with a mixture of wonder and awe.

 

“I thought your subsequent cold would have stopped your fascination with bad weather.”

 

“It woke me up.” Rey's eyes were still on the storm. Coming up closer behind her, Ren looked at the view the window provided. The trees in the garden were being beaten by the wind, the moon was covered by cloud and the world grumbled its disapproval and threw lights across the sky.

 

“I don't think you could call this beautiful.” Ren commented.

 

“But it is.” Her voice was revered. Tinged with that childlike quality that she still wore despite her hard life. The blanket wrapped around her only added to it.

 

She turned to look at him. It was only then that Ren noticed that her hair was loose. He'd never seen her with her hair undone before.

 

Somehow he already foresaw him using the image of her with her hair loose and wild later on today.

 

“You shouldn't be out of bed. You're still not quite back to normal.”

 

“I'm sitting, aren't I?” Rey dismissed. “And look. I've got a blanket.”

 

Ren sighed. “Don't stay up too long.” And turned to leave.

 

“Where are you going? Don't you want to watch?” Rey sounded genuinely curious.

 

“I've seen storms before. Seen one, seen them all.” Ren was becoming more aware of their levels of undress. Wearing only sleeping trousers and a tank top, they'd never conversed when he was not fully dressed. When they had slept and got into bed, the lights were off and nothing was said.

 

“But this is my first one. I want to talk to someone about it.” Rey pressed.

 

“We can. In the morning.” Ren turned to leave again.

 

“Please. I want to share one milestone with another person.”

 

The temptation to pull his hair out or roll his eyes into his skull was so strong he could almost taste it. Instead, he turned to face her again and sat down awkwardly on the seat. There was a part of him that felt nervous next to a window unmasked. The lack of light and the storm helped subdue the fear of being seen. The gardens were deserted.

 

“Were there storms like this when you were young?” Rey asked, her nose practically to the glass.

 

“Now and again.”

 

“It's oddly exciting, isn't it?” Rey smiled. “We only had sandstorms on Jakku. Not quite as exhilarating.”

 

“Some people don't like these types of storms either.”

 

Rey looked away and at him. He instinctively looked out of the window to avoid her gaze.

 

“Were you afraid of them?” She asked gently.

 

“No!” It was too harsh. He didn't mean for it to sound that harsh. Her eyes were still on him. Still kind. “When I was younger, storms played a part in my dreams. In my nightmares.”

 

He felt her shift beside him. “If it's too much, you don't have to-”

 

“I'm not afraid of them now. My nightmares are of worse things now.”

 

The thunder rolled above their heads. Silence lingered between them for a time.

 

“Thank you for caring for me. When I've been ill.” Rey whispered.

 

“I didn't. Maz did the bulk of the work.”

 

“Whatever. Thank you anyway.” She was shifting again and somehow seemed to have gotten closer to him. “Just so you know… if you ever need to be taken care of, from illness or whatever, I'll return the favour. I'll look after you.”

 

The earnestness of her voice and the poignancy of the words caused Ren to wrench his eyes from the ravages of the storm and look at her.

 

She was looking at his shoulders. Tracing the imperfection of his freckled skin with her eyes. Like he was fascinating. Like he was worth looking at. She seemed to be trembling a little.

 

“You're cold.”

 

“Keep me warm then.”

 

Ren could only look at her. She always seemed so small next to him. So fragile. A complete lie of course. Her strength was renowned. Yet when he slowly and awkwardly put his arms around her, he was scared that she would crush him. Crush everything he was. Everything he had built for himself. Every wall that had protected him for so long.

 

When she held onto his shoulders and put her head on his chest, he was scared that he wouldn't even care if she did.

 

* * *

 

Rey woke to quietness and warmth.

 

Quietness of the lack of thunder. This must be what they call the calm after the storm, she mused.

 

Warmth from the body dwarfing her and holding her.

 

She couldn't remember going to bed. He must have carried her. And hadn't let go of her all night. The thought sent thrills down her spine.

 

She had never woken before him before. Had never woken up to him. (Or with her back to him)

 

She could feel every inch of him. _Every_ inch.

 

Her cheeks flamed when she realised what it was that was poking into the soft globes of her bum. Yet she made no move to get away from him. She may have, if she was being honest with herself, snuggled up a little closer…

 

Rey wasn't completely naive. She'd heard that it was common in men in the mornings (after Jess had enlightened her during chats over the engine).

 

It's normal. It's natural. I could be anyone. It doesn't mean anything.

 

This became her mantra as she felt Ren begin to stir.

 

It was similar to when they woke up together that first morning. A moment of calm and then she could feel the realisation and the horror radiate off him.

 

The warmth was gone abruptly. She was tired of the cold.

 

“Ren-”

 

“Don't! I...” His voice sounded pained.

 

“It's fine. Don't overreact.”

 

“I don't see you having this problem.” He hissed.

 

Rey turned over. Stared at his back. He was sitting upright clutching the mattress ends like he would rip them apart.

 

“How would you know?”

 

“What?”

 

“I said how do you know I don't have this problem?”

 

No response.

 

“Women have similar feelings too. We hide it better. But it's there.”

 

Rey had clearly lost control of her mind and her mouth. Her mouth was making her sound calm and almost confident when in fact she was anything but. She didn't have a clue what it was she was even offering to Ren. Comfort? Perception? Reciprocation?

 

He looked at her eventually. Rey waited for him to laugh in her face. Scream at her for apparently mocking him. Spit out that he had no interest in scavenger scum.

 

His eyes were dark and his breathing skittish. But it wasn't anger. Oh no, it wasn't anger…

 

Rey was still lying where she'd been left. Flat on her back, her hair loose for once, her night shirt over-large and currently lying in a way that exposed her midriff.

 

She was spread out like a feast. And he looked starving.

 

She could sympathise. So was she.

 

The pound on the door to the apartments was like a cold bucket of water to them both.

 

Ren shot off the bed.

 

“My mask...”

 

“I'll get it.” Rey offered.

 

She'd never been less pleased to see General Hux in her life.

 

“Good. You're up.” He sniffed.

 

“I am _now_. What is it?” Rey snapped.

 

“I need to see you and Ren in the council chambers as soon as possible. We have matters to discuss.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Come to the council chambers and find out.” He replied before stalking off.

 

***

 

Rey found herself sitting in the council chambers with Ren within half an hour of opening the door. Ren had clearly heard Hux's voice and was fully dressed in his garb and helmet. Rey was wrapped up against any risk of making her flu worse. Apparently this meeting was meant to take place last week but Rey had been too ill.

 

Rey was sure nothing short of 'hours from death' would perturb Hux now.

 

“I've been working on many details over the last week.” Hux proclaimed. “In the interest of your agreement-” He stopped to glare at Rey as she loudly blew her nose. (Her nose wasn't running; she just wanted to piss him off) “In the interest of your agreement, I'm happy to inform you that your month's trial is up.”

 

Rey went completely still. It couldn't be… But then she did the math in her head.

 

One week. Then another. Then… Crap, it _had_ been a month.

 

“In light of you two seemingly finding some common ground and getting on _so_ well-” Rey glared at Hux. Only he could make it sound almost distasteful. “I have sent out the official announcement of your nuptials.”

 

“You what?” Ren's helmet may have a voice modulator but his outrage was clear.

 

“You knew the deal, Ren.” Hux shrugged unperturbed. “You had a month. The month has passed. Now we move forward.”

 

“So what does this mean exactly?” Rey asked.

 

“It means the date of the wedding has been set. You are to be married in a month.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was okay. 
> 
> The forehead to forehead thing is quite a common method of taking a temperature (primarily in infants). I thought about it and thought "Hmmm I could use this." 
> 
> Kudos and comments are my life source.


	19. Wind on my Face in a Warm Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.
> 
> 1000 kudos. I've got... holy... you don't know how amazing that is to me. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
> 
> You guys have been really understanding with my schedule for which I thank you yet again. It's lovely how supportive people are. Trust me, i would much rather be writing than working. I have more Reylo fic ideas, one being a teacher/student au but I'll wait until I have more time before starting it.
> 
> Check out this little art work from Cheesy Triangle. Inspired by the fic, I'm so flattered.  
> http://cheesytriangle.tumblr.com/post/148513299862/where-flowers-have-light-to-bloom
> 
> I wrote this listening to Flame Trees by The Sacred Heart School. If you haven't heard it, please do. It gives me such a sense of peace.
> 
> Anyway.... enjoy.

Ren and Rey returned to their quarters in silence. The mask was still in place as they walked along the corridors back to their rooms but Rey knew without even looking at him, without the luxury of his expressive face, that he was as stunned as she was.

 

The meeting had descended into chaos pretty quickly. Ren had been on his feet and livid with Hux for going behind their back. In a usual fashion, Hux did not seem in the least chastened and simply pointed out that it was what they had agreed upon.

 

 _If I had my way,_ Hux had announced _, you two would have been married as soon as we touched down in Naboo and all this nonsense would be over with. I've been more than patient. Now I need results._

 

Ren had been seconds away from a force choke, she could feel it, but their connection was strong enough for her to voice her opinion that things were bad enough without Hux spluttering for breath.

 

They left the General to his plans.

 

Upon entering the quarters, Ren strode ahead of her, unlatching the mask and tossing it carelessly away from him. He sat down on the sofa with his back to her.

 

To go to the living area, Rey had to pass the open door of their bedroom. The sight of the unmade bed left her feeling dizzy. A reminder of what nearly happened. Of what they nearly wanted to happen.

 

She closed the door. Now was not the time.

 

Rey walked to the kitchenette and began to boil some water. There was a time for tea and Rey was fairly sure that this was one of them.

 

“You don't have to, you know.” Ren's voice was quiet but firm.

 

“Maz has taught me how to make tea. I'm getting good at it.”

 

“Not the tea.” Rey watched him thread his fingers through his mane. “I mean, the wedding. You don't have to marry me.”

 

Rey froze. They had been having this discussion in a variety of ways over the weeks. He had assured her she could go back to Jakku, he had chased her away, he had dismissed her when she came back and had tried to goad her into giving up on him. But he had never actually said: It's okay. You can go if you want.

 

Somehow, it was the most upsetting to Rey.

 

“I made my decision.” Rey said quietly. “I want to do this.”

 

“Out of duty.” His voice is tired. Resigned.

 

“Not just that. I think we could do some good together. I think we are a good team.”

 

Ren let out what sounded like a snort.

 

Deciding she didn't want this conversation with the back of his head, Rey walked around the sofa. Somehow this didn't feel like their usual arguments with tense words and an antagonistic edge. There was a time to fight and the time to coax.

 

Sitting in a facing chair, she implored him to understand.

 

“This was the deal we made. We shouldn't be surprised.”

 

“I just never thought it would happen. I thought you'd get tired in a week and I would be free to be left alone.”

 

Rey swallowed. “Do you want to be left alone?”

 

In the past, Rey was convinced that he would proclaim “Yes” without so much as a second thought. Now there was only a pause and then a gruff “I don't know.”

 

Rey knew it was progress. So why did she feel disappointment?

 

“Think of it from a purely objective point of view.” Rey said in what she hoped was a breezy and optimistic tone. “You said yourself it is your duty to continue the Skywalker line. This way you will have an heir and – what?”

 

Ren now looked like he was in physical pain. Breathing deeply, he sighed.

 

“There will be no heir.”

 

Rey sat perfectly still. “What?”

 

“There will be no children. I've seen to it.”

 

Rey could only stare. Ren got to his feet and began to pace.

 

“When you first asked for me to marry you, you said-”

 

“I know what I said.” Ren interrupted. “I said it because I had to say it. Not because I wanted to. It was a lie. It may be my duty but not one I will fulfil. I thought… I actually hoped it might scare you off. I didn't anticipate your hero complex. Or your lack of other options.”

 

Rey knew she looked stunned. Because she was. She was completely lost.

 

“I've implanted a chip in my arm. It's like a kind of implant. It stops conception from my side. I had it inserted eight years ago. After my…” He looked away.

 

“Why? Is it… is it because of me?” Rey asked. Was a child half prince, half scavenger just too much?

 

“No. This is a decision I made years ago. The Skywalker line will die with me.”

 

“Well, then why?”

 

Ren looked like he was trying not to lose his temper. “Why do you think? What can I offer any child begotten by me? Why would I want to pass on this… this disease of a life? Any sons we have will be condemned. And they will hate us. Hate us for giving them life, for making them endure this hell.”

 

Rey could only stare. “We could have daughters. Girls.”

 

“It's too much of a risk.”

 

“But we could!”

 

Ren's rage seemed to make way for sadness. “I still would not want that.” Ren looked right at her. “How can I be a father to a child that wouldn't ever be able to see my face? Who would only know a mask? A mask that has done so much that I can't reverse. Any chance of me looking a child of mine in the eyes evaporated when you set yours upon my face.”

 

Rey felt sick. It was all true.

 

“Do you understand now? If you marry me… you are trapped. If you stay, you gain an Empire. A galaxy. But you will never have a family.”

 

Rey understood all too well. If she stayed, her chance of children of her own disappeared. Because it was indeed a risk she had overlooked. She thought of a child with Ren's hair and her eyes. Small and unassuming. Knocking at the visor of Ren's mask and wondering if their black hair came from the man they had never seen. Looking frightened when they would have to be explained what their family history meant for them. Imagined a tall boy with her features and all of Ren's anger having to create his own mask and disappearing behind it forever. Would she then be banished from his life like Ren had done to his mother? Because she had committed the unforgivable crime of bring him into this situation in the first place?

 

The family she had lost would never be replaced.

 

“I understand. And I'm still staying.”

 

Ren looked like he was trying not to fall over. “How can you-”

 

“Because you can't miss what you never had in the first place.” Rey replied in a dull tone.

 

Ren stared at her like he expected her to burst out laughing at her joke any minute.

 

“So we are both to be miserable then?” He asked contemptuously.

 

“We won't be. I've explained that we could be happy together. That hasn't changed.”

 

“But-”

 

“Enough!” Rey held up her hand. “Please. Today has given me enough shocks. Just trust me for once. Just… let us be quiet for a while.”

 

Ren didn't look like he was done in the slightest. But you can only rage against the storm for so long before it blows you back anyway. So silence fell over them.

 

The rumpled bed down the hall now symbolised something different to Rey. A life of promise undiscovered. A life of rewards that neither of them could touch.

 

* * *

 

It is quiet between them for the next few days. More calm than when they have had to be in each other's company after arguments but with an underlying sadness that neither of them can shake.

 

Ren can only watch her. She tries. No-one can say that she doesn't. She smiles in all the right places. Talks to fill the pauses. Goes about her day.

 

She's trying to make the best of a twist in the tale.

 

It makes him hate himself more than he already does.

 

Ren wishes that they could go back to the ignorance of that night of the storm. Of feeling her curled in his arms. Of the realisation that she had fallen asleep with her head against his chest. Picking her up and carrying her to their bed provoked something in him. The lightness of her body in his arms. Her head nestled against his collarbone. The trust that she seemed to place in him even in sleep was staggering. He found that he couldn't let her go. He had lain her down on the bed and slotted himself behind her. It had only meant to be for five minutes. He hadn't meant to fall asleep.

 

He should know by now that she could lull him into a coma every time.

 

The embarrassment that had followed waking up with his usual morning problem had melted away under her insinuation that she felt it too. In that moment, he had realised with nothing short of amazement that she desired him. A girl who had never known any kind of affection. Who had never been kissed.

 

He had decided to pounce. He'd wanted that moment, that first in her life, for himself.

 

Hux's arrival was both a blessing and a curse.

 

At the time, he'd considered force pushing him down the stairs. Now he was relieved.

 

It had been a charged moment. And she would have regretted it. If he ever gave in, if he ever surrounded to her, he would be lost completely. He would not be able to go back. And he would never be able to let her go. It would kill him.

 

She had all the facts now. All the information. She would not last long.

 

Ren knew her desire for a family was all she had ever wanted. More than a name. More than an escape.

 

Ren didn't get to keep beautiful things. Because in the end they always ended up destroyed.

 

* * *

 

Rey found out quickly that Ren and herself would have very little say in their wedding. Hux had more or less taken care of the preparations. She could only watch as messages from delegates from planets she had never heard of began to flood in. Senators and politicians would be witnesses. It would take place in one of the great halls in the palace. She would probably be forced into a dress.

 

It would be a fairytale for the people and a nightmare for them.

 

Ren seemed like he wished to have no part in it. Like he would show up, say the words and do his duty.

 

She couldn't really take offence to his indifference. She was feeling the same.

 

She hated the way that Ren seemed to look at her. Like he was expecting the worst at any moment. Like she would run off and leave him standing at the alter.

 

She knew voicing her determination to stay would only cause an argument. So they seemed to have reached a stalemate.

 

Something that became a little more pleasant for the wedding proceedings was the news that it was traditional to give a gift to each other in the run-up. A chance to show understanding of who they were marrying.

 

Another not-so-welcome announcement was a week before the wedding there would be a ball in honour of them both. Rey thought back to the stuffiness of the council room welcome she had received. She doubted she could wear Padme Amidala's battle coat this time.

 

Ren heard the news of the impending ball with disdain. The news of gifts seemed to trouble him. Rey wondered if he was worried about what to get her. Rey wanted to assure him that the garden was more than enough for her but thought better of it. She was facing a similar dilemma herself. What do you get the man who had everything yet could maintain nothing?

 

First thing the following morning, Ren took Rey to the hanger.

 

There was a secret segment of the hanger that housed the skeletons of old ships that were too worn and damaged to be used by the First Order. Rey had never been inside of it as it required various codes that only top officials of the palace had.

 

Together, the cavernous space that was the graveyard of many a good pilot's wings stretched out before them. The segment may have been well hidden from view but once you were inside Rey could only marvel at it. It was nearly twice the size of the hanger and their voices echoed against the walls.

 

“Seeing as you have a fascination with rebuilding ships and flowers, this seemed like a good option.” Ren intoned. His voice sounded flat. Almost reluctant. Like he didn't want her to get excited. “Choose a ship. And you can have it.”

 

“A ship?” Rey breathed. “I get a ship?”

 

“These are more wrecks than ships.” Ren dismissed. “But you seem to have skills to get them off the ground. Or at least to stop the engines from exploding.”

 

“Thank y-” Rey turned to see he was already heading out the door.

 

Rey sighed. His inability to let her close was hurting her more than anything else. A part of her hated her weakness. He was only a man and technically not even a very good man. So why did she want that closeness they had got within touching distance of back?

 

Enough. She would deal with that later. First things first: a ship to choose.

 

Walking down into the depths, she eyed the ships in the shuttle. Many of them were haggard, scuffed and needed attention but were not beyond repair. She had seen much worse in Jakku. She had made a profit from even worse than that.

 

There were X-Wings, TIE fighters, Starfighters. All with potential. Not quite right though.

 

She walked further into the darker region of the storage facility. Her eyes scanned the ships with interest before spotting a ship right at the back. It was in an area that had nearly no light. Yet for some reason it called to her like a beacon of light.

 

Inching closer, she looked at it. It was mainly covered with an enormous sheet. That in itself was strange. None of the others were covered.

 

It was a Correlian YT-1300 freighter.

 

Walking around, she saw there was an entrance ramp leading into it.

 

The inside was even more dilapidated than the outside. The colour scheme was white that had turned to yellow.

 

Whispers of a past life launched through her mind.

 

Shouts. Laughter. Arguments. Losses. Triumphs.

 

 _Hang on, kid_. For some reason that phrase kept bouncing around her mind in a voice she didn't know. But she wished that she did know.

 

The cockpit had two seats. Standard practise for a ship of this size. Rey winced at the sights of the compressors that had been added. What it saved in time it lost in light speed. That would have to go.

 

She ran her finger through the dust on the dashboard.

 

“This one's garbage.” It would take hours of work to restore it. And who knows if she would ever get it off the ground. It looked like it wouldn't be an easy ride.

 

She sat in the pilot's seat. It felt like she belonged.

 

“The garbage will do.”

 

***

 

Rey returned to the living quarters nearly too late for lunch. She had started work straight away and, boy, did it need work. The compressor had been ripped out with her bare hands and she had to quickly fix a burst valve to stop it flooding with poisonous gas.

 

All exhausting. All great fun.

 

Ren was sat at the table. His food was untouched.

 

“You're late.” It seemed he had gone back to surly.

 

“Sorry. Ship needed my attention.” Rey looked down at her clothes which were covered in oil and dust. Between the garden leaving her filthy and this new ship, she wondered if she would ever have clean clothes again.

 

“I can see.” Rey picked up his fork and started playing with his food. “You pick one then?”

 

“Yes. Thank you. I love it.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. Yep, surly was certainly back.

 

“Which ship is it then? X-Wing?”

 

“No. You can get them anywhere. I think mine is an antique.” Rey helped herself to some meats. She was ravenous.

 

“Oh yes.” Ren's carried on eating.

 

“Needs work but could be a beauty. Probably was back in the day.”

 

“TIE fighter?”

 

“No, Correlian YT model.”

 

Ren paused in his brooding for a moment and stopped chewing. “Correlian YT?”

 

“Yep. Old battered thing.” Rey said in between mouthfuls.

 

“I didn't know we had those models.” Ren said slowly.

 

“I think it's the only one. I didn't seen any others. The signs all worn. Spells “Illen Ium Falco” or something.”

 

Ren dropped his fork. Rey looked up. His eyes were wide and he was staring out at nothing. Like he had seen something he never wanted to again.

 

“What?” Rey asked. “What is it?”

 

Ren closed his eyes.

 

“Of all the… why? Why that one?”

 

“I don't know. I just… felt...something.”

 

“Of course you did.” He muttered.

 

“Ren, what's wrong?” Rey was starting to get worried.

 

“It was Han Solo's. My…” He didn't finish.

 

Rey dropped her food. Illen Ium Falco… Millennium Falcon. God, how didn't she see it? She'd heard the stories but she had assumed it had been recycled or blown up by now.

 

“Force. I'm sorry. I didn't-”

 

“It doesn't matter. It's just a ship. A hunk of junk. Take it. Keep it. Blow it up. I don't care.”

 

The rest of the meal was silent and Ren retired to bed early. He didn't bid her goodnight.

 

Rey sat on the sofa. This was getting worse. She understood to a certain extent that maybe he was trying to help her. Trying to save her, in his own mind, from him. But she didn't want saving. She didn't need it.

 

She felt safe with him. She wanted to be here. Despite the pain. Despite the lack of family. She felt she couldn't abandon him and it wasn't out of duty but from her own need to keep him close. They could be each other's family if he just gave her a chance. If he just let her in.

 

Rey looked at the mask on the table. She hated it. She hated all it stood for. All it represented. His lack of freedom. His imprisonment. Even prisoners get to go outside and get some air. He wasn't even allowed that. She remembered the rain. Remembered dancing in it. The freedom. The euphoria. How long since he'd been able to get his hair wet from a thunderstorm?

 

Rey wiped her eyes roughly and thought. No point moping. Do something.

 

She looked out of the window on the garden. Kept looking. Thought. Thought again.

 

And then realised what she could give to him as her wedding gift.

 

* * *

 

Ren woke after a fairly miserable nights sleep. He felt ill-rested and almost aching. He had experienced no dreams so Rey must have come to bed at some point.

 

He opened his eyes. Rey was there but not in bed. She was sat on the chair facing the bed and fully dressed.

 

“Get dressed.” She instructed.

 

Ren sat up. She looked… excited. Anxious.

 

“What's going on?” He asked.

  
“Get. Dressed.” She repeated. “I'll give you some privacy but be quick. I want to catch the right moment.”

 

She was out of the chair and the room before he could ask anything else.

 

He dressed quickly and met her in the hall. She handed him his mask and he placed it on. Then they were out of the apartment and heading into the grounds.

 

It was so early that dawn hadn't fully broken. The sky was lightening but sun hadn't yet risen over the city. Theed was still asleep. Ren envied the city.

 

The gardens were quiet that he could hear both their feet make the grass crunch in the morning dew. Rey led him through the labyrinth and they reached the secret doorway to her garden.

 

She opened it and nodded him in.

 

If she had got him up to look at a new plant, he wasn't going to be impressed.

 

Ren stepped over the threshold and looked around. The difference was remarkable. No flowers were blooming (it was too early for that) but the weeds had gone, the brambles were cut away and the hedges trimmed nicely. Although lacking in colour, it certainly looked less like the subject of neglect and more like the potential for growth.

 

Ren noticed that the tree overhanging the garden was looking less morbid too.

 

Rey shut the door and locked it. She yanked the handle three times to make sure no one could get in. Ren watched as she ran around the garden and began scrutinizing the walls.

 

Finally coming to a halt, she turned to face him.

 

“Take off the mask.”

 

Ren furrowed his eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“Take it off.”

 

“Are you insane? Even if it's early, it's too-”

 

“This place is completely hidden. The walls are high enough for no-one to spot us. We can't even see the palace from here. We're safe. You're safe.”

 

Ren looked around. The walls… they were very high. The door was locked. He could…

 

With hands that were trembling, he undid the latches.

 

Taking his helmet off, the first thing he noticed were the smells. The grass smelt potent. Strong and freshly cut. The soil smelt rich. The colours were brighter. Ren looked up at the tree above him. The rustling leaves looked greener. The sound was richer as they shock and danced in the wind. Wind… he could feel the wind on his face.

 

He closed his eyes. The _wind_ was on his face. The wind hadn't been on his face for nine years.

 

So this is what freedom felt like.

 

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, eye closed, with his senses restored. He didn't care.

 

Eventually he opened his eyes. Pink assaulted his irises. The sun was rising. The sky was alive with colour.

 

He looked at Rey standing next to him. Her eyes were glassy.

 

“My wedding gift. To you.” She explained.

 

Ren could only stare at her. At this girl who could have run, who did on occasion, but wouldn't leave him.

 

She wouldn't leave him.

 

“Thank you.” It was a whisper but she heard him.

 

He wasn't sure later on if it was only him that moved. If he had bent down and caught her lips. Or if she had met him half way. It didn't matter; the result was the same. He experienced another sensation he hadn't felt in years: the kiss of a woman.

 

The leaves rustled above them but this time Ren didn't even notice.

 

He had surrendered. Yet he was the victor in his life for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are worth 60 portions!


	20. Small steps out of the Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. 
> 
> I sound like a broken record so first of all, thank you again so so much. Your support and kudos do so much for my virtually non-existent confidence. You are all so precious to me.
> 
> Secondly, again broken record here, apologises for the lateness of the update. I work a job dictating by overtime and whenever it comes up, I do as much as I can so my money looks less tragic.
> 
> Anyway I wrote this to "Darkside" by Kelly Clarkson and "Wicked Game" by Raign. Enjoy!

Rey tried a number of different things to keep her occupied alone in the rooms of her apartments. She tried to practise her reading, she attempted to practise her techniques of mind control and moving objects and decided to make herself a nice soothing cup of tea.

 

Every attempt made. Every one a dismal failure.

 

The words danced around the page when she opened a holobook, there were only so many apples you can make dance in circles around in the air and the tea would sit on the table untouched until it went stone cold. Then she would pour it away and make another. And so on the pattern continued.

 

Rey knew she had done the right thing by leaving him alone in the garden. He had got his first taste of freedom in the open air after so long. To pull him away after five minutes would be almost as heinous as the curse itself. He needed time to process this new feeling, to savour it, to bask in it. And he needed to do that alone.

 

That's what forced Rey to leave him with the key and his thoughts.

 

She hadn't wanted to go though.

 

For the twentieth time on a rough count, she raised her fingertips to her lips. In a strange and implausible way, she could almost still feel his imprint on them. She had darted her tongue out to see if she could still taste him but had come up empty.

 

The memory and the phantom lingering remains of his lips would have to keep her company until he returned.

 

He'd kissed her.

 

And she had kissed him back. And it had been amazing.

 

In retrospect, Rey could garner that to anyone else their kiss had been relatively tame. She had simply pressed her lips to Ren's and savoured the sweetness of his taste. His lips which she had found captivating since she had seen his face for the first time were so soft. She could have happily stayed like that, never speaking, never moving, just with her lips attached to his, for the rest of her days.

 

Until Ren opened his lips against hers a little and she'd dutifully followed his lead.

 

Rey never would have believed it but kissing with open mouths wasn't disgusting or off-putting at all. It was addictive and made her tingle all over.

 

She wanted to do it again. She wanted to kiss him until her lips were raw.

 

And she knew that he wanted to do that too.

 

Eventually the door to the chambers opened and Rey nearly dropped her ice-cold cup of tea in the sink where she'd been standing absently.

 

His footsteps seemed soft yet slow. Tired. Drained.

 

His mask was in his hand as he came into the living area. He dropped it to the floor and left it there without a backward glance.

 

His face showed a look of being emptied of all emotion. His eyes even looked slightly pink like he may have been crying. Yet he didn't look sad. Or weighted down. Quite the contrary.

 

He looked unburdened.

 

“Are you okay?” Rey asked quietly. Speaking too loud might shatter the calm.

 

He looked at her. _Her_. And nodded.

 

“It was...” He looked like he was looking for the word, “… everything.”

 

Rey smiled. “You were in there a long time. What did you do?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Rey looked down embarrassed. “Sorry, that's none of my business.”

 

“No really.” He infused. “Nothing. I walked around the garden, I sat under the tree and looked at the sky. That's it. I did nothing. I didn't need to.”

 

Rey stared and then nodded. That made sense. He'd been a man of action for years. The perfect antidote to that was to stay perfectly still.

 

Ren sank down in the armchair and leant his head back. His eyes shut. Rey put the cup in the sink and walked to his side. Without a word, she gently touched his hair. She had wanted to thread her fingers through his hair for such a long time. It was like spun silk.

 

She looked down at his face. His eyes were on her.

 

“Do you want to talk about… what else happened?” She whispered.

 

A pause rang between them.

 

“Is there any need? We both know what happened.” His tone wasn't cruel. It was oddly calm.

 

“I suppose I mean… what is going to happen _now_.” Her fingers were still moving through his hair. It was actually to calm her more than to calm him.

 

Rey had to dislodge her fingers from the inky black locks when he rose up to stand before her. She never felt intimidated by his height any more. It actually made her feel safer.

 

“What do you want to happen?” His voice was low and almost vibrated through her.

 

“I want it to happen again.” Now wasn't the time to be coy.

 

“I see.” The same low timbre to his voice. The same vibration went through her.

 

“I think you want it to happen again too. I think you want this. Want me. And you may be determined to flog yourself for things you can't change but that has clearly made you even more miserable. I just want…” Rey looked up at him. He was silent but his eyes were dark. “...you.”

 

Ren sighed through his nose and touched his gloved fingers under her chin. The kiss he placed upon her lips was incredibly chaste and seemed almost unintentional. It felt a bit like a butterfly grazing their wings against her lips.

 

“Okay.” He grazed his finger under her chin in a stroking motion.

 

“Really?” Her amazement was evident.

 

“Mmmhmm. The moment I gave into you would be the end of all resistance for me. I always knew it. But I have conditions.”

 

Rey tried not to groan. “Go on.”

 

“We need to increase your teachings in the Force. I have been remiss lately due to you… distracting me. I need to be a teacher to you as well as a husband and companion. For your own sake as well as my ambitions. To waste your power would be unforgivable.”

 

“And then we can be like this?” The closeness of the two of them was evidently Rey's point.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay. But you haven't been remiss. You've taught me so much.” Rey soothed. She didn't mention that it was nearly all unintentional and most had little to do with the Force. The telekinesis, strengthening sense of the Force and meditation had admittedly taken a back seat in light of their other changing circumstances.

 

“It's not enough.” Ren's lips quirked. “You need a teacher.”

 

Rey nodded. “I need a teacher.” She pressed a hand into his. “But so do you.”

 

***

 

It was a slow process. As hesitant and nervous as when Rey had first insisted that they become at least companions to one another with no masks involved. But Rey was nothing if not patient.

 

The following days after the garden and their introduction to the art of kissing were busy. Ren made good on his promise to up her teaching and spent hours with her to try and perfect her skills. He kept mainly to meditation and the discipline of the mind. He didn't get angry at Rey's calm state any longer. It was different to his own potent form of disciplined anger but she felt the power of the medi-clorian count running through her blood. It was like she could feel the planet breath around her.

 

He read numerous history books to her and tested her improving literacy skills. He raised his eyebrows at her vastly improved skills but said nothing. Rey had the feeling that he had come to expect her to surpass his own expectations now.

 

Ren talked about teaching her to start moving things around the room in a short time. Rey tried to hide a smile and wondered if even he could have anticipated just how much her progress had come along in a department he had not even began to teach her yet.

 

The teacher/student relationship was back in full force. But with changes to help Rey achieve her own teachings.

 

Ren may have admitted at last that he felt a lot more for Rey than he had ever anticipated but that didn't mean nearly ten years of isolation and self-denial could be thrown aside. It had to be slow and methodical.

 

A touch here, a kiss there. Getting him comfortable with casual affection was important to Rey. They had only ever really come together when the situation demanded it like nightmares and illness. To accept it and weave into their daily routine felt a lot more beneficial than just waiting for the next emotionally charged moment when she could happily throw herself into his arms.

 

Daylight was the hardest time to do it but Rey was persistent. She would sit close to him as he read to her and take his hand in hers. He often paused and stiffened like he didn't know what exactly to do with it but the gentle running of her thumb over his hand eased them in. On occasion, she found he would grip back tightly for no other reason except that he simply could.

 

Night was their time and always would be.

 

They still continued to get undressed for bed separately but didn't carry on the charade of pretending to sleep in separate bedrooms. They kept the light on as well and Rey began to ask Ren to read the stories she had been practising her reading with to her. It was an excuse to keep the light on longer and she had always loved his voice when he read to her.

 

Ren would finally grow a little bolder when they turned the light off. It was the one occasion that Rey would let him come to her. Would always let him initiate a kiss and let him take the lead. It was always gentle yet passionate and she loved his lips and what they could do. He would run his hands over her body but never went under her clothing. He didn't need to as the thrill of his large hands caressing her lithe body made the tingling sensation she had experienced from her visions of him in the shower come back with a vengeance. Her little gasps of surprise and excitement always seemed to spur him to kiss her harder.

 

It seemed that her enjoyment was not the only factor that spurred him on as Rey had felt a starry-eyed delight his own excitement grinding against her thigh. If she wasn't so worried about scaring him off with too much, too soon, she would have slipped a hand down and felt it for herself. Instead, she kept her small hands to running along the breadth of his shoulders which were impressive in themselves.

 

They often woke up in the morning curled around each other and Rey would wait until Ren woke before attempting to move.

 

She would take what she could get. If there was one thing life had taught her, it was patience and perseverance.

 

* * *

 

“ _'The saber came down with a crack and an almighty glow. Mara could only look on as the blade sliced through her mentor and screamed.'”_ Ren closed the holobook.

 

“Wait! What are you doing? I want to know what happens!” Rey complained, trying to grab the book. Ren held it out of her reach effortlessly.

 

“You said one more chapter. The chapter is over. Time to sleep.”

 

“But what about Mara? What is she going to do?”

 

“You can find out tomorrow. I'm tired.” Ren declared.

 

Rey pouted. He would have laughed if it didn't highlight her lips so much.

 

Ren wasn't not tired. Not at all.

 

The last few days had been a mixture of bliss and anxiety. Rey had done nothing to push him beyond his means.

 

He loved every moment she allowed him close. He lovd being able to hold her in the dark. Being able to touch her. To kiss her.

 

He loved kissing her. He hadn't been able to have the use of his mouth with any of his previous conquests and to kiss her was better than anything he had ever done with them combined. He'd never cared for any of them like he did her. They would often lie together, tasting the inside of each other's mouths and their skin until they were exhausted and their lips swollen to a dark red.

 

The darkness of the night made him calmer and less conscious. Morning always brought doubt. Doubt as to why the hell she would want to give herself to someone like him. What was he? What could he give her?

 

Monsters don't get the girl. They don't get a happy ending. They don't get a garden and a sunset and the wind on their face.

 

They were slain. The girl got rescued and married the hero. He wasn't a hero.

 

Rey either refused to adhere to this theory or knew and steam rolled ahead anyway. It made him want to be the hero even more.

 

So when the light went off, he didn't wait like he usually did for her to settle. He raised himself up and stole a kiss. Her little mewl of surprise indicated that she hadn't been prepared but her responding sigh into his mouth and her fingers in his hair showcased that she definitely wasn't too upset by it.

 

He belonged in darkness.

 

She belonged in the light.

 

But it couldn't hurt to stray from one to the other now and again.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey skipped downstairs to breakfast the next morning and tried to contain her smile in fear of looking slightly mad. The kitchen was bustling as per usual with chatter and movement. A few members nodded in recognition to Rey as she took her usual place at the table.

 

“You seem happy today.” Finn commented over his breakfast.

 

“I had a pleasant evening.”

 

“Good sleep?” Finn asked.

 

 _Not at all._ “Yes, very well.” Rey smiled and tried not to turn it into a smirk.

 

Maz toddled up to the table with a box nearly as big as her.

 

“This came for you today.” She heaved it onto the table with a grunt. Rey opened it and found something that could be the recipient of her smile: her flowers had come.

 

Sorting through the seeds, bulbs and various roots that had been shipped from over the galaxy, she imagined her garden blooming in colours of every kind and beamed.

 

She imagined taking Ren in there to smell the petals and tried not to get emotional.

 

 _In time_ , she promised, _in time_.

 

Finn looked through the box with approval.

 

“Is that garden even big enough to house all of this?”

 

“I'll give it a good go.” She inspected one of the bulbs like a child with a new toy. “I'm going to plant vegetables. I might even try and cook them.”

 

“You can cook?”

 

“A little.” Rey shrugged. “We had to make what we could on Jakku. Mind you, it was all mainly powder. I'll have to fit it in around working on the garden and the Falcon.”

 

Finn made a sound a bit like a dry heave. Rey realised a moment too late that his choking was from her mentioning her new ship. She hadn't told him, Poe or Jess about Ren's wedding gift.

 

“The Falcon? As in _The_ Falcon?!” Finn demanded between coughs.

 

“Ummm. Yeah. It's mine now. A gift.”

 

“Wow. I mean, there were rumours that it was still here somewhere but no-one actually thought… wow.”

 

“I didn't know. I didn't realise. But Ren said I could keep it.”

 

“Has he seen it?” Finn asked.

 

“No. I doubt he will ever go near it. He seemed quite keen for me to commit to a bonfire.”

 

“He must really care about you.” It was said in a sort of dazed tone. Like Finn couldn't quite believe it but had no choice but to do just that.

 

“He does. In his own way.” Rey fiddled with the bulb in her hand. “And I care about him.”

 

“Are you...” His voice was a whisper. “Rey, do you lov-”

 

“I don't even know what that is!” Rey snapped. “How would I know?”

 

“Sorry. Sorry.” Finn backed up quickly. Rey breathed deeply.

 

“No, I'm sorry. It's a fair question. But I don't know Finn. All I know is the idea of being his Queen doesn't scare me. It even makes me almost hopeful. That things could get better for everyone if I just-”

 

“Rey.” It was Finn's turn to sound stern. “I don't doubt that he cares for you. He's shown it, in his own way, but don't get ahead of yourself. He's still… he's still Kylo Ren. And Kylo Ren isn't someone who takes kindly to people trying to change things he doesn't want changed.”

 

“I know that. I do. But he wasn't always Kylo Ren.”

 

“And I wasn't always Finn. Doesn't mean going from FN-2187 to Finn was easy.”

 

Rey had no argument to that. So she said nothing at all.

 

 

***

 

Rey called BB8 to her side after breakfast and instructed the little droid to follow her to her garden. She was filled with new purpose.

 

Once the garden door was locked, Rey knelt down in front of the droid and asked her to record a message for her. The orange and white droid cocked her small head in interest but did as she was bid.

 

Rey wondered belatedly if she should have styled her hair in something other than her usual three buns or changed into a better tunic but then shrugged. If she was going to speak out, then the recipient may as well know exactly what her daughter-in-law was really going to be like.

 

“Hello… Leia?” Should she called her General or Princess? Oh well, too late now. “I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply to your message. It was really kind of you to send it to me. And it meant a lot. I'm Rey. But you know that. Poe is okay encase you are wondering. Jess is too. And I'm fine. I am. I'm… I'm happy with him. And I'm trying to make him happy too.” This was hard. So hard. “There's good in him. I've seen it. I won't reject it. Leia, I've seen him. All of him. I'm the third. He's… he's so stubborn. So proud. I'll do what I can for you. For him. For your family. For my family. Then maybe one day I won't have to do this in secret. Thank you.”

 

And she bid BB8 to turn the recording off.

 

Breathing like she had just run for her life, Rey sat on the grass. There was light in him. She knew it.

 

 

***

 

Ren sent a message for her to meet at the other end of the palace in one of the many training rooms where he had spent time that night they had argued about Poe. Walking in, she was surprised to see the sparseness of the place. It was hollow and echoed with her footsteps loud on the cold floor.

 

Ren was waiting for her calmly.

 

“You sent for me?” She asked.

 

“Yes. I felt it was about time I trained you in the ways of proper combat.”

 

“Really?” Rey would have been embarrassed by the sound of her eagerness in any other situation. But it had been so long since she had fought anything and a part of her missed it.

 

“It seemed appropriate. I don't want you getting rusty.” There were numerous training weapon and many blunt swords that were like dummy versions of the sabers that the Jedi wielded. Rey tried not to role her eyes at the sight of Ren's. Of course, it had a cross-guard. “You will have to practise with a standard sword before I can commission a double ended sword for you to practise with. Still, it will be good to tweak your skills with a standard.”

 

“I might be good at this one too.” Rey shrugged.

 

“Possible. But not a certainty.”

 

Rey went to bite back a retort but stopped when she noticed he was taking off his outer coat. His arm guards were also disposed of, leaving him in a black tank top and his gloves on with the rest of his outfit in place.

 

Somehow the muscles of his arms stood out all the proud because of it and his shoulders looked broad enough to knock a man down without trying.

 

Feeling inspired, Rey felt bolder.

 

“Okay. But I want something for myself.”

 

“What would that be?” He asked, not looking up from his sword.

 

“When we get back to our apartments tonight… you have to do as I say.”

 

Ren looked at her.

 

“Do I ever deny you anything?” He asked shrewdly.

 

“No. But I want your word.”

 

“I don't know what I'm agreeing to.” He pointed out.

 

“True. But I'm asking you to trust me. It's nothing bad. You'll like it. Hopefully.”

 

Ren looked at Rey with his dark eyes almost black. There was a reluctance. But an intrigue too.

 

“Very well. But you must listen to every instruction I give you. No arguments. In here, I am the teacher and you are the student.”

 

“Deal.” Rey picked up a sword. “Shall we?”

 

* * *

 

Ren found, without much surprise, that Rey was more than adapt at using a basic sword than a standard novice. Granted, her style was quite wild and frenzied rather than tactical and structured. Her style was very much “Win and win quickly”. She had enough energy and stamina to give him a good fight and he found himself having to duck out of the way of a wild swing more than once.

 

They proceeded to slash and swipe at each other for well over an hour and she didn't complain or moan when he pointed out a mistake or a weakness in her defence. She was very much a woman of her word.

 

Which meant that he now had to be a man of his.

 

He would never admit it, not even under torture, but he was nervous. He trusted her not to do anything horrible or unhanded. She wasn't capable of that. But the not knowing made him jittery and a bit more aggressive in his fighting style as a result.

 

They finally retreated back to their quarters after Ren had redressed and placed his mask back on (not pleasant when he was plastered in sweat) and allowed Rey to use the fresher first. It gave him time to regroup.

 

When she was finished, he stepped into the fresher and had a good wash. He considered taking himself in his hand and relieving some of the tension he had felt when battling against Rey. As unconventional as it was, seeing her gaining the upper hand on him was quite arousing. He resisted however.

 

He dried himself off and redressed in a fresh tank top and trousers. His hair was damp and had been rubbed vigorously with a towel. He went into his bedroom to retrieve the rest of his garb when he was perplexed to see Rey sitting on the bed. She was clearly waiting for him.

 

She looked a little flushed too.

 

“Remember your promise.” She reminded him. He nodded. “Take off your shirt.”

 

Ren trusted his hearing ability. It had never failed him. But he began to question it now.

 

“Take off your shirt.” Rey repeated. “Please.”

 

Slowly he reached down and peeled it off. Rey sighed out a breath as though in relief. Her eyes were on him and they were taking in as much as she could.

 

Ren held up his hand to turn off the light.

 

“No! Keep the light on. I want to see you.” Rey pleaded.

 

“Why?” He demanded.

 

“Because… you're beautiful.”

 

Ren had been called many things in his life. Not many of them complimentary. And of the few words of praise he'd ever had 'beautiful' was not one of them.

 

“Come here.” Rey whispered.

 

Ren approached like she might bite him at any moment. Instead, she raised her hand and placed it to his chest.

 

Another first. A bare hand on his bare chest. Her little hands had caressed him through his sleepwear in the past but they had never dove beneath. More than likely she was following his lead. He had never assumed for a moment that he was allowed to touch her naked skin. He wished he could claw back the gasp that escaped at the feeling.

 

Rey traced patterns along his chest with her fingers. She seemed to be mapping the entire landscape of skin and committing it to memory. Her hands travelled over his shoulders, down his pectorals and down his abdominals. Her tanned hand stood out proudly against the ivory whiteness of his own skin.

 

Without a word, Rey leant forward and pressed a kiss against his collarbone.

 

Force, he loved the feel of her lips on his body.

 

Breaking his control and silencing the doubts, Ren caught hold of her face and captured her lips for himself. She was trembling.

 

“Do you want to see me too?” She sounded breathless.

 

“See you?” His brain hadn't caught up to the reality of the situation just yet.

 

“You know… you showed me yours...”

 

Ren still wasn't quite up to speed when Rey caught hold of her tunic and pulled it over her head. Clad in only her breast-band and sleeping pants, he was quickly bought up to speed.

 

He caught hold of wrists before she could move any further.

 

“You don't… you don't have to.” He reasoned.

 

The look of hurt was brief in her eyes but he saw it. “Don't you want me to-”

 

He cut her off by reattaching his lips to hers and pouring all his repressed lust, desperation and yearning into it. She moaned and crawled onto his lap, straddling him for the first time. Her gasp that broke their desperate kiss indicated she could feel exactly how much he wanted to.

 

“You don't owe me anything.” He gritted out. He may not be perfect but he didn't want her if she wasn't willing.

 

“Neither do you.” She reassured, her hands still buried in his hair.

 

“I owe you everything.” He murmured against her neck. He had always known that if this passion was released by her that it would flow through him and drown him. She had thrown open the floodgates.

 

“Just this.” She whispered. “Just our tops. Nothing else. Lets just feel each other. See each other. I want to see you.”

 

Ren gulped down air. Her skin was against his, her stomach exposed and rubbing up against his and, damn it all. He wasn't strong enough to deny her.

 

Rey crawled off his lap and turned her back to him. “Help me.” She instructed, indicating her bands.

 

The temptation to rip it to shreds was there but Ren managed to undo the knot at the back that bound her breasts to her body. The material was long as it unwound around her and the last scrap of it was held in place by Rey to preserve her modesty for another minute. Ren didn't move. If she had changed her mind then he wouldn't say a word against it, he vowed.

 

Instead she took a breath and lowered her hands. Her back was still to him so he couldn't see her chest. The curve and toned skin of her back was arousing enough. Slowly, she took his hand and bought it to her chest. She motioned to his other hand which he slid into hers.

 

Silently with her back still to him, she placed his hands over her breasts.

 

They fitted into the palms of his hands perfectly, her pebbled nipples biting into his palm and making him thank whoever was listening in the galaxy for this. He pulled her backwards so her back was flush against his chest where they both knelt on the bed. They both groaned at the feeling.

 

Looking down, he traced his fingers over her breasts and saw them for the first time. They were small like the rest of her but perfect for her frame. Perfect for her. His thumb brushed over the raspberry pink nipples in his hand and relished her surprised moan.

 

Deciding that he wanted to test his mouth on this brave new world, he turned her gently to face him and claimed her mouth while lying her down against the bed.

 

He loved the noises that Rey made. Caressing her skin with his lips, he flicked his tongue over her nipples and sucked them into his mouth.

 

“Urgggggh.” She gasped. “Oh my… Ren.”

 

Ren responded by tracing his tongue on the underside of her breasts which proved to nearly double Rey over.

 

He could have happily done this all night but noticed Rey was squirming.

 

“Are you okay.” He looked up at her.

 

“I feel… sticky.” She rubbed her thighs together. “Itchy.”

 

Oh. Ohhh.

 

“I can help with that.”

 

Rey looked down at him, her cheeks pink, her pupils blown.

 

“Do you trust me?” He echoed to her.

 

She could only nod.

 

“I won't take anything else off. If it's too much, tell me.” And with a slightly trembling hand, he slid down her stomach and slipped into her sleeping bottoms.

 

The wetness he found down there meant he echoed her desperate and startled gasp. He hadn't felt the pleasure and arousal of a woman for so long. He had always had to keep his gloves on. To feel the moistness of her innocent sex made him want to rip down their bottoms and pound into her until there wasn't a drop left in him.

 

Instead, he traced her lower lips back and forth.

 

Rey was sighing and gasping startled breaths, her eyes tightly closed. She didn't seem to be on the verge of telling him it was too much.

 

“Haven't you ever done this to yourself?” He asked lowly.

 

She shook her head. “Didn't know… what to do. Never any time. Never a need.”

 

Ren sped up his hand and bought his fingers to the front of her sex. The first touch of his fingers against her clit had her moaning and her eyes shooting open.

 

Deciding it was clearly the way to go, he honed in on that. He was tempted to delve his finger inside her but decided that would be too much for a girl that was more innocent than she would ever admit.

 

Rubbing gently and kissing her neck to even out the sensations, Rey's nails were biting into his shoulders. She was trembling.

 

“Its okay. It's normal. Relax and let it happen.” He reassured.

 

The feel and sound of the lovely girl beneath him cresting and falling under the wave of ecstasy did more for Ren than all the riches and power in the galaxy. The subsequent trembling and wetness that met his fingers, still buried in her sleeping bottoms, was what he had dreamed of so many times yet didn't even touch the surface of reality.

 

He collapsed at her side, making sure to level his hips away from her. No doubt she would want to reciprocate and help him find release. Watching her try and come to terms with what she had just felt, he decided now wasn't the night. There was also the very real danger that she would only have to brush her fingers against his naked appendage and he would go off like a flare. He didn't want tonight to end on an embarrassing note.

 

They slept with the light on that night. Ren knew they would never do anything intimate with the lights off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that's okay. I was wondering writing this how Ren would deal with affection after being starved of it for so long. I felt that him being dubious and nervous of it and the fear of losing it would be an accurate portrayal. Let's be honest, his issues and depth is why we love him. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are love. And cookies. And the Force. Basically everything that is good.


	21. Heathens of Past Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. 
> 
> You guys are my sun and stars. I love how patient you are and trust me I need it at times. Work is still exhausting but I'm trying to write whenever I have a free moment. Thank you all so much for your support. 
> 
> I wrote this to Nick Cave 'O Children' to emphasise Kylo's memories and Alexandre Desplat's 'Dreamcatcher' for Rey's feelings. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey woke slowly to the room bathed in light. There was never a window open to let in natural daylight. It was too dangerous to Ren. So Rey had never woken with the rising sun on her face.

 

Yet as her eyes fluttered open, the artificial light was almost warm. It bathed her and the sleeping form of Ren in a gentle light. It highlighted Ren's dark hair and lashes, his pale skin and the freckles and moles that doted his skin. Like a constellation. A design that no space ship could travel to and yet Rey had at her very fingertips.

 

Rey gathered the soft blanket to her chest to cover her naked breasts. Now that the passion had passed, she felt shyness return to her. Not that there was anyone to see this movement or her bare chest as Ren was still sleeping deeply. His breaths were deep and measured. His brow was furrowed a little but considering that his default expression was either worry or anger, this new look made him look practically relaxed.

 

She felt her cheeks flush at the remembrance of the previous night. Of the kisses. Of the touches. Of the sensations and the wonderful all-consuming ecstasy that she had felt under Ren's skilled fingers. Rey had to nibble his lips to stop herself smirking. She was starting to understand with great clarity that sex was not simply an inconvenience and a risk.

 

Rey decided that it was about time she reciprocated.

 

Sliding closer to him, she started to pepper kisses across his shoulders and collarbone. Running her hands over his chest, she decided that she would never tire of this activity.

 

He began to stir beneath her hands and lips.

 

“Rey...” His voice was sleep laced but clearly affected.

 

She didn't bother trying to start a conversation. It would mean she would have to talk and her mouth was otherwise occupied.

 

She pushed him onto his back and slipped her leg so she was sat astride him. His arousal was evident and rubbing deliciously against her own clothed groin.

 

Slowly, she slipped her hand into his pants and gripped him for the first time.

 

They both let out a gasp. Kylo from the feeling of being touched at long last (she assumed) and Rey from being able to touch. It was harder than she had thought it would be yet softer at the same time. Silky and pulsing and all for her. It was flushed red and the head of his cocks was shiny with pre-cum. It made the wetness in her own core heighten.

 

“Tell me what to do.” She whispered into his hair.

 

Kylo clearly decided that the time for being a gentleman had passed and took her hand in his. Moving her hand over him, he showed her exactly what to do.

 

She was a quick learner. Soon he let go of her hand and lay back, letting her carry on without any help.

 

Rey wanted him to feel what she had felt last night. She wanted him to feel like he was dying and never more alive all at the same time. But more than anything she wanted to see him surrender control to her for the first time. She wanted that power over him and she wanted him to trust her to have that power.

 

His pale face was flushed with his dark hair sticking to his forehead slightly. His breaths were ragged and he looked like he was grinding his teeth. Like he was trying to maintain control.

 

Enough of that.

 

“Let go.” Rey sped up her hand. “Trust me Ren. Let go.”

 

The dam burst and Ren let out a noise that was half growl, half shout. His member pulsed and he came over her hand and his stomach. To see the evidence of his orgasm sticky and white over their skin did a great deal for Rey.

 

The predatory and possessive side of her that had never really had much room to come out to play sat up on its hind legs and howled.

 

_Mine. My teacher. My lover. My friend. Mine._

 

* * *

 

Ren reported to the council chambers to find Hux already in the throes of work. There was a conference table set up with so many reports, papers and general correspondence from parts of the galaxy Ren had never before witnessed that he actually couldn't see the wood of the table. And considering there was about four feet of it, that was quite impressive.

 

“Ah. Good, you're here.” Hux intoned in a voice that sounded almost bored.

 

“What is it?” Ren demanded. His tone was harsher through the voice modulator. Hux didn't even raise his eyebrows.

 

“Preparations. I need to inform you of the plans in the build-up to the wedding.”

 

Ren rolled his eyes. “I've handed control over to you. Just do what you want.”

 

“Very noble, Ren, but it does require some participation on your side as well.”

 

“I'll turn up on the day. Surely that's all the participation you require?” Ren snapped.

 

“More or less for the wedding day, yes. And also if you could refrain from throwing a tantrum for some reason and destroying the centrepieces that would be much appreciated too.”

 

The temptation to show Hux exactly how good a tantrum he could throw was tangible. But the sooner this was done, the sooner he could go back to his rooms. And then he could find ways to pass the time. Until Rey came back tonight.

 

“What. Is. It?” He gritted out.

 

“You and your little fiancée are required to go out into Naboo to show your faces before the ceremony. None of the people have seen her as she keeps to the palace at all times. Handy for me, no doubt, as I can rest in the knowledge she's not likely to run off… again,” Hux shot a sideways look at Ren, clearly remembering her mad dash into the forest the night everything changed, “but now they want to see her. They want to see their future Queen.”

 

Ren wasn't surprised per-say or even shocked at the request. It made sense. His masked figure may be known across the galaxy but the young girl who not two months ago was simply a scavenger on a barren planet was as unfamiliar as water on Tattooine. That didn't mean he had to like it.

 

“See her how exactly?” Ren demanded.

 

“There will be a procession on the stairs of the palace. The people of Naboo will be in attendance as will the First Order and yourself. She will be amongst those that she is familiar with but the main exercise will be for the people to see her.”

 

“So she's to be led out like a trophy for people to gawk at?” Ren knew it was petulant but he'd had enough experience of people's unwavering curiosity on things that they had not seen before. His own masked appearance being one of them… until they learnt to avert their eyes.

 

“If you like. She's hardly going into a hostile crowd though. Quite the contrary. Apparently there is already a reverence and a loyalty to the Kenobi girl.” Hux said this in a way that replicated both amusement and a hint of distaste.

 

“Her grandfather was popular. No doubt she will earn their love.” Ren didn't doubt that.

 

“Their love I'm not interested in. Their respect and loyalty is all we need.” Hux reminded Ren.

 

Ren always found Hux had an uncanny ability to shine a cold clinical light on all aspects of his life. There was no time for a romanticized version with the General. A part of him may want to wring his neck but the leader in him couldn't help but admire how clinical he was. He had aspired to be like that for many years. Now he was coming to accept that he was too passionate, too impetuous to ever be remotely like Hux. And now he was even starting to feel a little grateful.

 

He used to want to be cold. To be numb. To feel absolutely nothing instead of too much. But now he was starting to understand something other than rage for the first time in so so long. He was tasting lust. Tasting contentment. Tasting companionship. Normality. Happiness. And something else. That something else was scaring Ren more and more yet it consumed him.

 

And he wasn't sure he wanted to reject it. Because it would mean rejecting Rey. And he couldn't do that. Not any more.

 

* * *

 

Rey pushed open the door to her garden.

 

“It's not exactly flourishing yet. There hasn't been time for the flowers to grow and bloom.” Rey warned as she began to push the door open a little further so it was viewable for the guests she was allowing into her private and pretty domain.

 

Finn looked around with wide eyes at this new world. Jess let out an 'Ohhhhhh' which Rey took to be appreciative. Poe had an indulgent smile.

 

“Very nice. Very nice indeed.” Rey was sure that Poe wouldn't know a rose from a Rathtar. It's didn't matter. That wasn't the objective of this.

 

Finn walked deeper in the garden and looked up at the tree. Poe followed and stood beside him.

 

Jess and Rey looked at each other, nodded and slowly backed out of the garden. Closing the door, Rey quickly locked it.

 

Finn and Poe clearly noticed the turn of events and the sounds of confusion rose.

 

“Rey! Jess!” Finn called. Rey would have felt badly about the obvious confusion in Finn's voice but this was for their own good.

 

“And you're not coming out until you talk this out!” Rey shouted back.

 

“Talk what out?!” Bless Finn, he was really oblivious.

  
“You know damn well what!” Jess shouted back. “I'm sick of you two making love eyes at each other. It was cute at first but now it's just boring!”

 

A pause.

 

“I don't understand-”

 

“Shut it, Poe!” Rey shouted back. “You do and you're sorting it. Tonight. Now get talking. We're off for a cup of tea.”

 

And with that, Rey and Jess ran off, ignoring their two friends shouts for them to let the two out.

 

They got to the entrance of the hanger before they slowed down. Rey looked back at the path they had run.

 

“You think they'll be okay?”

 

“Of course. It's only until they talk. Shouldn't take them too long. Until nightfall at the most.” Jess smirked.

 

“What if they're angry with me?” Rey worried her lip. “I don't want to lose them as friends.”

 

“Oh please! I'm betting in a year you'll be flower-girl at their wedding. Come on. Show me this new ship of yours.”

 

* * *

 

Ren arrived back at his apartments quite late in the afternoon. The day had been full of meetings, solitary fight training and overseeing changes to the challenges that all Stormtroopers must complete and pass. He couldn't deny there was something still gratifying about seeing all the men salute to him and show him complete devotion to any command made. It made him feel like a little bit more of a leader. Like it wasn't all show.

 

He took off his helmet and went into the bathroom to wash his face. Opening the cupboard to find some shaving utensils (he may as well curb his growing stubble while he was here), something caught his eye.

 

Lined up neatly, his various tonics and potions for numbing pain. He'd used them whenever he had been known to take a woman to bed.

 

Picking one up, he examined it. There weren't cheap and had been shipped across the galaxy for his own personal use.

 

The usual routine would be to consume one immediately before the act of sex. Then he would proceed, still full dressed and with the mask on, to try and make it as pleasant as was possible. He only ever released his member just before the moment of penetration to decrease the amount of time it was visible. Not because he was ashamed. Quite the contrary, he knew himself to be quite blessed in that area. No, it was to reduce the pain. The tonics could only do so much and would only delay the reaction of his body. The pain wasn't like the fire beneath the skin that he never wanted to experience again but it left him feeling like his entire body had been pummelled in a fist fight that he had come out of the worst off. It wasn't pleasant but it was the best he could get at the time.

 

Ren sat down on the edge of the bath and sighed. The memory of the women who had come to his bed made him cringe now. It had always been fully clothed with his gloves stopping him even feeling their skin. He would reciprocate as much as he could as he wanted it to be as enjoyable as it could be. He would give pleasure with his fingers and then take them. They could do very little for him.

 

Ren had always had a code of conduct in regards to sex. He rarely asked the same woman to bed more than once. They had to be unafraid of him too. In the past, Hux had sent girls to him who were clearly terrified of him. He had sent them away without touching them. Hux soon learnt to stop doing it as the shame and anger would make Kylo destroy everything in sight for days.

 

There weren't many women who moved in First Order circles and you had to have a fair amount of dauntlessness to do so. So now and again he would meet someone who would look at him with awe rather than fear. Many were quite open about their desire to bed him. Now and again, he would meet a woman who would catch his eye. Bazine had been the longest bedmate simply and purely because she didn't fear him in a capacity that was perhaps sensible. It had been refreshing to Ren to have someone match his temper and almost get off on it. It was probably why she had stayed as long as she did.

 

Sometimes, Ren wondered why he put himself through it. He knew the answer: he had needed to feel a touch, any touch, if only for one night and even if it meant nothing to either of the participants beyond general pleasure he could live with that.

 

There was only one other time before the mask came on and he had tried not to think about it for the past ten years. Yet his mind couldn't help revisit it now.

 

_It had been a week before his 21 st birthday. A week before he would have to hide away and live inside the commissioned helmet that had been made especially. He had known this would be his fate for years yet it made it harder somehow. He'd been angry. Furious. He'd been afraid. _

 

_The week before his birthday, he had taken a ship and enough credits to buy a palace and set off for Coruscant. His objective had been simple: to lose his virginity._

 

_His childhood and adolescent years had not been kind. Years spent training to be a Jedi that he never felt he could be. Years spent listening to his parents tear each other apart with words. Years of waiting. Waiting for the inevitable. The terrible realisation that he would be imprisoned for something that he had never had any part in._

 

_He'd been awkward and prone to rages. He was sensitive to criticism and words left marks on his psyche that he just couldn't shift. The boys of his youth had been harsh and the girls even worse. He'd never liked his appearance. Too tall. Too broad in places. Not broad enough in others. Hair that wouldn't behave. Nose, lips and ears too big for his face. Girls never came near him when he was younger and they didn't come near him now he was nearly a man. Even if they wanted to, Ren's inability to keep his temper in check kept them away. So intimacy and other carnal pursuits were off the table._

 

_Ren had decided that he didn't want to go into his suit of armour never knowing. Even if it was only once, even if it meant nothing, he wanted to feel something._

 

_He'd heard stories of the courtesans of Coruscant. Tales of their skill, seductive power and beauty. It sounded as good a place to look as any._

 

_He'd landed in Coruscant and found the place of the most upper class and expensive women on offer in the city. It was an entire top floor of one of the tallest towers in the city with views that startled even Ren who had seen most of the galaxy at this point. There was crystal chandeliers, luscious sofas and marble statues that screamed of taste._

 

_And women as far as the eye could see._

 

_He had worn a hooded robe and his face was hidden in case he was recognised. Yet something of his nervousness must have still been visible._

 

_He'd been approached._

 

“ _Are you looking for a woman?”_

 

_He'd been expected to see a Madam or worse a pimp of some kind. Yet the woman who had approached him was young. She had long brown hair, big green eyes and a sweet face. She looked older than him by a year or two. He would have thought that she was maybe a greeter if it wasn't for the way she was clothed. She was wrapped in pink silk that looked like a negligée with sheer sleeves._

 

“ _Yes. I suppose so.”_

 

“ _First time here?” She'd asked, not unkindly._

 

_He'd nodded and hoped his hood was covering his reddening cheeks._

 

“ _Don't be frightened. You'll be looked after here.” She'd reassured. She touched his arm in a way that promised sincerity and comfort._

 

_An older woman who was clearly in charge came forward and proceeded to show him around when she realised that he was carrying a good deal of money. Several girls were shown to him. Humanoids, Twi'Leks, Togruta girls, all with a range of talents apparently. Most of the girls looked at him with an almost predatory look. All promising a good time. All of them seductive. Enticing. Yet… he kept looking back._

 

_Eventually…_

 

“ _What about her?” He had nodded to the first humanoid to approach him. The girl with the sweet face._

 

“ _Her?” The older woman sounded incredulous. “You want her?”_

 

_Ren hesitated for a moment then nodded._

 

_Ren watched as the older woman went back to the girl and whispered in her ear. She'd looked surprised but not unhappy. She approached Ren and taken his hand to lead him into a private room._

 

_There was a bed and various furniture in the room. All meant to signify opulence. Ren barely noticed it._

 

_The girl sat on the bed and patted the space next to her. He'd sat down awkwardly. She asked him what it was he wanted._

 

_He considered lying. Make out that he was more experienced than he actually was. But something told him that he didn't have to. This girl didn't know who he was and seemed discreet._

 

“ _Everything. I want to try it all.”_

 

_She'd nodded. “Are you a virgin?”_

 

_His eyes must have flashed because she looked apologetic._

 

“ _I'm sorry if that's a little blunt. But I need to know what I'm working with. So I know how to proceed.” There was no judgement in her tone and oddly enough no pity either._

 

_He'd eventually nodded._

 

“ _Okay. Well, let's go slow then.” She leant forward and kissed his cheek. Stupidly, it made him flush._

 

“ _What's your name?” He blurted out. It occurred to him he couldn't lie down with this woman if he didn't know her name. That was just too depressing._

 

“ _They call me Cora. What's your name?”_

 

_Again he had considered lying but it was his surname that held weight, not his first._

 

“ _Ben.”_

 

“ _Hello Ben.” She smiled. And kissed him on the lips._

 

_The first time was a bit of a haze. A haze of new and frightening sensations. Of being able to touch where he'd never dared before and tasting parts of the body he didn't know had a taste. The act itself was embarrassingly short due to the fact he had no experience and it felt bloody fantastic but Cora didn't seem to mind. She shushed him when he tried to apologise and reassured that the very first time never lasted long. They had time to make it last longer._

 

_He'd stayed for three days and two nights. They didn't leave the room and spent the time experiencing everything that Cora could think to teach and talking._

 

_Strangely, the most prominent memory of that time wasn't the sex even if it had been the point of visiting. It had been the feeling of companionship. In that room, he allowed himself to be honest. He never told Cora who he was and the fact that she had taken the virtue of the heir to the galaxy. When asked what had driven him to come to her, he'd explained that he would lose his freedom on his birthday. Cora seemed to be of the opinion that this meant he was in some kind of arranged marriage and was sympathetic. He didn't correct her._

 

_He talked about his mother, about his father, about all the people his own age who he distrusted and hated, about his loneliness. She'd let him talk. She'd listened. She hadn't judged._

 

_Cora talked too. About her life. She had no family and had decided that this was as good a way as any to survive. She wasn't unhappy but Ren could tell that this could hardly be a pleasant life all the same. She seemed optimistic that life could maybe get better one day._

 

_He began to learn the ways of a woman's body and by the second night could last a great deal longer if only through sheer force of will. He also learnt that seeing a woman enjoy herself was one of the best parts for him if only for the sake of his ego._

 

_The last night came and Ren had spent the time with his head lying in her lap. He felt happy. Optimistic. And that was dangerous._

 

_In less than five days… it would all vanish._

 

_The tears came unbidden and he cried like a small child. The feel of her hands stroking his hair and gently hushing him with promises that it would all be alright did nothing to cease the emotion._

 

_He left her with twice the credits that she needed. And a promise that he would help make her life better._

 

_Cora had smiled sadly and kissed him goodbye._

 

“ _Be happy Ben.”_

 

_He'd left without another word._

 

_He refused to speak to his parents when he returned and locked himself in his room. When he emerged it was his birthday. And the mask was on._

 

_The only thing that kept him going was his plan to go back to Coruscant. He was fairly sure it wasn't love he felt for Cora. But he felt a connection to her. An understanding. Granted she didn't know the full story but if he explained maybe she would still like him. The real him._

 

_He was fairly sure he wouldn't be able to have her as a wife. But maybe he could make her a companion. One of the selected to show his true face to. They might even come to love each other one day. And if she said no, well, he could see if he could get her job in the palace. It wasn't glamorous but at least she wouldn't have to sell herself to the highest bidder._

 

_When he arrived, he found the building in a smoking ruin._

 

_The founders of the courtesans quarters had apparently made some very bad deals with some mercenaries to ensure their living quarters remained opulent. Payments had been missed. And debts were collected._

 

_Ren searched. Sent out patrols. Used the force choke to extract information. But she was gone._

 

_Ren went home that night and destroyed the entire north wing of his apartments. This had been his chance. He'd tasted what it was like to be seen as a person. As a friend. As a confidant. And now it was gone as though it had never been there at all._

 

_He raged and destroyed everything in his path. For six months he went on like that. He reformed the Stormtroopers and hunted the mercenaries down with relentless fury._

 

_Until he struck down someone who he could never bring back._

 

_And could never tell him that he was sorry._

 

Ren looked down at the tonic in his hands. Slowly, he unscrewed the cap and poured the tonic down the drain of the bath he was sitting on.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey showed Jess around the Millennium Falcon with shyness but with mainly pride. The pilot smiled and whistled at the iconic ship.

 

“To think, this hunk of junk did the kessel run in twelve parsecs.” Jess mused. “Was a real beauty back in the day.”

 

“I've heard it was a piece of junk then too.” Rey smiled.

 

“Well, your fiancé probably spent his boyhood on this deck.”

 

Rey blinked and looked back at the walkway. The idea of a young Ren running up and down the ship never crossed her mind stupidly yet now she was certain she could hear his footfalls as though he was still there.

 

“How are things between you?” Jess asked bluntly.

 

“Fine, thank you.” Rey replied feeling a bit shy.

 

“Just 'fine'?” Jess smiled.

 

“W-why do you ask?”

 

“Oh nothing. It's just you've been looking pretty happy lately and almost… glowing.”

 

Rey tried not to squirm.

 

“Well, I've got the garden and this ship and…”

 

“And a little something indoors too?”

 

Rey went as red as a tomato.

 

“Oh Rey,” Jess smiled affectionately “don't look so shy. It's normal. Granted, I don't know exactly what he's like behind closed doors but it's clearly agreeing with you so what's the harm?”

 

“I thought you might be angry.” Rey admitted.

 

“Angry? Why on this planet would I be that?”

 

“Because… he's Kylo Ren.”

 

“Well, he was Kylo Ren when you got engaged. I didn't expect that to change.” Jess touched Rey's arm reassuringly. “I'm not the boys, Rey. Yes, there are still things that I don't like about him. About that damn Order. But… well, word is that he's been different lately. Less prone to rages. Almost calm on occasion. I personally think a little bit of your influence is a good thing.”

 

“I think he could be a force for good.” Rey declared. “I've seen kindness in him. I want to encourage it.”

 

“Then do that. For yourself. For him. The galaxy can catch up in time.”

 

Rey smiled at Jess. Female friends could come in handy after all.

 

 

***

 

Ren was staring out of the window when Rey came back to the apartments. He was positioned by the wall so no-one could see him but he could see out. The sun was still streaming in through the window.

 

Rey smiled shyly, the memory of the morning returning to her.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hello.” He replied. His mood was hard to read. He seemed calm yet not relaxed. Pensive yet not angry.

 

Rey approached slowly and looked out at the view that he had been admiring. The temptation to kiss him or catch around him was almost heady. Rey found her mind would stray to rather carnal, almost scandalous, thoughts at the most inopportune moments. Flat surfaces were now looking tempting in a way that never had before.

 

Rey and Jess had let Finn and Poe out half an hour ago. They'd emerged looking distinctly rumpled but undeniably smug and flushed. Rey prayed that they hadn't got up to whatever it was they had evidently done on her flower bed. She'd only just planted those tulip bulbs.

 

Still, all in the name of love.

 

“We're required to go out into Naboo tomorrow. The people want to see you.” Ren announced.

 

Rey blinked and then nodded slowly.

 

“Okay. Do I have to do anything?”

 

“No, just wave and smile. If you feel like it.” Ren didn't sound thrilled at the prospect himself.

 

Rey thought about it. It would be the people of Theed. Civilians. Most would have no connection with the First Order. They were just trying to live as normal a life as possible. They probably hadn't seen a friendly face in authority for a long time.

 

She could be that face.

 

Rey's fingers were brushed with Ren's. His skin was calloused yet oddly soft. Rey caught his hand in a proper hold. They both stared out over the garden for a while.

 

Dinner was brief and fairly light. Neither were too hungry. Not for food anyway.

 

Rey was about to go into the living area to start her reading exercises when Ren caught hold of her. The kiss caught her off guard but she sank into it like a hot bath. There was something yearning and indulgent about it. Like he was tasting her for the first time. Force, his lips were made for kissing.

 

Blinking once his lips let hers go, she looked at him with blown pupils. He looked like a dark angel towering over her.

 

“Fuck, you're so beautiful.” He breathed. It was like he was resigned to a fate that was destroy him and he didn't care.

 

“You are too.” She whispered. He scoffed but she caught hold of his cowl and gripped it. “You are! I'll strike down anyone who says different.”

 

“Most people will.”

 

“Fuck most people.” Rey spat.

 

Rey nearly let out an undignified squeak as he feasted on her mouth again and let him manoeuvre her onto the sofa, laying down on top of her as he made delicious love to her lips.

 

Tomorrow, they would be the paragon of virtue and royalty. Tonight they were heathens. And the night was young.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was okay.
> 
> I've wanted to touch on Kylo's past for a while and I wanted to give a bit of background on his relationship with intimacy and loss. This was an idea that kind of ran away with me but I think it works.
> 
> Kudos and comments are love and kisses and fudge cake with no calories that doesn't taste like crap.


	22. A Ceremony of Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening guys. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support. I've been writing a lot more lately so hopefully I can update a little bit quicker soon. I don't like keeping people waiting for chapters. And you guys are so awesome I never want to disappoint.
> 
> A massive thank you to Lavenderkushkiss for these beautiful fanart pieces. I love fan art with a passion but can't draw for the life of me. Check out the links and give her lots of love.
> 
> http://lavenderkushkiss.tumblr.com/post/150541820858/has-anyone-else-been-obsessively-reading-the http://lavenderkushkiss.tumblr.com/post/150568797933/whats-a-bride-without-her-overtly-tall-groom-who
> 
> This was written (particularly the last part of the chapter) to Sam Tsui ft Kurt Schneider 'Safe and Sound'.

Ren feasted on Rey's mouth and every bit of skin he could get to for what felt like, and may well have been, hours. He was conscious to not suck the skin on her neck too hard so not to leave any marks. He doubted she would appreciate it if she had to go out in public tomorrow with a necklace of love bites. He contended himself instead with licking and tasting her collarbones, her neck and a spot behind her ear than made her keen with pleasure before inevitably being dragged by the hair back to her wanting lips.

 

Any shyness or fears he had felt had given way to possession and an insatiable need to keep her close. Trapping her beneath his frame and grinding her through the sofa might not be the most romantic or gentle approach but judging from her little hiccuping breaths and startled gasps she wasn't complaining.

 

He pulled away from her to look down at her lying prone beneath him. She looked like sin itself yet so pure at the same time. Her eyes were closed and her breath was coming out in gasps. Her cheeks crimson with her freckles standing proudly along to bridge of her nose and those little buns she always wore coming loose in her hair. This vision made him want to shield her. Protect her and hide her away. Yet when her eyes fluttered open, her hazel eyes which he had come to read better than a holobook was nearly overtaken with black lust. Grasping his hand, she brought it to the waistband of her pants and simply whispered:

 

“Touch me.”

 

He fully intended to obey.

 

He saw her surprise when he pulled away and got to his feet. He managed to quell the fright in her eyes that he was leaving with a hand around her wrist that pulled her to her own feet.

 

He led her down the hall and she looked with hunger at the bed that his open bedroom door showcased. But Ren wasn't heading for the bedroom.

 

He pushed open the door to the fresher.

 

Ren waved his hand and the water from the fresher burst forth. Rey's eyes widened and then looked back up at him. The glint of intrigue and mischief that greeted him was all he needed.

 

They stripped one another of their tunics and upper body clothing as quickly as possible. He noticed with some surprise and hunger that when he was down to only his arm-guards and a bare torso, Rey was practically gasping and her nails were biting into his exposed hips.

 

Hmmm. Maybe he could explore that… some other time.

 

Taking off her leggings was a somewhat more delicate matter. They'd never been fully naked in front of one another before. Her pants started to take on a slightly more tremulous air and their kisses a little more lingering and gentle.

 

In the end, Rey gave her bottoms the push they needed to end up puddled around her feet.

 

He looked. And wondered if he would ever be able to look away.

 

Her hips were as slight as the rest of her. Her skin golden and smooth. Her legs were fucking endless and they framed her beautiful pussy to perfection.

 

While most women tended to be absolutely hairless these days, Rey still held a neat patch of curls around her pubic area. Ren had sampled them when he had slid his fingers into her knickers previously so knew they were there. The sight of them made his cock throb. It somehow made her more enticing and stayed true to her.

 

Ren felt a flurry of anxiety when he unbuckled his own belt but rationalised that she had seen the majority that very morning.

 

Soon they were both stood as naked as the day they were born.

 

Rey ran her hands down his chest and stared unabashed at him in all his glory. She slipped her hands down to stroke his thighs and he felt her fingers twitch in the direction of cock that jutted out proudly amongst his own thatch of hair.

 

Claiming a kiss that was all tongue and teeth and animal lust, Ren picked Rey up and pulled her into the fresher.

 

The water was hot enough to raise steam around them but not enough to burn. The duel sensation of the water soothing his muscles and Rey's petite body wet and slippery against his had him growling into her neck.

 

Rey's nails scratched along his shoulders as she kissed along his chest. The girl, normally so confident and eloquent, had dissolved into moans, sighs and gasps as she grabbed at any part of him she could find. Ren wanted to explore too.

 

Rey gave a little sound of disapproval when he caught her wrists and pulled them off him. It soon turned to one of confusion and surprise when he dropped to his knees before her. When Ren picked up her thigh and hooked it over his shoulder, she let out a noise that might have been a protest and seemed to be trying to press her thighs together to hide what he was honing in on with such hunger.

 

“Just relax. Let me explore. I'll make it good.”

 

Her little sigh and the relaxing of her legs allowed him the freedom he needed.

 

It had been so long since he had done this but he'd thought of this more than anything else. There was something so fantastically dirty and debauched about the act. He took the time to inhale her musky scent before kissing her pubic bone.

 

He kissed every inch he could around where she was becoming increasingly anxious to have him and the moment his tongue made contact with her lower lips they both moaned in delight.

 

Ren normally liked to take his time with new experiences with Rey. Mainly so not to overwhelm them. He couldn't this time. He lapped at her pussy and clit ruthlessly. Maker, he'd missed this!

 

Rey's fingers had woven into his soaking hair and were now tugging.

 

“Fuck, Ren… maaaaker” was all he could translate from her moans and pants. The fact that she could speak at all indicated that he needed to work harder.

 

Rubbing his nose against her swollen flesh, he slid a long finger inside her. The passage was slick and easy but he could feel her shake. He had never actually ventured this far. He kept his finger stationary for her to get used to the foreign sensation. He continued to kiss and lick at her exposed flesh until she finally gasped. “Do something. _Anything_.”

 

Not ceasing his oral attentions he began to move his finger in and out of her. He carried doing this, at varying speeds, with the water cascading down them, until he could feel she was close. At that signal, he crooked his finger in a 'come hither' motion and sucked on her clitoris.

 

Rey let out a wail that a part of Ren couldn't quite believe came from his tough beautiful little scavenger and shuddered messily yet beautifully around and above him.

 

He kissed around her pubic area, knowing she would be sensitive before rising to his feet.

 

Rey was leaning against the shower wall, looking like she was seconds from her legs giving way. After a few moments, she went steady but then sank to her knees anyway.

 

Ren had enough of his mind left to try to utter that it wasn't necessary if she didn't want to but Rey pre-empted that by pushing him back against the wall with her hands on his hips.

 

“You will stand still. And you will enjoy this.” It was a warning to not attempt to be chivalrous rather than a promise. It made him feel like he might cum untouched.

 

Her first movements consisted of kitten licks along his shaft. She was clearly testing this new ground and as far as Ren could see she wasn't showing any signs of adversity.

 

The sight was too much for him and he had to close his eyes for risk of losing control far too quickly. And he didn't want this to end. Possibly ever. Oh Maker, he'd missed _this_ too!

 

That worked for all of a minute before Rey spotted this and drew his attention by taking as much of him as she could into her mouth.

 

Her mouth was so hot, so wet, so eager to please and her tongue so unceasing in its attentions that he slammed his palm against the wall and tried to pull away. Rey's hands hold him by his buttocks alerted Ren that she wasn't letting him go and finally he surrendered and roared his release into her mouth.

 

Rey stood up slowly and placed a gentle kiss on his gasping throat. Ren pulled her as close as he could and stroked back her tangled and soaking hair.

 

The steam completely obscured the fresher. Ren was pleased; he didn't want the galaxy to see them for as long as the vapour could hide them.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey walked along the palace gardens. It was early morning, the air was crisp and the sun was only just peaking over the trees. Normally she would head straight to her own little garden but today she needed to keep walking.

 

She'd slept well the previous night. Her and Ren had dried off and collapsed into bed. For the first time, Rey had allowed herself to fall asleep in his arms and with her head on his chest. It had all been so electric. She'd been nervous about giving pleasure to him. She had heard stories back on Jakku about those sort of acts and they had sounded absolutely disgusting. Indeed, they still were in her mind when she thought about them in the context of some of the people on Jakku. With him… it had felt sexy and made her feel powerful. She'd been a complete novice yet she had torn him apart without even knowing what to do. It had made her core tingle and her toes curl.

 

The passions of the previous night had faded to the dawning realisation of what was expected of her today. She would have to face the people of Naboo.

 

She couldn't deny it; she was nervous.

 

Rey had only known the eyes of court and the palace on her. That was bad enough at times. What would the population of the city be like?

 

Rey picked flowers while she walked through the gardens and started to make her way back to her rooms. The perfumed petals and bright colours always filled her with happiness.

 

Once she was back inside the room she found an old crystal vase (which looked as though it had never once been used) and placed the flowers in with some water. She knew it was silly but she wanted to spread a little bit of colour in the otherwise dark rooms.

 

Ren emerged an hour later, looking his usual put together self. Rey indulged herself with the idea that he had a little bit more of a twinkle in his eye than usual.

 

He looked at the vase of the flowers and raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Rey considered it a victory.

 

“What can I expect today? All in all?” Rey asked quickly. Best to find out straight away.

 

“Not very much.” Ren replied. “Mainly to stand with me and show your face. To show a unity with myself and the First Order.”

 

Rey frowned. She'd been afraid of that.

 

Her position in the First Order hadn't been raised for a while as they had found other things to occupy their thoughts (e.g. sleeping without pretence, night-time kissing, shower fondling). Now though it was becoming a more pressing issue.

 

Rey would never help the First Order and she didn't want to promote them in any way. She was quite happy to stand beside Ren and show herself as his wife-to-be. She had come to accept that she could enjoy a very happy life with him. She cared for him. She wanted him. She may even be coming to… she wasn't sure but it felt strong and sometimes overwhelming. It scared her a little.

 

But the white armoured soldiers? No. Not now. Not ever.

 

Ren spotted her frown and formed one of his own.

 

“Is that an issue?”

 

“Not an issue, no.” Rey replied carefully.

 

Ren looked down and looked like he was choosing his words carefully. “I'm sorry if the prospect of being my prisoner wife is still unappealing.”

 

Rey looked up sharply. He looked… hurt.

 

“No! That's not it! Maker, I'm… I'm quite happy to be seen as your… It's not that. I promise.”

 

Ren looked at her and something in her eyes must have portrayed her earnestness because the barriers that had been wrenched up at her presumed embarrassment of him seemed to slowly lower.

 

“What then?”

 

Rey sighed. “The First Order… you want me as some kind of mascot.”

 

Ren's face was not so much hurt and angry now as it was stern.

 

“Our marriage was organised for a political reason. That hasn't changed. I need a Queen who the people will support. It will help me and by default help the Order.”

 

“So all I have to do is act like a bitch and the First Order falls? Sounds fun.”

 

It was meant as a joke. It wasn't taken as such.

 

“You are not asked to speak or do anything that actively promotes them. I saw to that out of concern for you. But I won't let you sabotage this either.”

 

This was what Rey hated. When the First Order came into play, when Hux came to their door with his damn schedule, Ren who whispered to her at night, kissed her with shocking gentleness and made her feel like she was building a home, would revert back to Kylo Ren. Sovereign of the Galaxy. Enforcer of Rules. Killer of traitors. Didn't care if his subjects loved or loathed him so long as he was obeyed.

 

She obeyed no-one but herself.

 

“Trust me,” Rey intoned firmly, “I won't say a peep. I'll be silent. But if I see something wrong, I'm just as good without my staff as I am with it.”

 

Ren glared at her. She glared back.

 

More words would have been exchanged. Caustic biting words they would probably regret later on but Hux chose that moment to knock the apartment doors.

 

Ren shoved on his helmet and disappeared behind more masks than Rey could possibly see.

 

Hux strode into the room with Captain Phasma not far behind. Rey hadn't seen the silver plated woman for a while but she looked as shiny as ever.

 

“Good to see you're up.” Hux announced taking in Ren and Rey. The distance and atmosphere between them didn't seem to concern him. On the contrary, he seemed greatly pleased. “Your presence is required in the training grounds, Ren. You are to oversee the soldiers' procession before joining us.”

 

“Very well. I leave the rest to you.” His voice was deeper and modulated. He strode away without another word.

 

Rey grinded her teeth.

 

“As for you,” Hux looked Rey up and down, “I hope you have some suitable attire to wear.”

 

“As long as it doesn't involved gems or silks, then yes.” Rey replied crisply.

 

Hux sniffed at her tone and nodded his head towards the towering plated soldier. “Captain Phasma shall provide you with security today.”

 

“I can handle myself.” Rey sniffed.

 

“Yes, the two stormtroopers who are still having nasal difficulties will attest to that after our first meeting with you(!) But you are getting a bodyguard whether you like it or not.” Hux snapped.

 

Rey glared at him. God, this joyless micromanaging twat really was the bane of her life.

 

“I thought this was meant to be peaceful. I'm only meant to show my face and I haven't done anything!”

 

“That matters little. You are the future wife of the most powerful man in the Galaxy. To let you go out into a crowd without backup would be a whole new breed of stupid.”

 

Rey knew arguing would be pointless. Hux took her silence as assent.

 

“You have an hour to get ready. Be prompt. Captain Phasma shall remain with you.” And before Rey could snap that she could dress herself, he had turned on his heel and strode out.

 

Rey looked up at Phasma. She really was huge. She was probably even a bit taller than Ren. Not an easy feat for a man let along a woman.

 

Rey walked into her bedroom to look through the wardrobe for something 'appropriate to wear'. She had lived quite happily in the tunics and soft pants that Ren had sent for her. It would be hard to say goodbye to them for the day.

 

Rey eventually chose a white long tunic that stretched over her bum and black leggings. She was confident that the tunic was actually a dress for a lady much more daring and willing to show her legs.

 

Dressing and sitting down at the little used vanity table in the corner, she started to style her hair. She wasn't very good at braids so decided to try only one bun for today.

 

Phasma was still in the living room and didn't seem to have moved. Rey sighed.

 

“What can I expect today?” Rey called out.

 

There was silence for a moment and Rey thought she wasn't going to reply. Then a filter and modulated voice came through.

 

“A lot of cheering and waving.” Her tone was bored and matter-of-fact. “The people seem fond of you so I wouldn't worry.”

 

“Then why do I need you by my side?” Rey asked.

 

“To keep an eye that you don't get up to mischief more than likely.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. She didn't get up to mischief; mischief just generally found her.

 

Rey considered arguing a bit more but found it would waste her energy. And she needed that today.

 

***

 

She followed Phasma down into the lobby of the palace where the steps were on the other side of the entrance. Rey could hear noise. A lot of noise.

 

“Don't panic, girl.” Phasma drawled. “Just wave a little and it will be over in a matter of minutes.”

 

“You make it sound so magical(!)” Rey replied sagely.

 

“May as well know what to expect.” Phasma said.

 

They waited a few minutes and then Phasma nodded her gun, which was always in her grip, towards the doors. It was time.

 

Stepping into the afternoon light, Rey blinked and was suddenly surrounded by sound. The streets of Theed were lined with people. They were closed off from getting too close by lines of Stormtroopers but they didn't really seem to notice them.

 

Everyone was looking at her.

 

Rey followed Phasma to the front of the steps. It was then that she realised that Hux and a number of other First Order dignitaries were waiting and would stand with her.

 

Rey didn't look at them. Just at the people.

 

She still felt sick. Still would rather have been in her garden or on the Falcon or anywhere else.

 

Instead she smiled and raised her hand. She could be a good example. She could try and make life easier for them.

 

Footsteps thumped heavy behind her and she turned to see Ren stand beside her. He was in full regalia. A black shadow amongst the marble.

 

The crowd was still loud but also more controlled. Rey could see some people had stopped doing anything at all. They didn't know what was welcome and what would incur punishment.

 

Rey glanced back at him and pushed back her shoulders.

 

_I will make them see there's good in you. Even if I have to drag it out of you kicking and screaming._

 

_***_

 

The ceremony of the steps didn't last too long. Ren was drawn towards a matter that needed to be discussed with a Stormtrooper and Rey followed Phasma through the city using private pathways so she wasn't mobbed.

 

Theed was a beautiful city. Architecture was rich and spoke of wealth beyond Rey's dreams.

 

Rey was taking it all in when she caught a movement in the corner of her eye. Phasma also caught it and spun around with her gun aimed.

 

The movement gave a squeak and dived behind a statue. But not well enough for Rey not to see what had made the noise.

 

“It's a child.” Rey looked at Phasma and then angrily smacked the barrel. “Put that down! It's not going to hurt us.”

 

Phasma tutted as though irritated. “Orphans. They are always running around here. We told them to stay inside today.”

 

Rey moved forward. “Come out. It's okay. We won't hurt you.”

 

The figure was slow coming forward but eventually peaked out. It was a Twi'lek boy with large eyes.

 

“Are you the Queen?” He asked.

 

Rey thought about it. “I will be.”

 

“Everyone says you are kind. And pretty.”

 

“I like to think I'm kind at least.” Rey reasoned.

 

“Will you come and see my friends?” He asked with the enthusiasm only a child could have. Rey had always felt more of an affinity to children. They don't have agendas.

 

“Where are they?”

 

“In the orphanage on the square.”

 

Rey looked at Phasma. “Take us there.”

 

“My orders are to keep you safe and keep you on schedule.”

 

“You are a Captain. Your orders are whatever you want them to be.” Rey argued.

 

Phasma made a noise like a tut then looked down the path they were following. “It is on the route I have to take you. We will have to be quick.”

 

Rey nodded to the boy and he took off in front of them as fast as his little legs would run.

 

The path Phasma led her down still had its architectural beauty but was starting to look a little shabby. This was the parts of the city that were allowed to fall to neglect. The ones that weren't on display so didn't matter.

 

Rey entered the stone building where the orphanage was housed. And was quickly assaulted by a thousand little excited voices and the eyes of a dozen children.

 

All different kinds of children dwelled here. More Twi'leks, humanoids, Echani and Keshiri. All eager to see and speak to her. She tried to follow as many conversations as possible.

 

One girl, a humanoid, was the most confident of all the children asking to touch her skin and hair. Rey let her without complaint. The little girl was pretty with red hair to her shoulders, a rather threadbare tunic and skirt, and brown eyes. Rey wondered whether her parents had promised to come back too.

 

The little girl dashed off with a promise of a present which Rey laughed at and nodded. The other children carried on with their happy chatter to their new friend and ruler.

 

Rey caught a sound behind her. Phasma's voice.

 

“She was insistent, Sir. I thought it best not to argue.”

 

Another voice. “I see.”

 

Rey looked around. Ren was stood with Phasma and looking at her intently.

 

One of the children caught sight of him. He let out a gasp. All the other children looked in the direction the Echani boy was staring. They saw Kylo Ren.

 

One of the things with children is that there is never a pretence. The children didn't know how to conceal their fright at the sight of the feared leader and shot off in all directions. Some hid under the table. Some behind any furniture. Some just ran as far and as fast as they could. Away from danger. Away from him.

 

Rey wanted to call out to them to come back. That he wasn't dangerous. He wouldn't hurt them. He wouldn't want to.

 

Except that he _was_ dangerous to enemies. And as far as they were concerned he was a monster.

 

Instead she could only look at him now alone where she had once been surrounded.

 

Ren looked about in the directions the children had run away from him. The mask hid his emotions but Rey knew.

 

“You diverted from the path.” His voice was cold.

 

“I wanted to see where the children lived.”

 

“Evidently.” Ren's position was all authority. A commander. “You will come with me. We are expected to walk amongst the square.”

 

Rey could only nod coldly.

 

Ren went to turn away when he was nearly run into by the little humanoid girl who had promised Rey a present.

 

Rey held her breath as the little girl stopped and looked up at Ren. Her tiny frame and Ren's enormous height reminded her of his interactions with Maz.

 

She waited for the child to run off in fright. She didn't. She stared up, her head tipped back so far, she looked like she was going to fall over.

 

Ren said nothing then slowly sunk down to balance on his heels. His head tilted as though inspecting something interesting.

 

“Hello.” The girl finally piped up.

 

Ren said nothing. Rey said nothing. She had no idea _what_ to say.

 

“Are you going to make her the Queen?” She asked pointing to Rey.

 

“I am.” Ren's tone was stiff even behind the mask.

 

“Good. I like her.” The little girl looked at the mask in front of her. With a tiny finger, she poked it. It made a loud sound in the silence of the room. “Why do you wear that?”

 

“To hide my face.” His voice was almost soft.

 

“What's wrong with your face?” She asked with all the direct innocence of a child.

 

A pause. “I can't show it to anyone.” His voice was quiet. Resigned.

 

The girl frowned. “That's sad.”

 

Kylo looked down at what the girl had clutched in her hands. A little bouquet of posies.

 

“What are those?” He asked his tone more neutral.

 

“They're for her.” Again she pointed to Rey. “They're pretty.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

The little girl looked down at her little bunch of flowers. She picked one out. “You can have one.”

 

Kylo didn't move but she tucked the flower into his sleeve. His masked face looked at the tiny flower and then at the girl. He didn't say a word. Rey wondered if he was capable of it.

 

Rey looked around. The other children had come creeping back out of their hiding places. The sight of their friend talking with the man that had inspired such fear seemed to be reassuring them that he might not be so dangerous after all.

 

Ren stood up suddenly and strode out of the old building without a word. He seemed almost desperate to get out.

 

The little girl watched him go and then handed the remaining flowers to Rey. “For you.”

 

Rey could only swallow the lump in her throat and followed Phasma outside.

 

***

 

Rey followed the procession through the street and was soon back in heart of the square where there were more people to see her. She nodded and smiled where needed but was too distracted to pay too much attention now.

 

They were at the bottom of the steps about to go back into the palace when it all went to hell.

 

Rey spotted on the edge of her vision a familiar sight. The children had followed them and were watching from the stone arches that lined the way. Rey smiled and waved at them.

 

The little red-haired girl, who was clearly the most bold, inched as close as she could to see as much as she could. And inadvertently crossed a barrier guarded by a Stormtrooper.

 

“Oi! Get back you little runt!” The white armed figure picked the girl up by the scruff of the neck and tossed her back beyond where he was guarding. She landed with a cry and a painful thud.

 

Rey was ready to run at him and slam her fist into his helmet until it was dented beyond repair. But someone had got there first.

  
The Stormtrooper was yanked into the air and choking. He seemed to be floating in mid-air. Rey spun around. Ren had his hand stretched out. He was using the Force.

 

With a vicious flick of his wrist, the Stormtrooper flew through the air and into a stone pillar in much the same manner as he had tossed the little girl. He crashed into the wall and crumpled to the ground.

 

Rey was frozen and thought he was dead before a pained groan alerted her that he had survived. Barely.

 

Kylo was breathing heavily. The anger and confusion radiated off him.

 

The little girl was sitting up and surrounded by her friends. The other little children were all looking at Ren. _Everyone_ was looking at Ren. In the eyes of everyone was shock, confusion, fear and beneath it all, impossible but certainly there, approval.

 

***

 

Rey was taken back to her room and left there alone as soon as Phasma could usher her along. Hux had stepped in to take Ren away. She was left alone ever since. She had lost the bunch of flowers she had been gifted in the upheaval.

 

Rey undressed and climbed into bed. She felt far too restless to sleep but was at a loss about what else to do. She didn't want to go down to the hanger or the gardens. She couldn't talk to Poe, Finn or Jess as she didn't think she could explain what had happened. Or was happening.

 

After about an hour, Rey heard the door to the apartments open. Ren's trademark heavy step could be heard in the living room. Rey forced herself to keep still and wait.

 

He emerged into the bedroom. Rey was shocked to see how dazed and tired he looked. She could imagine the reaction that Hux would have had.

 

Rey had wanted to ask him questions. But decided against it. Instead, she stood up and made her way over to him.

 

Pushing gently to sit down, she wordlessly undid his coat, cowl, neck guard and tunic. Ren said nothing and let her undress him.

 

Eventually he lay down on the bed and Rey silently lay next to him. There was quiet between them.

 

“Tell me about the garden. Tell me something good.” His voice was thick and weary.

 

Rey stroked his hair. She spoke about the bulbs that she had planted. About the weeds she had dug up. The smell of the grass when it was wet with dew. The scent of the lavender plants that made her feel so sleepy. The tree in the garden that bloomed in the summer. The petals sometimes shed in the wind. If they were to kiss under it now, it would be like confetti.

 

Rey spoke of everything and nothing until Ren went still and breathed deeply.

 

***

 

Rey got up to get some water that night. She passed the vase of flowers on the way.

 

A single posy had been slipped into the water with the other flowers. To nurture it. To preserve and protect it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? You guys are so good with feedback but I would really love to know what you think of this. Feedback gives me life.


	23. Tale as Old as Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening guys! 
> 
> This is a chapter that I think is really important to the Beauty and the Beast story. Oh yes, it's Ball time.
> 
> This is the dress that I imagined Rey wearing:
> 
> http://www.eweddingdress.uk/2549-5475/full-length-ball-gown-luxurious-flower-fabric-corset-bodice-strapless-neckline-prom-dress-p-0012.jpg
> 
> I listened to Clairity "Don't Panic" and, of course, "Beauty and the Beast" by Angela Lansbury. God bless you, Mrs Potts.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ren woke to Rey curled up in the crook of his arm. She was still asleep with her breaths coming out steadily through her nose and tickling his skin. She never looked more young, or innocent, or lovely than when she was asleep. Like a flower in a barren land.

 

Flower…

 

Ren closed his eyes and longed to fall back into a deep sleep. Preferably forever.

 

The previous day felt like a complete blur. Like a dream. Or a nightmare. Maybe a little bit of both. The day had started as planned. The Stormtroopers were all prepared and lined the streets of Theed. Rey had seemed to play her part relatively well albeit clearly nervous. She had looked unmistakeably pure in her white dress and black leggings and Ren had been forced to fight the urge to take her hand. To whisper an encouragement of some kind. Not that she needed it. The girl was stronger than his most hardened fighters. And the people loved her.

 

He had been called away and had been startled and panicked when Phasma and Rey did not appear where they were scheduled to. He ventured out and located her easily enough in the crumbling ruin of an orphanage.

 

The children had run from him. Of course they did. He terrified all who encountered him. Even Rey had been scared of him when they had first met. That didn't mean that their complete inability to hide that fact didn't sting the skin as though he had ripped off his helmet there and then.

 

He'd wanted to leave. Get back to the schedule. Back to something he knew and could predict.

 

He couldn't have predicted a red-haired girl running into his legs and looking at him with fascination but no apparent fear.

 

Ren should have kept going. Yet here was a child looking at him as though she didn't understand what she was looking at but wanted to learn.

 

He'd let himself balance on his heels so he was level with her. This was the closest he had been to a child in ten years. He'd forgotten how small they were.

 

She asked why he wore the helmet. He told her. Somehow he knew she would accept nothing but the truth. And then she had decided he could have a flower.

 

It was just a posy. You could get them anywhere. They lined the palace gardens and Ren was sure if he went searching he would find the patch where she had plucked them out of the ground.

 

It shouldn't have shaken him so much. Shouldn't have confused him. Shouldn't have affected him.

 

But it did.

 

He'd tried to leave it behind. Tried to forget the incident. To be Kylo Ren of the First Order. Feared and maligned. He was used to that. He could play that role well. A child wasn't supposed to want to make him feel better when he was in that role.

 

Yet the posy stayed in his sleeve, pushed far enough up there that it touched his unseen skin. It was brushing his skin when he saw the girl try to catch sight of them again. When the Stormtrooper caught her and threw her away like she was nothing. When suddenly his role didn't matter and all that screamed through his head was ' _Do. Not. Touch. HER!'_

 

The repercussions were as expected. Hux had dragged him away and yelled bloody murder when they were in the council room.

 

_What were you thinking? What the hell was that? How are we meant to explain that?_

 

Ren would have normally yelled back or smashed the place so badly to pieces that no Stormtrooper would come within 50 yards of the wing. Instead, he was mostly silent. Hux presumed it was insolence and Ren was happy for it. For, if he was able to see his face, he would have seen that he was grey in the cheeks.

 

Ren had expected an interrogation of the same kind from Rey when he had got back to their apartments. Except she had simply undressed him and comforted him by explaining all the ins and outs of her little garden. He'd fallen to sleep to the soft sounds of her voice.

 

Today was going to be impossible. He would have to face the Order. He would have to make sure Hux didn't have more reason to call his leadership into questions. And tonight, there was the kriffin Ball.

 

Like so much that had happened in the last two months time had flown by without any notice. Tonight was the ball for the delegates that himself and Rey must attend. And in two days… they would be married.

 

He wasn't expect to enjoy either (the ball or the wedding) as they had had next to no say in either. But he wanted Rey to enjoy it. And, if enjoying it was a bit too much to expect, then at least not hate it.

 

He didn't think he could face meeting her in the great hall or at the alter with a pained look of forced happiness on her face and desperate tiredness in her eyes.

 

Ren didn't move until Rey woke up and even then he stayed completely still beneath her. They both lay awake yet motionless for a long time.

 

* * *

 

For the first time, Rey didn't take her breakfast downstairs in the kitchens with Finn. Instead, she stayed with Ren.

 

He was still mostly silent for the first hour. They had dressed and sat down at the dining table where food had been provided by the droids. Somehow, the crunch of bread in Rey's mouth seemed too loud for the room and the taste was acrid in her mouth.

 

Finally Rey could stand it no longer. There was only so long you could survive a morning by only asking your fiancé if he would like more coffee. And his 'No, thank you' was far too polite.

 

“You did a good thing yesterday.” She stated.

 

Ren, who was stirring his porridge, grimaced. “I did a stupid thing yesterday.”

 

“It wasn't. It was noble. It was good-”

 

“Stop it.”

 

“It was kind!”

 

“I'm not kind, Rey.” His voice was edged in warning. A warning to stop. But there was a waver. A desperation. For her to stop.

 

“You and I both know that's not true. You wouldn't have done half the things you have done for me if there wasn't kindness in you.” Rey insisted.

 

“That's different!” He cried slamming his spoon down. Rey didn't jump. “You're… you're going to be the Queen.”

 

“I'm going to be your wife.” Rey corrected.

 

Ren looked like he was grinding his teeth but then nodded. “Quite. You… you need to be kept on side. You ran off once-”

 

“-only because you frightened me off-”

 

“-so to lose you again...” He was clearly going for what she called the Hux approach: clinical, ambitious, thinking only of his empire. Except for the fact he was piss poor at it. No matter how hard he tried he wasn't Hux. He wasn't made of ice. He was made of fire. Fire, rage and passion.

 

“You could have just locked me in a dungeon if you wanted me kept in one place. You didn't need to give me a ship, a garden of my own, new clothes and anything else I’ve ever asked for.”

 

“Stop making me into a hero. I'm not nor ever will be one of those.” His tone was sure and definitive on that one. There was no room for argument. Rey could hazard a guess as to why: his parents had been deemed heroes. And look at what they had created.

 

Yes, look at what had come from them both. Something pained and angry. Weary and fragile. Strong and broken. Terrible and beautiful.

 

“I don't want to a hero for a husband.” Rey insisted. “I'll settle for a man who does what he believes is right. I'm not even going to expect to agree with what he believes to be right sometimes. Just as long as you do.”

 

_Think for yourself. Don't follow anyone. Follow your instincts. Follow the light._

 

The conflict that chased across his face made him look so young. How quickly had he had to grow up? How quickly had both of them had to abandon childhood?

 

Rey rose from her seat and approached him. He held up a hand.

 

“I told you. Not until-”

 

It was effortless in the end. For all the practise that she had acquired, her overwhelming desire for that chair to be by his side managed to move the chair smoothly across the room and set down next to him without her touching it.

 

Ren stared at it clearly at a loss for words. Rey sat down in the chair at his side.

 

“I've done as you asked. Now please… consider it if nothing else.” Rey touched his hand. “And finish your porridge. I've a feeling we're going to need all the strength we can get.”

 

 

***

 

Rey finally left the apartments to go down to the hanger. She found Jess reading a holobook in the cockpit of Poe's X-Wing with her feet propped up on the dashboard.

 

“You know he'll kill you if he catches you scuffing the controls.” Rey mentioned as a means of a greeting.

 

“Well if he cares so bloody much, he should stop snogging his boyfriend and come down here himself.” Jess replied turning a page to illustrate her point.

 

Rey chuckled and climbed up the ladder to draw level with the pretty pilot.

 

“How are Finn and Poe?” Rey asked.

 

“Judging from the look of constant smugness from Poe and glassy eyed bliss from Finn, I'm going to hazard a guess that its going well.” Jess sighed good naturedly.

 

Rey beamed. In the midst of all the confusion and angst, it was good to see some genuine uncomplicated happiness.

 

“Good for them. They deserve some happiness.”

 

“That they do. Anyway,” Jess tossed the holobook over her shoulder, “enough of the boy wonders. What about you? No-one would let us come to your grand introduction to Theed and I can't get an answer out of anyone. Did it go okay?”

 

Rey contemplated telling Jess what had happened. But where to start? It was easier to shrug and say “It was scary but okay in the end.”

 

Jess was a little too good at reading people at times in a way that Poe and Finn weren't so good at. Jess could clearly spot a lie in Rey's face but nodded as though not particularly interested in tugging that particular thread. Yet.

 

“Well, that's one ordeal over with then. Now onto the next: the ball's tonight.”

 

Rey didn't try and hide the grimace this time.

 

“Oh Maker, I don't want to go to a ball!”

 

“It's like the most anti-social fairytale ever!” Jess laughed, earning her a punch in the shoulder. “Besides, balls are fun. Well, the Resistance ones are. This can't be much different.”

 

Rey remembered the council chamber 'welcome' she had received when she first came to Naboo and the birthday party they had thrown for Finn down in the kitchens. Rey was fairly confident that they could and would be very different indeed.

 

“Will you be coming?” Rey asked hopefully.

 

“Indeed. They like to lock me and Poe away when there are Stormtroopers but the political armistice between The First Order and the Resistance depends on us appearing now and again with big smiles. Preferably for other ambassadors to see us. And report that we haven't been imprisoned or worse.”

 

“I've never even danced before. What do people do at balls?” Rey asked.

 

“Dance. Drink. Wearing fabulous clothes. You'll probably hate it. Apart from the drinking.”

 

“I don't want everyone looking at me. I hate it.” Rey knew most people could deal with shyness but she wasn't used to a lot of people thanks to years living on Jakku with only her own thoughts. The public greeting felt oddly impersonal as Phasma would have made sure she wouldn't have had to talk to anyone if she hadn't insisted on going to the orphanage. This would be a personal kind of hell.

 

“I doubt that will be the case.” Jess reassured.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Well, from what I can gather, there will be ambassadors from parts of the Galaxy that have never come face to face with Ren before. I hear that they are more concerned with meeting the despot of the entire galaxy than his pretty young wife-to-be.”

 

Rey furrowed her brow.

 

“Are they hostile?”

 

“Not as such. Ren has more or less left them alone as they have been quiet. But they are prepared to meet a monster.”

 

Rey found her chest tighten.

 

Ren wasn't a blameless individual to his reputation and he deserved their fear. She knew this. She understood it very well. But damn it all, he was not some evil monster. It had taken her a long time to understand it herself but, now she knew, she couldn't unlearn it.

 

_There's good in him. I've seen it._

 

He would know they were afraid. He would expect it. He would take it. It wouldn't surprise him as much as kindness would. And wasn't that as sad as it got?

 

She didn't want to see the same eyes she had seen in the children in the orphanage when they had first seen Kylo.

 

If something else caught their attention…

 

She swallowed.

 

“Jess, I think I might need your help. What do you know about… dresses?”

 

Jess looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. “Enough to get by. And to pull a hot pilot now and again.”

 

“Could you help me? I have an idea but…”

 

Jess seemed to catch on. Her face was fond but also like she had been given a treat.

 

“Oh, Rey, are we going to have fun!”

 

* * *

 

Ren entered the ballroom of the palace and glanced around. The room was lit with many lights that gave the stone walls an almost golden glow. There were crowds of people all kitted out in their finery, flutes of the best Correlian champagne and food that he was certain Maz had donated a great deal of health to provide.

 

It was a beautiful scene and one that made even himself pause a moment. Hux was a bastard but one that understood both politics and interior design.

 

Ren was not a presence easily ignored and soon many people turned to stare at him.

 

He strode ahead through the room. People stepped aside for him providing him a path to the end of the ballroom. Hux had set a throne on a dais for himself and Rey. His location for the entirety of the night.

 

There was a time when he would have been proud of the deference he was shown, would have basked in the bows and the eagerness for people to dart out of the way.

 

Now he was hollow. And confused by the hollowness it inspired.

 

Ren had not sat upon his throne for more than thirty seconds before Hux materialized at his side.

 

“Good to see you are punctual.” He declared.

 

“Good to see you are still your usual joyful self.” Ren replied acidly.

 

“Any idea when our future Queen will make an appearance?”

 

“No idea. I haven't seen her since breakfast.”

 

Hux snapped his head in his direction. “What? Where is she? If she's-”

 

“She will come. She's still in the palace. I can feel it.”

 

“For your sake-”

 

“For _your_ sake, I would shut your mouth and go and see if Phasma is feeling generous towards you tonight. Before I use my force grip to ensure that use of that particular appendage she's so fond of becomes only a distant memory.”

 

Hux paled. “How-”

 

“Because I have eyes. And Stormtroopers talk. Go.”

 

Hux left him. Ren sat back and watched the movement in the hall.

 

He hadn't come into this place very often. As far as he was aware, it had only really been used twice. The first was for his parent's wedding.

 

It had been quite the event apparently. The wedding itself had been quite classy and regal. She was to be sovereign of the galaxy and was raised a princess after all. The bride had worn a grand dress of white with an enormous train and her waist length hair long and flowing. The groom had looked dashing and, though he would never admit it, quite nervous.

 

That had all taken place in the ancient temple of the Jedi. The real fun had started at the reception in this very room.

 

The drink had flowed like a river, the food had fed the guests and the poor people of Naboo for weeks afterwards and the couple were the stars of the show. Han Solo and his friend Lando Calrissian drank until Calrissian passed out and had to be carried out in a rather undignified lift by Solo's first mate and Leia Organa kicked off her shoes, ripped her dress to half the length it had originally been and danced with such energy and grace that Han Solo forgot to look nonchalant and simply gazed at his new wife with wonder and awe.

 

It was generally agreed that Ren had been conceived that very night.

 

The only other time was one that Ren himself had been present for. He had gone by another name then.

 

It had been the tenth anniversary of the victory of the Battle of Endor. His mother had decided to throw a celebration to mark the day.

 

Ren remembered being nine-years-old and meant to be in bed. He'd snuck out and hidden under a table containing food and just watched silently the entire time. Watched as beautiful women danced to tribal music associated with Endor. Listened to various conversations in many dialects. Watched his mother in all her splendour. She was the very vision of poise and beauty. And yet her eyes kept straying to the door. A look of longing and pain worsening every time. Han wasn't here. He'd promised he would be here.

 

Ben Organa-Solo had sat there that night, hidden behind a table cloth and wondered for the first time why his mother had given her heart to a smuggler. He had never understood his father and was under a very distinct impression that he was a disappointment or an oddity to the man who had helped bring him into this world.

 

His father, tall and handsome, had been a man whom Ben had looked up to. He'd been a man he wanted to impress. Yet now as he watched his mother's disappointment he saw how futile depending on this man was. When Han Solo did eventually come home, Ben didn't come to greet him.

 

Ren found himself wondering why Rey was taking so long. It wasn't like her at all yet he didn't let himself panic. It would do no good to show weakness. Especially on such a public stage.

 

The members of the ball, who had been throwing what they thought were covert looks his way all night, had started looking in the direction of the door. A murmur raised excitedly in the crowd.

 

Ren tilted his head to see what it was everyone was looking at. And he felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

 

Rey was approaching him and he looked as she had never done before. Her hair was loose and curled around her face. Her face was made up subtly enough so it looked like it was a natural glow yet highlighted her envious cheekbones, soft lips and wide hazel eyes. The gown was a soft pink colour, one he never expected to see Rey in, except when she approached a little closer he saw that the dress was made to resemble roses. There was a silk sash around the middle to highlight her slim waist.

 

She was happiest surrounded by flowers so why would her clothes be any different?

 

She was walking quite slowly and almost deliberately and it was a few moments before Ren realised that it was because she was wearing heels. She was clearly trying not to trip or fall.

 

Ren stood from his throne and waited for her as she approached. He wondered if he would feel this exhilarated, scared, honoured and unworthy at their wedding?

 

He sighed. Of course he wouldn't. It would be a million times worse.

 

There was a moment when he thought Rey might stumble a little as she climbed the two steps to sit in her seat. He held out his hand and she caught it gratefully. She had clearly been determined but tense all the time it had taken her to walk to him. Now, as she looked up at him, he saw a genuine hint of gratitude and relief.

 

He led her to her seat and they sat down together. It was an exact replica of the first time they had sat on their thrones when she had arrived in his grandmother's war clothes. Now, they were united rather than opposing.

 

For the first time, Ren felt like a true King with a Queen.

 

The ballroom resumed its bustle and chatter. This time though all eyes were on Rey. The Flower of Theed.

 

Her hand was still clasped in his.

 

Rey flicked her gaze to him and smiled warily.

 

“Aren't you going to say I look beautiful?” She teased.

 

“No.” Rey looked at him again. The teasing had left her eyes and she looked confused. “Beautiful wouldn't be enough to describe how you look.”

 

The blush that he loved so much coloured her cheeks like the pink of her dress.

 

“Good save.” She smiled.

 

“I must know though,” he insisted, “what made you… you hate dresses. You hate fuss. You hate being on display.”

 

Rey nodded her acknowledgement of this. She was looking out over the crowd. The very image of royalty.

 

“I do. But I hate people gawking at you even more. Admit it Ren, no one is even concerned with you now.”

 

Ren looked out. It was true. No-one was looking his way. They wanted to see the beautiful woman at his side.

 

She'd done this… to divert attention from him? To save him from another night of predictable scrutiny?

 

Somehow that meant more to him than if she had dressed up simply to impress the ambassadors and look pretty and his hand tightened around hers until he was concerned he might be hurting her. Except she was clinging just as hard.

 

The night progressed and hours ticked by with many dignitaries paying their respects to them both and showering Rey with compliments. Rey clearly found it uncomfortable but nodded her thanks. There was a great deal of dancing and Ren was sure that he spotted Rey's Resistance friend, Julia or something, giving her a thumbs up.

 

Ren noticed that Rey was glancing out of the window at the sun setting over Naboo. The sky was painted pink like her dress.

 

Ren leant forward. “Shall we take a tour of the gardens?”

 

Rey looked at him. “If we can go to one particular garden...”

 

Ren nodded and they stood.

 

It was hard to slip away. What with the amount of people, some whom Ren recognised and none that Rey did, wishing them a great and mighty reign. Eventually they were out in the gardens and away from the noise. The walk to the labyrinth that led to Rey's garden was quickly undertaken. Anyone might have mistaken them for almost dashing away to the little hidden door.

 

* * *

 

Rey shut the door and checked it was locked three times before she fully relaxed. She turned to face Ren. His mask was off and tossed onto the grass already. The sight of his face after such a long evening was a sight to behold.

 

She felt oddly shy under his scrutiny. She had known that his eyes would have been on her the entire night but now she could see for herself the hunger, the longing and the affection.

 

“Thank you. I know it can't have been easy.” Ren said.

 

He wasn't wrong. Despite it being her idea, Rey had been considering going back on it at least three times. Jessika had spent about two hours making her try on dresses. Some of them had been more sexy than Rey would ever be comfortable wearing (some showed off her _entire_ leg!) and some were so heavy with ornamentation that she could barely stand under the weight of it all. Curling her hair had been another drama and she had sustained a few burns to the back of the neck until Jess had taken over. And she never felt clean when she had make-up on her face.

 

But, when she realized that it had worked and no-one was really paying Ren more attention than was wise, it had been worth it all.

 

To see his eyes now, it was almost a pleasure.

 

“It was nothing.” She waved away.

 

“Although...”

 

“What?” Rey asked.

 

“You don't have to wear those heels anymore. You're clearly not comfortable.”

 

Rey nearly laughed. “Thank the Maker!” She reached under her dress, yanked off the heels and threw them with gusto over the garden wall for good measure.

 

Ren laughed. Not a chuckle or a snort. A full laugh that lit up his face and exposed his not quite even teeth. He looked so boyish and carefree. So different to who he really was. Rey couldn't help but laugh a little too.

 

They chuckled together until it trailed away.

 

“It went well though, didn't it?” Rey asked.

 

“As well as I could have ever hoped. At least they didn't make us dance.” Ren conceded.

 

“Luckily.” Rey sat down on the stone bench beneath the tree. “I've never danced in my life.”

 

“Never?” Ren sounded shocked. Rey shook her head. “Weren't there ever any celebrations on Jakku?”

 

“None that warranted dancing. Besides, if we had a celebration, it was at someone else's expense.” Rey cocked an eyebrow. “Can you dance?”

 

Ren shrugged. “A little.” At the look of shock that clearly took over Rey's features, he looked amused. “What? I was raised a prince after all.”

 

“I just can't imagine you taking dance lessons.”

 

“I didn't enjoy them, believe me. Neither did any of my tutors as I recall.”

 

“I bet.” Rey breathed. Music could be heard from the hall floating out into the garden. A soft melody. A longing that Rey had never felt before took over her.

 

Ren could clearly read it.

 

“Would you like me to show you?”

 

It was a silly idea yet so was the idea of putting on this dress. So was following the Force to Ren's rooms when he had a nightmare. So was excepting his proposal in the first place.

 

Silly ideas never stopped Rey if they felt right.

 

Wordlessly, she stood up and took the hand that Ren offered her. Before they started however, she pulled his gloves off his hands. She wanted to feel as much of him as she could.

 

It was a strange oddly stunted movement. He didn't speak or show her how to move her feet. He just moved slowly and repetitively in a way that Rey could follow easily.

 

They were alone in her garden, the grass cold beneath her bare feet as she danced in the arms of a man with the power to crush worlds and yet the compassion to save a small child. She was wearing a dress made of flowers and petals were gently falling on them from the trees above them. The music was as warm an embrace as Ren's arms around her.

 

Rey found all this melted away into insignificance. She found herself moving naturally and, when Ren lifted her arm, she spun beneath it. Her gown rippled around her and to her eyes the roses on her dress danced with her.

 

The pull of Ren's arm brought her back towards him and felt herself mould her chest against his. He tilted her head back to claim her lips in a kiss as gentle as the petals that grazed her skin from the tree.

 

“Take me to bed, Ren. Make me yours.” The words were out of her mouth before she could even register what she had said. Yet once they were said she felt no desire to pull them back.

 

Ren pulled away and looked stunned. Yet Rey held the gaze.

 

“The wedding-”

 

“I don't want to give you this because of duty. I don't want my virginity to be part of a deal. If you want it, if you want me, then take it now. While it's just us.”

 

Ren was silent for a moment. For that moment, Rey felt the fear of rejection. If he said no…

 

“Go to the apartments. I will follow.”

 

“Come with me.” She implored.

 

Ren shock his head. “It would mean putting the helmet back on. I want you to see only my face for the rest of this night. The mask will have no part in this.”

 

Rey nodded her understanding. “Wait ten minutes. Then follow me.”

 

She ran for the door, unlocked it, took one last look back and then left the garden. She ran through the garden giggling with excitement and nerves.

 

* * *

 

Ren had to put the mask on (to even risk just putting his hood up was too much) and pull back on his gloves. He made his way through some of the more secluded galleries back to his rooms so he would encounter no-one.

 

He entered the apartments and pulled off his mask. He looked at it and for the first time smiled at it with disdain. It had stopped so much. It wouldn't stop this.

 

He threw it as far away from him as it would go. He heard it crash into something. He didn't check to see what.

 

The door to the bedroom was closed. Ren pushed it open.

 

Rey was sat upon the bed. Her gown was spread around her and her hands were on her lap. She looked breathless and the sight of her caused him to lose his own.

 

She hadn't undressed and he was glad of it. He wanted all of this for himself.

 

She rose from the bed to meet him in the middle of the room. The kiss she bestowed on him was oddly chaste and nervous. His hands threaded through her hair and deepened the kiss. He poured as much into it as he could. She accepted with all that she had.

 

Breaking the kiss, he walked around her so he was facing her back with all the little fastenings. With fingers that he forced not to shake, he began to undo them one at a time.

 

His breath of her neck seemed to excite her as she sighed in response every time he saw her hair gently sway under his exhalation. He kissed the back of her neck and relished her taste causing a pretty gasp to leave her.

 

The dress finally became slack and fell into a puddle around Rey's feet. She wasn't wearing a bra and only in soft cotton panties. His hands slid up her sides and covered her pretty tits with his hands, running his thumbs over her soft pink nipples, feeling them pebble beautifully.

 

Rey loved attention to be lavished on her breasts and turned her head to kiss along his jaw, his neck, anywhere she could reach. He met her lips and allowed their tongues to taste. There was nothing so sweet as his beautiful scavenger.

 

He undressed quickly and mainly unaided as Rey was too busy ravished any exposed skin with her hands. His chest received a great deal of attention and he growled lowly when she trailed her blunt nails down his skin.

 

When there was only their respective underwear separating them, Ren picked Rey up and laid her on the bed. She looked divine with her cheeks blooming, her tanned skin flushed, her nipples taut and the material around her sex dark with her dampness. Force, she was sin itself and she didn't even know it.

 

He let himself indulge himself on the view before hooking his fingers into the sides of her knickers and tugging them down her legs. He wanted to bury his face in her curls, taste her sex, to make her wetness more enhanced so it would be easier for her when he finally got around to the act itself. Rey's impatience for him prevented this from happening. His fingers still played a tune along the seam of her lower lips and circled her raised and swollen flesh in a way that had her gasping.

 

He played with her body until she was slick with sweat, damp with her arousal and had patches of saliva from his wet kisses along her breasts, collarbone and stomach. The feel of her small hand wrapping around his erection and guiding it to her centre was Rey's only indication that she was now as ready as she would ever be.

 

He didn't ask the clichés like if she was sure or something that would indicate that she didn't understand the enormity of what they were about to do.

 

Instead, he let the head of his cock rest against her entrance, which made her eyes flutter and catch her lower lip between her teeth.

 

“This might hurt a little. But it will pass.” He promised.

 

She nodded.

 

Pushing forward into her virgin body was the biggest challenge of self control that Ren had ever encountered. The temptation to forgo any attempts at gentleness and just pound her into the mattress reared its head. He was met with the barrier of her hymen and, deciding that quickness might be a little better on this occasion, he surged forward the rest of the way.

 

Rey let out a high-pitched gasped and curled her body around him in response. Ren stayed still within her body to let her adjust. And to allow himself a moment. One wrong move and he could make her first time a comedy of errors.

 

Opening his eyes after a moment, he looked down at the girl beneath him. Any thoughts that might have lingered about being rough vanished as he took in her face. Her face was pink, her eyes were closed and there was a hint of moisture, her lips parted and a look of amazement and concentration on her face.

 

“Does it still hurt?” He whispered.

 

“N-no. Not really. It wasn't so baaad… Oh!” She gave a little sigh as Ren moved his legs a little further apart for better purchase. It caused him to grind a little inside her and it didn't seem unwelcome.

 

Rey's legs raised up and wrapped around his waist with her feet linking just above his buttocks. That and her little nod was her signal that they could continue onwards.

 

He keeps his thrusts deep yet measured. It seems appreciated as Rey gasps with a look of astonishment every time he pushes against her cervix. Like she can't quite believe this was happening or she was feeling this. She was not excessively loud yet her mewls of enjoyment were right in his ear and he wanted more.

 

He feels her getting wetter around him and, Jedi, Sith, Knight, Sovereign, above all else he is still a human man.

 

The speed of his thrusts increases and her mewls turned to moans and gasps. She kept her eyes on him the entire time and damn it, he cannot look away. He doesn't want to. Doesn't want to miss a moment of this.

 

Sitting up and pulling Rey up along with him, the angle rubs a part of Rey that he previously hadn't reached and her gasp of startled pleasure indicates that this is the key to her completion. Pressed against one another, with Rey's legs still wrapped around him, he lays his hands on her hips. With his instruction, she begins to move her hips in a figure of eight motion. It allows her to chase towards her moment of bliss.

 

Their bodies are slick with sweat, it's slipperiness reminding Ren of the shower and he knows he doesn't have long left. Sucking her left nipple into his mouth, he lets his fingers rub against her clit as he renewed the force of his thrusts at that special angle. At that point, all Rey can do is cling on to him and she shudders and cries so wantonly when she finally breaks around him, he lets his own release take him, spilling into her body.

 

They collapsed in an inelegant heap on the bed. They don't say anything. They don't need to.

 

Ren rests his head against her naked breast. He listens to her heart skittering like a womp-rat. Feels her fingers card through his hair.

 

Only one thought is present in his head.

 

_I love you._

 

* * *

 

Poe had been asleep for about an hour when the door to the barracks burst open. Jerking awake, he was confronted with the sight of three armed Stormtroopers and General Hux. He was dragged out of bed and thrown to the ground before he could even demand to know what was going on.

 

“You really never learn, do you Dameron?” Hux tutted. “But then again, I must take some of the blame here. I should have never allowed Ren to agree to an armistice. I should never have allowed Resistance scum into my palace.”

 

“Your palace? I'd love to see Ren hear you say that.” Poe scoffed, still confused but not above using snark. A swift kick from a Stormtrooper caused him to bend double and hold his tongue.

 

“Very amusing(!) I wonder if you will be laughing quite so much when Ren discovers the General's messages to your little scavenger friend?”

 

Poe went cold all over. Rey…

 

“She's innocent in this!” Poe yelled. “It was all my doing.”

 

“That I don't doubt.” Hux snarled. “Take him to a cell.”

 

Poe could only shout his threats of bloody injury at Hux as he was pulled from the floor and led away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn't be Beauty and the Beast without strife and challenges....
> 
> Please let me know what you think. This has been the chapter I've worked hardest on. Plus I'm ill and had the most horrendous day at work so I could use some feedback to cheer me up. 
> 
> I love you all!


	24. A Message of Foreboding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys. 
> 
> Please forgive the wait. I needed a bit of a rest as I felt my writing was suffering and this chapter is one I wanted to get right. Thank you so much for your patience and continued love. 
> 
> Massive thank you for Yarra for the fab manip of Rey in her flower dress. it's just what I imagined and thank you so much. Have a look and send her love. 
> 
> http://buiana.tumblr.com/post/151720697220/the-descendants-by-waterlilyrose-for-chapter-23
> 
> This chapter has been split in two as I felt it needs a lot of work. Plus my original one came to about 8000 words so best to split it in two rather than keep people waiting. I wrote this to Birdy - Strange Birds.
> 
> Enjoy

Rey woke to the gentle sensations of a delicate pressing of lips against her throat. She sighed yet didn't open her eyes. She had slept in an exhausted state and her limbs were heavy. There was also an aching sensation between her legs which was odd yet not unpleasant. Indeed Rey rather liked it.

 

Last night was… incredible. Kylo was incredible. She knew that there was probably nothing extraordinary about what they did. They were hardly swinging from a chandelier. Indeed, some people might scoff at just how tame they were. Rey didn't care about some people. She had been right, she'd been so very right, that losing her innocence to him was a good idea. Firstly because he would look after her virginity and not see it as a prize. Secondly because the act had been just about them. She had heard a few stories of women having to lie on a white sheet during their first time and present the evidence afterwards. The idea of having to hand over a sheet with her virgin blood on to Hux made her feel sick. Granted, she was confident that Kylo would never have allowed it but the fact it was no longer even a possibility made her feel a bit happier.

 

The pressing sensation continued around her neck to her ear and she let out a sigh that turned to a gasp when Kylo sucked just right on the spot behind her earlobe. His hair tickled her cheek and the smell of it wafted to her nose.

 

Rey let her eyes flutter open and pressed her lips to his forehead before he surged up and caught them in his own lips.

 

Rey would have spent the rest of her life just letting Ren's hands slide everywhere he could reach as long as he never stopped kissing her. When he slid into her, it felt almost accidental but so natural. Like he belonged there. The pinching sensation that had occurred last night was nearly gone altogether and now she could just enjoy the wonderful fullness and rubbing sensations that occurred deep inside her. Could enjoy watching his expressions. How his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes would roll back a little when he moved his hips just a certain way. To watch him in the throes of ecstasy did things to her. Things that helped her reach her precipice.

 

She couldn't keep quiet she soon discovered and Ren didn't seem to want her to be. It also wasn't likely when Ren reached down and rubbed her just right on her raised flesh. Penetration was wonderful especially at a certain angle but nothing compared to rubbing the pearl of flesh outside her body.

 

She eventually found herself shuddering and her back bowing back under her release as he growled into her throat and trembled with his own.

 

He pulled out of her body and fell to her side. There was a wetness seeping out of her that felt dirty yet decadent. Proof of his desire for her.

 

_Mine. Mine. Only mine._

 

“Are you okay?” He whispered.

 

_Yours. Yours. Only yours._

 

“Yes.” She breathed.

 

There wasn't anything else that needed saying. After a while, his breathing went steady again.

 

Rey contemplated waking him but decided against it. How many years since he had experienced a decent lie in? And the next few days were probably going to drive them to exhaustion.

 

She crept out of bed and snuck into the fresher. A part of her didn't want to wash away the evidence of last night. She wanted to feel it linger on her skin forever. But there would be time enough to replace it.

 

She used the fresher and dried off, getting changed and plaiting her hair. She was just moving to the kitchenette when there was a brisk knock on the door.

 

Crossing the hallway quickly, she opened it.

 

She was greeted by Captain Phasma flanked by four Stormtroopers. All were armed.

 

“Can I help you?” She asked. Her eyes looked at the weapons gripped in the hands of the back up.

 

“You are to come with me.” Phasma's tone was odd. Her usual authority was clear yet there seemed to be an air of chiding in her voice. Like she was exasperated with Rey. Or disappointed.

 

“Me? What for?”

 

“I am not at liberty to divulge such information. General Hux requires your presence immediately.”

 

“Well, General Hux should have come here himself then, shouldn't he?” Rey went to close the door. Phasma's foot stopped the door from moving an inch.

 

“Girl, don't make this harder on yourself than it already is.” Her voice was more like she was imparting advice than a warning.

 

“Make what harder? What's going on?”

 

“Oh please yourself.” Phasma sighed and made a gesture. Rey's arms were caught by two Stormtroopers.

 

“Get off! Get _off_!” Rey kicked viciously and struggled but against two armed guards she was outnumbered.

 

As she was dragged off towards the council chambers, she could hear the confused call of “Rey?” emitting from the bedroom she had left Ren asleep in before the chamber door was closed by a Stormtrooper and she was half dragged, half carried towards the council rooms.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey stopped struggling after a good while of doing just that. No sooner was she in the council chambers that she was dumped almost on the floor. Looking around, she saw Poe Dameron on his knees and sporting a nasty cut above his head.

 

“Poe!” Rey crawled to his side and caught hold of his face to inspect the damage which only inspired a hiss from him, “Maker, what's happened? Why have they done this?”

 

“Rey. It's fine. I deserve it.” His voice sounded almost exhausted.

  
“What-”

 

“I'm so sorry. I should have been more careful.”

 

“Your ability to act in a sensible fashion is indeed questionable.” Rey spun around at General Hux's crisp tone. Upon seeing Poe, she had not noticed the red-haired individual standing at the other side of the room. “But it does prove how an alliance was the Resistance can never be.”

 

“Why is he hurt?” Rey snarled, her patience fast running out, if not already gone. “Why am I here? What the kriff is wrong this time?”

 

It was a day of interruptions. Before Hux could utter a word (although whether he would have deigned to reply was questionable) there was a crash. Rey could see through the open doorway that a Stormtrooper now lay on the floor and was groaning quite pitifully. It seemed that he had been thrown against the wall.

 

Ren stormed into the council rooms with all the presence and barely contained fury that had built his infamy.

 

“What is the meaning of this?” Ren snarled at Hux. His voice modulator was barely needed; it was obvious that his voice was dripping with malice.

 

“Calm yourself Ren. I had good reason for this.” Hux intoned.

 

“Reason to drag my wife-to-be from her apartments by force?” Ren snarled. “By the way, there are four Stormtroopers outside that probably need medical attention.”

 

Another whimper from the fallen Stormtrooper in the doorway confirmed this quite well.

 

“See for yourself.” Hux shrugged pressing a comm unit. A hologram appeared before them all.

 

Rey recognised the person in the grainy blue image. She had spoken to her before. Indeed, the speaker was addressing her.

 

All of a sudden, it all made sense to Rey and a sense of foreboding stole over her.

 

“ _Hello Rey. Thank you for the message. It meant a great deal to me. I'm so happy to hear that you find living with… with my son to be pleasing. I'm sure he feels a great deal for you. He's a fool if he doesn't. You're right, of course. There is still light in him. I know it. I long to see him. I miss him every day but if this is as close as I can get to him then I will accept it. I'm grateful to you Rey. Never forget that. And please persevere. I believe one day we can be a family again. If you ever need me, ask Poe and I will find a way of contacting you. You have friends Rey. Never forget.”_

 

The image flickered and disappeared.

 

Silence hung in the room. It was a mixture of stunned and disgusted. Disgusted by Hux and stunned by Ren.

 

Rey looked back to Poe. He had his head hung low. He looked filled with self-loathing.

 

“Well, what do you have to say to this?” Hux barked at Rey.

 

Rey said nothing. Her eyes were on Ren. The helmet hid his face. She tried to reach out to him through the Force but all she could get was a brick wall. The residue of disbelief was all that was left.

 

“What is this?” He finally rasped. His face was still trained on the space the image of his mother had occupied.

 

“What does it look like?” Hux demanded. “She's been corresponding with the enemy. And the pilot has been their go-between. I should never have let this armistice happen. We should have crushed the Resistance when we had the chance. Before they succeed in crushing us. Maker, who knows how far they would have got if we hadn't-”

 

“What are you talking about, Hux!?” Poe lifted his head and seemed to have found his voice again. “It's a mother trying to know her daughter-in-law! Rey just wants to know the family she could have!”

 

“Shut it, Dameron!” Hux snarled.

 

“I said,” Ren spoke again, quiet yet with barely concealed fury “What. Is. This?”

 

Rey closed her eyes and sighed. “I'm sorry.”

 

“This lies with me, Ren! She did noth-”

 

Poe plea on Rey's behalf was cut off by Ren's hand shooting out in Poe's direction. The Force push knocked Poe back with such intensity that Poe groaned from the impact.

 

Rey cried out but Ren didn't even look at her. His objective was Poe.

 

Rey couldn't let him hurt Poe. Throwing herself between them, she held up her hands.

 

“NO! Don't hurt him.”

 

“He's a traitor. Just like you!” Hux spat.

 

“I'm not a traitor! I just wanted to know her.” Rey turned back to the towering male before her. He wasn't making any advance towards her but she knew that she couldn't protect Poe indefinitely. “Please. Listen to me-”

 

“'Listen to you'?” Ren repeated. “It appears that I have done too much of that already.” His voice was low and seemed to tremble. “You've betrayed me.”

 

“I haven't!” Rey hated the tears that sprung to her eyes but wouldn't let them fall. “I've never had a family. And I come here and you have have one ready-made who you never speak to! What did you expect me to do Ren? Turn her away?”

 

“No. And that's what he was counting on!” He snarled, pointing at Poe.

 

“His allegiance is the Resistance. You always knew that. He will always serve the General. But please I'm begging you don't hurt him. Just let him go.”

 

“You stupid girl!” Hux cried. “Do you honestly think we will allow treason to pass without punishment?”

 

“Why should I? Why shouldn't I send him back to that woman in pieces?” Ren demanded.

 

Rey reached out with everything she had through the Force. “Because if you do I will never forgive you.”

 

“What is that to us?” Hux sneered.

 

Ren was silent. She wished beyond everything that she could look into his eyes.

 

“Dameron.” Ren addressed. His eyes were still staring through the mask at Rey. “You have until dusk to get as far away from Naboo as you possibly can. I will then send out my squadron to come after you.”

 

“You… you can't be serious!” Hux hissed.

 

“How is that mercy?” Rey cried.

 

“Oh it's mercy.” Ren replied. “I rarely give anyone a running start.”

 

Hux spluttered. “You can't let him go! This is-”

 

“This is politics, Hux. Time that you learnt that, I think.” Ren replied.

 

“I can't allow-”

 

“And yet you will. For you see, this is my reign. My rule. Your power only stretches as far as I allow it. And don't forget it.”

 

There was a new coldness in his tone. A hardness that she had not heard before. A part of Rey rejoiced that Ren was finally seeing Hux's desire for power for what it was. Another louder part of her felt the trickling of dread that the man she had come to know was slowly slipping from her grip.

 

Ren looked at Dameron, his fury palpable even now. “Make use of your time. For I will be waiting.”

 

Rey wanted to run after him yet felt compelled to stay with Poe to ensure his safety. And also there was the terrible sensation as she watched him turn his back to her that while she was the one to threaten to never forgive him, it was her that was in the greatest risk of never being forgiven.

 

 

***

 

Rey stayed at Poe's side even as he was escorted back to the hanger.

 

“You don't have to follow me Rey.” He consoled.

 

“Yes. I do.” Rey stated. “I won't sleep easy with the knowledge that you are safe unless I actually see you leave unharmed.”

 

Poe didn't seem to have a decent argument for that so said nothing.

 

They were greeted by Jess and Finn waiting in the hanger. They both bounded to their feet upon seeing the two.

 

“Poe! What happened?” Jess cried with Finn exclaiming “What have they done to you?” upon seeing the bloody forehead that Poe now sported.

 

Rey turned to the Stormtroopers. “Wait outside.” They didn't move. “Oh for the love of… there is nowhere for us to escape to. And you'd be right outside the door.”

 

The guards clearly didn't want to let Rey out of their sight (her status as the ruler's beloved seemed a little shaky at the moment) but didn't want to witness a distasteful tearful goodbye either.

 

They left them alone.

 

“We have to go Jess.” Poe explained. “The armistice… it's well and truly over.”

 

“What? But the wedding-”

 

“If we don't go now, our lives are forfeit.” Poe stressed. Jess looked stunned then straightened her shoulders.

 

“Best get packing then.” She sighed.

 

Finn gawked at Poe. “Poe…” He looked like he wanted to plead with him for any number of pointless things. All that could come out was a raspy: “What about us?”

 

Poe lifted his hand and cupped Finn's cheek. There was no bravado left in Poe's features now. He looked tired and pained.

 

“Let me come with you.” Finn blurted out.

 

Rey could only stare at the two.

 

“Finn, I'm a marked man. They will come after me-”

 

“Then they will have to come after us both. I have to do what's right. And this is what's right.” Finn proclaimed.

 

“Finn-”

“No Poe! I can't let you do this alone. And what's keeping me here? I'm a traitor. I never want anything to do with the First Order. The Resistance is as good an option as any other. It could be a fresh start for me. I could be the man I want to be.”

 

“But to leave all you know-”

 

“- will be easy if it's for you. I love you.”

 

It seemed almost to slip out by accident. Yet Finn makes no attempt to take the words back. Poe suddenly smiles and he looks almost boyish again. Rey suddenly feels as though she's imposing on something profoundly personal.

 

Poe kissed Finn gently and nodded. “Okay. Come with us.”

 

There was a look of true joy on Finn's face which slipped away when he looked at Rey. Throughout all this, her vision had began to blur under an onslaught of unshed tears. She dragged them back kicking and screaming but the look of anguish on her face must be clear to see.

 

Finn stepped up to her and caught around her. She hugged her friend with as much force as she could. Not wanting to let go but knowing she had to. For his sake and for hers.

 

“I don't want to leave you here Rey.” He whispered.

 

“You have to. You're right; there's nothing here for you.”

 

“But with him-”

 

“I made a choice. A promise. I have to keep my word.”

 

“Stuff your word!” Finn pulled back and took hold of her forearms as though to shake her. “You might be in danger now.”

 

“He won't hurt me. I'm too valuable.” Her reasoning was clinical. There had been a time only twenty-four hours ago when she would have argued that she was safe because Ren cared for her. In his anger, she now wasn't so confident. But she couldn't show that to her friends.

 

Poe reached into his pocket. He bought out a small circular device. He placed it into Rey's hand.

 

“Take this. This is tracker. If you are ever in danger or feel under threat, push the button. It will beep on my side. I have the twin device. We will come for you without delay.”

 

Rey looked at it. And at her friend. All her friends. The first and best friends she had ever had.

 

She was going to lose them all. And be left here with a man she cared for deeper than she had ever imagined but who she could not support in the way he wanted.

 

There was quiet amongst them all. As no-one had any idea what to say to make this easier. So they said nothing at all.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Rey watched the x-wing disappear over Naboo from her position in the hanger. Poe had urged her not to watch them leave as it would probably just upset her but she wouldn't rest until she had seen them fly safely away. The tracker was cold and solid in her hand all the while.

 

The urge to break down and sob was stronger than it had ever been but Rey refused. She wouldn't show an ounce of weakness in front of the Stormtroopers.

 

She considered running to the garden and locking the door. But what good would that do? She would only have to come out again eventually.

 

It felt like the palace that she had once been happy in had reverted back from the spell it had been under. The gardens and the hanger had given the grand marble cavern a heart and a sense of belonging in Rey. Now it was like it had been stripped away.

 

This palace was her prison. A gilded, shining prison but a prison nonetheless.

 

She walked back to her apartments as a prison would return to a cell.

 

The room was nearly silent when Rey entered and for a moment she wondered if Ren was even here. Yet the pulsing feelings of anger, confusion and resentment were palpable.

 

The back of Ren's head greeted her in the living room. His helmet was lying amongst a variety of broken crockery in the kitchen and the coffee table was overturned.

 

“How could you?” His voice was low. “I thought I could trust you.”

 

Rey wanted to plead that he could trust her and it had never been about betrayal. But she knew it would fall on deaf ears.

 

“I'm sorry. I did what I thought was right.”

 

“That woman,” he gritted out, “you know that I have nothing to do with her-”

 

“That _woman_ is your _mother_. And she's as much a victim of all of this as you are.” Rey walked to the window.

 

“You have no idea about the goings on of my family!”

 

“No. Believe it or not, that was actually what I was trying to understand.” Rey's grief at losing her friends had turned her heartbreak over the days events to cold bluntness. Yes, she was probably far too optimistic about how Ren would take her having contact but she'd paid the price. Her friends were gone. It was debatable whether she would ever see them again. He'd already punished her more than she could have ever imagined. Anything else would be tame.

 

“My family is lost. My mother I can never see again. My father...”

 

“Dead. By your hand.”

 

There was silence. Rey wouldn't turn around. This had been hanging over her for far too long. The images she had seen the night she had touched the saber had been pushed back and blocked out while she had tried to bond with Ren. But sometimes she would look at him and for a split second his face would be lit by a red glow and she would see the stricken and dying face of a man she never knew and yet is certain that she would have grown to love.

 

Han Solo had tried to save his son. And he'd died for his efforts. Of course she had never dwelt upon it. It would have driven her mad with the foreshadowing of her own actions.

 

Enough. This wasn't a story you told over the camp-fire in Endor. This was her life.

 

“Why did you do it? Why did you kill your father?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Feedback is love!


	25. Tracking the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I'm always overwhelmed by the support this story gets. I never anticipated it getting half as much in this beautiful fandom. There are so many beautiful fanfics on here and I'm truly honoured. 
> 
> I am desperately looking forward to a holiday at the end of the month. I haven't had one in nearly a year and you can imagine how tired I am as it's all I ever complain about. I'm going to rest but also do some serious writing too. 
> 
> I wrote this to 'Say Something' by A Great Big World ft Christina Aguilera
> 
> This one... well, it had to be done. There is a turning point in every Beauty and the Beast style story.
> 
> Here's mine...

Rey turned to face Ren. The man that she had promised to marry. Had promised to reign alongside. The face of that man was now stark white and his eyes wide with shock.

 

“What… what is this?”

 

“This is the talk we should have had that first night I saw your face. We should have done this weeks ago. That's as much my fault as yours. But I want answers.”

 

Ren stood up and strode to the other side of the room as though desperate to escape her questions.

  
“I think I should be the one asking questions here, don't you?” He demanded. “After all, I'm not the one who went behind your back-”

 

“No. You just sent my only friends away without even hearing me out.” Rey snapped. “You had a chance to ask me questions. You chose to make a show of punishing me instead.”

 

Ren was silent a moment. “I can't have traitors to the First Order within my walls. It wasn't about punishing you.”

 

“It was just a nice bonus.” Rey said.

 

There was a look on Ren's face like he had been cast adrift. A part of Rey would have liked to believe that maybe it hadn't been intentional to hurt her but the part of Rey that was too old for her young years had already decided that it didn't matter.

 

“I'm angry at you.” Ren whispered. “Furious. But I didn't do that to hurt you.”

 

“It makes no difference now. Poe's gone. Jess and Finn too. I'm alone again in a palace where I have no allies. No friends.” Rey felt a stab of compassion at the look that flashed across his eyes at her description of her situation. For by describing it like that she had dismissed him as nothing more than a jailer. Not a lover or even a friend. “It's irrelevant. I've received retribution for what I did. Explaining myself would be pointless now as you won't listen anyway. It's you I want answers from now. Now, answer me:” She moved in closer to him. “Why did you kill Han Solo?”

 

“This… this has nothing to do-”

 

“It has everything to do with this. And even if it didn't I need answers.”

 

“This happened eight years before you even came here!” Ren shouted. He was aiming for trying to scare her off the topic; he just looked scared himself. “It's done. Finished. Over with! Why would you want to bring that up?!”

 

“Because I need to know-”

 

“ _-know what-”_

 

“ _-whether I'm going to one day end up dead too!”_

 

She could hear every tiny noise in the apartment. The dripping of the tap. The tick of the clock. The faint hum of the generators. Everything amplified in her ears under the complete silence that overtook them both.

 

“I would never hurt you. Even in the beginning… I would never…” Ren couldn't seem to go on. Rey hated herself in that moment. She knew that any flesh wound that could be inflicted wouldn't have hurt him as much as her words just had.

 

Ren sank down onto the floor. His back was against a wall and his long legs bent. He reminded Rey of a small child.

 

“How can I explain something I no longer understand instead?” He murmured.

 

Rey sat down opposite him. Both of them on the floor. Literally both at rock bottom.

 

“We weren't close.” Ren sighed. “Not ever. There was a time when I was small when I idolised him. He was my hero. I wanted to be him: handsome, confident, brave. I even liked the roguish side of him. He had this swagger that just emanated from him. But I was always a disappointment to him. I wasn't an attractive child. I was shy. I was awkward. There was a lot that scared me. I've never felt brave. Not ever. I knew all this and I knew he knew. I knew in the way he would look at me when he thought I didn't notice. He looked at me like I was a stranger.

 

“I learnt about what was going to happen to me when I was ten. My mother sat me down and explained. He wasn't there. He was never really there. I stopped trying to reach out to him. Sometimes he would then try and reach out to me but it never lasted. It would end in an argument that would end up with me destroying something. I grew to hate him. I grew to hate them both. I couldn't believe their stupidity. Their arrogance. To think that they could get away with bringing a child into this mess.

 

“I was always angry but more than anything I wanted them to keep trying. To not be frightened by my rage. I wanted him to cuff me round the head and tell me that he didn't care. That I was still his son. I wanted her to catch around me and squeeze me until I couldn't fight anymore. They didn't do that. My mother, always a fighter and a commander, couldn't bring herself to fight me. My father would just board a ship with that damn Wookie and go off to rip off some bounty hunter and then run for his life.

 

“Then when I was nineteen, before my twentieth birthday, before the mask went on… I met someone.”

 

There were tears in his eyes. Yet a look that indicated that it was prompted by a rare moment of happiness.

 

“Who?” Rey asked.

 

“A woman. A girl really. She couldn't have been more than twenty-two. Old beyond her years yet strangely innocent.”

 

It was a testament to the fact that even in her anger she couldn't ignored the feeling of her lungs squeezing painfully at Ren describing another woman in a voice of reverence.

 

“She was a courtesan in Coruscant. I spent some time with her. I want to feel something before I shut myself away. It was only meant to be a one-off. Something to remember with fondness and reverence when I had nothing else good to strengthen me.”

 

“It wasn't a one-off?”

 

“I didn't intend it to be after I left her. I wanted to help her. I wanted to have her in my life.”

 

“Did you love her?”

 

Ren sniffed. “No.” There was an air of certainty in his voice. “I cared for her but it wasn't love.”

 

The pressure on her lungs eased a little.

 

“I went back for her. I wanted her in my life. She seemed to like me for who I was. And if she didn't… maybe she could come to. I never found her. She was dead by the time I went to get her.”

 

Rey wondered if she should ask what had happened to the girl. But the look of renewed pain on Ren's face showcased to her that it didn't matter if it were from illness or attack. The result was all the same.

 

“Rey, I was so angry. I felt so cheated. She was gone and… I don't even know if the name she gave me was her real one. She said, 'They call me Cora'. For all I know that might be short for Coruscant. I never even found her body. I could even bury her. I grieved. For a girl who had shown me more unbiased affection in three days than I had known in three years.

 

“I turned to training as a release. The stronger I was in the Force, the more control I thought I had. I was powerful. Even more so at times than my… than Skywalker. My mother tried to instil some maternal advice. Ha!” His laugh was bitter and almost spiteful. “The great General Organa trying to play mother at long last. She was piss poor at it.” Rey scrunched up her face and Ren saw it. “You may idolise the idea of family, Rey. I can't even blame you for it. But having a family doesn't mean you know what to do when times get hard.”

 

“You just said yourself that you wanted her to try!”

 

“That was then. I was a different person after _her_. I didn't want affection anymore. I didn't want it and I didn't need it. Affection was poison to me. There are always conditions on affection. Conditions I could never live up to. I still can't live up to.”

 

Rey would show how the barb felt unjust to her. She had given him more affection than she had given anyone in her young life.

 

“I studied the Force. I wanted to learn about my grandfather. I wanted to understand why I had to live behind a mask for myself. What had driven a man who had everything at his fingertips to lose it all in the space of a few moments and then make sure that he would live a life as a walking, talking prison?

 

“Your family came into play there.”

 

Ren looked at Rey and there it was. A coldness that never thawed. It was the first time they had ever discussed the Kenobi role in his fate. Yet Rey had a feeling he had much to say.

  
She would listen.

 

“Go on.” She prompted hoarsely.

 

“Your grandfather…. He had designs on my grandmother.”

 

Rey shock her head. “That's not true.”

 

“It's my _turn_ to talk.” He snarled. He paused for a moment and breathed in deeply. His head rested against the wall and he closed his eyes. “My grandmother… she was a truly beautiful woman. Much admired. The true definition of what a woman can be. If your grandfather didn't love her as you claim, he was either a saint or a fool. And I know him to be neither.

 

“My grandfather was much like me. He was passionate and jealous. Padme was his joy. He would have moved heaven and earth if she so much as nodded. Oddly, so would Obi Wan. He was always there. Always ready to assist. Ready to stoke the fire of distrust between them.

 

“They were the two people my grandfather loved most. His wife and the man who was both teacher and brother. Whether the crossover of feelings was imaginary or built on fact doesn't matter. The affection that fuelled him was his undoing.”

 

Ren leant his elbows on his knees.

 

“I'm not a typical Jedi. All those rules of serenity, peace and no anger; that could never be me. Not while affection poisoned my veins. It had been Vader's demise. Even in the end, he sacrificed himself for Skywalker.

 

“If I could harden myself against that affection and if I could allow myself to cut off the side to me that was so disgustingly… weak…. Then I could be the Jedi and the ruler that I was born to be.”

 

“My initial plan was to shut them out. I refused to see them even as they lived under this roof. My mother was stationed on the other side of the palace. I had troops prevent her coming within a wing of me. If they had just accepted my wishes…”

 

His eyes squeezed shut as though he was grimacing.

 

“What happened?” Rey whispered.

 

“I was on the new base for the Stormtroopers: Starkiller Base. I could sense him before I even saw him. I was on a bridge. He called my name.”

 

Rey knew immediately what name he meant.

 

“He looked old. Tired. So different. And I looked different. He asked me to take off the mask. We were alone. I saw no harm. He'd seen it already.

 

“I tried to goad him. To get him to leave. Like he always did. He was good at that – leaving. He was _meant_ to leave. He was _meant_ to give up. He wasn't meant to look so _sad_. He wasn't meant to tell me that he _missed_ me. He was meant to be abrasive and proud. That was what was _supposed_ to happen!”

 

Rey's face was wet and Ren's wasn't much better.

 

“I could feel everything I had worked so hard for just slipping away. I hadn't gotten stronger through distance. I had just begun to forget what it felt like. I was all coming screaming back and felt myself weaken again. I couldn't weaken again!”

 

Rey closed her eyes and the remaining tears fell. She didn't want to hear. Yet she needed to.

 

“It was almost too easy. The act itself. All I had to do was turn the saber on. It was the work of a second. And it was done. His face… there was shock. Surprise. Pain. He never looked older than the moment before he fell. And he never looked at me with such affection. With almost sorrow. Not at what I'd done… but what he hadn't. Then he fell. And he was gone.”

 

Silence reigned as Rey tried to stifle her tears and Ren seemed to be fighting back the memory with all his strength.

 

“I was meant to be stronger. I was meant to be better for it. But I wasn't. I was disgusted with myself. I'd just made the mistake of my life. And there was no-one to blame this time but me.

 

“Affection was easier to reject then. Simply because I understood what my parents always knew but I never had: that I was unworthy of love.

 

“I sent my mother away. I never saw her again. My uncle departed for a life of solitude before I got back. I destroyed my father's portrait. The world thinks I've moved on. But I remember. I have _always_ remembered.

 

“So now you know. Now you know.”

 

Rey tried to steady her breathing. Tried to process what she'd just been told. It made sense yet it didn't make it easier to hear.

 

“You sent your mother away… to protect her?”

 

“Not protect her. I barely could live with killing one parent. I wasn't going to risk a second.” His voice sounded more clinical. More calm. More resigned.

 

“Then why add to the pain?”

 

“I was _saving_ her pain. I'd killed the love of her life. Why in the Maker's name would she ever want to see me again?”

 

“You're her son.”

 

“I _was_ her son. I don't know what the kriff I am now.”

 

“So let me guess: you rejected her rather than risk her rejecting you?”

 

“What difference does it make?”

 

“It makes all the difference.” Rey inhaled deeply. “Where do you stand on affection now?”

 

“I can hardly say. It's fairly evident that I am still capable of it.” Ren breathed out. “You weren't supposed to happen.”

 

“You would rather live alone even now?”

 

“It's what I deserve but I can't. Not anymore.” Ren edged forward on his knees. “I would never hurt you. I'm not capable of hurting you. If you believe anything I say… believe that.”

 

Rey stared at him numbly. “I do believe you. And I believe some good can still come of this.”

 

His eyes showed a moment of astonishment.

 

“I'm not saying I forgive it. I'm not saying I will ever fully accept it. But on some level I can… maybe… understand it.” Rey swallowed. “I lived long enough on Jakku to know the lengths that survival requires. And, flawed as you were, you were trying to survive.”

 

Ren looked like he may fall over and given thanks to whoever had sent Rey to him. But she wasn't finished.

 

“This is because it's not my forgiveness you need. It's Leia's.”

 

Ren looked at Rey with disbelief.

 

“The General can never-”

 

“That whole reason why we are even in this situation is because she reached out. She wants to see you. She wants to know you. She wants you to be happy. Those are not the actions of a woman who has given you up.”

 

“She can't. She can never...” Ren trailed off before shaking his head. “I've made my bed. It's the way it has to be.”

 

“Is this because you don't think you will receive forgiveness? Or because you're frightened you will?”

 

“I have built a life now. It may not be much but it is mine. How can I escape the past if I am permanently reminded of it? This is my path.”

 

“Your mother doesn't want to punish you.”

  
“How can you know that?” Ren asked.

 

Rey paused. “What could she possibly do to you that you haven't done to yourself a thousand times over already?”

 

Ren was silent a moment. Then shock his head. “I can't.”

 

Rey looked at him a long moment. “And I can't support this. I can't be seen to agree with the First Order. It's wrong. You've lost control of a galaxy that was once yours. This is Hux's galaxy now. You have no say in even your own wedding.”

 

Ren didn't even appear surprised. He merely stared back at her. Like he understood what she accused Hux of. And no longer cared.

 

“I have given you so many opportunities to leave.” Ren whispered. “I warned you that if you ever surrendered to me, to us, that if you were to give yourself to me completely, I would not be at liberty to offer you a way out again.”

 

“I know this. I will keep my promise. But I will never do anything to help the First Order. It stokes the hate in you. The darkness. I must live with that because I must.”

 

Rey turned away from Ren to walk away when he caught her arm.

 

“I'm still the same man I was this morning. Nothing has truly changed.”

 

Rey looked at him. “No. That's what makes it worse.”

 

“You've always known I was Kylo Ren.”

 

“Yes. And yet… these past weeks… I've known you in my heart by another name. Ben Solo.”

 

Ren's grip tightened on her arm before he let go.

 

“Ben Solo died on that bridge with his father. He's been dead for years.”

 

“Then please,” Rey could no longer control the tremble of her voice, “let me grieve him.”

 

Rey ran to the bedroom they shared and slammed the door. The tears came in choking gasps as she sank onto the bed.

 

* * *

 

Ren considered breaking something. Like a bone or something. It would distract him from the pain that had brought him to his knees.

 

He was losing her. She was slipping out of his reach and there was nothing he could do.

 

The knowledge that she was staying purely on the word of a promise and maybe some lingering affection was the harshest blow he had ever received. Her heartbreak at the life she was forced to live was seeping through the Force like waves.

 

He clutched his head and thumped his fist to his temple.

 

_Make it stop!_

 

He wasn't sure how long he had been left alone when a door opened. He turned around expecting to see Rey.

 

The tiny form of Maz greeted him.

 

It had been so long since she had come to call on him that he had forgotten her ability to see him unmasked for a moment.

 

“How did you...” He started.

 

“I sensed your distress. And hers.” She said in a voice that brokered no judgement nor pity.

 

Maz walked to his side. Sitting down on the floor and with Maz standing, they were the most level they had ever been.

 

“Hux has erected a forcefield around the palace. We can leave but will now need approval to re-enter the palace.”

 

Ren could only nod. He should be indignant that the decision had been made without him. Instead, it hardly mattered anymore. He hadn't been the true ruler for many years. He didn't know how any more.

 

He was weak. Pathetic. A failure.

 

If that was him as a ruler, what would he be like as a husband?

 

“I don't know what to do Maz.”

 

“She will stay with you regardless.”

 

“I don't want her to stay _regardless_. I want her to stay because she wants to.” Ren admitted.

 

“She has always had allegiance that sways to the Resistance.” Maz said matter of factly. “But… there is a way to give her a last choice.”

 

Ren looked at Maz and then at what she was holding.

 

“Where did you-”

 

“A good question. For another time. Take it and use it. But be prepared for her decision. Because it will be her true one.”

 

Ren took what she offered to him. Stared at it.

 

He would get his answer. And he already knew in his heart what it will be.

 

* * *

 

Rey woke to darkness stealing into her room. She blinked and registered her stinging eyes. She must have fallen into an exhausted sleep. The knowledge of what she was waking up to made her close her eyes.

 

Then she realised what had woken her up.

 

There was a beeping sound coming from her pocket. Fishing into her kaftan pants, she pulled out the object.

 

It was Poe's tracker. And it was beeping.

 

Rey remembered his words. “If you are in danger, it will beep at my side.”

 

It was beeping from hers. He was in danger.

 

A surge of action caught hold of her. Dropping to her knees, she fished her staff from under her bed. Throwing open the window, she climbed down the walls, much as she did her first day in the palace.

 

The tracker beeped louder as she moved through the grounds. It must be guiding her.

 

Taking off with a sprint, she ran at a pace reminiscent to when she had fled the palace that night she had fought Bazine.

 

The forcefield let her pass without incident. It was the getting back in that Hux was going to monitor.

 

Running so fast her legs ached, all her desperation and anger, cultivated to propel herself forward to where her friends were. She couldn't let anything happen to them.

 

Sweat pouring down her face as the beeping came to a crescendo.

 

It was here.

 

Rey looked around. There was only forest around her. No sign of life anywhere.

 

Then a flashing device caught her eye.

 

Poe's tracker was sitting beside a tree. It was on top of a soft material bag. Rey approached and picked the bag up. Inside the bag was all her clothing that Ren had made for her.

 

She didn't understand. And then she understood all too well.

 

Spinning around, she looked back at the palace. The forcefield stopped her getting back in. She could call… but she wouldn't be answered.

 

Ren had given her one last choice.

 

And she'd made her choice without even realising it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always love feedback but I would plead for any comments you think to give on this one. I poured everything into it.
> 
> The is a Beauty and the Beast inspiration story and in the original story they have to be seperated. Besides this is still the Star Wars universe and Kylo has done some pretty terrible things. Besides, Rey is too strong to ever let the First Order and Hux dictate her life.
> 
> Remember: after the rain there is the rainbow. To quote our favourite useless radar technician. (Is it wrong that even in the jumpsuit, wig and glasses... I still would)


	26. They Can Read All About It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait. It's not been an easy few weeks for me and even now I'm bone-tired. I'm sorry if people found the last chapter a bit depressing but I am determined to be committed to the true Beauty and the Beast story. There's gonna be a happy ending though. Maybe my current psyche made it more dark than I originally intended. 
> 
> Ah well...
> 
> I wrote this to Emili Sande's 'Read All About It' about Rey's thoughts on Kylo.

Rey spent a few moments simply staring up at the palace she had just vacated. Had just run from blindly. Rey cursed her stupidity.

 

Of course Poe and Finn weren't here. She had watched them fly away into the sky. And Poe would never press the button on the tracker on his side because what would Rey ever be able to do? Force user or not, she was woefully under-armed.

 

Rey spent about ten minutes desperately trying to run at the shields. It proved pointless as they kept pushing her back and on one occasion the force of it nearly sent her flying through the air. She circled the perimeter looking for something, anything, that might indicate a flaw in the system so she could get back inside. She screamed at the sky in hopes of Ren maybe hearing her.

 

_Let me back in! You tricked me! You made me believe…. Don't do this!_

 

All pointless. It was just a loud echoing noise in a forest that wasn't listening.

 

Rey sank down onto the grass and tried to steady her breathing.

 

She couldn't get back in… because she'd left.

 

She'd left him. The one thing that she'd vowed never to do. Even in her anger, her fury at him, she wouldn't have left him. She hated that she had lost Poe but she'd known the risks when she had contacted the General in the first place. Ren had been kind to her, kinder than any human being had ever been, and she'd tried to return the favour. All he wanted was proof that she wouldn't abandon him like everyone else did. Like her parents did to her.

 

She wouldn't get back inside now. Because she'd committed the one sin that neither could forgive.

 

Rey wanted to curl up on the ground. Cry herself hoarse.

 

The air was getting colder and she gripped the staff in her hand.

 

No, she was stronger than this. She wouldn't curl up and die. She hadn't survived a childhood on a junk yard planet just to surrender now.

 

Picking up her bag and hooking it over her shoulder, she looked up at the palace. Tried to find a connection through the Force. And spoke.

 

_I will come back. I will find you again._

 

And then she walked through the trees.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey wasn't sure for how long she wandered aimlessly through the forest before she broke through the trees and saw the lights of Theed.

 

The city was eerily quiet and Rey wondered for the first time if maybe night life was prohibited. Stormtroopers patrolled the streets to keep order in the day. That probably extended into the night as well.

 

It was in that moment that Rey wondered for the first time where exactly she was going to go. Staying in Naboo was impossible. She had to get off the planet. She had to find a way of contacting Poe. It was evident that he no longer had his tracker and that was out of the window in terms of getting help.

 

The most important thing now was gaining shelter for the night. It was getting colder and she couldn't risk sleeping in the open.

 

Rey wrapped a scarf around her head to hide her appearance lest someone notice or recognise her. The people were fond of her but that didn't extend to the people in charge of the city.

 

Descending the mountain overlooking the city, she used the darkness and disguise to shoot through the numerous passageways, alleys and hidden corners throughout the city. She encountered no-one and heared nearly nothing. It was a haunting sound in a city so huge and she had the oddest feeling that the occupants of the houses she passed were looking out at her from behind darkened blinds. It didn't frighten her though. She had the briefest yet most persistent feeling they were urging her on.

 

Rey must have covered about a mile of the inner city when she suddenly had a feeling of recognition as to where she was. Looking around, she realised that this was the spot that Phasma and herself had heard a squeak and saw the little boy hide behind the bins. Seized by remembrance, Rey shot down the alleyway towards where the orphanage lay.

 

The lights inside the old derelict building were soft and low and only occupied the bottom windows. It was late and therefore the children must be asleep by now. Rey tried to remember this as she tapped the door gently and tried to make it sound non-threatening.

 

The face that peaked out from behind the door wasn't a child but a woman. She was of Togruta origin and looked distinctly suspicious.

 

“Yes?” She asked, her voice reminding her of Maz a little.

 

“I'm sorry,” Rey whispered, “I know it's late but… I didn't know where else to turn.”

 

“You're a bit old to come to these parts.”

 

“I know but…” Rey lowered her scarf off her head to show herself a little better. The Togruta woman blinked at her as though recognising her. Maybe she had been in the crowd that day. Or maybe she fit a description. She opened the door a little further.

 

“Are you…. Are you the one they keep talking about?” She asked.

 

“I might be. I think the children quite liked me last time.”

 

The woman nodded and opened the door fully, gesturing Rey inside.

 

The room was empty save for a candle on a table and the remnants of what Rey recognised as a meal.

 

The woman locked the door and turned to Rey. “I have been wanting to see you. To send my thanks. For what you have done for the children. For coming here that day. I know it must have taken some courage and it made all the difference to them. They have all been happier since then.”

 

Rey shrugged self consciously. “I wanted to see them. All children deserve some happy memories. I should know.”

 

“Not only that but for the supplies we have received. We've never had so much food and clothing. I almost don't know what to do with some of them.”

 

Rey looked at her confused. Supplies? She hadn't sent any. She had thought about it and had wanted to bring it up after her wedding but had never voiced them. But then who…

 

The cold feeling of yearning crushed her sides as she realised. He had… Ren.

 

The Togruta woman caught hold of her arm. “Maker! Are you alright? You looked as though you were about to faint.”

 

Rey let herself be seated on a chair as the woman checked her complexion.

 

“I'm sorry. I'm very sorry but I need help!” Rey burst out. “I need to find a way to get off this planet. I need to get away from here. Something happened. Something that I shouldn't have let happen. But I need to go. I have to go now.”

 

The Togruta woman could only look and nod along. Rey knew that she was probably unnerving the poor woman but she was too dazed and bone-tired to do anything else. She was confused, heartbroken and angry all at once and kriff if she hadn't had just about all she could take for one day.

 

There was a tiny footsteps from where stairs evidently led up to the bedroom. Rey looked around to see the tiny red-haired girl in the doorway.

 

“Jayana! How many times have I told you off for being out of bed?” The Togruta woman demanded sternly.

 

“Sorry Mistress Zaas.” The little girl, Jayana apparently, replied. Yet she padded over to where Rey was sat. She was smaller than Rey remembered.

 

“You had best sleep upstairs with us tonight.” Mistress Zaas told Rey. There are two separate twin beds at the end of the room with the children. I normally occupy one. You can have the other.” She looked to Jayana. “Take Mistress Kenobi upstairs. She is to rest. No-one else is to get up. Understand?”

 

“Yes, Mistress Zaas.”

 

Rey was led upstairs silently by the tiny girl. The room upstairs wasn't lit by any lamps yet she could see numerous tiny eyes peeping from behind blankets.

 

Rey collapsed onto the bed at the end of the room. Her eyes were stinging yet she couldn't so much as blink.

 

“Where's Kylo Ren?” Jayana asked quietly.

 

“He's in the palace.”

 

“Why aren't you there?”

 

Rey had no idea how to explain the situation to a child yet felt she owed her that much.

 

“Because I made a decision. And I'm not so sure it was the right one anymore. And now I can't go back.”

 

Jayana nodded. “I'm sorry.”

 

Rey sighed and tried to close her eyes tight. “Me too.”

 

 

***

 

 

Rey wasn't sure if she slept at all. Sometimes when she opened her eyes, it felt like a little time had passed. Sometimes it felt like none at all. The children were quiet and apart from the odd snuffling sound and occasional creak of a child turning over in their bed, all was quiet.

 

The pink of a new dawn was breaking through the windows when Mistress Zaas ascended the stairs. Rey sat up.

 

“There is someone here for you.”

 

Rey bounded out of bed. Against all hope, she prayed to encounter the masked figure that inspired such fear. To see the mask that contained the man she was bound to.

 

She skittered to a halt when she came face to face with two men. One roguishly handsome, the other earnest and the embodiment of just and noble.

 

Finn and Poe were standing in the orphanage.

 

Rey could only gape in amazement as Finn enveloped her in a huge hug.

 

“Are you okay? What happened? What are you doing here?” He demanded.

 

Rey could only stare at Poe over Finn's shoulder. “How did you get back here? They have patrols...”

 

“There haven't been any squadrons or TIE fighters so far. Ren must have made an empty threat.” Poe reasoned. “Still we snuck back in under cover of darkness. Maz contacted us. Said you would need us.”

 

“Maz...”

 

Finn pulled away from Rey and looked at her. “Why did you leave?”

 

Rey blinked. “I thought… I mean, I was...” _Tricked._ _Gullible._ _Stupid._ “...mistaken.”

 

“Did he hurt you? Did-”

 

“ _No!”_ Rey yelled. Remembering the children above her head, she hissed a little quieter. “He has never hurt me. It's my fault I'm out here.”

 

Poe didn't seem happy but nodded. “Rey. We have to leave quickly. Ren may have given us more grace than we initially hoped but he's bound to realise that we would come back for you.”

 

Yes, he must realise. Was he… had he put off the search until she was with them and far away from here?

 

“I have to come with you now, don't I?” Rey whispered.

 

Her tone was mournful and Finn looked at Poe concerned. Poe shrugged. “It's the only place we can guarantee your safety. There's a storm brewing Rey. People are starting to turn in higher numbers. If you leave, they will overthrow the order.”

 

_If I leave, I leave him completely. If I stay… I might be killed._

 

“Where would we go?” Rey asked.

 

“The Ileenium System. The General… she wants to see you.”

 

Rey found herself wondering in that moment if she wanted to see the General. The woman had never been anything but kind to her in the messages. But those messages had spoilt so much. She wasn't innocent in that but… oh, why couldn't the past have stayed there like Ren wanted?

 

“And if I stay?”

 

Poe and Finn looked at each other. “Rey, there is nothing here for you now. If Kylo Ren has shut the doors to you, then you won't have his protection. And you are surrounded by Stormtroopers.”

 

The situation seemed hopeless. Rey had run out of options. She simply nodded her head.

 

She let the boys talk amongst themselves as they arranged to depart the orphanage as quickly and discreetly as possible. Rey was handed her things by Mistress Zaas and turned to look over her shoulder.

 

Jayana was standing by the stairs just as she had done the previous night. Rey walked up to her silently and knelt down to talk to her.

 

“Can you do me one thing?” She asked. Jayana nodded. “If you ever see Kylo Ren again, if he ever comes back here, tell him that I didn't want to leave. That I was sorry. But that I would come back. And I would find him.”

 

“I will.” Jayana nodded.

 

Rey tickled under her chin and let the boys lead her away. She didn't remember much about the dash through the streets or getting into the forest back to their ship. She knew she should be frightened. She should feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins.

 

As she sat in the ship as they prepared to take off, she felt nothing but a recital to keep her sane.

 

_I will come back. I will come back._

 

 

_***_

 

 

The flight back through hyperspace went smoother than Rey could have dreamt of. Poe managed to bypass a squadron of TIE fighters with a few well-aimed fires from the guns by Finn. Finn seemed to have found his vocation at long last.

 

Finn kept trying to talk to her throughout the flight to keep her spirits somewhat lifted. He talked about everyone at the Resistance, he'd only been there barely a night but he seemed delighted with what he found.

 

“It's brilliant there Rey. It may not be as glamorous as the palace but the people… you'll like it Rey. I promise.”

 

He was trying. Rey knew this and did truly appreciate it. Finn was a good man and a good friend. She wished she could feel anything other than apprehension as they speeded towards their destination.

 

The planet came speeding into view in nearly no time at all. She was greeted with greenery all around but the landing strip and all its surroundings were concrete and grey.

 

Finn, Poe and Rey departed the ship to a series of people waiting for them. Many wore red flight-suits, overalls and regalia that signalled a military vocation. They all seemed welcoming. Rey just wanted to run back on board and hide in the cockpit. Out of sight and left alone.

 

A familiar face emerged from the crowd. Jessika came striding forward.

 

“Jess.” Rey breathed. Jess grabbed Rey's forearms and gave them a squeeze. Jess wasn't the cuddly type and Rey understood it. She was a great judge of emotions and character though.

 

“Finn, take her to a private bunker.”

 

“What? Oh!” Finn caught on quickly. Jess's expression of 'do it or I'll kill you' spoke volumes.

 

Rey was led to a bunker at the further end of the base. She saw a lot of people stop and stare at her along the way. There were even whispers.

 

“ _That's her? But she's so young!”_

 

“ _It's said that Ren is besotted with her.”_

 

“ _I'm told he killed three men where they stood for just looking at her.”_

 

Rey just gripped her staff and strode all the quicker.

 

The room she was shown was basic and reminded her of the cell she had first been housed in upon the Finalizer all those weeks ago. Still the bed looked comfy and there was a desk, chair and private fresher.

 

“It's a bit bare but you can decorate it anyway you like.” Finn reassured. “Books, flowers… whatever you like.”

 

“It's fine.” Rey dropped her bag onto the floor and went to sit on the bed. The mattress was soft. She would be comfy here.

 

Finn looked like he wanted to keep talking to her. Ask her questions. Reassure her some more. But Rey knew she would be able to provide him with no reassurance and no decent answers. So he left her alone.

 

Rey lay down and tried to close her eyes. She was so tired. Why couldn't she sleep? Why?

 

Rey's eyes shot open.

 

She couldn't sleep without him next to her.

 

She started to shake. How would he sleep now? _Would_ he sleep now? The thought of him alone in his bed, tossing and turning, sweating from nightmares.

 

A sob broke free of her throat. Rey from Jakku would have been disgusted. To weep over a man was pathetic. Yet she couldn't stop.

 

Opening her bag, she grasped hold of one of her old tunics. Bringing it to her nose, she could just about make out his scent.

 

Lying her head on the pillow with the tunic clenched in his fists, she reached out to him.

 

She didn't know if he could hear her or if he even wanted to.

 

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Please leave me feedback.


	27. Attempting to Retrieve a Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support. Your support has been amazing. I love you all so much. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Rey must have slept at last through both sheer exhaustion and a variety of tears. Her eyes were sore and sticky when she eventually opened them again. Her tunic was still close to her nose and for a sweet moment she could pretend that it had all been a nightmare. That she was still in the huge bed with Ren. The fading musk and the less comfy, less spacious bed cut through the fantasy pretty quickly.

 

There was a knock at the door. Rey looked at it dumbly and registered the fact that an earlier knock may have been what awoke her in the first place.

 

“Come in.” She called, her voice scratchy from sleep and lack of use.

 

The door opened and Poe stuck his head around the door. “Hey. You okay there?”

 

Rey smiled with some strain and nodded tiredly. She must be the very picture of miserable and rumpled but not up to explaining her rising sense of despair to her pilot friend.

 

Poe looked back behind him which the door shielded from her view and then back to her again. “Um. I'm not sure if you're up to it but… I've got a visitor who really wants to talk to you.”

 

Rey was not feeling up to visitors but didn't want to seem discourteous or ungrateful to Poe so nodded. “Okay. Sure.”

 

Poe looked at her as though studying whether she meant it and then opened the door fully. The visitor was stood behind it.

 

Rey stared for a moment and then stood quickly.

 

She was so small. That was stupidly Rey's first thought. Rey was of average height for a woman yet she was still head and shoulders taller than the ageing General. The next thought was how she looked like everyone else on base. There was no special decoration to her attire. No badges, or gilding, or gold. Nothing that a former Queen would wear. Just a jumpsuit and body warmer with her sleeves rolled up. Ready to go to work at any moment.

 

Her face was soft and almost motherly as she took in Rey. She smiled warmly.

 

“Thank you Poe. I will take it from here.” She assured in her raspy voice. Poe promptly bowed (which she paid no attention to) and left them in the room.

 

The two women looked at one another for a long silent while.

 

“It's true then: you really are very pretty.” Leia said in a musing voice. “Quite lovely. Like a desert flower.”

 

Rey felt her cheeks warm. Even now, she wasn't used or comfortable with praise.

 

Leia gestured to her bed for Rey to sit down. Leia pulled up one of the chairs and sat herself down upon it.

 

“I hope you find these rooms comfortable. Should you need anything...” Leia trailed off. This attempt at small talk was not suited to either of them. There was no need for it and therefore they did away with it.

 

“I must be a great disappointment to you.” Rey could only whisper. “You set so much store on my influence. And now look at me. He probably hates me.”

 

“He could never hate you.” Leia dismissed. “I may not know him any more but you are not an easy person to hate. Especially if he loved you as deeply as I suspect.”

 

Love. It was something that Rey had chased her entire childhood and adult life. She didn't know it had the capacity to burn her so badly.

 

“I can't feel him.” She whispered. “I've tried reaching out. Calling… it's like there is a brick wall.”

 

“Jedi meditation technique.” Leia said without emotion. “It is to help him retain focus. And also to protect his mind from outside forces.”

 

Rey nodded. She knew. Of course she knew.

 

“I am sorry for what my interference has brought upon you.” Leia said in a tone genuinely contrite. “My actions… they were naive. Idiotic.”

 

“No. No, it's not your fault. You just wanted to know me. To know him again. It was mine. I should have… I should have been honest. Shown him the recording. And told him under no uncertain terms that I was going to reply. That way he would have known me to be truthful. He would have known what I wanted. And maybe he could have been more open to you.”

 

“It's of no use to muse about what could have been.” Leia comforted. “You are here now. And we must make the best of this. All is not lost.”

 

Leia reached forward and caught Rey's small hands in her even smaller ones.

 

“Rey, tell me. Tell me honestly. Who is my son now?”

 

Rey could only breathe out a raspy and almost exalted sigh.

 

“He's tall. He's strong. He has hair that reaches his shoulders and is soft to touch. It's black as night and his eyes are the same colour. He has a strong nose. A strong jaw. Large lips. Soft lips. He is quick to anger. He feels things so strongly. He loves to read. His voice is deep. He doesn't understand flowers but he pretends to just to hear me talk of them. He likes his meat medium well and his favourite sweets are Maz's jam puddings though he'll never admit it. He has uneven teeth. He doesn't like household droids. He hates starting the day without a shower. And...” Rey gulped “… he sleeps better when someone is with him.”

 

 

***

 

 

The day that followed her arrival at D'Qar was hectic and never ceasing in activity. Yet Rey felt like she was separate from it all. Like she was sleepwalking.

 

The General must have made it well-known that Rey was now an honorary member of the Resistance as she was treated with nothing but the kindest regard and highest respect. She was brought before a panel of the highest ranking members of the Resistance. All had a grizzled and hard won quality in their faces but all seemed to genuinely welcome her. She had to sit through a meeting where they asked her many questions. None were particularly obtrusive about her life with Ren. It was mainly based around what she had seen in variety of the Stormtroopers, their training and the security of the palace. Rey answered the best she could but some of the questions gave her a headache trying to remember and Leia had placed a comforting hand on her shoulder to show her support.

 

Rey had been loud and clear about her views on Hux. She told them of his influence and his role in the First Order. If this information was good for anything, she prayed it would be a step closer to getting him away from Ren.

 

Admiral Akbar was the only one to bring up the subject of Ren to her.

 

“How did the sovereign treat you? Was he ever unkind to you? Did he ever threaten you?”

 

Such a blunt question made Rey bite her lip hard. It stung but it gave her a different kind of pain to concentrate on.

 

“There's good in him. I know it.” That was the only answer she would give.

 

She was dismissed shortly after and she walked alone around the green forestry around the base until it had gone dark.

 

Finn, Poe and Jess tried to keep her amused as the first few days went by. They gave her guided tours and introduced them to the rest of the pilots. All were courteous and complimentary. Rey was sure they were delightful people and just wished she was in the right frame of mind to appreciate them more.

 

Many people tried to engage her in conversation and by extension question her about her experiences at Naboo. Jess soon cottoned on to this and must have warned them off after seeing the affect it had on Rey. Rey didn't like the feeling of being babysat. She instead marched onto the air strip and demanded from the Commander in charge of the ships which one had sustained the most damage. He pointed to a rather beaten up looking X-Wing down the bottom of strip and could only watch as she marched towards it. He shouted something about needing clearance to work on the ship but Poe put a hand on his shoulder and must have said something as Rey was soon elbows deep in beat-up and faulty wiring.

 

The entire third day of her time at the Resistance was spent fixing the lower engine and she could barely move her fingers for cramp and blisters by the time she went to bed that night.

 

She wasn't a Queen or a Jedi or the light to anyone's darkness. She was a scavenger. She'd survived on that title alone for a long time. She could do it again.

 

* * *

 

Rey developed a routine to keep her sane on D'Qar. She woke early, had breakfast with Finn, Poe and Jess in the canteen and would go to work on the beaten and broken ships. She wouldn't stop until the sky was dark and her stomach growled. She would proceed to eat her meal at night with all the grace of a Bantha and then she would collapse into bed.

 

For all onlookers, she was adapting marvellously and showed no signs of discomfort.

 

Finn, Jess and Poe knew better.

 

She rarely spoke and didn't engage in chatter like she used to. Her work was all she saw and all she had time for. She rarely made eye contact with anyone she didn't trust. And she had started stealing food again.

 

Jess had caught her creeping into the kitchens and poking around for any scraps that wouldn't be missed.

 

“If you're hungry, just ask Rey! We would never deny you anything.”

 

Rey had shock her head and mumbled something about 'not growing her own anymore'.

 

Jess opened her mouth to recommend that there were allotments where she could carry on planting if it helped but shut her mouth without speaking quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

It was only a day of being on the Resistance base when The General asked to speak to her again.

 

Rey knew that the General wanted to reach out to her as best she could but Rey was struggling to communicate with anyone at that moment. Her days were filled with mindless work and her nights filled with trying to reach out through her bond to Ren to see if she could so much as feel him. She didn't even care if he didn't speak to her anymore. She didn't need his words if he didn't want to give them to her. But… couldn't she just pick up a tendril of thought? Just to know he was okay? Or at least well?

 

Rey appreciated the General not bringing up her haggard appearance when she entered the meeting room that she'd been called to.

 

“There has a development that I feel you need to be made aware of.” The General began straight away.

 

Rey sat up.

 

“We have found, through your information and through our own observations, a flaw within the security of Theed Palace. You should know… we're going to infiltrate the palace.”

 

Rey could only blink. “You're going to attack?”

 

“Not the city. The city won't be touched. But yes, we're going in.”

 

“Ren...”

 

The two women shared a look. One who had loved the boy and still loved the man despite everything he had done. The other who had grown to love the man beneath the mask.

 

All they had was hope between them. And they couldn't be confident they had enough to go around.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Rey watched from the window of her room as the X-Wings shot into the sky. Poe and Jess were at the forefront of the troops. Rey had begged and pleaded to be allowed to go with them but was rejected. She was too closely involved apparently. It made her rage and argue but to no avail. The only consolation was that Leia was staying there also and it was as painful as the General to leave this in military hands as Rey did.

 

Rey watched the ships disappear into the stars and sent up a prayer.

 

_Bring him back to me. Tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him anything. But get him out of there and bring him to me. Bring him home._

 

 

 

***

 

 

She did not sleep that night. Even when she started to see double and felt like her head may explode from nerves and fears and exhaustion.

 

She waited for the dawn with almost violent impatience.

 

She staggered into the canteen at breakfast to hear the cry go up.

 

“They're back. With prisoners! They did it.”

 

 

***

 

 

Rey ran to the General's side and clung to the older woman as they waited in the main war room for the prisoners to be brought forward. Rey felt torn between desperation and fear. Desperation to see Ren, to look upon his face and know he was here. And fear of what she would see in Ren. Would he look at her with hatred? Would he be hurt from the skirmish? Would they take his helmet… Please not that.

 

The pilots and agents finally entered with a figure between them with an arm caught between Poe and Wrex, another pilot. The figure was struggling but being dragged nonetheless. The figure had a sack over their head. Probably as part of the capture.

 

Rey nearly cried out for them not to remove the sack but the cry disappeared into nothing when it was ripped off for the General and Rey to see.

 

She could only blink at the prisoner who she never thought to see again but had never been so happy to see him as her prisoner.

 

General Hux looked around with a look of fury at his position and his eyes narrowed even further upon realising just who had taken him prisoner.

 

“You!” He snarled at Rey.

 

Poe kicked the backs of his knees sending Hux down onto his own knees before them. Subservient and powerless. The darkness within Rey rose up within her.

 

“General Hux, you are as of this moment a prisoner of the Resistance.” The General announced.

 

“You have no right-”

Poe landed a blow across Hux's head. “Hold your tongue.” He snapped. He had clearly been waiting for that moment since the moment he was dragged from his bed by Hux's lackeys.

 

Hux spat out regardless: “My generals-”

 

“Captain Phasma is being held in custody. Your captain is of no use to you now.” Admiral Akbar informed him.

 

Rey blinked. Phasma was here too?

 

There was a flash of panic in Hux's eyes at these words. So he had a heart…

 

Rey grinded her teeth. Enough of that.

 

“Where is Kylo Ren?” Rey demanded.

 

Hux looked up at her as though she was mad. “What are you talking of?”

 

“Where is he? He hasn't been seen for a week and we could not find him in the palace.” The General demanded. Rey looked at her in shock. A week without being seen?

 

Hux looked around him and being cornered by this question, he sighed. Sounding worn down and older than ever.

 

“I don't know.”

 

“Liar. Where is he?” Poe demanded.

 

“I don't _know_!” Hux shouted and looked right at Rey to address only her. “He hasn't been seen since the night you left. I found his mask _destroyed_ in his rooms. He's gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gasp* where could he have gone?
> 
> Feedback is worth sixty portions.


	28. Interrogation of the Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. 
> 
> Forgive me the delay. I kept re-writing this chapter. We are coming to the end (only two chapters after this) and I don't want to drop the ball so close to the end. 
> 
> I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support I've been given for this story and my other stories. Writing is my passion and while these are not my characters I love playing with them for my own amusement. For people to love them in turn is a dream for me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Rey had been left alone in one of the war council rooms. It was a rather joyless and bland room and for that she was grateful. She had no energy to think at that moment in time of anything other than her current thought.

 

_Where is he? Where?_

 

Her eyes were cast down upon what Poe had handed her when they had taken Hux to a cell.

 

Ren's mangled mask looked much the same as Vader's mask. It had an obvious dent and slash down the middle of the mask which was the effect of a saber. Either Ren had been the subject of an attack or… he'd done this himself. Rey touch the melted plastic and knew the latter was true.

 

General Organa had been clearly distressed at the news of her son's disappearance. She demanded to know if any of the Resistance had attacked him or removed it by force.

 

“ _You knew my orders Dameron! No-one was to remove his mask or any item of his uniform in any circumstances.”_ She'd infused when only herself, Dameron and Rey were left in the council room.

 

“ _I remember General. And we followed that order to the letter. None of the squadron saw any sign of him. He wasn't there for anyone to break that order.”_

 

_The General and Poe went back and forth over the details of what they found at least a hundred times before Jess came into the room._

 

“ _Poe.” Her voice was solemn. Her friend turned to face her. “We've found evidence that matches Hux's story.”_

 

“ _What evidence-”_

 

_Jess had held it up for them all to see. The mangled ruins of Ren's helmet._

 

“ _We're searched his rooms. We searched the entire palace. He's gone.”_

 

Rey stroked the smooth plastic that remained unblemished at the back of the helmet. It was ridiculous but she clung to it and would not surrender it when Poe asked for them to take it as evidence.

 

She'd been left alone to her musings since then.

 

I've done this. She thought bitterly. I created this mess. I left him. I went to the Resistance. I let them go to the palace. Why? So Hux could be locked up? Who cares now? The galaxy is govern-less.

 

Everyone looks at her like she is the saviour of them all and she was probably the worst thing to happen in the galaxy since Vader himself.

 

The General took over the search for Kylo Ren. Demanding the entire of Naboo was searched. It was utterly pointless.

 

For the first time, Rey was beginning to feel the tell-tale effects of resentment towards the General. Looking back now, the storming of the palace seemed a little rash and ill-formed. And there was no guarantee that the squadron would have honoured Leia's command to not remove Ren's helmet had they actually found him. Also what were the plans for Ren? He was the ruler of the galaxy by birthright. Even with Hux gone, there was no guarantee of welcoming the Resistance with an open embrace.

 

Rey sighed. Enough. Hiding behind other people was not working. If she wanted Ren found and his safety a priority… she had to find him herself.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Rey was called to a meeting with the other councillors the next day. She walked in feeling less shy and awkward than she had ever done in the past.

 

“How are the prisoners?” The General asked the council.

 

“Hux spent most of the night raging in his cell. The woman Stormtrooper seemed more resigned.” Replied Admiral Akbar.

 

There was a woman present who had a stern yet oddly maternal demeanour. She was addressed next.

 

“Doctor Kalonia, you performed some tests upon the prisoners to ascertain their health?” The General inquired.

 

“I did.”

 

“The results?”

 

“Both are well. Hux seems to be experiencing high blood pressure but that isn't really a surprise. He does have a tendency to… overreact.”

 

“I heard he tried head-butt one of our officers while you were examining him.” Major Ematt commented.

 

“Yes, that was a little unfortunate. But once I sedated him, he seemed better.”

 

“Hmmm. And the woman?” The General asked.

 

Here Doctor Kalonia looked a little more tense. “That proved quite interesting. My findings have led me to believe she needs to be moved to a more comfortable cell.”

 

“Why should we offer her such a luxury?” Demanded Admiral Akbar.

 

“I ran some tests and it would appear that the Captain is… expecting.”

 

Rey spoke for the first time. “Phasma is pregnant?”

 

“About six weeks I should calculate.” Doctor Kalonia confirmed.

 

The entire council were silent. That was clearly not something they had prepared for.

 

Doctor Kalonia took the silence as an opportunity to continue. “Obviously I am of the view that prisoners should not be coddled but I must insist that where such a circumstance as this arises…”

 

“Put her in a more comfortable cell.” Rey instructed. She didn't care if she had no authority; she would take authority here. “Make sure she is well monitored and fed well.”

 

Doctor Kalonia nodded her head and left without waiting for any more instructions. She was a doctor after all and she had a job to do.

 

The members of the council seemed to straighten and come back to themselves.

 

“I want to see them. Phasma and Hux. I want to speak to them. I can maybe gain clues as to where Ren is.” Rey announced.

 

“We have questioned the prisoners twice now. We have garnered nothing new that would help Rey.” Poe reasoned.

 

“I'm sure you have.” Rey said. “But I want to talk to them. I have my own questions. I need those answered and I need to find a way of finding clues to where he has gone.”

 

“We are doing all we can to gather clues-”

 

“I'm not interested.” Rey snapped. “I don't care what you are doing. This is about what I am going to do. You will never find him as he doesn't want you to. You don't know him. I do. And I will find him.” She turned her attention to Leia. “I will find him and bring him home. But his home is Naboo. I won't bring him here to become a prisoner.”

 

“That was not our objective.” The General argued.

 

“Then what is?” Rey demanded.

 

The General was quiet for a moment. “The public of Naboo are disillusioned about the leadership qualities of… of my son. And with good reason as he has been unable to govern without the help of the First Order. Some believe he does not even want to rule or know how. That is as much my fault as anyone else's. But the people have a compromise. They will accept him on the throne… so long as you rule as a joint monarch.”

 

Rey, who had honestly thought she had heard it all at this point, blinked and knew she looked pale.

 

“I have no right to the throne.”

 

“Not by bloodline but by your family history.” The General explained. “Obi Wan was a popular man and his legend still resonates deeply with the people. They have faith in his legacy and the people have faith in you. They have heard the stories of you and they have liked what it is they have seen of you. When you were going to marry Ren, they had hope. Now that you have left, they will only accept him if you were to return and take the reins of power.”

 

Rey took deep and steadying breaths.

 

“And who is to say that I won't still marry Ren?”

 

There was a silence.

 

“We had assumed-” Poe started.

 

“I left him. That was my mistake. I should have taken down Hux myself. But I will find him. And if he'll still have me, I'll still be his queen.”

 

Having said all she had a mind to say, Rey stood up and walked out of the room. She had two interviews to attend.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey was directed to the first cell that was stationed the closest to Dr Kalonia's office. The female physician was clearly serious in her wish to keep Phasma under close scrutiny lest she need anything. Rey found herself like the elder woman for this determination to be a commander but a doctor first and foremost.

 

As she was taken to the locked room, Rey wondered what she would be faced with.

 

What she was actually brought face-to-face with shocked her.

 

The room was fairly comfortable for a cell. It reminded her of the cell she was housed in when she was brought onto the Finalizer. The bed looked like it was made of a decent mattress and it was very clean. That didn't shock her. It was the young woman on the bed.

 

At first, Rey went completely blank at the sight of Phasma without her uniform. Simply and purely because she had never seen her without her helmet before. But the woman sat upon the bed had extremely long legs and limbs and that alerted Rey to the fact that this indeed was Phasma.

 

In some ways she was exactly what Rey had imagined. Her hair was blonde and cropped very short and her expression was neutral at the sight of Rey. Stoic until the end in the face of the enemy.

 

What she didn't expect was that her eyes would be blue and very attractive and that she would have a smattering of freckles on her cheeks (what was it with the armoured villains of this world and freckles groused Rey).

 

“I wondered when you would come to call.” Phasma mused not bothering to change her position on the bed.

 

“What made you think that I would?” Rey asked.

 

“I've spent enough time with you girl to know you never leave anything unfinished.” Phasma looked at her wryly. “The Resistance seem fond of their new mascot.”

 

“I'm no one's mascot.” Rey said. “I'm my own. I would never have helped the First Order. And I don't have enough about me to be the Resistance's. There has been right and wrong on both sides. More wrong on yours granted, but that doesn't wash away the mistakes on their side.”

 

“You are learning.” Phasma mused.

 

“You knew surely that the side you were on was the wrong one.”

 

“Not for me. One man's prison is another's palace. I had rank in the First Order and men who would listen to me. I liked that. I needed that.”

 

“But didn't you see-”

 

“Oh of course I could see. I wasn't blind. I saw the measures taken. I saw the grip Hux had over it all. I even saw that your ruling King of it all wasn't a King in anything but name. He had no real control. It did play on my mind at times, I'm not totally hollow. But Ren seemed to know and not care. So who was I to bite the hand that fed me? I chose to keep quiet. Keep loyal.” Phasma glanced at Rey again. “Hux really did sign his own warrant when he took you from the scrapyard planet, didn't he?”

 

“Do you know where Ren is?”

 

“Of course I don't. If I did, I would have traded that for my own freedom by now.”

 

Rey nodded. She knew this of course. But she needed to hear it for herself.

 

“Is it Hux's?” She asked instead.

 

Phasma stopped looking so nonchalant for a moment. They knew what she was talking over.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Are you going to keep it?”

 

“Hux won't be happy.”

 

“It's your body and your child as well. You have just as much say.” Rey reasoned.

 

Phasma looked down at her hands. Or maybe at her abdomen that her hands were resting on.

 

“It's a terrible idea. I'm meant to be a soldier. A leader of men. I can't do that with a baby on my hip.”

 

“I think it's safe to say your days being allowed to lead any men anywhere are more or less behind you.” Rey commented. “What do you want to do Phasma?”

 

“I'm a survivor. At all costs.” Yet as Phasma looked down at her abdomen again (for that was clearly what she was looking at) Rey saw a flicker of something. Doubt? Intrigue? Attachment?

 

Deciding that the argument raging in Phasma's head could clearly do more for her opinion than she could, she left without a word.

 

The journey to Hux's cell was longer and the décor was not quite so welcoming. While Phasma's had an almost surgical cleanliness to it (the work of Doctor Kalonia no doubt), the hallways leading to the bunker where Hux was being housed were riddled with damp. And that's before they opened the door to his cell.

 

Hux didn't look like he had been too roughed up. There were no cuts on him and he moved without wincing. No, the Resistance campaigned to stop violence. They couldn't very well practise the methods they vowed to destroy. What struck Rey was his lack of cleanliness. The Hux she knew was always immaculate in his duties and his dress.

 

The Hux before her was far from it. His hair was greasy and unwashed, falling limply into his face. He had the beginnings of stubble coming and his black top was discarded leaving him in a white rather grubby shirt. The only thing present in this room, if you could call it that, was a bed and shoddy looking one at that.

 

“Ah. The Resistance princess. Or is it Queen now?” Hux snipped.

 

“Neither. Just Rey will do for now.” Rey looked at the discarded plates at the other side of the cell. At least he was eating at least. “Are you well?”

 

“Define 'well'?” Hux drawled. “If you want my definition of 'well' I would still be in Theed Palace and would have a sovereign that doesn't bugger off at the first sign of upset.”

 

“Where is he Hux? You more than anyone should know.”

 

“Me? I'm not his friend. I'm his minder. I sort out the jobs that he has neither the heart or stomach for.”

 

“Hux, I'm actually trying to help you! If we can't find him, they will assume you are hiding him somewhere or that you've…”

 

“Killed him? Seriously, I'm flattered. Ren is a fool but he's a powerful fool. He can take out an entire squadron of my best troops in one afternoon if he's so disposed to do so. My speciality is more in the admin of ruling.”

 

“Yes, and a pitiful job you've done at that.” Rey snapped. “Was it you? Who dreamt up the Order? Bringing Stormtroopers back? Trying to build a new Empire?”

 

“My father was great General. He taught me from birth what it is to have vision.”

 

“An evil vision.” Rey finished. Hux shrugged.

 

“You call it evil. I call it necessary.” Hux lolled his head back on the wall he was sitting against. “Believe it or not, I assumed he'd eloped with you. You were both missing after all. And then I got word that you'd been seen in this kriff-forsaken place. No sign of him. And that's when I had to take on the duties and keep his absence a secret.”

 

“You didn't tell anyone he'd gone?” Rey demanded feeling the fury rise up in her stomach like bile.

 

“Of course not. My power rested entirely on his power. If he was gone and I had no idea where he was and whether he was ever coming back, I needed to keep it as quiet as possible. I sent only my most trusted spies out to search but with no luck. By the time your little squadron arrived, I was beginning to run out of ideas. Indeed it was almost a blessing to be captured. I don't know how I would have explained to all the diplomats assembled.”

 

Rey could only repeat. “Diplomats?”

 

Hux smiled nastily. “Don't tell me you've forgotten? Yesterday would have been your wedding day.”

 

It was a good thing that Rey knew that art of survival. Knew how to scavenge and fight to thrive another day. Because in that moment the temptation to buckle under the blow of this information was so close she could smell it. She had forgotten entirely. The past few days had flown and she had not even noticed what should have been such an important day passing her by completely. What had she even done yesterday? Watched them drag Hux into the council room and then sit staring at a half melted helmet?

 

Breathing deeply through her nose, she turned to him. “What did he leave behind?”

 

“More or less everything. The clothes he was wearing and maybe a few personal items were gone but that was about it. Nothing of any significance.”

 

“Its all of significance right now.” Rey bent down. “What else was missing?”

 

“That melted helmet is still there if that's what you mean. Gave me the creeps. I will tell you something though. Seeing as you are missing a trick.” Hux leant forward. “His mask wasn't the only thing he left behind.”

 

Rey tried to think. The masks left behind. And not the only thing in that room. The one thing she had touched was…

 

“The saber?”

 

“His saber. Smashed to pieces along with his helmet. But when I went to look at his other collection piece, that was gone.”

 

Rey tried to take all this in. Disappeared without his mask and with someone else's saber.

 

Where could he go where he was safe without his mask? And without his known weapon?

 

Rey looked at Hux. Really looked at him. There was something almost pitiable about him. How he didn't understand Rey attachment to Ren. Because he was capable of it.

 

“Phasma is here.”

 

Hux's face hardened visibly. “I assume you've tortured her then?”  
  
“What?” Rey recoiled. “No. Force no! Believe or not, we are not in the habit of torturing pregnant women!”

 

Her words prompted the look of hardness to drop from his face completely. It was now a look of complete shock. Rey would have almost enjoyed it had she not felt wretched for letting that particular piece of information slip out.

 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry.” Rey sighed.

 

“Pregnant?” He just repeated in a daze. He looked like he was looking into a vortex with no bottom in sight.

 

“Talk to her. She's scared. She would rather face a firing squad than admit it but she needs you.” Rey coaxed. Hux looked like he didn't even hear her. She left quietly.

 

Rey walked back to her rooms and stood amongst the bed, the desk and her fresher. Then she began to pick items up such as various clothing and throw them into a bag. She didn't belong here.

 

It may work for Finn and Poe and she was truly happy they had a place to identify as a home. But it wasn't her home. And it never would be. She was drawn to the light but she wasn't cut out to be a Resistance tool. Her home had a hanger full of broken ships. It held a special one that only she knew still existed. One that she would bring back to life. It had a garden. A garden no one knew about where she would grow roses, daisies, sweet pies and strawberries. Where you could hide and feel the wind on your face with no one to see you. It had more bathrooms than she would ever use but a certain fresher that the memory of left her cheeks hot. It had a bed that was two big for one person and had a scent buried into the sheets that made her feel like she belonged.

 

Ren was missing but she could find him. Only her. And to do that, she had to go back to Naboo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's going back... will she find him? 
> 
> Feedback is worth sixty portions.


	29. One Last Miracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.
> 
> Wow, I'm actually a bit emotional writing this one. It's been six months of hard tiring yet lovely work and now it's coming to an end I feel so sad. Still... I'll still write about our fave space babies. I love playing with them too much.
> 
> I cannot thank you guys enough for the support and love this fic has had. I never imagined people would take to the idea so well. You guys are just beautiful and I will go down with this ship.
> 
> I wrote this to Jean-Phillippe Rio-Py - Fairy Tale (appropriate huh?)
> 
> Please enjoy. I worked my arse off on this chapter.

The shuttle that Rey had boarded to take her back to Theed Palace was on par with the ship that had taken her from Jakku to the Finalizer what now felt like so many years ago. Everything was shiny and well-maintained. Their best ship, Poe had vouched, worthy of royalty. Which was just as well as the cargo they were carrying was a lot more precious than just Rey.

 

Getting approval to leave the base didn't take too much persuading on Rey's part. The council seemed to be of the opinion that Theed Palace was the best place for her. Possibly because the galaxy needed a figurehead of sorts in the public eye until they could find out where Ren had disappeared to. Possibly because they knew that her heart didn't lie in D'Qar. What proved a shock and a bit of a worry for Rey was that she wasn't going back to Theed alone. The General was coming too.

 

Rey was shocked to find herself almost arguing against this. The message that had been sent to Rey had been what brought down the house of cards around her head. Bringing Leia into the fold may burn any bridges left between her and Ren entirely.

 

But Ren was missing. And she needed him back. She would do just about anything to find him. So she needed all the help she could get.

 

Saying farewell to Finn, who had no reason whatever to attend her mission, had been painful. She'd clung to him and felt regret for the distance that her grief had brought between them. She loved him as her first and very best friend. But he needed to find his own way. To come back to the Palace would be a step back for him.

 

Rey spent the entire journey looking out of the window at the stars. She wasn't allowed to commandeer the ship (you need clearance for that apparently) and therefore had nothing better to do than look out at the worlds that she longed to one day explore.

 

She'd sat this close to the stars once before. When she had slept next to the floor length window on the Finalizer. At the time, there had been no tenderness between her and Ren and she had looked out at the stars as a means of escape.

 

Now she looked out at them like a map. He could be anywhere.

 

She'd always been good at finding lost things. It was the scavenger instinct. And she knew that time was of the essence.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The shuttle landed in the docking bay of hanger and Rey was the first out of the ship. She was taken aback to see so many people waiting for her arrival.

 

The Stormtroopers all stood to attention as she walked down the pathway made for her. In her direct sight, there were three councillors who all bowed as she approached.

 

“Mistress Kenobi.” Said an old, rather greasy councilman that Rey recognised vaguely from her welcome party in the council rooms. “It is a delight to see you again. You had us most worried at your departure.”

 

“Unlikely.” Rey replied curtly. She wasn't a politician and had no time for meaningless courtesies.

 

She was spared the unpleasantness of further conversation at the arrival behind her of Leia. The intake of breath and recoil of the three politicians was quite satisfying.

 

“This is General Organa. As I'm sure you remember. As of the foreseeable future, she is to be regent. Any commands she gives I want followed. Understood?” Rey said without preamble.

 

The look of shock on the faces of all around her didn't stop at the councilmen. She hadn't debriefed Leia on this.

 

“I'm not a Queen any longer, Rey.” Leia informed her.

 

“But you're a General.” Rey pointed out. “You know politics. You know how to play the game.”

 

“They want you as a leader. Not me.”

 

Rey spun around on her heel. “I don't _care_. I don't _care_ about any of that. I _never_ wanted the throne. I still don't. All I want if for the universe to stop tearing itself apart at the seams in this search for democracy and I want to find your son. I came to Theed with one purpose and until I achieve it, everything else can go to the womp-rats for all I care.”

 

“Rey-”

 

“No!” Her frustration and resentment had gotten the better of her. If Leia wanted to be help, she could dance to someone else's tune for once. “No more. Help me if you claim you want to. But do as I ask. I won't let the mistakes of everyone around me hinder me anymore. I won't let my own mistakes ruin my chance of happiness.”

 

The part of Rey that had always admired the General was cringing at her words but she felt maybe this was what Leia needed to hear. There were no innocents left in the story and it was about time that they were all held accountable to their sins.

 

The older woman looked taken aback and grave but nodded. Poe, who had boarded while she had been declaring her intentions, looked so shocked he looked rather shaky on his own feet.

 

Rey went to walk away from the room and the councilmen and the Stormtroopers when another thought came to her.

 

And she turned around.

 

“Stormtroopers.” Collectively the heads of at least a hundred guard turned in unison. It was one of the creepiest things she had ever seen. “I have one order for you. As your Queen.” She breathed deeply. “Take off your helmets.”

There was a cry of indignation from the councilmen.

 

“Now see here-” began the rather greasy individual who had been all smiles when Rey had arrived. It was easy in a way. All Rey had to do was stick her hand out and focus. The dignitary went flying backwards with a force that caused him to cry out in alarm. He landed in an undignified heap on the floor.

 

The power of the force radiated off Rey. In that moment, she could understood why Ren had turned to making himself stronger in his past grief: strength was power. And she felt powerful.

 

She turned back to the Stormtroopers. Leia and Poe were also watching her with apprehension. It grounded her.

 

Power was also knowing when to give it up.

 

“Take off your helmets.” She repeated as though the disturbance had never taken place. “You may keep your armour if you so wish. But the helmets must go. I won't have anymore masks in this palace. With a face, you will be accountable for your actions. Show me yours.”

 

There was something like static in the air as she waited for the reaction of the men. Would they rebel? Would they refuse? Would they obey? Rey hadn't a clue.

 

Then, one Stormtrooper reached up and wriggled his helmet off his head. He revealed his face. A rather unremarkable looking young man. Rey found herself blinking at the revelation of humanity beneath the plastic armour.

 

Slowly another Stormtrooper took his helmet off. Then another. And another. And suddenly the sounds of dozens of abandoned helmets fell upon the floor.

 

Within the space of about a minute, not a single Stormtrooper wore a helmet and the eyes of over a hundred human men stared back.

 

They were all so normal. That was the thought that kept cloying at Rey's mind. The army that symbolised all the suppression in the galaxy were just a band of rag-tag men and boys. All rather unremarkable looking. It was the most scary thing of it all.

 

It's like when I unmasked Ren, she mused. Not a monster. A man. A beautiful man with freckles and moles and ears that stuck out.

 

No more masks. Not ever.

 

Rey nodded her approval and then left the hanger without a word.

 

Let Leia govern. She had work to do.

 

 

***

 

 

The halls were almost silent. Like the people who once walked them were now ghosts. Rey was certain she would hear someone; the echoes of old times. Maid's dashing about, Stormtroopers marching on patrol, the distant bark of Hux, the laughing and jesting of Poe and Jess.

 

Whenever Rey would turn to greet it like an old friend, it was gone.

 

The approach to her old rooms, to their old rooms, took longer than she remembered. Her footsteps were slow and measured as though approaching a sacred place.

 

Once outside the door, she wondered if her famous strength would finally fail her.

 

The door was unlocked. She went inside.

 

It was obscene in some ways how normal and unaltered the place was. How much it felt like she had returned from her usual routine in time for dinner.

 

And in other ways, the change was so apparent, she nearly doubled over with the blow it dealt her.

 

Many ornaments were gone. No doubt cleared away after Ren had taken his saber to them in his anguish. There was a smell of uninhabitable in the room. Dust had been allowed to settle here and there.

 

Rey took it in. The living area with the sofa where they had read together, the dining room where they had eaten, the kitchen area where she had learnt to make a cup of tea without melting the cup.

 

To anyone else, it was just a set of rooms. The royal apartments.

 

To her, it was the home she had always dreamt of. Only to find someone had come in during the night and stolen something precious: her family.

 

The bedroom was the last to be explored and examined. Pushing the door open, she stared at their bed. It was unmade. Untouched since that last morning they slept together. Rey wanted to run to it and bury her face in his pillow. She slammed the door shut instead and sank to her knees.

 

Pain. She felt so much pain. Like someone had landed a punch to her gut.

 

_Ren. Ren!_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

She searched the apartments like a mad woman. Desperate for a sign, a clue, anything that would alert her as to where he might have gone.

 

Nothing was missing. Nothing at all. Except Luke Skywalker's lightsaber.

 

Luke Skywalker. Could Ren have turned to the one person who might understand his situation that was still alive?

 

Skywalker was known to live as a complete recluse on an island somewhere far from the remit of anyone who wished to locate him. His uncle could also have Ren look upon his face as his nephew was one of the chosen three who he had permitted to see his true self.

 

A life of complete seclusion with a man who understood him. There were worse ways to live she deduced. Ren couldn't be anymore alone than he had been for the past eleven years.

 

Leia came to her apartments to find Rey rifling through his belongings.

 

“Rey?” Leia queried. Rey didn't look up.

 

“He must be with Luke. It's the only feasible solution.”

 

“Luke?” Leia repeated sounding tired.

 

“He has no close friends. No ties to any neighbouring planets. No support network elsewhere. The First Order would have had access to nearly every perimeter of the known universe so if he had moved so much as an inch in their remit then they would have been on to him. Hux clearly didn't want it getting out that they had lost him.”

 

Leia tried to speak but Rey was becoming more animated with her findings.

 

“He took the saber. He must be looking to give it to your brother. Maybe as a peace offering. The sign of a truce.”

 

“Rey.” Leia took hold of her hand. It forced Rey to look at her. “He's not with Luke.”

 

Rey blinked. “He is. He must be.”

 

“No.” Leia shock her head as though she wished it was true herself. “I thought what you thought when I heard he had gone. It felt like the only place he would go. But I contacted Luke. And he's not there. Luke didn't even know he'd gone missing.”

 

Leia's face was kind and tender. Clearly her outburst earlier had been forgiven. Rey slumped as her last hope seemed to flare and die like a candle.

 

“But then where...”

 

“I don't know.” Leia whispered. “But I know that you know where he's gone. I know you will work it out.”

 

“But I don't.” Rey choked. “I'm running out of ideas. Luke was my last hope.”

 

“No-one knows my son like you. Even when I was in his life, I didn't know him like you do.” Leia stroked Rey's hair back. “Stop trying to think like a strategist. And think like him.”

 

Rey let her body slump forward and let Leia soothe her back as she rested her head against her shoulder.

 

She was so tired but if she never found him she would never rest.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rey had forced herself to go back into the bedroom and lie down in the middle of the bed. It had been emotionally devastating to be embraced by his scent again and be no closer to finding him. So much so that for ten minutes she buried her face in a pillow and wept without restraint.

 

Now she was empty of tears and ideas, she just stared at the wall from her position in their bed.

 

_If I was Ren where would I go?_

 

He'd spoken of nowhere from his childhood that held any significant happy memories. He'd spent the majority of his youth within these walls and a lonely childhood had been the result.

 

Had he gone looking for Cora? She'd never been found of course so there was every possibility she wasn't dead. But he had next to no idea where she would be and had spent a good amount of time searching for her as a result already. So that idea seemed void.

 

Her head hurt. She wished she could share the burden of this with someone like she sometimes shared the burden of being one of the three with-

 

Rey's eyes shot upon and she sat up so quickly she nearly suffered from whiplash.

 

She was out of the room and running down the halls before another moment was wasted.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The kitchen was completely empty. Of all the changes she had encountered within the palace, this was probably the most disturbing. This was the place where she felt the heartbeat of the palace survived. It was always loud, full of bustle and smells as rich as Padme Amidala's old gowns. Where she would sit down with Finn every morning and eat their breakfast as they planned their day.

 

To see it still and quiet was confirmation to Rey that the palace had died.

 

There was a solitary noise in the corner of the kitchen. And a solitary figure.

 

“Where is everyone?” Rey blurted out.

 

“Gone.” Maz replied. “There's no-one running the palace any longer. No-one giving commands. People have to survive. If there's no-one to care for, then no credits are coming in. People have families to feed.” Maz wiped her hands as she stepped away from the massive pot she had been stirring and looked up at Rey with her enormous goggles. “You came back.”

 

“Of course I came back. I would have been back sooner had you not...” Rey couldn't finish.

 

“You couldn't go on the way you were heading.” Maz reasoned calmly. “Ren believed that you needed to choose from the heart. If you didn't know the consequences, he thought you would make an honest choice.”

 

“I thought my friends were in danger!” Rey argued. “Of course I was going to try to help them.”

 

“I know. I warned him but sometimes people will choose the fire because it is the most enticing even when the fire starts to burn.”

 

“Maz, I need to find him.”

 

“I know. You are in the right place.”

 

“I can't be. This entire palace was searched-”

 

“It was searched everywhere they knew about, yes.” Maz interrupted.

 

Rey furrowed her brows and then…

 

Of course. Of course. How could she be so blind? _Of course_.

 

Maz pushed a bowl of stew into her hands and pulled something out of her dungarees. It was the key to Rey's garden.

 

“Go to him. I've sustained him for as long as I can. But he's so stubborn. Go to him. And for the love of the galaxy, make him eat.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

Rey was shaking so badly that she nearly dropped the stew and her key at least twenty times on her way through the labyrinth. By the time she came to the door she was shaking so badly, she thought she might be sick.

 

Placing her key card in the secret door, she pushed it open.

 

The colour was striking when she entered her beautiful garden. The flowers had finally began to bloom and the perfume was intoxicating. The tree was shedding leaves like confetti.

 

They covered a figure beneath the tree.

 

Putting down the stew onto the floor, she ran to him.

 

Ren was lying beneath the tree with his eyes closed. Rey nearly cried out at the sight of him. He was waxy pale and his cheekbones stuck out in a frightening fashion. He'd lost weight and looked so weak…

 

All she had dreamt of from the moment they had parted was throwing her arms around him and squeezing him as tight as she could. Yet now she was afraid a touch would shatter him.

 

She did what she had done in the beginning: she touched his face.

 

“Ren.” She whispered. “Ren, it's me. Ren!”

 

His eyes fluttered several times before opening a little to look up at her. At the sight of her, he grimaced.

 

“Stop tormenting me.” His voice was like gravel. “You're not real. Leave me in peace!”

 

At this, she shock him firmly.

 

“It's me. I'm here. Ren, I came back. I'm here!”

 

His eyes opened again and squinted up at her. His hand, after two failed attempts, lifted up and touched her face. The breath that left his throat was like a splutter.

 

“Every night you come to me. Then every morning you're gone.”

 

Rey lay her head against his and kissed his face. Anything to inform him that she was real.

 

“What are you doing here? What have you done to yourself? Ren!”

 

Ren, who was still looking up at her like she may disappear like smoke, breathed deeply. “I won't go back in that mask. I won't die a prisoner of it. If I'm going to die, I want to die free.”

 

“How could Maz hide you like this?” Rey spat.

 

“Because I told her that if she told anyone where I was, I'd use my uncle's sword on myself. Besides, she wouldn't dare risk sending people in with my mask in pieces.”

 

Rey wanted to punch him but didn't dare lest she hurt him further.

 

“You haven't eaten in over a week?”

 

“Maz insists on feeding me. Sometimes I eat. Sometimes I don't.”

 

“Kriff, you're so weak. You can't give up. You can't die.” Rey cried in agony.

 

“Why not? I have nothing left.”

 

“I'm here. I came back. For you.” Brushing his hair out of his face, she looked down at him, cradled in her arms. “I came back. I came back for you. I came home. I won't leave you again. I'll never leave you again. I love you. _I love you_.”

 

He looked up at her without blinking. His eyes reading her like he wanted to see for himself if what she said was true.

 

“I love you.” Ren replied. Rey nodded.

 

“I know.”

 

The atmosphere crackled around them. Rey wondered at first if it was what true joy felt like. Then it got stronger.

 

Looking away from him, she noticed the wind had picked up around them. It was now almost howling around the garden. Screaming.

 

There was a feeling of release in the wind. Like it was sweeping away the burden of the years. The air crackled with static and there were flashes of light coming from before her eyes.

 

Ren gasped as though seized by a feeling caught between pain and exaltation and tried to sit up but Rey had to prop him up in order for him to do so. She called his name out to him but he seemed far away and her words may as well have been an echo in a long tunnel. He seemed to be losing consciousness altogether and Rey felt the terror of actually losing him. To have him die in her arms… she wasn't strong enough to lose the only person she'd ever loved. No-one was.

 

And yet he didn't seem to draining away from her. He looked like the colour was slowly coming back to his cheeks. The sunken grey pallor he'd been sported was bleeding back in his usual milky complexion and there was colour to his cheeks. It felt as though beneath her hand that was rested on his chest, the bones that had stuck out so accusingly were beginning to soften. No, not soften. Acquire padding. His chest was regaining its strength. His body was regaining its strength.

 

Rey looked around wildly for any explanation. And found one stood around her.

 

The three figures were stood together and yet apart. Characters in their own right. The youthful face of Anakin Skywalker showed his obligatory smile that tended to look like a smirk. Yet his relief was evident. The woman amongst them, the image of beauty and poise, smiled more openly. Rey mused in that moment that no matter how many gowns they had thrown at her, no-one could recreate the beauty of Padme Amidala. The third gentleman… she did not know. A little shorter than Anakin with reddish hair and a beard, he was smiling not so much at Ren but at her.

 

Rey recognised those eyes. She saw them every day when she looked in the mirror.

 

“Grandfather?” She sounded like a small child. But people often revert back to a child-like state when what they've been waiting for since childhood returns to them.

 

“You look more like your grandmother. She was a striking woman.” Obi Wan replied.

 

“My bodyguard no less.” Padme mused good humouredly.

 

She wouldn't have left Ren alone on the grass beneath the tree for anything lest he disappear once again. But the urge to run and try to maybe touch or at least inspect every feature of a man she had never known made her feel like she may be sick with need.

 

“It's over.” Padme reassured. “He proved his love: he let you go. And you proved yours: you came back.”

 

Rey looked down at Ren who was still unconscious from the force of the curse being lifted. He looked completely restored. Kriff, he looked better than ever.

 

“It's over? He's free?” She breathed drinking in the face of freckles and moles. A constellation she would explore with more depth than any galaxy.

 

“He's free.” Anakin reassured. “We're all free.”

 

Rey looked to her grandfather.

 

“Don't cry Rey. This is where your life begins. These are your first steps.”

 

“But you'll leave.” She couldn't help but sniff. “I finally find my family and you leave me again?”

 

“You have a family. One that will only grow now.” Obi Wan assured.

 

“We were meant to unite the galaxy. The three of us together.” Anakin reflected. “Now do what he used to say he would; finish what we started by uniting our families back together.”

 

Rey looked down at him as he started to move and come back to himself. She coaxed him awake with gentle words and when she looked back, the glowing figures of a past life were gone.

 

Ren opened his eyes and looked at her again. He looked in possession of himself yet dazed.

 

“I feel strange.” He whispered.

 

“The curse… it's lifted.”

 

Ren looked at her like he couldn't comprehend what she was saying then slowly sat up. With his strength restored, she did not need to help him.

 

“Lifted?”

 

“It's over Ren.” He needed to know this was no joke. “You're free now. Your uncle is free. We all are. It's over.”

 

He looked away from her and down at his hands. Like he couldn't believe the body he sat in, the world he lived in, the words she spoke.

 

Then a smile broke across his face.

 

It started with just a twitch of the lips and the spread like a river. His uneven teeth were shown to her. She loved his smile. He looked so young.

 

Then his arms were around her and their lips were touching, claiming, reacquainting.

 

_I'm home, Rey proclaimed, I'm home._

 

* * *

 

 

Ben Solo took a long time to leave the garden that day. For a time, it was purely due to the fact he was in no fit state. He swung between joy and emotion so acute it might kill him yet.

 

She came back. She was here in his arms in the garden and her smile was blinding and beautiful. For the first time, he actually believed she'd never leave him again. Because she'd come back on her accord. And, damn it all, that meant something.

 

Then the magnitude of what freedom meant crushed him. The realisation that he had caused her just as much pain as she'd caused him. His mother being in the palace. He sobbed before her, ugly heavy cries of pain, and she nursed him though it. Joining him on occasion.

 

She was not even twenty and she had more strength than he could ever dream of.

 

Ben did not enquire as to the state of the galaxy but got the impression that Rey wasn't overly concerned so he had no reason to fear. He also deduced that if his mother was here, Hux wasn't an issue anymore.

 

He knew the Resistance would swoop in when Rey went to them. That's what led him to come into the garden. He was sick of being a puppet and wished to be allowed to quietly slip away. He'd completely lost himself to despair in that moment but he knew that the Resistance would finally snatch Hux off his perch. And he'd been hanging by a thread for a long time.

 

Which brought about an unexpected sensation for such a wonderful moment: fear.

 

No-one had seen his face for so long. What would they make of the man beneath the mask? Would they want him?

 

There was no more excuses now. Hux was clearly dealt with. His govern-ship of the galaxy would go unopposed as it was his birthright and Ren hadn't been blind to the hatred Hux inspired. He had another advisor now. He would have a Queen who was loved and trusted after a mere two months under the lens of the worlds he ruled.

 

Would they forgive his past sins and let him rule by his own instincts? Would he know what to do?

 

Would his mother strike him down where he stood for all he'd done?

 

Would he even recognise her? She had a habit of changing her hair.

 

Ben got as far as the door to the garden and then had to take several deep breaths. Rey touched his arm.

 

“Hey. It's okay.” Rey reassured.

 

“Is it? What if...” There were so many scenarios to list and to fear it was enough to give him a burst blood vessel.

 

“I know. But I'm here and I'll help you.”

 

Ben breathed deeply. Then reached for his belt.

 

His uncle's saber had been his only tool of protection in the garden. He'd been serious in his threat to Maz about using it but it seemed too quick. Too clean. Too much like his father's death. He'd believed himself unworthy of such a quick death and he had always been a masochist.

 

He studied it and then handed it to Rey.

 

“Take it.”

 

Rey looked down at the weapon and placed her hand on it as though it might burn her.

 

“You need a weapon. This should suit you well.”  
  
Rey looked up. “It's your uncle's.”

 

“Who I believe will reject it even with his freedom restored. And it calls to you. It's always called to you.”

 

“It was your grandfather's.”

 

“All the more reason to not take it. I've had enough of honouring legacies. I'd like to make one of my own now.”

 

Rey could only nod. “I'll do my best not to tarnish what's left of his.”

 

“You never could anyway.”

 

Ben stared at the door out of the garden. Back into the light. To freedom.

 

He'd made mistakes. Huge unforgivable ones. Yet he had gained that forgiveness.

 

He'd made a mess of ruling. Yet he was offered his throne back with his love at his side.

 

He'd been a creature of infamy. A monster. A shadow in a mask. Yet he was free.

 

He was still weak. Still afraid. Still bitter. Still more dark than light. But he wanted to know the light. He wanted to be hopeful. Wanted to be brave. Wanted to be strong. And the little hand gripping his hand would help him.

 

He opened the door and stepped out into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. A nice juicy epilogue that will tie up the loose ends. I'll have it up by Wednesday.
> 
> Give me comments on this one. I need to know if I ended it right.


	30. 20 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes deep breath* Sooooo... this is it. 
> 
> I actually feel both proud, sad and relieved but overall the biggest emotion is gratitude. I can't thank the people who subscribed, gave kudos and commented enough. It's been my anchor in a lot of stormy times. 
> 
> This epilogue is kind of like a story within an ending but I like it. I feel like epilogues that offer no future plots are a bit too neat. Skywalker families are messy and dysfunctional. That's why we loved them.
> 
> A good song to listen to for this chapter and indeed the whole fic is Saturn - "Sleeping at Last" which is my all-time favourite song and makes me cry all the time.
> 
> So read and enjoy this last offering of this story...

Sabe rubbed her eyes and refocused her eyes on the holobook. It was a rather extensive piece of history and nearly 400 data pages later she wasn't even halfway through. She'd been in the palace library since about mid morning.

 

The history of the universe was like a drama acted out for entertainment. Betrayal, dramatic duels, secret love and wars across several light-years of space. People who found it boring confused Sabe – how could you find the Jedi legacy boring? But it worked in her favour in some aspects. One.) no one came into the library and she had the beautiful gift of silence and two.) everyone who understood its significance had studied it all ready and therefore didn't need to read it again.

 

“Mistress Sabe!”

 

Sabe rolled her eyes. Goodbye, gift of silence.

 

“Three-Pee-O. What's wrong?” She turned to face the gold service droid.

 

“I've been instructed by Master Solo to collect you.”

 

“Any particular reason?” She asked not getting up.

 

“He was quite empathetic that you are not to spend your birthday in a library.” The droid explained.

 

Sabe sighed through her nose. Surely her birthday was the one day she could do as she pleased. But she rarely disobeyed the sovereign and ruler of this palace.

 

“Very well.” Sabe conceded marking her page in the holobook. “Best go to see him then.”

 

“Oh thank goodness.” C3-P0 enthused in that oddly put-upon voice of his. “I was not in a position to fight you today. I am in dire need of an oil bath.”

 

“I'll have one arranged.” Sabe promised. And maybe disassemble his voice box.

 

Sabe followed the droid through the library and out into the halls of Theed Palace. It was a busy day for the servants who was rushing about with a look of harassment on their faces. Tomorrow was a big celebration as it was the twentieth wedding anniversary of the Sovereign and his Queen. The galaxy insisted on a show of jubilation apparently so a ball was being held for tomorrow.

 

C3-P0 was not the fastest walker so Sabe took a leisurely stroll until he stopped in a particular corridor. Sabe looked around him.

 

Ben Solo was looking down from a window overlooking the great hall of the palace at the preparations for the ball tomorrow. Sabe took a moment to examine him. A very tall man and broad in his build, he was still strong and fit considering he was now fifty years of age. Years of relentless training with lightsabers did wonders for the figure apparently. His hair was shoulder length and wavy with streaks of grey starting to become prominent from his temples. He also had a goatee beard which suited the angular features of his face.

 

“Master Solo. I have found her.” C3-PO announced.

 

Ben Solo looked away from the sight of preparations and nodded upon seeing Sabe.

 

“Thank you Three-Pee-O. That will be all.”

 

“Oh, um, is there anything else you require?” To serve was C3-PO's function and purpose. Therefore it normally took at least twenty attempts to get rid of him.

 

“No. Why don't you see if the Queen requires anything? She normally starts craving coconut around this time of day.”

 

The gold droid waddled off, clearly happy to have a new objective. Leaving the ruler and the young girl alone.

 

“You asked for me, Sir?”

 

“Yes. Just wanted to make sure you didn't read your day away.”

 

“It's only my fourteenth. That's not even a big age.”

 

“I was led to believe every age is a big age for a young girl.”

 

Sabe shrugged. “I don't like fuss.”

 

“Well, you're the only one of your siblings that don't.” The older man gave a sort of quirk of the lips. He often reserved that smile for her and her brother and sisters. “Still, happy birthday Sabe.”

 

Sabe smiled. “Thank you, Father.”

 

* * *

 

 

Ben Solo escorted his daughter back to the royal apartments where her mother was waiting for her. Sabe, being the most quiet and least inclined to fuss of all his children, had a tendency to be overlooked sometimes. The third child and the third daughter was a quite unfair position for any girl and Ben was conscious not to let her feel neglected by her parents. Yet oddly she never seemed to appreciate people noticing her. She tended to blush scarlet and find her boots fascinating. And she was always locked in that kriffin library. He was beginning to regret extending it.

 

The ruler was also not looking forward to this damn ball the next night. Neither was Rey. His idea of a celebration was locking the family living quarters and watching his family interact, argue, eat, laugh and generally be a normal family. It was his own personal fairytale. But he knew that seeing as his wife and himself had cheated the galaxy out of a wedding, they now had to pay a toll.

 

_His wedding to Rey had been so contrary to what Hux had planned that he wondered if maybe it was Rey's way of trying to cause the former General to hear of it and suffer a burst head gasket. There were no dignitaries, no ice sculptures, none of the nonsense that Hux had planned._

 

_They'd married in Rey's garden with only a select few in attendance beneath the overhanding tree. Ben had worn his usual black attire minus his mask and gloves (at the time he was still getting used to picking up and touching things without a barrier and without being in his rooms). Rey had worn her old scavenger dress and put flowers in her three buns. It was cleaner than he had ever seen it and darned where it needed fixing._

 

_The traitor (or maybe not a traitor), the woman pilot and Dameron were in attendance. That was purely for Rey's benefit. The two men had looked upon Ben with suspicion and also amazement to see his face. He'd not been much warmer but Finn had held out his hand to Ben who eyed it like it was diseased._

 

“ _For Rey.” Finn had said empathetically. It had humbled Ben. For her,_ anything _. So they'd shook hands stiffly. Himself and Dameron had just nodded to one another. It was a bit too soon to get chummy with that one._

 

_Maz had attended as well. She'd not changed out of her dungarees for the ceremony._

 

_And his mother and uncle were there._

 

_His meeting with his mother had been more draining than he had ever anticipated. She'd been in the council room taking command and trying to soothe conflict arising in his absence when he walked in with Rey. The woman he remembered was gone. Her hair was lighter, the result of greying, and her figure more padded with years. Yet her eyes never changed. Eyes never do, Ben lamented._

 

_The sight of her adult son stood before her unmasked caused her mouth to drop open. She suddenly charged at him and he braced himself for the blow to the face he undoubtedly had coming. Imagine his surprise when she instead threw her arms around his middle and clung to him like he might run off at any moment. It was all he could do to rest his head on top of hers and just hug her back. Kriff, he'd missed her and hadn't appreciated how much until now he had her back. She got his tunic wet and he got her hair damp but it didn't matter a jot. She still loved him. Anything else was a bonus._

 

_The slap did come later when they were both calmer and in private. She'd yelled at him, he'd yelled back, they'd slung it out at one another and bought all the hurt back up. It was ugly and raw and left him feeling like he'd been shot at multiple times. The sun was rising when he was finally on his knees before his mother and could only croak: “Let us try to atone to one another. Please.”_

 

_Leia had threaded her hands through his hair and brushed some away from his forehead._

 

“ _You're warm.”_

 

“ _It's probably just a cold.” He dismissed not caring._

 

_She frowned and slowly bent down to lean her forehead against his. Testing his temperature. Testing the waters._

 

_They stayed like that a long time._

 

_His uncle had arrived back in Naboo the following day. He'd felt the change that had come over the family. He'd chosen to come out of exile for a small time. He doubted he'd stay in the palace and indeed did leave back for his island after the wedding. He'd needed as much time to adapt as Ben if not more. It had been thirty years after all._

 

_He met Ben as placid and calmly as he ever did. He had mastered the art of no emotion yet his eyes gave away his amazement that he was indeed here and free to move amongst people without armour. They showed his remaining anger at his nephew for what he'd done to his mother and father. And overall the joy to see that the boy he'd once loved so much returned to him bruised, overly cautious and tense but here._

 

_They all put the past grudges and mistakes to one side and watched as they exchanged vows._

 

_It was not anything close to a royal wedding. The reception, if you could call it that, consisted of Maz bringing some of her best recipes to the council chambers (she had acquired new staff) and Ben had sat more or less alone with his thoughts as he watched Rey move about the room talking to her friends and new family. It was all over before the sun was down and they retired to their apartments alone and without ceremony._

 

_It was the happiest day of Ben's life._

 

_He had taken her to the waterfalls and meadows of Naboo and they had stayed in his grandmother's old summer home for their honeymoon. They'd spent two glorious weeks doing nothing but read, eat, drink, talk, walk about the fields and make love endlessly anywhere and everywhere they could._

 

_They'd made the official announcement after they came back when there was nothing to disturb their calm._

 

_Rey had implored Ben to have the implant he'd had installed removed and he had bid Doctor Kalonia to do so the night before his marriage. He'd left it up to the fates._

 

_So when, only two days into their stay in the fields of Naboo, he'd been lying in bed with Rey asleep beside him and he could hear a flutter in his ears he assumed it was just a trick of his tired state. Yet he'd concentrated a little and it grew louder._

 

_It was coming from next to him. From Rey. The flutter of a life inside her._

 

_He'd been utterly stunned and couldn't move an inch._

 

_He couldn't believe what he was hearing and for a while wouldn't believe it. It was the stress of the past few years finally breaking free. He was bound to be a little susceptible to fantasies._

 

_He moved about his day on auto-pilot and said nothing to Rey. Yet one night she dashed up to him before bed and grabbed hold of him._

 

“ _Can you hear it?” She demanded wide-eyed and awed._

 

_He could only nod._

 

_Not a fantasy then._

 

_They said nothing to anyone for two months as it was too dangerous to get ahead of themselves. It was such a delicate time. Rey couldn't wipe the glow off her face though. She smiled widely and without remorse. He could feel her thoughts through the Force._

 

A baby. My baby. Our baby. A family.

 

_Ben smiled the best he could and tried to act natural._

 

She'll hate me if she suspects…

 

_Ben soon realised something though: he was crap at hiding his feelings._

 

_Rey was sat waiting for him one night after he had finished training._

 

_Her look brokered no argument that they were going to talk._

 

“ _Do you not want the baby?” She asked softly. Her eyes were glazed. Always trying to be strong but clearly hurting. Would he ever stop hurting her?_

 

_It had been so terrifying to admit his fears outloud._

 

“ _The baby won't like me.” He blurted out as though the words tasted poisonous. “Skywalkers… none of their children like their fathers.”_

 

_The hurt had melted from Rey's face then. Understanding and compassion took its place. She'd taken his hand and led him to their bedroom. Lying down, she gestured to him to lie down near her stomach._

 

“ _Talk. Let them know your voice.”_

 

_Ben had been conscious about doing this but learnt to speak through the Force to the tiny little thing in his wife's belly that never spoke back but was clearly listening. Soon he'd made a ritual of doing so. As her belly began to grow and round beautifully with the life inside her, he felt the fluttering strengthening and the beginnings of calm pass over him._

 

_He was still terrified. Still convinced he'd be the worst father in existence. Still couldn't quite get his head around the fact the child he'd never meant to be able to create was on its way._

 

_But he was learning and he tried. That was enough for Rey._

 

_He wasn't there for the labour. Rey had decided, not unkindly, that he might be more of a distraction than she needed. He'd spent the entire time pacing, with his mother trying in vain to stop him breaking down the door and going to her side._

 

_The moment she'd been born, he'd known. He'd just known and no-one was keeping him out of that room now._

 

_Rey had been propped up on pillows, hair stuck to her forehead and exhausted, but utterly radiant. Her joy made her more of a Queen than he had ever seen. The bundle in her arms held all her attention._

 

_He'd approached slowly as though not sure he'd be welcome to blemish this beautiful sight with his presence._

 

_The baby was tiny with a little tuft of black hair, his hair, stick out from under the blankets. Eyes shut to her amazed parents._

 

_Ben stared at his tiny daughter in amazement. She was here. She was real._

 

_He could feel her comprehension of who was holding her._

 

_Mother._

 

_She scrunched her face up a little and he could feel the force reach out to him, so strong in such a small thing._

 

_Then it came through to him as clear as day._

 

_Father._

 

_The baby passed back into her doze with an aura of complete calm._

 

_She trusted him. She knew who he was. She loved him._

 

_Any fears he had disappeared completely. All he felt was love. So much love for this little girl._

 

_Kriff, he never knew he could feel a love like this for anyone but Rey._

 

_She trusted him to be there for her. She'd listened to his daft ramblings as she grew in her mother's stomach and decided he would protect and love her. He had to make her trust justified. And he would. If it killed him, he would._

 

Sabe and himself approached the royal apartments and let themselves in.

 

Rey was sat upon the sofa watching as Hanna played with her toy X-Wing or chewed it depending on how you looked at it. Ben found his wife determination to get their two-year-old interested in planes adorable if not a bit over-ambitious.

 

Looking away from one daughter, she smiled at the one he came in with.

 

“There you are! Was wondering if you would come out of there.” She jested to Sabe who shrugged.

 

“Where else would I be? Can't get any peace elsewhere.”

 

“Well, you're not getting any peace today, birthday girl.” Rey pulled her daughter into a hug. Sabe chuckled and indulged her mother as she often did.

 

The rest of the family soon bled into the room from their respective rooms. His two oldest daughters, Padmé and Breha appeared from the balcony and his son Luke-Anakin soon came out of his room. Hanna made a show of stretching her pudgy arms up for Sabe to pick her up. Breha soon had Rey sat back down again.

 

“You were dashing about all day yesterday,” she urged her mother while gesturing to her five-month pregnant stomach, “it's a sitting day. You promised.”

 

“I'm pregnant, not ill.” Rey reminded her. “And I'll have you know that I fought a duel against a Sith Lord while four months pregnant with Luke and he turned out fine.”

 

“Well, that's a matter of opinion.” Ben mentioned causing his son to throw a pillow at him and the girls to laugh.

 

He listened to them all chattering and just stood back a moment.

 

Padmé, eighteen and elegant, Breha, sixteen and gentle, Sabe, fourteen and wise beyond her years, Luke-Anakin, thirteen and a caring sensitive boy and Hanna, two-years old and already a character. Kriff knows what the twin boys his wife was carrying would bring.

 

And among them, a wife who had seen the very worst of him and still smiled at him like he was worth every heartache.

 

In these riches, he was a King indeed.

 

* * *

 

Sabe had requested only one thing for her birthday from her parents: a trip in the Falcon.

 

And this would take up the bulk of their evening it seemed as Ben and Rey’s presence was mandatory tomorrow night. So Sabe would get her present on the evening of her birthday.

 

Unlike Hanna, who didn’t know what an X-Wing was really, Sabe had a deep love of ships and the mechanics of flying. If she wasn’t a scholar, she would like to be a pilot like her Uncle Poe. Luke-Anakin was a keen pilot too and they both tended to corner any pilot to drill them for any titbits of advice and to hear their stories. A pilot who made it to the age of fifty in this galaxy was an impressive thing indeed.

 

This wasn’t shared by all the family though. Breha decidedly disliked flying and tended to feel nervous around the X-Wings.

 

“You just never know which one you’ll never see again.” She’d explained to Sabe when asked.

 

That said Breha didn’t mind the Falcon and was always perfectly calm if her mother or Poe was flying. As anyone would be.

 

But it wasn’t Breha who refused to go. It was Padmé.

 

“I’ve made plans with Creann.” She insisted. “I can’t just let her down!”

 

“But letting your sister down on her birthday is okay?” Rey countered with a hint of firmness in her tone that was the first warning for her children to drop an issue very quickly. Sadly, Padmé never cared about that.

 

“It’s just a trip around the stars. We’ve done that a hundred times before!” Padmé complained. “I don’t know why we have to do it again.”

“Because it’s what your sister wants.” Her father said firmly. Sabe cringed. Their father was using his council meeting voice. He rarely used it on his children. If anything, he indulged them where he could which meant their mum had always been the disciplinarian.

 

Padmé scowled and looked ready to complain some more when Sabe decided to save them all misery.

 

“Go. Go and meet her.”

 

“Sabe, it’s meant to be a family trip.” Rey reminded her daughter, clearly surprised.

 

“One she doesn’t want to come on. She can stay. I want her stay.”

 

Padmé, clearly not about to argue, nodded happily and dashed out of the apartments.

 

“You shouldn’t have let her get her way.” Her father warned Sabe, clearly not happy in the slightest.

 

“If she had come, she would have wined, complained and ruined it.”

 

Her parents couldn’t argue with that so said nothing. Sabe went to get ready.

 

Of all her siblings, Padmé was the one Sabe liked the least. Being the eldest, she had experienced the most attention and had been spoilt. Sabe couldn’t accuse her parents’ of favouring her over them as they had taken pains to make sure that all their children were treated the same.

 

They were too different. Sabe was quiet and kept her emotions to herself while Padmé was chatty and tended to make her grievances felt. Padmé was elegant while Sabe was awkward. Padmé had taste and fashion setting skills while Sabe lived in her brown tunic and pants.

 

This could all be forgiven had Creann not arrived on the scene.

 

Creann was the daughter of General Hux and Captain Phasma. She’d lived with her parents in the monitored quarters they were housed in under guard in Coruscant. Her parents had been traitors and Sabe’s father had been urged to kill them or at least separate them all. Yet he’d refused.

 

Captain Phasma sometimes came to Theed Palace under escort to give opinions of soldier training. The woman had many faults but she was an excellent commander and she didn’t grudgingly feel gratitude at not having her child ripped from her like she had feared. As for Hux, well, it was safe to say he would never be allowed near a conference room again in his life.

 

Their daughter was permitted to come and reside in the palace when she was sixteen years old. Sabe had been amazed when she’d seen her. She held herself with the poise of a young lady and was wonderfully elegant. She wore long gowns that covered her well yet showed off her slim figure. She also had red hair that tumbled down to her waist and shone when the light hit it. Her mother’s eyes and height had also been inherited. She stood at six foot in her socks.

 

She’d been welcomed warmly and Padmé was put forward to make her welcome as they were the same age, born only months apart. Padmé had resented it at first and then warmed to her role.

 

Now she had warmed far too much as Creann’s influence had rubbed off on her. Creann was never rude but she gave little away. Sabe could see her sometimes scanning her eyes over people like she could read them at a finger snap. Also Sabe never forgot that her family were the enemy. Padmé had started to become extremely hard work since then, refusing to partake in anything that didn’t include her friend and had become snobbish and at times rude towards her parents.

 

Their mother could put Padmé back in her place easily but Sabe saw the hurt it caused their father. He never said a word but she could see it. Her father and herself had always had a close connection.

 

So if Padmé didn’t want to come that was fine with Sabe.

 

She loved her sister but she didn’t have to like her. Not at all.

 

***

 

The Solo family boarded the Falcon that stood pride of place in the hanger. Sabe had to give it to her mother: Rey had fixed this up a treat from its former garbage days.

 

Her mother piloted with Sabe acting as co-pilot. She’d never done so before so was nervous and excited but had practised on so many other less impressive ships, she was confident she would turn them into flying debris.

 

Breha, Luke-Anakin and Hanna all stayed in the main area of the plane playing (Search chess) while her father stood in the corridor of the ship watching the cockpit from a healthy distance. He never came in if he could help that. It took him a long time to board the ship again at all. And in the cockpit, he could hear the voices of another life long gone.

 

_If he can suck it up and face it, why can’t Padmé?_

 

They spent the evening navigating asteroid fields, examining stars at close range and discussing constellations.

 

It was viewed by many as a rather droll past-time for the royal family.

 

Who cares? Sabe was never more happy than close enough to the stars as to touch.

 

* * *

 

There were few ways Ben liked better than starting his day off with his wife.

 

Sucking in a deep breath, he rolled his hips grinding his length deeper inside Rey, who was rolled onto her side with her leg draped over his to give him better access. She moaned close enough to a growl indicating that he had found her special spot with success.

 

Kriff, he loved Rey like this. The second trimester was always fun as her hormones were always out of control. They’d always enjoyed a healthy sex life (the five children they had already were testament to that) but the twin boys she was now carrying seemed to have doubled the effects. He was glad her temper had calmed down into something more manageable. He’d had to confiscate her saber twice previously.

 

“Fuck Ben.” Rey moaned as quietly as she could. Even this early and with sound-proofed walls, they didn’t want to scare their kids completely.

 

“Trying to.” He murmured with a scoff that turned into a shudder at the smooth slide of being within her. He ran his hand along her body enjoying her pregnant body. Her figure had changed over the years. She was still lean, due to her natural build and her religious practise of training with a saber at least five times a week, but not it was fuller and softer in places. Her torso was no longer completely flat and her breasts were a cup size bigger. It never bothered Rey. It was a sign of her children. Ben adored her regardless but loved the change. It showed her as the mother of his children and reminded him that she’d given him everything he’d ever wanted.

 

His thrusts became harder and faster causing Rey to keen loudly and clenched around him. He slid his hands up her to gently cup her breasts, conscious they were sensitive. He turned her face to him so he kiss her through the building feeling. Rey fisted a hand in his hair almost painfully to keep him where he was.

 

Rey forgot her bid to be quiet when she finally surrendered but Ben was too busy pounded into her to care. He came not long after her with a curse.

 

They curled up together as their breathing came back to normal.

 

“And that’s the only part of the day I’m likely to enjoy.” He said still breathing heavily.

 

“Who knows?” Rey replied sleepily and clearly sated, “We might enjoy it.”

 

“Doubtful. A bunch of dignitaries coming to pay their respects? You know they are here for the food.”

 

“Maz’s cooking is good. But more than likely its to spy on us.”

 

“Oh, even better(!)”

 

Rey gently swatted his chest. “Don’t you want to celebrate twenty years?”

 

“Of course I do. By repeating what we just did about ten times today like we normally do.”

 

Rey laughed. “You’ve already got me carrying twins. I think you’ve had enough of all that.”

 

Ben smirked. “You were pretty emphatic you wanted a big family.”

 

“Got that down to a tee then.” Rey mused.

 

Ben would have loved to spend the rest of the day like this. But there was a question he needed answering.

 

“Rey… what’s going on with Padmé?”

 

Rey’s eyes opened and her face turned into a frown. “Probably trying to prove herself as an individual.”

 

“Padmé has always been like that but she’s never disregarded her family to do so.”

 

“She’s eighteen. She probably considers herself too old to indulge us any-more.”

 

“Well, Breha is sixteen and she over-indulges us at times.”

 

Rey stroked his hand. “It’s more than likely that Creann’s influence. All people acquire less than savoury friends.”

 

“Yes, like I did with Hux. I won’t let his daughter corrupt ours.”

 

“We’ll keep an eye on it. But now, come back to bed. We’ve got a long day ahead. Let’s savour the peace while we can.”

 

Ben let his wife drag him back under the covers and tried to put his eldest daughter a little further at the back of his mind. Yet Ben couldn’t shake the foreboding that the old Skywalker prophecy might be manifesting – where all the children hate their father.

 

* * *

 

 

Sabe and Luke-Anakin made their way to the back of the castle where the soldiers trained. They didn’t want to get in the way of preparations or worse be roped into helping them.

 

The training rooms were the size of an arena and covered all forms of combat. The troops that monitored the palace and Naboo were being taken through drills. Sabe had seen photos of the old Stormtrooper helmets. It was hard to imagine what the sweating and unremarkable faces of the soldiers could have inspired.

 

Sabe and her brother ignored them and headed straight for Jayana.

 

The red-haired woman was twenty-three but fought better than the most experienced soldier. Her parents had discovered her in an orphanage in Naboo and, after her father’s unmasking, had taken her in as their ward. She’d been the older sister to Sabe that Padmé was doing a crappy job of.

 

The older girl finished smashed the training dummies to pieces and looked up.

 

“I thought you two would be busy arranging table settings.” She jested.

 

“Why do you think we’re here?” Luke-Anakin replied.

 

Jayana swung her practise sword in one hand that Sabe could never get right. Her father could do it too and he had cross-guards on his purple saber!

 

The three sat down on the sides as Jayana ate the sandwiches that Maz had given the siblings to deliver.

 

“Are you coming to the party tonight?” Sabe asked.

 

“Of course. Got to celebrate somehow, don’t we?”

 

Sabe nodded.

 

“When are we training with the new practise sabers?” Luke-Anakin demanded.

 

“When I feel like it.” Jayana replied taking another bite of her lunch.

 

Sabe rolled her eyes. Jayana would probably teach them tomorrow. She just liked winding up her brother.

 

Luke-Anakin was probably her favourite sibling being only a year younger than her. He also resembled their father the most.

 

Sabe wondered if any of her siblings would become Jedis. They all possessed the Force and knew how to use it but Sabe considered that none of them were suited to a Jedi life. A life of no attachments hadn’t been how they were raised. Sabe knew that some people looked to her to be the one to train but she disagreed. She was too old now and she had formed attachments. She acknowledged that she deeply loved her parents and even her oldest sister so it was not a path she could walk down.

 

As Jayana and Luke-Anakin talked, Sabe looked up at the windows at the top of training arena. They were corridors in the palace that overlooked them all as the soldiers trained. Sabe blinked to see Padmé and Creann.

 

They were talking and didn’t notice that one of the girl’s sisters was watching intently. Padmé seemed happy and relaxed and bizarrely so did Creann.

 

Sabe never saw the red-haired girl smile so it was crazy to see her have a gentle look on her face. As though she really was interested or enjoyed the conversation or just spending time with her sister. Padmé always dressed more elegantly now in gowns that matched Creann’s style.

 

Sabe looked back to Jayana who was watching her.

 

“See anything interesting?” She asked.

 

Sabe looked back at the window. The girls were gone.

 

“Not sure yet.” Sabe shrugged.

 

“Hmm. Padmé seems quite attached to Hux’s girl.” Jayana mused, helping herself to the second half of her sandwich.

 

“She’s turned into a right nerf.” Luke-Anakin scowled. “She’s always been hard work but now she thinks she’s better than us.”

 

“Really?” Jayana said, chewing her food and not sounding particularly interested.

 

“I don’t like it. What if Creann is turning her against our parents?” Sabe asked.

 

“I doubt it’s that. It might be something much simpler than that.” Jayana argued.

 

“Like what?” Luke-Anakin demanded.

 

Jayana finished her sandwich. “I have a few ideas. But it’s best not to speculate. Give the girl a chance. We can’t all be held accountable for the mistakes of the last generation.”

 

Sabe frowned but said nothing. Jayana smiled and threw the sandwich wrapper over her shoulder. “Come on; I’ll show you the new blaster guns we’ve just got.”

 

***

 

Sabe dressed herself in her usual tunic and pants set and asked Breha to braid her long black hair in an intricate style. Breha tried to coerce her younger sister into wearing something a bit more feminine but Sabe hated dresses. Luckily their mother was of the same opinion and wore a similar outfit.

 

They all filtered into the Great Hall separately. Breha arrived first, then Sabe and Luke-Anakin followed and finally her parents with Hanna in Rey’s arms.

 

Suddenly it begged the question: where was Padmé?

 

Her mother rose to the occasion and Sabe heard her comfort her father: “It’s early yet. She’s probably not ready.”

 

This placated her father for a while but soon an hour had passed and even her mother was looking around for her.

 

Jayana arrived and went to Rey.

 

“Anything?” Rey demanded.

 

“Nothing. We’ve searched the entire palace.” The woman looked regretful at her surrogate mother.

 

“Where is she?” Sabe heard her father demand.

 

Rey wasn’t able to answer. Because she didn’t know and the dignitaries had started to arrive. It was time to play Rulers and Ben couldn’t afford to slip into concerned parent mode at this time.

 

Sabe had never seen her father so tense. His eyes kept darting to the door as though hoping Padmé would finally appear. Even her mother who was generally less protective of her children looking pale throughout. Jayana didn’t stay for the ball as the only way to stop Rey from running from the room was to search the palace again.

 

It was horrible night. Everything went to plan as far as the guests were concerned. They were too busy stuffing their faces, dancing and drinking to care anyway. Breha took over the duties of a princess in her sister’s absence and did a better job than Padmé would have done. It was torture. Because the whole family kept thinking – where is she?

 

Padmé had never just not turned up to a big event like this.

 

There were a few happy moments that night though.

 

Sabe was delighted to see the arrival of her grandmother Leia Organa-Solo and Uncle Luke. The former Queen was open with affection and hugged all her grandchildren. Sabe was now taller than the old woman. Because she was becoming old as she was now pushing eighty. Yet she stood with her back straight like she was constantly stood to attention. Uncle Luke was always more contained. Big crowds were challenging to him as he was only used solitude his entire life.

 

Sabe watched her grandmother approach her father with fascination. Her mother and grandmother hugged openly and her mother was full of smiles in welcoming her mother-in-law. Leia had settled in D’Qar with the reserve army and acted as her father’s right hand woman. It was better for the family to have distance without walls. Leia was perfectly happy to receive weekly holomessages and make a visit every two months. Her father was a little awkward embracing his mother (mainly due to height difference) but Sabe noticed how he relaxed in his mother’s embrace after a few seconds.

 

Leia did notice Padme’s absense though and that brought the cloud of worry back over.

 

Poe and Finn arrived with Jessica in tow not long after. Poe and Finn had been married a good fourteen years at this point and they bought their daughter Maddee. She’d been another orphan that Rey was now a patron of in Naboo and the two men had fallen in love with her as soon as Rey had shown the baby to them.

 

Maddee was shy but had a tendency to smile a lot at Luke-Anakin. At twelve years old, she worshipped him a little. Luke-Anakin had a tendency to stutter a little when talking to her so Sabe had a sneaking suspicion that her regard may be reciprocated.

 

Poe and Finn were still her mother’s guests yet Ben still made a point of shaking Finn’s hand (due to her mother watching them) and being cordial yet sneaking in the odd insult to Poe. It was progress between the three men. Slow and tiny progress, but progress nonetheless.

 

In the end, the royal family had to stay until midnight but left immediately afterwards. Rey used her sleeping two-year-old as an excuse and fatigue from her current condition.

 

Her parents burst through the royal apartments and collided with Jayana.

 

“Found them.” She said.

 

Sabe looked around. Padmé and Creann were sitting on the sofa.

 

“Caught them sneaking back into the palace. They’d gone to the waterfalls.” Jayana explained.

 

The relief to see her sister was okay was quickly replaced with fury. And her mother was on the same level.

 

“What the Kriff did you think you were playing at?” She demanded of her eldest daughter.

 

“We didn’t mean to be gone so long. We just lost track of time.” Padmé said in a forced tone of calm. A little too forced. She was trying to act nonchalant so her parents would think they were overreacting.

 

Not a good plan.

 

“You could have told us!” Her father fumed. “A holomessage. A note. Anything!”

 

“I wasn’t needed! We have balls all the time.”

 

“This was different.” Rey whispered dangerously. “I wanted to celebrate with my family.”

 

“You didn’t want a ball! You’ve been complaining about it for weeks.” Padmé snapped.

 

“I still turned up with everyone. I thought that with my family around me it would be nice. Maybe even fun.”

 

Her mother had tears in her eyes. Her father, deciding that this needed to end, gently put his hand on Rey’s arm and stepped forward.

 

He cast his eyes on Creann who had said nothing.

 

“You can go. I think it’s about time you went back to your parents.”

 

Padmé, who had looked quite shamefaced by her mother’s evident despair, whirled around at her father. “What? You can’t!”

 

“This has got to stop. You’ve become unmanageable lately and the only reason I can deduce is because of her.”

 

Creann’s face gave nothing away but her blue eyes spoke volumes about the shock she was feeling.

 

Padmé flushed.

 

“She’s not leaving. Just punish me. I don’t care.”

 

“Then it will just be a never-ending cycle.” Her father interjected. His tone was solemn and brokered no argument. It was a rare sight but not one that any of his children could fight against.

 

“Why are you trying to control me?!” Padmé demanded becoming hysterical. “I’ve been in this palace my whole life. I’ve done the dutiful daughter act. Now it’s my turn!”

 

“I have given you everything you have ever wanted.” Ben hissed. He had never lost his temper with his children but he now looked dangerous close. Luke-Anakin took a step closer to Sabe for support.

 

“You haven’t asked me what I wanted for years!”

 

“I won’t let the family of my enemy tear my family apart again!”

“Oh, like you tore your own father apart with a saber through his chest?!”

 

Her father went completely white. Her mother looked like she’d been punched. Even Jayana, who was pretty hard to shock, widened her eyes almost comically. Nobody moved.

 

The rage that Sabe had felt growing and had done her best to tamp down broke free.

 

You didn’t say that. You never _ever_ say that!

 

She darted past her father and brought the palm of her hand across Padmé's face so hard the crack was almost deafening.

 

Padmé gave a shriek of pain and fell onto the coffee table. Creann was at her side at once.

 

It snapped her parents out of the spell.

 

Sabe had her arm caught by her father before she could move an inch. Because, Force forgive her, that felt good.

 

“Enough!” His voice was a roar. Sabe’s other arm was caught by her mother to pull her further away from her sister.

 

“How could you say that? You ungrateful bitch!” Sabe screamed at Padmé who was still nursing her cheek. “You like traitors so much? Go live with them. I don’t want you here. You spoil everything!”

 

“I hate you!” Padmé screamed. Sabe wondered if it was directed at her, their father or the room in general.

 

Sabe ripped herself free and ran down the corridor to her room, locking it.

 

She collapsed on her bed but couldn’t cry. The feeling of anger was too powerful. It was painful yet intoxicating.

 

Hate is the path to the dark-side. And she was now sure she hated her sister.

 

 

***

 

Sabe listened for a long time as the apartments became quieter. Her palm burned even now so she wondered how Padmé's face felt.

 

She knew she would be punished for what she’d done. She could deal with that.

 

There was a knock on her door and the door slowly opened. Sabe looked up from her pillow expecting to see Luke-Anakin. Instead her father stood in the door.

 

Sabe sat up. She hadn’t foreseen this.

 

“May I?” He gestured to the bed. Sabe nodded.

 

Her father sat down on the end of the bed. He looked ludicrously out of place in her little room.

 

“Shall we discuss what happened?” He asked solemnly.

 

“I’m not sorry. I know it was wrong but I’m not sorry. She deserved it.”

 

“That’s not for you to decide. Or to hurt her.” His eyes were always so sorrowful. Like he had seen untold hurts. She hated to be the cause of a further veil being drawn behind them.

 

“She said… she said...”

 

“I know what she said.”

 

Sabe looked at her parent. The one she had always identified with best and felt a distance, a lack of understanding between them for the first time.

 

“How can you bare it?”

 

Her father leant forward on his elbow braced on his thighs.

 

“Because it’s nothing less than what I deserve.”

 

Sabe went to speak but he held up a hand and she kept quiet.

 

“You know of your grandfather’s fate and what I did. Surely you must have questioned why?”

 

“I know why. The curse. You were locked in a mask. Uncle Luke was too. It poisoned your mind. And then Mum set you free.”

 

“You know the outline of the story.” Her father nodded. “But you know more than most that you need to read every word of a story for it to have flavour and context.”

 

“You told us what happened.” Sabe reminded him. “Each time one of us turned ten you sat us down and told us.”

 

“Yes,” her father said a little quietly, “it seemed a good age. But you’ve never asked me more. None of you have.”

 

Sabe looked at him and realised: he wanted her to ask.

 

“Why?”

 

Her father looked at her and smiled a smile that was so sad it would have been easier if he’d just started yelling at her.

 

“I can’t answer that.”

 

“But you said-”

 

“I did. But there in lies the true problem: how can I answer that question when I no longer know the answer?”

 

Sabe wanted to touch her father’s hand but didn’t know whether she should.

 

She knew of her father’s dark past. Knew he’d done some awful things and she knew he repented every day by trying to rule the best he could. She knew some people still couldn’t let Ben Solo thrive without bringing up the shadow of Kylo Ren. Knew that some people believed him a monster who had gotten a reprieve he didn’t deserve.

 

And she understood no-one felt that more than him.

 

“That makes what she said even worse.” Sabe snapped.

 

“Possibly. But she was angry and I can’t judge anyone for what they do in anger. I hated myself for years and rejected your mother when I first had her brought to me because of it. But she saved me. Saved the man I thought had died years ago. When Padmé was discovered to be on her way, I was so terrified. I was unworthy of being anyone’s father and I thought I'd make a mess of it. Then she was born and I discovered a truth.”

“What truth?”

 

“That my father had forgiven me for what I did. That in those last moments before he slipped away from me, he had truly forgiven me already. Because if it were anyone of you kids, I would have taken a stab to the chest everytime if it meant it could save you in some way. I can never forgive myself truly but the day it stops hurting is the day I’m no longer human. The pain is good at times. It shows how far I’ve come.”

 

“What about Padmé?” Sabe asked.

 

“I will deal with her. She was in the wrong. Admittedly, when she was born I was so overwhelmed I indulged her and gave her too much of her own way. I just desperately wanted her to love me and knew no other way. Your mother had to rein me in a few times. By the time, the rest of you came along I got a bit better. Not a lot but a bit.”

 

Her father then reached forward and took her hand. “Please make it up with her. I will deal with her but you are to never hurt her again. Understood?”

 

Sabe nodded.

 

Her father rose from her bed. “Oh. And you’re grounded. For a week.”

 

Sabe smiled. She hadn’t left the palace library for over a month. She could survive that kind of house arrest. And she had a suspicion her father knew it.

 

***

 

Sabe got into bed but couldn’t sleep. Her father’s words kept going around and around her head. Sighing, she eventually kicked off the blankets and put on her dressing gown. If only for her father’s sake, she would make it up with Padmé.

 

Trudging quietly through the royal quarters, she roamed the corridors. Her parents’ old rooms had been extended and they now stretched out and covered the entire north sector. Which meant she had quite a walk.

 

Sabe reached Padmé's rooms and knocked quietly. Then mused that Padmé might be asleep and decided to wake her.

 

She went into her sister’s living area and went to the bedroom door. A light was viable beneath the door and Sabe pushed it open.

 

She certainly wasn’t expecting what she saw.

 

Padmé was in her nightdress and Creann was sat with her on the bed similarly attired. Creann had Padmé's face cupped in her hands. At first Sabe couldn’t see from the angle she was stood at and thought they were whispering. Then Creann tilted her head and she saw.

 

They were kissing.

 

Sabe couldn’t move. Could believe it. And yet in an odd sort of way things were finally starting to make sense.

 

Creann pulled away from Padme and saw Sabe standing in the door. Her face, previously flushed and blissful, now looked shocked. Padme looked around and turned pale.

 

“Sabe. What are you-”

 

“I...” Sabe didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t remember now what she had come for.

 

Creann pulled her dressing gown around her. “I better go.”

 

“What, no. Please.” Padme turned and looked beseechingly at the red-haired girl. Creann stroked her arm. Her blue eyes were calming as Padme soon nodded as though they had just had a conversation.

 

Creann walked past Sabe quietly and left the two sisters alone.

 

Padme looked torn between straightening herself up and acting calm or dissolving into a panic.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I came to see you. To say sorry.” Sabe cringed a bit when saw the nasty red splotch on Padme’s cheek from her palm. She didn’t feel so unrepentant now. It suddenly felt like an ugly act.

 

“I don’t want your apology.” Padme scowled.

 

“Well, tough. You’re having it. This was more for Father than for you anyway.” Sabe breathed deeper. “Anyway, it’s hardly the most relevant thing now, is it?”

 

“Look, whatever you thought you saw-”

 

“I know what I saw. You two were kissing.”

 

Padme went pinker.

 

“Are you two… together?” Sabe asked.

 

Padme opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and then finally whispered.

 

“You can’t tell anyone.”

 

Sabe was struck by how young her oldest sister looked in that moment. How scared.

 

“Padme,” she took small steps towards her, “if you are worried about Creann being a girl then don’t. You know Mother and Father don’t care. And we have Uncles Poe and Finn-”

 

“It’s not that.” Padme blurted out desperately. “I know that won’t bother them. They might be surprised but not upset. No, its…” Padme sniffed and Sabe finally sat on the bed next to her. “I was never meant to feel this way about her. When she came to Naboo, I was determined not to like her after what her father did. I felt I owed it to Father. But Mother wanted us to make her welcome. Do you remember what she was like the first time we saw her Sabe? She was… like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I’d never seen such a graceful and beautiful woman. I was jealous. I wanted to be her. And then I wanted to be with her.”

 

“Padme, she’s… she’s cold.”

 

“Not to me. Never to me.” Padme’s eyes were shining. “She’s a bit like Father. Everyone thinks they know him. Think he’s cold, dark and unfeeling. They don’t see… and it’s the same with her. She keeps her feelings to herself because she’s had to her entire childhood to survive. It took me so long to see underneath it. She’s kind. She’s strong. She’s beautiful.”

 

“How long?”

 

Padme sniffed. “About two months.”

 

“So when you disappeared tonight...”

 

“I didn’t mean to be gone so long.” Padme sounded almost desperate to be believed. “It was honestly just meant to be a chance to get away for a few hours. We are never alone. I feel like we’re always watched. To lie in the grass together, listening to the water… I rested my head on her stomach and she stuck daisies in my hair. Kissed my face. Told me I was beautiful. Sabe… I didn’t come back because I couldn’t bare the idea of leaving such happiness behind.”

 

Sabe looked at her older sister intently.

 

“Do you love her?”

 

Padme couldn’t answer. But the anguish on her face answered for her.

 

“I felt so bad when I realised that I’d ruined the ball. Jayana was really angry and she never gets upset. I knew it was wrong but I was proud. And then Father said that Creann had to go.” Padme lost what little control over her tears she had. “They can’t take her away from me Sabe, they can’t!”

 

Sabe reached forward and awkwardly patted her shoulder. Padme hadn’t been affectionate to her for so long that she wasn’t sure she was allowed. Yet she was soon rubbing soothing circles on her older sister’s back.

 

“Father was angry. He thought, we all thought, you’d done it on purpose. I doubt he means it.”

 

“He will now. After what I said.” Padme’s face crumpled like an AT-AT that had been shot down.

 

Sabe pursed her lips. Her anger at her sister was still present but it wasn’t so powerful now. All she felt was pity now.

 

“Oh Force Sabe, I didn’t mean to say it! I couldn’t believe I said it. I wanted to tear out my own tongue as soon as the words were out. He’ll hate me now. He’ll never look at me the same.”

 

“He was hurt. And maybe he will take time to move past it. But he loves you. Loves all of us.”

 

“I’m a terrible daughter.” Padme whimpered.

 

“You’ve been a pain in the arse lately, yes. But you’re not terrible. Not really. Not always.”

 

“I don’t know how to fix this.”

 

Sabe sighed. “Yes you do. You need to tell them the truth.”

 

Padme shook her head. “She’s General Hux’s daughter. They’ll never let it happen.”

 

“It already has happened. And trust me, being lovestruck is a lot more preferable than thinking you hate their guts.”

 

“They’ll send her away.”

 

“From where I’m sitting, that’s looking like a possibility anyway. If you tell them the truth and start being honest then they are more likely to be generous.”

 

Swallowing and taking several deep breaths, Padme looked at her sister.

 

“I just want her to stay.”

 

“I’ll help you. I’ll vouch for you.”

 

Padme seemed to wilt under her sister’s help and sank down onto the bed in a state of exhaustion.

 

“I’m sorry Sabey.”

 

Sabe swallow the lump in her throat. She had been called that petname in years.

 

“So am I Padey.”

 

Sabe stayed to see her sister fall into a restless sleep. She stayed to fall into one of her own soon after.

 

* * *

 

 

The following night saw Rey sitting in her garden until late in the evening.

 

Even all these years later, nothing compare to the smell of freshly cut grass and her roses in bloom. It was colder in the evening’s so she brought her robe.

 

It had been an exhausting few days. First Sabe’s birthday. Then the disaster of the ball. And Padme’s confession this morning.

 

It was still quite a shock to Rey. Her instincts must be slipping as had genuinely thought they had just been friends. But that level of devotion had always made her curious and now she understood why.

 

Padme had been nearly shaking and pale as she explained to her parents’ what Creann was to her. How she had never ever meant to cause so much hurt and she was just lashing out because she’d been frightened of losing this bright new love in her life just as she’d discovered it.

 

Sabe had been present. She’d not let go of Padme’s hand throughout.

 

Ben had listened. Been given a chance to speak. He hadn’t. He simply walked to Padme in a exhausted kind of relief that his daughter didn’t hate him and kissed her head. It was affirmation enough to send Padme into tears of relief and to cling to her father like she used to as a child when he was the moon of her world. Rey had been more vocal how it didn’t matter so long as Padme was happy and was sure Creann was earnest.

 

And that had been that.

 

In the cold light of day, there were things to consider. Ben planned to speak to Creann. A fatherly interogattion as to her intentions and probably a warning that if she broke his daughter’s heart she would never be given a second chance. Or any of her descendants for at least a thousand years.

 

No curses though. The poor girl didn’t warrant that. No one did.

 

Smiling, Rey looked around. Her life was like a fairytale in many regards. So many twists, battles and a happily ever after. But happily ever afters are just stories that haven’t finished. It was the aftermath of happiness that was the most fun. To have children, to rule, to govern, to fight, to cry, to make-up and just shamble through life the best you can. To wake up next to Ben and know that no matter how hard the battle, you were the victor and the spoils of that war were having to wrestle the duvet away from him lest she freeze to death.

 

Ben and herself had earned their descendants and that was the sweetest ending of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Wow, that's weird to say. 
> 
> Hope it did justice to the story and was enjoyable. EDIT: My tumblr is https://waterlilyrose.tumblr.com/
> 
> I have the actress Raffey Cassidy in my head when writing Sabe as I think she'd be a great mix of Rey and Kylo should anyone ever play their daughter (please, I'd die happy). I also had Cat Power - "I Found A Reason" playing during Sabe and Padme's reconciliation. 
> 
> I'm definetely going to carry on writing Reylo for all those who have asked. I need to carry on with Illenium Manor, I have plans for a Teacher/Student AU and number of one-shots in mind. I'd love to do a Harry Potter style one. Reylo at Hogwarts... oh my!
> 
> One last request: If you've read but never commented, please comment now and let me know if my story was enjoyable. And if you have, comment all the same and accept my humblest thanks for so much support and love.
> 
> Edit: Love is love in my eyes so I'm not interested in homophobic flames. It saddens me that this is still an issue. 
> 
> May the Force be with you.


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